(Unless otherwise stated, assume that the girl is talking to the boy, and that Mask is talking to Other people. We will update you when this changes.)

  Girl!

  Boy!

  Mask!

  Other people!

  “Shoulda asked this earlier- What kinda magic are ya workin’ with?”

  “Now then, let us get down to business.”

  “i do not know.”

  “EHHHhhhiii’m not surprised. That tracks. You’re a real piece of work, Bug…”

  “I do not yet know whom, but one of you has my key.” (Begins walking down the center aisle, the tapping of his shoes echoing through the cart.) “One of you is keeping all of us here- one of you is solely to bme for this situation.”

  (The rotund man in the top hat began to sweat heavily from his brow.) ((For unreted reasons. He is not important, remember?))

  “Well, anyway, we don’t have time to sort you out!”

  “But never let it be said that I am not a gracious man. I will allow one opportunity to present yourself to me pffffftt-

  -and spare the innocent guests of this establishment any further torment.”

  (Deeply uncomfortable silence, passengers gncing at one another.)

  “No?” (Looks around the cart, briefly eyeing each and every passenger, one by one.) “Nobody?”

  “Listen, I can turn partially invisible- I can get behind him, but I gotta get through that door behind you first. You’re gonna distract him while I slip through.”

  “how will transparenc-“

  “Wrong partial! Just make him look away from the door for a second!” (Whisper shouting. Still.)

  “ok, h-“

  “Mm? You, boy, whatever are you loo-“ (The masked man is now talking to the boy.)

  “Figure it out! Do something loud!”

  The boy had received his orders.

  (Blink, blink)

  LOUD: Recent loud noises > Caged man – Dropped cups and ptes

  (Before another word is spoken, stands up, walks to nearby table, lifts half-full cup, chucks against wall. As it shatters, he stands in the middle of the aisle and stares the masked man down.)

  (Movements only slightly slowed by shock and confusion, quickly points wand at the boy, looking through mask with clear intent. Wand begins to glow.)

  “Remain still, boy. Don’t. Move. A muscle. What in the name of the abyss pos-“

  Sees that the girl is still below the table. He must not be done yet.

  SOMETHING: Recent things > . . . .Nothing useful.

  Older Things > . . . Something everyone does, something he hasn’t done in a while.

  “i need to piss!” (Uncharacteristically loud and firm.)

  “P-Pis- Pardon!?” (Physically recoiling.)

  “everyone does it! you does it! i need to do it!” (Semi-nostalgic recollection)

  “S-Such vulgarity-“ (Inexplicably sweating through mask.)

  (Quickly leaps out from under the table, behind the boy. The lower half of her body is completely invisible. Just her waist and below. Crouches and uses boy’s back as cover.)

  “Y-You! Crafty brat that you are, trying to distract me with such vulgar-“

  “Loud again!” (Even more whisper-y whisper shouting. Having faith in her partner, she runs for the door.)

  (A pte is thrown this time.)

  (A shot is fired from the wand.)

  A gray bolt of pure magical energy is expelled from the tip of the wand, flying quickly toward the boy.

  (Gasps)

  (Goes to dodge.)

  (Unnoticed, door behind the boy opens and quickly closes, as the top half of a girl quickly slides through.)

  (Is not good at dodging. Slips over own feet and falls in a very improbable way. In a feat of incredible gymnastics, he nds in such a way that his right arm and left leg are twisted around him, while his left arm and right leg are extended upwards. A menu has fallen atop his face.)

  (Bst collides with the boy’s hand and dangling fingers.)

  (Scream.)

  (Much of the boy’s left arm shatters and falls limp.)

  (Taken aback.) “..! Such technique...! You knew you had to take the blow, lest the shot pierced the thin walls of this cart, potentially endangering an innocent diner! But instead of just taking it, you intercepted the attack with the palm of your hand and outstretched your fingers at just the right time to disperse as much energy as possible into the surrounding air! All without taking your eyes away from that menu! I’ve underestimated you, boy, you are clearly no amateur!”

  (Silently contemptes the man’s words.)

  “i am reasonably certain that was pure chance.” (Concludes, untangling and waving his functional hand dismissively.)

  “Hah! I will not be fooled so easily, boy! That was no mere spell you just took! This wand may seem unassuming, but in truth this enchantment was pilfered from a long-forgotten tomb of the st prophets of Mych’ael Once Eld Forbidden! Though it can cast but one spell, it multiplies my magic power hundredfold! A lesser man’s arm would be shattered, and their mind wrought by searing pain from realms untold!”

  “oh.”

  The boy’s arm was definitely shattered. But that didn’t seem understood. It should be more apparent.

  (Blood spews forth from various points across his arm like geysers.)

  “WHAT-“

  Blood is everywhere. Tables, chairs, people, food, it’s just everywhere. The Bandit in the cage looks on with something akin to delight.

  “oh the pain. oof. it burns.” (Unconvincing.)

  (Screaming. Some ughing, but mostly screaming.)

  “and i still need to piss.”

  (Trembling.) “BY THE GODS- THIS- THIS IS SOME SORT OF DEVILISH TRICK! DAMN IT ALL, THE BOY’S AN ILLUSION! DAMN IT-“ (Raising hand as if preparing some kind of wrist-move.) “DAMN YOU ALL TO THE ABY-“

  “It’s not an ill- It’s real! Gods it’s so real!” (This particur passenger is covered in blood.)

  “You lie! Surely-“

  “Y-Your magic hit ‘em, didn’t it? I-It can’t be an illusion!” (This passenger is less covered in blood, but still soaked pretty good.)

  “I-It’s a particurly well-made illusion, then!” (Somehow, the man is visibly flustered.) “Though, there’s no way such a spell could have been cast without my seeing it...!” (Unseen, his eyes open wide.) “..! I see!”

  “i need to piss.” (Fully untangles self, and begins to stand up.)

  “…I was told you’d be disguised, but I’d never imagined you’d take the form of a mere boy! I’ll admit, you had me fooled and shocked to my very core! But therein lies your folly! Only someone like you could have pulled this off!”

  “like me?” (Tilts his head, very curiously. Still bleeding very much.)

  (Points at boy.) “INDEED, IT WAS YOU, BOY! YOU’RE THE BEARER OF THE KEY!”

  “am i?” (Skeptical.)

  “Quell this deception, we have no need for it. You’re coming with me, boy! You have no right to refuse, lest you wish to see this cart stained with bloo- W-Well, stained with innocent blood!”

  “okay.” (Just gd to be given some direction.)

  (The man chuckles darkly – this is just something the boy’s gonna have to get used to hearing.) “Good, good… Please, hurry along…”

  (Does.) (The other man in the top hat watches him walk down the aisle with an incredibly guilty look on his face – yet a look of relief as well. Again, unimportant.)

  The man lead the boy into the adjacent cart, through the door he’d only just kicked open.

  “Do close the door behind you. I’d hate to have any prying eyes...”

  (The boy goes to close the door, but it’s the kind that fps closed by itself. Confused.)

  (Just wanted to say something cool.)

  The door is retively unharmed, despite the bombastic nature of its earlier opening.

  (Follows the man through the small, dark pantry, and into the next cart.)

  The next cart was much like the one before it, save for the fact that each and every passenger had fallen unconscious at their seats. The body of a waiter y unceremoniously shoved under a table. A thin, pale green gas hovered just above the floor, and the lights were off. It was still bright through the windows, though.

  “You needn’t worry.” (About halfway through, turns and looks down at the boy, gesturing at the unconscious bodies.) “They’re merely asleep. They’ll live. Most of them will, anyway…”

  “okay.”

  (More dark chuckling.) “And before you get any ideas of escaping, know this: my men have this pce surrounded. I’ll admit that you had more guards than we had anticipated. Shame they’re all so poorly equipped. Or, perhaps ‘were’ is more apt, at this point…” (Even more dark chuckling.)

  (Head tilted up at the man.) “i do not know what you’re talking about.” (Suddenly remembers order) “are you distracted right now?”

  (Chuckling becomes mildly confused.) “Uh, pardon?”

  “i was told to distract you. i am unsure if i am doing it correctly.”

  “Wha..! Ah! You cad! Even at my mercy, your attempts at deception and trickery have yet to cease! But your strange speech will not confuse me, boy!”

  “i am wondering where hat is. i am concerned.”

  “Cease this!” (Points wand at boy’s head, finally.) “No one is coming to save you! My men are equipped with the highest quality weaponry- artifacts from beyond time! Our offensive abilities are unmatched! Hand over your key now, boy, lest you wish to receive another demonstration of our-“

  (Tilts head to the side, looking behind the man.) “oh. there she is.”

  “I am insulted, you expect me to fall for such a pedestrian tri-“

  (Steps to the side.)

  (Is impaled by a deadly sharp icicle.)

  (Covered in blood – Only her top half is visible.) “EHHHAAHEHA DIEDIEDIEDIE YOU STUPID HANDSOME BAG-HAVING STUPIDIEDIE-“ (Charging through the cart with the sharp end pointing outward. Does not stop once the man is impaled. Sprints through the pantry and into the cart where it all began, with the man in tow. Loses footing on a puddle of blood and pushes the man to the ground. Mercilessly, haphazardly and repeatedly stabbing into him with her icicle.)

  (Dies.)

  (Does a slight jog to catch up with the girl again. Stands behind her as she does her thing.)

  (…)

  “AH…AHAH! GIMMIE GIMMIE!” (Reaches excitedly for the magical yellow bag on the man’s pants.) “YESS! FINNALY, A MAGIC HOLDING BAG! AHHH MAN, I’VE WANTED ONE OF THESE SINCE FOREVER!”

  “She’s done it!” (Random dude calls out.)

  “We’re saved!” (Another.)

  “Thank heavens!” (Rotund top hat man. Unimportant.)

  (Evidently, the cart has collectively become desensitized to bloodshed very quickly.)

  “Three cheers for the adventurers!” (The jovial waitress from earlier inexplicably appears again, and shouts joyfully.)

  “Hurrah!” “Hurray!” “Third cheer!”

  “Aaaaah man, I can’t wait to use this!!!!” (Eagerly opening and closing the bag.) “I’ve got soooo many ideas fo-“

  (The bag turns to dust in her hands.)

  (Pain.)

  . . .

  “YOU STUPID GREEDY VINDICTIVE LITTLE PIECE OF STUPID SOUL-BINDING YOUR ITEMS HAVING STUPID FREAKING… ” (Rambles on like that for some time, continuing to stab the body.)

  (Still dead.)

  (Eventually, she tears his mask off and looks at his bare face.)

  (It’s handsome. She had been expecting this to be the kind of scenario where he was using magic to disguise himself, and that he was actually super ugly, but that was not the case. She is even more upset.)

  (Waits patiently for her to finish.)

  (Scene ends.)

  INTERIOR- Location Unknown. An impossibly dark space. A single beam of light of unknown origin shines like a spotlight upon a rge desk with several crystal balls, dispying various indiscernible scenes and locations.

  PRESENT- Cloaked, hooded figure with no discernible features looking down at the crystal balls, standing perfectly still. Another, simirly cloaked figure walks meekly behind him.

  TIME – Indeterminate.

  “B-Boss?” The non orb-watching robed one speaks, their moduted voice meek and frightened.

  “What is it?” The orb-watching robed one’s moduted voice is deep and intimidating.

  The meek one takes a moment to breathe. “Th-the attack on the Keybearer we were supposed to intercept- th-the one on that moving restaurant-“

  The orb one turns, ever so slightly. “Are you about to tell me we failed, initiate?”

  The meek one gulps dramatically. “N-No, honored superior! I-It’s just- Someone beat us to it!”

  “… Hmm?” Their voice is much deeper now. “How? There were to be no adventurers aboard.”

  “We-we must have missed one! O-Or-, uhm, well, s-some of the guards mentioned some kind of girl or an angel of death- J-Just appeared out of nowhere and cleaned house!”

  The orb one turns back to their original position, and lowers their head. “Hmmm… This is troubling, indeed… Keep tabs on this ‘angel.’ She may be instrumental in the com-“

  “Uhm, we can’t.”

  “…” Turns back slightly again. “What?”

  “W-We lost her. W-We have no idea who or where she is.”

  “…What?”

  “We lost her.”

  “… Are you kidding me?”

  “N-No.”

  “. . . Shit. Damn.”

  “S-Superior-“

  “Tell no one.”

  “S-Sup-!”

  “P-People like that don’t just disappear!” Their deep, staticky voice sounds ridiculous when stuttering. “Sh-She’ll probably be back again! Just act like it’s the first time you saw her!”

  “B-But shouldn’t you report this..?”

  “Are you kidding me?! Nono- That’s wayyyy too scary!”

  “H-“

  “J-Just! Get outta here! Pretend this never happened!”

  “But-“

  “GO!”

  The meek robed figured meekly scurried into the darkness once more.

  The less meek robed figure puts their hands on their head for a moment. A short while ter, they produce a carton of cigarettes from their sleeve.

  Yeah, it was the other top-hat guy. I was lying earlier, he's super imporI HATE YOU SO MUCH-

  (Muffled sounds of narrator violence.)