Situation Command Base- San Antonio

  General Warsheen was said to be unflappable. He had a lineage that lived, slept and ate war. Recent years hadn’t left much for him to do, so he was just coasting until retirement. Or at least he was until the Alamo incident. With an attack on home soil from what could only be extra terrestrials, a fire had been lit within the General. With precise steps he strode through the security checkpoints before crossing through into the inner perimeter that surrounded the pyramid.

  From what his experts said, the pyramid was a complete hodgepodge of cultural symbols. The general shape reflected those seen in Central and South America. The markings on the structure however were seemingly random and nonsensical. It was a mishmash of Egyptian, Mesopotamian, and Nubian interspersed with various religious markings from Buddhism, Judaism and Norse mythology. The various linguists translated what they could but they kept coming up with garbled and meaningless phrases. One part had been translated and deemed to be customer complaints regarding a particular copper merchant of dubious repute.

  Based on what he had been told it almost seemed like someone had put a bunch of Earth cultures into a melting pot and then ladled little bits of each over the surface of the pyramid. As his father would have said, it looked like a Hippy high on the devil's lettuce had tried to be a functioning member of society and failed.

  More concerning was the fact that the building seems to give off some kind of unusual radiation that their sensors had trouble picking up. The equipment would randomly spike for a brief second now and again, but no one could get a clear reading of what was going on. The Mayor was rightfully concerned, but so far nothing else had happened in the month after the structure appeared.

  The next step was determined to be sending in a recon team. They had pulled from local talent, snagging one of the servicemen who had been on the scene when the incident occurred. Colonel Matthews was a good soldier with a clean record. He didn’t have much to commend him but he had only been in the service for a couple of years. If anything went wrong then they didn’t lose much and if something went well, then hey they all got an award.

  The six member squad had been outfitted with the expectation they would be fighting in an enclosed space. Armor designed for mobility and short to mid range weaponry. One member of the squad had a Geiger Counter to take readings of the radiation as they ascended and entered. So far nothing had come out of the thing, so they had no idea what to expect. The team had been briefed and stood at parade rest as they waited for the General. As he appeared nearby they all snapped to attention and threw sharp salutes his way.

  General Warsheen gave them each a look over, nodding with approval. They were fine examples of the service men and women of this man’s army. He smiled, a cold bloodthirsty smile. “At ease, soldiers! You’ve all been briefed on what you need to do. Get in there, determine what’s inside, try to get some samples and then get out. This is a first recon not a strike force. Don’t try for glory, that can come later. You all have cameras reporting back what you see. If there is any writing try to get a good look in case it can shed light on where this thrice damned thing came from. Colonel, it’s up to you now. Godspeed soldiers.” The squad snapped another salute as they belted out a “Sir, yes, sir!”

  The General watched his troops march up the stairs to the entrance at the top. He approved of what he saw. They tested the steps ahead of them with a long pole, checking for traps. The nerds and geek squads had suggested it as though modern fantasy and video game logic would apply to real world situations. While he questioned the validity of that mindset, it was a sound precaution that cost little to implement. His gaze never waivered until the team reached the top and disappeared from sight.

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  He nodded to himself and headed in the direction of the coms control tent. Let's see what they were getting into.

  Dungeon Shop-Zef

  No one was coming. We had been sent to a barren wasteland or a ghost city. I was going to be stuck here with nothing to do for the rest of eternity. I had waited for the first twenty four hours for someone to show up. Eventually I had passed out at the counter, as in the event someone did show up I would be ready to make some sales and get back in the black. My deficit was really weighing down on me.

  Once it was clear no one was coming I decided to poke around in the interface. Through some dumb luck and a bit of trial and error I discovered I could access the interface from my workstation. There were a few differences but overall it was the same. I ended up settling on the name Conifer’s Curiosities and adding a slogan to go with it. All Your Dungeon Needs, Thank You Please. Yeah, I was not a poet. Still it kinda rhymed and sounded nice. I was able to manipulate the setting to have the shop name and slogan engrave itself into the glass just above my workstation. With some creative work arounds I eventually managed to even have the letters glow faintly. I was pretty proud of that. It had taken two days to figure that out.

  After a week I started to go stir crazy again and decided to try out various outfits that were available to me. I think I looked quite fetching in the Imperial Regalia set. According to the interface it gave some kind of bonus to Social and Command skills, but with no way to test it, who could say if that was true. That started a whole marathon of dress up. Farmer Zef, Guardsman Zef, Chef Zef, Inquisitor Zef, Cleric Zef and finally Spaceman Zef. The last one was apparently something from the locals, if they were even still around. It was a large full body suit with interlocking pieces that ended with a dome helmet with a glass face. It was cumbersome and unwieldy. I had no clue what it was meant for, but I loved how silly it looked. There was quite a bit of it I had no reference for, but I assumed those bits were optional.

  I have to admit I may have enjoyed it too much as my mind slowly wandered from reality. I started doing my own comedy routines in the suit, slaying my non existent audience with jokes and slapstick like you had never seen. I even won an award which I dedicated to the lovely ladies of the Big Blades guild. If something didn’t change soon I feared I would be tempted to try the Gender option in the Appearance settings. A slippery slope that option was. Truly, the boredom was driving me insane.

  It was days later as I was asleep, drooling inside my helmet, that something finally changed. I was awoken by the sound of something pounding against the glass in front of me. I may or may not have let out a high pitched shriek when it happened. Fearing that it was the Dungeon Master, there to ruin my storefront again, I quickly stood up blinking away my blurry vision.

  Thank the Gods, it wasn’t the Dungeon Master! In fact it looked like it might be my first customers! I was ready, I was prepared, I had waited long enough. I smiled as large as I could and broke out into my sales pitch.

  “Welcome to Conifer’s Curiosities! We have all your dungeon needs, thank you please. Take a look at my fine wares and tell me what you desire. I have swords, shields, armor and potions galore. Honored Customer, let this humble Zef know what he can do for you today. As a special, the first…” I counted the group. “Six customers get a free stamina potion with their purchase.”

  I looked over the group with their strange cloth armor dyed random shades of grey and black. They had serviceable helmets at least and the armor looked like it may have some kind of plates sewn into it. I didn’t recognize their weapons, as I assumed the oddly shaped black sticks they were holding were weapons, but they seemed like they knew what they were doing. I waited for them to respond, eagerly smiling.

  The one in front looked at the one behind them and received a shrug in response. The one I guessed was the leader mimed a hand sliding up in front of his face and pointed at my head. I blushed in embarrassment and lifted the glass plate. “Sorry, let me try that again.” I went back through my sales pitch with more confidence this time. There we go, now we’re talking. The leader just looked confused and started saying something. I quickly discovered we had a problem. I couldn’t understand what they were saying. That was impossible because the world only had one language. Clearly though, we did not speak the same language. Whelp…that is not going to make my job easy.