“Clothes shopping? I mean, I guess we can,” Maeori said, peering up briefly from the book she was reading before returning to it. She was leaning back in the chair with her feet propped up on the little table in my dormitory. “I’ll go with you. I don’t know if there’s much I’d be looking for personally… Though, I’ve been meaning to find a tailor to patch up my robe-thing. What are you after?” Aside from sitting up to take a few notes and turning pages I wasn’t sure how much she’d moved in the last few hours.

  “I-err, Glenn said he’d be willing to show me how to use a spear during our trip tomorrow… Apart from the disguise you bought me, I don’t really have much else beyond my habits and I-I think it’ll be easier to move around in something else.” I shifted on my bed. It was a simple, but uneasy, thing to ask. Maeori has done a lot for me so far. More than many others, but I’m still asking her for more.

  “It seems interesting, martial fighting that is. Do you like it?” Maeori never looked up from her book.

  “I… believe so? I-if you’d like you can join us. I don’t think Glenn would say no to letting you on our trip and I’m sure he’d show you as well.”

  “Thanks, but I’ll pass. I don’t think it makes much sense to split my focus and there’s no library in the woods. It’s interesting, but realistically a secondary or tertiary choice if wizardry wasn’t an option. Though, being a melee fighter of sorts seems more rewarding than other things.” Maeori briefly looked over to the shrine in my dormitory. “However, the potential of wizardry is far too great for me to want to bother with much else.”

  “Oh, alright…” I was hoping she would join us on this trip. Father had been growing rather cross as of late. I kept thinking about what Fionn told me when Maeori first arrived, about me leaving on one of the almsgiving journeys. I hadn’t thought about it before, but it was a tempting idea that was growing. More so on this trip than ever before. I won’t break my promise to Maeori. I wouldn’t leave her. “What ‘other things’ do you mean?”

  “Don’t take this the wrong way. It’s not a judgement or anything, but I can’t possibly imagine being a cleric. Seems too rigid and restrictive for my liking and not as based on your skill or effort you put in. You can’t shape or determine how you cast magic. I guess I only wanted to be restricted by myself and my own efforts, rather than anyone or anything else.”

  “I-it’s not about that. Don’t you want the gods’ blessings? Their affirmations that we’re following the right path to their salvation… To remind them we’re still worthy of being saved from the wicked gods, who want nothing more than to torture us in their hellish afterlife?”

  Maeori closed her book and looked at me. I felt the pity in her faint smile. “I suppose I don’t trust any ‘salvation’ I didn’t make.”

  “W-we’re only mortals, we’ll die and the gods will choose what happens to our souls... We can’t make a salvation; only pray that a righteous god claims us and blesses us with their eternal paradise.”

  “You can believe that, but assuming we make it to the end I want, I’ll offer you an invitation to my salvation. Who knows, maybe you’ll come around and accept the offer.” Maeori’s eyes moved to the window with a forlorn look. “We should probably start heading into town if you’re wanting to get a new outfit. There’s maybe a few hours of sunlight left.”

  “Why did a god choose you for a revelation,” I muttered quietly, thinking Maeori couldn’t hear. She was the most blasphemous person I’ve ever met. Yet, somehow she was so beloved by the gods that it was the only way that they would acknowledge me.

  “I’ve been asking myself that every day. Let’s get going! Daylight’s burning.” Maeori began to get up leaving her book on the table and headed to the door. “I’ll meet you in the usual spot when you’re ready alright?”

  “Yes, I’ll be there shortly.” I replied as she left, closing the door behind her. I began to change into the ‘disguise’. It was little more than layman's clothes that could be adjusted to look more like a habit if needed. Not that it would pass any real inspection. I wore it in ‘nun mode’ as Maeori called it as I left my room.

  I never expected Maeori to be so eager to take me up on the offer to use my room when she wanted. She’d complained to me about how crowded the church grounds were, so I offered it as a thank you for what she’d done for me. Maeori seemed to be in here more than I was these last few months. I couldn’t claim that I hated it. In a way we were both outcasting ourselves, but I didn’t know why she willingly put herself in that role.

  It was a little nerve wracking at first. Maeori would sit there reading and writing notes with books she’d sneak out of the archives. Her presence was faint, quiet, and unfamiliar. Over time, it somehow made the place feel a little more comfortable.

  It was a short trip to meet Maeori in the cellars of the dormitory. I removed the outer dress, guimpe, and veil from my ‘disguise’. Tucking them away between some crates. Maeori began to push another crate out of the way revealing a small hole. It was roughly dug out and barely big enough for us to crawl through.

  It was always a reminder of the first time we left to go into town. I had to serve penance for ‘unauthorized leave’. I hadn’t cared too much at the time. If anything I expected it. Maeori denied that she suffered any reprimands, but I’m sure she lied to me. Regardless, Maeori took it upon herself to find us a different way out that would be harder to notice our leaving.

  Maeori, as usual, went first. She strapped a knapsack she brought with her to her front before kneeling down. After arming herself with a dagger and a small rock, a small wisp of light began to glow from the hand holding the rock then she crawled in. I never understood that little ritual. The tunnel led to the catacombs beneath the city. Perhaps Maeori was strangely worried about undead even though there should be wards against them? We crawled through the small dark tunnel a little ways.

  It was always unnerving, especially the first time. The only light I had was what made it past Maeori. There were these deep hissing sounds that echoed through the hole. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Maeori stopped after a minute of crawling. The faint light I was following went out. A thud and a pained squeak came from in front of me. A faint glow reappeared right in time for me to barely avoid Maeori’s foot that kicked back. I began crawling backwards a bit to get out of the way. Shifting around in the cramped space, I found and freed my own dagger. Maeori grunted and started crawling forward. Something was scraping against the rock walls. I followed after. She moved at a slower pace. The ground was wet and smelled of iron as I moved forward.

  “D-do you need healing?”

  “Maybe in a moment,” Maeori replied. We traveled like this for another few moments. There was a thud followed by multiple hisses. I could hear Maeori take a deep breath before suddenly crawling quickly forwards.

  I crawled after, also trying to quicken the pace. Reaching the exit of the hole there were three dog-sized rat creatures with mole-like clawed hands and weird fleshy whiskered noses. One was dead and laid below the tunnel’s exit. Maeori held up her magic light above her head and pointed her dagger between them as they hissed at her.

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  “[Radiant Light].” I chanted. Hitting my mark it winced back as Maeori stabbed at one that threw itself at her. The blade didn’t sink deep while its teeth sunk slightly into her leather knapsack. I crawled out of the tunnel. The one Maeori stabbed was wailing around frantically before she kicked it off her dagger. It stumbled and hissed as another one charged after moving into Maeori’s blind spot. I stepped in with a lunge and stabbed it in the neck as it fell limp. The one I hit with my magic charged Maeori, she parried its claws with her dagger as the clash rang out with a strange almost metallic sound.

  “[Radiant Light].” I chanted again. Hearing my voice the creature began to scurry back avoiding the light erupting from where it was. It gave Maeori an opening though to slash with the dagger giving a shallow cut on the creature’s nose. It whimpered then hissed before scurrying away into the darkness. Its surviving friend followed behind.

  “Well, that was disgusting,” Maeori sighed, before kneeling down and began to cut off the two slain creature’s hands. “I was hoping they wouldn’t be back again.”

  “Again?”

  “Yea… how do you think I found this passage? We’ll be taking a pit stop at the guild, but hey at least our outing is paid for now.” She held up one of the hands she collected.

  “D-do you think a store would let us enter when we’re covered in blood?” I looked down, it wasn’t too visible, but I could feel some dampness from the creature’s blood I had to crawl through. Maeori, similarly, had blood mostly on her pants.

  “Hmm, let me try something.” The light Maeori conjured flicked off. There was a light tugging on my dress around where the blood was. When the light came back on there was some new blood splatter on the wall in front of me. While not completely gone, at least some of the blood was missing from my dress.

  “O-oh, when did you learn that?”

  “Eh, it’s a more targeted application of the same magic I’ve been using. Helps with control and whatnot.” She started walking down the passage we usually go down.

  We continued moving through the catacombs. Eventually reaching a small exit tunnel that led up to an alleyway near the outer wall. The path we followed went further, likely beyond the walls, but we were still a fair ways away from the market.

  “If anyone asks, we’re sellswords who’ve just cleared an infestation from someone’s basement,” Maeori told me as she opened the grate we exited into the alley.

  Of course we drew some eyes, though I couldn’t say I blamed anyone. Two bloodied and muddied people in peasant’s garb were sure to attract looks. Maeori made a show of the gathered clawed monster hands instead of keeping them hidden. She kept them swung over her left shoulder, while her knapsack hung on her right. Even as the claws continued to drip on her clothes. Whether assumed or questioned, Maeori's excuse got us far through the back alleys.

  “The market’s just around the corner,” Maeori said, setting her things down. She opened up her knapsack and pulled out the white robe I found her wearing. It was bloodstained, dirty, and torn. With little hesitation she started changing into it in the alley.

  “W-wait, what if someone sees?”

  “We walked half the city with me covered in blood and you’re worried about me flashing someone?” Maeori stopped, mid undressing, and looked curiously at me, like I was the strange one.

  “I don’t know what that means, but I don’t want anyone seeing you and thinking untoward things.”

  “I’ll be quick about it then.” She continued dressing.

  “T-that’s not what I…” I looked around for prying eyes. I knew well enough that she was too stubborn to listen.

  Eventually she finished and tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention. “You ready yet?” She asked, chuckling at my confused and mortified look.

  I hadn’t been to the Adventurer’s guild before, but it was underwhelming to put it lightly. From the stories Glenn told I thought it would be this large place filled with boisterous and rowdy folk, not a quiet and empty bar. We didn’t stick around long. Maeori exchanged the claws for a few coins and we were quickly on our way.

  The market was far more impressive. Colorful tents and stalls showing and selling textiles, jewels, spices, and other trinkets, from abroad and across the continent. It reminded me of when I worked at the church’s tradehouse. It was back when I still dreamed of adventuring with Glenn. Though, it lasted until I realized it upset my father too much. It was fun, but what we received was never quite as varied as this.

  I couldn’t resist browsing. One stall sold jewelry from the Frouria Dominion, one in particular caught my eye. It was a silver pendant emblazoned with bronze flames and a gold lightning bolt. The symbol of Lady Corlyn was beautifully made. I must’ve been looking at it for a while. I heard footsteps behind me. I hadn’t noticed that Maeori would stand back and watch as I went stall to stall.

  “How much for that one sir?” Maeori asked.

  “A gold and fifty silver.”

  She bit her lip for a moment before pulling out two gold coins from her bag. “Y-you needn’t.” I tried to say, but the deal was done as she passed me the necklace. “T-thank you,” I said looking at it in my hands. She probably paid more than she should’ve. She didn’t even bother trying to haggle.

  I continued looking at the stalls, but with less intent. Maeori didn’t seem very interested in browsing, but she didn’t say anything to me about it. I didn’t think it proper of me to waste her time. Though, it wasn’t until maybe an hour before the Haze when we ended up in a tailor's shop.

  ***

  The violet glow of the Haze lit our way as we snuck back into the catacombs. Maeori’s magic light led us back to the cathedral. My hands traced the symbol and metals of the pendant she bought me. I didn’t understand her. Surely this went beyond ‘using me’ right? She wasn’t compelled to. I didn’t force her. The clothes she also bought me were carried in her knapsack.

  “M-Maeori?” I wanted to know.

  “Hm?”

  “When you said you wanted to use me. What did you mean?”

  “Oh, ahh, you can forget that. Honestly, I was hoping you might’ve. That was a rather chaotic day. I said something maybe I shouldn’t have.” Maeori scratched the back of her neck. Never turning to face me she kept walking forward.

  “I-I guess I’m curious. Because you said it was ‘the honest answer’.”

  “If you really want to know I’ll tell you.” She stopped to face me this time.

  “P-please.”

  “It’s just a trend I’ve noticed with people. We’re all self interested after all. Everyone’s seeking to get something out of every interaction. Be it your skills or utility, your entertainment value, or simply to make themselves feel better. I simply see things for what they are. Not what people pretend or lie to themselves about.”

  “I-if everything’s self interested then what of tomorrow? We’re delivering alms. How is that self interested?”

  “Soft power.” She shrugged. “Do you think someone would be eager to leave the church, if it’s given either them or a family member goods or magical healing in their time of need? Or even their village or community? They’d question it, more likely to default back to the safe position of trusting the church over rejecting it. That’s a broad appeal for remarkably little expenditure.”

  “T-that doesn’t feel right.”

  “The truth rarely does. I mean, when you heal someone you feel a bit better from easing their suffering right? The want to help others really isn’t too different from the want to make yourself feel better. Plus, I’m sure plenty of people take it further. Seeing others as objects of pity to make their own lives seem less bad by comparison. It is what it is.” Maeori took a breath and resumed walking.

  “Do you really believe that?” I followed after.

  “It’s not about belief. It’s what I see.”

  “D-do you think people see me like that? An object of pity?” Was that a confession of her thoughts about me?

  “Probably Fionn, maybe Glenn.”

  “Oh, I didn’t know.”

  “It’s only a guess. You’ll need to decide that or not. You had a good time at the market, right? Let’s focus on that. I know my worldview’s rather pessimistic.” Maeori turned back to face me with an empty smile. This didn’t seem like a topic she liked too much.