“That was certainly impressive. You managed to destroy guild equipment, struggle against a starved-out goblin, and still have the gall to smile with confidence.”

  She sighed softly and grabbed a knife. “Usually your payment for surviving is the core, I’ll be taking that to pay for the damages.”

  I let out a long groan as she entered the cage. “Oh come on, I’m broke as is. Think of the children!” She squatted beside the goblin, spun the knife in her hand, and cut into its chest.

  “I do think of the children, like how they owe a debt for destroying guild property.” She cut away the goblins' flesh with precision. She then shoved a hand into its chest to retrieve a small black core. It was smooth and shiny.

  She turned to me. “Also, that fight was sloppy, correct me if I’m wrong but aren’t you nobles trained in combat?”

  I cleared my throat and put on my instructor voice.

  “You can’t exactly get into a sparring match with a goblin. The only reason we use hand-to-hand combat is that we both have magic. When your opponent doesn’t have magic it’s much easier to kill them with magic.”

  Kalie looked unimpressed.

  “And yet you still struggled,” She replied dryly.

  I stood there in silence.

  How exactly do I explain to this girl that I only struggled because I was holding back?

  It’s like calling a tank sloppy because it’s forced to attack a target with its machine gun instead of its main gun.

  Whatever, I guess my ego can take a hit.

  It’s not like she’s entirely wrong. I do eventually need to learn a little finesse for when I’m fighting regular humans.

  She stood up and pocketed the pouch in a leather sack on her hip. “Excuses aside, we can finalize your registration.” She headed back towards the stairs.

  I followed behind her.

  We emerged from the basement and rounded back to the counter. Kalie reached beneath it and pulled out a bronze tag.

  She held it up, “The first one is free. If you sell it, lose it, or break it, you pay for the replacement. If you ever want to change tiers or retire, you need to return it, understand?”

  I nodded.

  She placed the bronze tag in my hand. It was mostly smooth with a hole in the top and a small, embedded script on its side.

  Kalie gestured towards the three notice boards near the door, packed with mission posts.

  “You can accept any mission on your level with my approval. Once a mission is accepted it cannot be discarded. Should you accept a mission and flee, a bounty will be placed on you, understand?”

  This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

  I nodded again.

  Kalie sighed. “One more thing, since I know you’re a noble with little awareness I recommend you take guild maintenance jobs.”

  “Guild maintenance?”

  Kalie nodded.

  “They don’t pay well, but you won’t be killed for failing them either. It’s mostly cleaning toilets or feeding beasts in the basement.”

  I frowned, I was not going to waste my time being a glorified maintenance man. I have a mission. “Sorry, but my talent is better used on something that actually pays well.”

  Kalie scoffed. “Right, because the lost noble kid knows where everything is like the back of his hand. Forgive me for offering my advice.”

  I paused.

  Now that she mentioned it, I genuinely had no idea where anything was. But that’s easily fixable, “I’ll just buy a map.”

  “With what money, genius?”

  I gripped my pockets, empty. I knew they were empty but I grabbed them anyway.

  Maybe I was hoping for once in my miserable existence, I’d catch a break.

  I sighed deeply.

  No point in crying about it.

  I turned around to face Kalie. “Okay, so I’m broke and directionless. I’m also homeless, got a solution for that?”

  She crossed her arms. “If you complete a guild maintenance job, and you do it well, I’ll arrange for you a place to sleep. Deal?”

  I frowned. “You just want cheap labor.”

  Kalie looked unfazed. “What, have you lost your charming personality already?” She grinned.

  I raised a finger, then lowered it and looked away. “Do you promise?” I finally mumbled.

  She tilted her head. “Hm?”

  “Do you promise?” I repeated, “Do you promise to give me a place to sleep if I do a good job?”

  Kalie gave a firm nod. “I promise, my word is my bond.”

  My shoulders slumped. “Alright, give me a maintenance job.”

  Kalie pulled a small stack of papers from her desk and flipped through them. She then stopped on two sheets.

  “You have two missions for today. First, flush the toilet tube underneath the building. Usually, we use a crank and a lot of muscle but you can use magic.”

  She handed the first sheet to me.

  “Second, we have a few war hounds in the basement. They’re to be prepared for sale, which means cleaning out the pen, feeding them, and cleaning their fur. They’re tamed, so they shouldn’t bite.”

  She handed me the second page.

  I took it. “Shouldn’t or won’t? There’s a lot left to chance here.”

  Kalie rolled her eyes.

  “Shouldn’t, don’t do anything stupid and you’ll be fine. Just clean their fur, clean the cage, and feed them. It’s that simple.”

  I forced a tired laugh. “Right, so which do I do first?”

  “The toilets ideally, if you let them fill too high it becomes difficult to flush them out. Do it once now and again at the end of the day, then find me.”

  “And how much will I get for this?”

  “Six copper pieces. That’s enough for a high-quality map, a stay in a decent room, and a decent meal.”

  “How much will I have after paying for all that?”

  Kalie made a big, fat zero with her hand.

  I deflated like a balloon and dragged my feet towards the basement again. Kalie followed behind me. Presumably to show me what I’d be doing.

  She led me back downstairs. We headed left from the stairs and towards a pipe near the back wall.

  Several pipes ran from the ceiling, down the wall, and into one larger pipe that drained outside.

  There was a massive crack at the beginning of the pipe. There was also a large wooden rod that stuck out near the crank.

  I’m guessing what happened is that as you turned the crank the rod pushed the poop outside.

  I could just flood the system with water, the only problem I have is not getting poop water back on me.

  Kalie turned to me. “This is what you’ll be doing first, then when you finish…” She turned back and pointed towards six large pens across the room.

  In them, massive wolf-like creatures sat quietly. And when I say massive, I mean the size of horses.

  They just stood there, with their black fur and red eyes. What's even weirder is that they could easily escape. They just… didn’t.

  I swallowed.

  I turned back to face Kalie. “You sure they won’t eat me? Like really sure?”

  Kalie glanced down at me. “Have they bitten you yet?”

  “No?”

  “Exactly, they’re so quiet you didn’t even notice them when we first came down here. As I said before, don’t do anything stupid and you’ll be fine.”

  She gestured towards a vat of chopped heads and other meat.

  “You’ll feed them with the monster meat, just, don’t eat any of it yourself. The Ouro in them, it’s poisonous to humans.”

  I shrugged.

  I didn’t intend on eating monster meat anyway but okay.

  With that, Kalie turned back and went up the stairs. “Try not to flood the basement, Lafayette. That’ll cost you a lot more than six copper pieces.”

  After she left I turned back to face the poop pipe before me. She said I could flush it out but I’m not seeing any holes beyond the one the rod is sticking out of.

  I walked around to see that the rod was connected to the top. That top was held in place by four rollers which were also connected to the crank.

  Hm.

  I pulled back on the roller and it popped open. I did the same thing for the other three. Once they were all opened, I pulled back on the rod and boy…

  That was a mistake.

  The rod popped from the tube and the smell hit me like a truck. I gagged immediately, my eyes went wide as I stared at the caked shit that was packed into the tube.

  The dragon in my head laughed in a deep and rumbling sound.

  “What’s the matter, boy? Can’t handle a little excrement? A little dried feces and piss?! Hahahah!”

  I nearly threw up the stew I had this morning as I gripped onto the wall. I closed my eyes but the tears didn’t stop.

  It… it stinks!

  “It’s not so bad.” The dragon finally said as he calmed down. “It smells like discipline.”