The Spaghetti Code screamed.
It wasn't a biological scream. It was the sound of a thousand dial-up modems dying in unison, a screeching, static-filled roar that vibrated in Kai’s teeth.
"It sings the song of the Damned!" Gideon shouted over the noise. He charged forward, his sword glowing with holy light (which was actually just the reflection of the blinking server LEDs). "Have at thee, Tangled Beast!"
Gideon swung his greatsword. The blade bit deep into the mass of black cables, severing a dozen thick wires. Sparks flew like blood.
But before the severed wires even hit the ground, they twitched and reconnected. Two more black cables shot out from the wound, lashing at Gideon’s helmet.
CLANG.
Gideon was knocked backward, sliding across the polished metal floor.
"It heals!" Gideon gasped, struggling to his feet. "Every head I cut, two more take its place! It is a Hydra of Copper!"
"It’s an infinite loop!" Kai yelled, ducking behind a crate as a massive USB cable whipped over his head. It’s respawning faster than we can damage it. The code keeps recompiling.
"I do not understand your wizard words!" Pigglesworth shrieked. He was currently fencing with a thin ethernet cable that was trying to wrap around his ankle. "But I demand this creature unhand me! It is trying to... to plug into me! I am not compatible!"
The monster shifted. The central mass of wires rose higher, twisting around the black obsidian tower in the center of the room. Its red eyes flashed.
[BOSS PHASE 2: LOCKDOWN]
A klaxon alarm began to blare. WOOP. WOOP.
Suddenly, the walls of the room shuddered. The massive metal panels on the far side began to slide inward. The room was shrinking.
"The walls!" Pigglesworth pointed with his cane. "The dungeon is consuming itself!"
"It’s a garbage collection cycle," Kai muttered to himself, panic rising in his chest. "It’s trying to delete us by crushing us." He looked at the others. "The room is getting smaller! We need to move!"
The Spaghetti Code lashed out again, this time with hundreds of wires. They slammed into the floor, cracking the tiles. There was nowhere to run. The walls were closing in, the boss was invincible, and Gideon was trying to taunt a server rack.
"Kai!" Gideon shouted, deflecting a blow with his shield. "Summon a miracle! Open a path!"
Kai looked at the closing walls. He looked at the invincible knot of wires. He needed to get them out. He needed an exit strategy.
He raised his hand. He focused on the concept of getting away.
"System!" Kai screamed. "Spell: Mass Escape!"
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The air hummed. The blue text of the System appeared in front of his eyes.
[Processing Request...] [Autocorrect Active.] [Did you mean: 'Mass Ape'?]
"What? No!" Kai yelled.
[Confirmed. Casting: MASS APE.]
The ceiling of the server room groaned. The metal vents buckled downward. Bolts popped out like bullets.
"Take cover!" Kai tackled Pigglesworth.
CRASH.
The ceiling gave way. But it wasn't rocks that fell.
It was a fist. A fist the size of a small car.
Something massive, hairy, and distinctly pixelated slammed onto the metal catwalk, denting the steel floor. The impact sent a shockwave that knocked the Spaghetti Code’s wires backward.
Dust cleared. Standing in the center of the high-tech, futuristic server room was a twenty-foot-tall Gorilla.
It beat its chest with a sound like thunder. BOOM-BOOM-ROAR.
It was wearing a bright red necktie.
[SUMMONED UNIT: JUNGLE_TITAN_01] [Disposition: Confused]
The room went silent, except for the humming of the servers.
"By the Gods..." Gideon lowered his sword, staring up at the beast. "You have summoned a Titan of the Wilds!"
"It’s... a monkey," Pigglesworth whispered, horrified. "A giant, unwashed monkey. Kai, why is there a monkey?"
"It was a typo!" Kai shouted. "Run!"
The Ape looked around. It saw the flashing blue lights. It heard the whirring of the cooling fans. It saw the tangled mess of the Spaghetti Code.
The Ape did not like technology.
It let out a roar of primal frustration and grabbed the nearest server rack. With a heave of massive muscles, it ripped the heavy machine out of the floor—cables snapping and sparks showering down—and threw it across the room.
CRASH.
The server rack smashed into the Spaghetti Code, flattening a section of wires.
"He fights for us!" Gideon cheered. "Look! He wears the Red Cravat of Diplomacy! He is an ambassador from the Jungle Kingdom!"
"He’s destroying the infrastructure!" Kai yelled. "Stay out of his way!"
The Spaghetti Code shrieked. It lashed out at the new threat, wrapping thick black cables around the Ape’s arms.
The Ape didn't flinch. It bit through the cables. CRUNCH.
Then, the Ape looked down. It saw Pigglesworth.
Pigglesworth was wearing a bright purple coat. He was shiny. He was small.
To the Ape, Pigglesworth looked exactly like a toy.
The Ape reached down.
"Do not touch me!" Pigglesworth waved his cane. "I am a Viscount! I have rights! I—"
The massive hand scooped Pigglesworth up. The Ape held the screaming aristocrat gently in one fist, like a doll.
"Unhand him, Diplomat!" Gideon shouted, confused. "That is our abrasive companion!"
The Ape ignored Gideon. It looked at the central obsidian tower where the Spaghetti Code was coiled. To the Ape, the tower looked like a giant tree.
And Apes climb trees.
The Gorilla jumped, latching onto the side of the tower. It began to climb, carrying Pigglesworth toward the ceiling, swatting away the attacking wires of the Spaghetti Code with its free hand.
"He has taken the Lord!" Gideon gasped.
"He’s climbing the central pillar!" Kai realized. "He’s going for the main cables at the top!"
"My sticky shoe!" Pigglesworth’s voice drifted down from twenty feet up. "It is dripping on the beast! Help me!"
"Gideon!" Kai pointed at the climbing monster. "We have to follow it! If that Ape reaches the top, he’s going to rip the whole system down!"
"I shall assist the Diplomat!" Gideon declared.
He ran toward the tower, jumped, and stabbed his sword into the mass of cabling to pull himself up.
The walls were still closing in. The room was chaos. A giant pixelated ape was scaling a supercomputer while holding a nobleman….
"I hate this game," Kai muttered, and ran to catch up.
[System Notification: Autosave Complete.]

