The next week of nights in the garden with Diana was wonderful. She rarely spoke first, she evaded any questions about her power, and her teaching method was also a bit bizarre and circuitous, but when I asked about anything else she was nearly always forthright and direct with her answers.

  Sometimes, her answers were so direct as to be a bit hurtful. For instance, she told me that my father's short “lessons” seemed clearly designed to kill me. The thought had, of course, crossed my mind, and with the information I now had it seemed to be the only likely explanation, but she didn't couch it all, instead saying that I “need to hear it said plainly, without any room for misunderstanding.”

  After a few days, Diana started asking me more questions about myself. What things I liked, what my favorite color was, those sorts of questions. She made the funniest face when I told her that spiders were my favorite animal, because of their beautiful webs. After a long pause what came out wasn't outright disgust, but instead “What kind of spider, though? There's too many of them to just say they're all your favorite.”

  Her favorite color was blue. Her favorite animal was jackrabbits.

  ---

  “What does my favorite color being orange have to do with our magic lessons, anyways?” I asked. I was holding her hand again, lying down on the grass, and staring up at the stars. This position had grown rather familiar. Holding her hand didn't feel nearly as embarrassing, either.

  “I just wanted to know more about you. It seems that you might be becoming part of my family at some point.” Her hand trembled a bit as she said it.

  I grew a bit sick at the thought. She was, of course, referring to Adrian. With how much his eyes followed me, and with how much interest he was taking in my gift, the other adults were considering this all but a formal request for courtship. It was not going to be formal anytime soon. I would not be of age for such things until the spring, where my age would officially be recognized as seventeen, and I would enter adulthood.

  I would have been declared an adult this year, but my birthday was also in spring, shortly after Foundation Day, the date by which all citizens marked their legal birthday.

  Diana noticed my prolonged silence and her hand squeezed mine a bit. “Is that not the case?”

  “It… probably is. I don't have any other path out of this house. And, as you've said, it's not safe to be here until I figure out how to control my magic rather than holding it in.”

  She turned to look me in the eyes, but didn't say anything.

  “When are you going to tell me how to control it, anyways? I feel like I've come to understand how magic works a bit better, but you've yet to explain that.”

  I saw her eyes slowly examine my face. After a short while, she asked, “What do you want to do, when you're out of this house?”

  I grew a bit frustrated at this. She seemed to prefer teaching by asking questions, or by answering with indirect information so that I could figure things out myself, but I couldn't figure out why these sorts of questions about myself were relevant to what I had asked.

  “Does it matter? It's not my choice.”

  Her entire body turned to face mine, and she lifted her other hand to touch my face for a brief moment. Her fingers were cool, and frail, but my cheek felt burning warm for a long while after that.

  “It does. And it is. Always.”

  She stood up, then, and picked up her parasol to leave.

  “I'll be leaving in two days. Tomorrow night, I promise I'll teach you how to control your magic. But I’d like to enjoy this just a little longer.”

  ---

  “I’ve done some asking around, and remedial academy isn't going to be much like the real academy.”

  Erika was speaking quietly, so that the other maids cleaning up the room wouldn't hear us talking while she dressed me.

  “Noble ladies who haven't been properly educated growing up are sent to be taught by older noblewomen just enough household management skills to hopefully be marriageable. Most families end up sending them right before they're of age, and usually for the exact same reason you're going. So at least you might make some friends your age, no?”

  She tied the pale blue and silver ribbon I had picked out into my hair, fixing the loop right as she finished whispering.

  She took her post alongside the other maids once her tasks had been completed, and they collectively became part of the background of the room.

  A twinge of guilt stirred in my heart when I saw her face amongst theirs. I should be there, and she, here.

  I left my room. It was going to be my last day with Diana's family. I only needed to bear one more day with Agnes’ jealousy over Adrian, and with Adrian's unwanted interest.

  It also meant this would be the last day with Diana. My heart felt a deep, sinking feeling, like I was falling off the ladder again, and I briefly wondered if I was sick.

  But I didn't have time to be sick, so I pushed the feeling aside.

  —

  The sun was high in the sky, lunch was to be eaten in just a few more minutes, and Adrian had somehow convinced the families that he and William should spar in the training yard.

  While the Printemps were not short on wealth, they had little need for a private order of knights. Instead, they only hired guards when needed and relied on Father to protect the household. As such, the barracks were mainly used as a storage area for the guards’ things, and the training yard sat unused except for Hugo and William's private lessons.

  Adrian had joined them for their lessons all this week, and the boys had come together to ask the two Dukes to allow a friendly demonstration of their skills. Duke Hiems had, of course, seized the opportunity to show off his son's skills, and Father was looking for William to give him a reason to gloat over his rival.

  We were all sitting on the raised benches on the outside of the yard.

  Agnes was wearing yet another ridiculously over-decorated dress, covered in ribbons and flowers, and she looked too hot under the sun in spite of the cold autumn air.

  Hugo was excitedly explaining to Agnes the various blades and techniques that he had seen the two older boys use over the course of the week, guessing at which ones they might demonstrate today. “Of course, this is just a demonstration. Calling it a spar is just a bit of fun to give the ladies some stakes, yeah? Bet you were worried about your stupid Adrian getting roughed up.”

  Agnes didn't look like she cared one whit about whatever Hugo had to say.

  This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

  Father had just gotten Duke Hiems to agree to stop calling him Harry if William won. Duchess Hiems was smiling, coyly remarking that she refused to participate in the bet regardless of the outcome.

  William and Adrian were standing a few paces away from each other, holding practice blades. The edges were dull, and they were wearing helmets and partial armor over their upper body and thighs. So long as they both followed the rules there was very little actual threat of injury, and the victor was to be decided by a system of points based on where blades tapped or struck rather than anything that could be lastingly harmful to either party.

  Right before they started, I caught Adrian smirking at me. With a shudder, I hoped that I would never have to see him again after today.

  The demonstration began with a swift blow from William, lunging low and far forward to thrust with the full extension of his arm, aiming for a strike just above Adrian's knee. It seemed to be a move designed purely for sport, relying on the rules of their demonstration, rather than something that felt to me like it would be useful in a fight.

  Adrian, however, seemed to be playing the same game. He deliberately took the point from William, then brought his sword down like a hammer towards William's back several times, causing him to fall forward rather unceremoniously. Father was furious, but, for the first time in a long time, I heard William laugh, and as Adrian reached out his hand to help William stand up they said something to each other that I could not hear from our position on the sidelines.

  Their demonstration resumed, but this time it felt a lot more exciting. Blows were quick and decisive, conserving movement cautiously and striking at each other's mistakes. William's sword thrust and deflected like a snake, while Adrian's remained forceful and harsh. I got the sense that Adrian was used to heavier blades, since his blows seemed to fall flatter than he'd like with the thinner Printemps style practice blade. Their fight was actually starting to look like a lot of fun, and I wished that I could be out there with them.

  One of Adrian's hammerlike blows was met with a steadfast block from William, and suddenly a sharp snapping noise cracked through the air like a whip. I barely had time to hear a shrill ringing noise sail towards me, and reflexively closed my eyes.

  The ringing noise continued, just in front of my face, before it slowly stopped. I opened my eyes to see that a pale white hand had caught the broken end of Adrian's blade, which had been launched towards me after it had snapped from the stress of his assault.

  The pale hand dropped it unceremoniously, and suddenly I was surrounded by the Hiems family carefully inspecting me for injury as Hugo and Agnes leered from over their shoulders. “Are you alright, dear?” I heard Duchess Hiems say as she squeezed at my hands and looked me over for injury. “That shard nearly hit you.” Adrian, now also looking over his mother's shoulder, seemed vaguely disappointed.

  “I'm alright Duchess Hiems, Diana stopped the blade before it hit me.”

  There was a collective look of confusion from all present. “Who is Diana?”

  I turned to see Diana walking away, parasol in hand.

  ---

  The chilly autumn air seemed more cold than usual tonight, and I supposed that meant that winter was soon to arrive.

  Tomorrow morning, Diana and her family would be leaving the Printemps’ domain for the Dubois family domain, and a week after that I would be on my own carriage with Erika to remedial academy,

  But there was something far more pressing on my mind. For their entire visit, almost nobody had paid any mind to Diana. I had thought, perhaps, that she was in a similar situation to mine. However, the growing suspicion that something strange was happening had finally boiled over with the incident earlier that day. I needed to confront her about this.

  Diana was wearing a cream colored dress draped with a spiderweb-like pattern of silk thread and wearing an orange ribbon. She smiled at me as she approached, holding her parasol like usual. “I wore some things I thought you'd like. The spiderwebs feel like they look a bit sloppy, though. Sorry.”

  “Diana. What in the world was that this afternoon?”

  She frowned. “Ah… Right to the point, then?”

  “Diana, please.”

  “Sophia…”

  My heart skipped a beat when she said my name. I loved the way it sounded when she said it.

  “Diana, I really need to know. Duchess Hiems insisted on having a doctor check me for a head injury because she thought I was hallucinating. I had no idea what to tell her.”

  “Sophia, I promise I'll tell you. Tonight, even. But I think we should start with me teaching you how to control your magic, alright?”

  I sighed. I decided to let it go, hoping that this wasn't just another deflection.

  I held out my hand, almost by reflex, and she took it. Instead of lying us down on the grass, however, she grabbed my other hand and held both of them gently.

  “As we've discussed previously, you are nearly always in a state of refining magic. It's a stress response, likely built up because you were taught to store your magic by your Father. Your body was damaging itself, and so your healing magic was forced to remain active at all times to repair the damage it was doing to you. Since we've been spending each night having you relax, your body has had a week to adjust to the lowered storage and has likely also finally finished repairing itself.”

  She paused for a moment, waiting to see if I had any questions. I nodded. It all made sense.

  “Your magic is emotionally driven. All magic is, to some extent. You are constantly alert, constantly afraid of the next blow to hit. This constant alertness is also contributing.”

  She let her magic wash over me, and I felt my body begin to fade away as the rest of the world grew more and more around us. I once again marvelled at how beautiful the world seemed, especially now.

  “And perhaps most importantly: you are holding the triggering mental state for your magic at all times. Rather than being in control of it, you are letting it control you.”

  I nodded again. I didn't quite see how I could address this, since I still didn't know what desire or wish or mental state or whatever it was at the core of my magic could be.

  She took a deep breath, and I felt her hands trembling once again. Her eyes stared deep into mine, and I noticed that they seemed to be quivering just a bit. “Is she also nervous?”

  “Sophia. Close your eyes, and breathe. It's going to be okay.”

  I closed my eyes, and combined with her magic, her voice suddenly became my whole world.

  “I'm going to shut it all out for you. I need you to focus on this feeling, and hold that mental state.”

  I fell into a deep, dark nothingness, but instead of panicking, I felt… calm. Accepting. This void created by Diana's magic felt like freedom from pain and fear, rather than cold or empty. I realized that there was a certain part of me that was still anxious, waiting to be hurt, but with Diana's guidance I slowly felt myself allowing that part to be quiet, just for a moment.

  It was just for a moment, but I felt okay. I realized that I was no longer refining magic, and the brief joy of success made me suddenly anxious that I was going to fail to maintain it, but I held focus on the feeling, and on the absence of magic in my breath. Despite the feeling of anxiety slowly starting to return I kept my breath even and smooth, and the magic didn't start cycling again.

  “I'm sorry that I won't be able to help you practice like this after tonight. I'm sorry that this… is how it ends. I'll tell you about my magic, now.”

  As the world slowly started to fade back in around me, Diana's voice felt like it was growing quieter.

  “My magic is one that erases my presence from the world. It… ignores me. People ignore me, too. It's like I don't exist.”

  It was growing harder to focus on her words. The void of her magic was receding and the wind and bugs and the rustling of grass felt like it was a clamor compared to that calm emptiness.

  “Your magic was interpreting this as harm to you, I think. It was constantly fighting mine, forcing you to remain aware of me. Meaning, while you were using your magic, my magic couldn't erase your memory of me.”

  Her hands felt cold in mine, shaking with fear and gripping me tightly, but my hands felt numb, like I had taken an anesthetic, and her grip felt faint. I forced my eyes open, and saw that she was crying. She let go of my hands and took off her orange ribbon to tie it around my wrist.

  “I'm sorry for not telling you all this earlier, but I was afraid that if I told you, you would refuse to learn how to turn off your magic.”

  I could barely understand her now, she was so quiet.

  “I thought I'd long stopped caring about anything… but this still hurts. Thank you for being my friend, Sophia. The concept behind my magic is…”

  I reached out to grab onto her just as her body dissipated into a flurry of white flakes, melting away like snow in my hands.

  “Have you ever wondered if the world would be a better place if you were gone?”

  But I didn't know why I thought that. Or perhaps, had I heard it?

  I was standing in the garden, and I didn't know why. I shivered a bit, and rubbed my arms before turning to go inside.

  I felt, as I walked towards home, that I had lost something very, very important. But I couldn't remember what it was.