“Thirty-eight items in all,” the dwarf said, “each gray level but for the shrunken Skull. I have arranged them from least to most valuable and advised of a total price for each of these piles.”

  

  >> GOODS VALUATION: Trash Loot Items

  +| Sundry items of low value = 10 Belch Bucks

  +| Items with some story = 100 Belch Bucks

  +| Items with moderately interesting stories = 300 Belch Bucks

  “Four hundred ten Belch Bucks!” Coop blurted. “Are you mad? Most of this junk is teeth and old buttons!”

  The dwarf laughed. “As I said, the value of an item here at the Copper Eye Emporium relates more to its story than the simple material worth of the item. There is also a matter of demand, and although many of these items are of no value within the game itself, there are those outside who pay good coin for items that come directly from the contest.”

  [Nero] Ah, I begin to understand. You sell these items to collectors? Those who desire trinkets and memorabilia from the contest.

  “I do indeed. And not all who seek such memorabilia are wealthy. Some can only afford a small trinket like a button from the pockets of a dead hobgoblin or a tooth taken from one of Grinko Maas’s goons. This is why the story of each item is so important, because my customers enjoy that story as much as the item itself.”

  “But I thought you were against all this contest shit?” Sam said, moving back towards the table.

  The dwarf nodded. “With every fiber of my being. But it is, for better or worse, an integral part of life in the cosmos and, as I said earlier, the only source of entertainment for a great number of Dominion citizens. While I may not be able to unravel the contest itself, I can at least provide items of worth to those who would otherwise never be able to acquire such objects. I can spread a little joy among the misery that pervades the Dominion.”

  [Nero] Once more, I will remind you that the conversation has strayed into matters best avoided.

  “We get it. We get it,” Sam said, rolling her eyes. “Jesus, this is annoying. Can’t you just shut down for a few minutes while we talk, or just don’t tell the Mammon System that we’re chatting?”

  [Nero] That is not how the System works, Sam. It is part of my being, part of the matrices from which I was constructed. But it is also infused in your gauntlet and Pete’s. It is aware of everything you do and say, and that cannot be circumvented.

  Orin chuckled, looking down at the teddy bear he still held in one hand as though he had more to say on the subject but would hold his tongue for the moment.

  “Now, let us turn to the matter of this little beauty. Considering its provenance and likely age, I will offer 500 Belch Bucks.”

  Pete nodded, considering the dwarf for a moment. Even with one eye, Pete could see the avarice behind the dwarf's expression. He might not be as obsessed with money as everyone else in the Dominion, but Orin was clearly very keen on getting his hands on that teddy bear.

  Pete had seen that look a thousand times on Ollie’s face as they played Magic: The Gathering or various other games together. Typically, Ollie showed that expression when he had a move in mind but needed Pete to play certain cards in order for his plan to unfold. It was the same expression of bridled desire that Orin was demonstrating.

  He felt a stab of guilt at the memory and thought about his phone, which sat nestled in his pocket, deactivated by the System. Once he had enough money, he planned on unlocking the phone at least sufficiently to get access to his contacts and try to call Ollie. He tried his mother first, of course, but given the circumstances, Pete doubted she would be able to answer.

  “Two thousand Belch Bucks,” Pete said, staring right at the dwarf.

  [Sam] Damn, son. Are you trying to play hardball with this guy?

  [Pete] He really wants that teddy bear, so I figure why not get as much out of him as possible.

  [Sam] Tight.

  The dwarf narrowed his eye, lifting up the bear and turning it over in his hands once more.

  “The story is good with this one, but it is in a state of disrepair.”

  Pete shrugged. “I’m sure you’ve got some thread and a needle lying around here somewhere. There are definitely plenty of buttons.” He motioned to the pile sitting on the table in front of them. “You could fix it up.”

  If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

  Orin nodded, rubbing a thumb over one of the crude lines of stitching on the teddy bear’s left leg.

  “To do so would be to rid the object of its importance. My role in this is to pass objects of worth such as this from one hand to the next without leaving my own mark.”

  Pete couldn’t remember exactly where he’d seen it. It might have been while watching an online poker tournament or one of the many bartering-style reality TV shows he’d watched during his college years. Somewhere along the line, though, he’d picked up a thing or two about wheeling and dealing.

  The fact was, at the moment, the bear meant nothing to him, and any amount of money would be fine. For the dwarf, however, this was clearly the most valuable item in the pile and something he dearly wanted. That gave Pete all the power in the relationship, in this instance anyway. He wasn’t under any particular time pressure, other than the 47 hours they had to reach the novice arena. So, he could afford to wait and could hold his ground on price until Orin agreed to a figure that suited Pete.

  He’d already made up his mind that 1500 would be a good place to land, but the dwarf surprised him as he began chuckling.

  “Agreed,” he said with a nod. “450 in total for the various other items and 2000 for this object.”

  The moment he finished talking, a trade box appeared in front of Pete.

  

  >> TRADE OFFER TOTAL: 2450 Belch Bucks

  >> GRAY RARITY ITEMS:

  Buttons x 12

  Hobgoblin teeth x 4

  Goblin IOU Chit x 1

  Metal Studs x 15

  Hug Coupon x 1

  Pamphlet: Ten Things You Need to Know about Hoomans x 1

  Pouch of Toenail Clippings x 1

  Bone Die x 1

  Teddy Bear Named “Bobo” x 1

  >> GREEN RARITY ITEMS:

  Shrunken Goblin Skull x 1

  Pete smacked, realizing suddenly that he’d been played. Whatever the dwarf was going to be able to get for that bear, it was much more than the 2000 Belch Bucks he was willing to pay for it.

  “I keep the shrunken skull,” he said, staring directly at Orin. “Same price, but I keep the skull.”

  The dwarf stared at him for a moment, his good eye narrowed.

  [Coop] What are you doing? Just make the deal and let's get on with it. Also, ask him about the smokes.

  [Pete] I’m not asking about smokes, Coop. Give it a rest.

  “And some new clothes,” Pete pressed, pointing over at the barrel with the clothing spilling out of it. “Same price, but I get to keep the skull pendant, and I can dig through that barrel and take whatever I want from it.”

  The dwarf stared at Pete, his expression now unreadable.

  [Coop] Come on, man. At least ask him for some nicotine patches or something? I’m gagging over here.

  Pete rolled his eyes. “And, if there’s any kind of chewing tobacco or something like that. Nothing too strong, but…I guess something that would help someone who’s addicted to nicotine.”

  Orin raised an eyebrow at that, his expression softening a little.

  “Two thousand four hundred even,” he said, “and you can keep the skull pendant, take whatever rags you need from that barrel, and I’ll provide a small supply of Copper Chew.”

  The new offer amount appeared in front of Pete, and he immediately accepted.

  “Done!” he said.

  The dwarf clapped his hands together, managing to squirrel the teddy bear away into a pocket with practiced ease. “Splendid! Then the deal is done, and I wish you well until our next meeting.”

  Without being summoned, Che Che appeared from the rear of the tent holding a basket. He walked up to the table and started carefully placing the items into the basket, arranging them according to some specific order as Orin turned around and pulled a small square tin out of a wooden drawer behind him. He placed the object on the table and slid it across to Pete.

  “It is only a light stimulant but should be taken in moderation. Excess consumption can cause vivid hallucinations and great intestinal discomfort.” He looked over at Coop. “In truth, I’m unsure what effect it may have on your companion here.”

  “How do I smoke it?” Coop asked.

  The dwarf chuckled. “You do not smoke Copper Chew. As the name suggests, you chew it. Just a little at a time, mind you, and you will need to dispose of the Chew after a few hours. Do not swallow it, as this can cause intestinal discomfort and bloating, in addition to other, worse effects.”

  Coop practically jumped on the tin, but before she could grab it, Pete swiped it up and slipped it into his inventory.

  “What the hell?!” Coop barked, turning to face him, snarling.

  “We’ll sort it out once we’re done here,” he promised. “Hell, I don’t even know how this stuff is gonna work.”

  “You’ll need to stick it in my mouth,” Coop suggested.

  “I’m not sticking anything in your mouth, but we’ll figure it out once we’re done here.”

  He turned back to Orin. “Thanks for your help.”

  The dwarf nodded. “Of course. I’ll be here waiting the next time you wish to trade, Pete. Good day to you all, and may you live on to trade another day.”

  Sam shot him a salute, and Coop jumped off the table and followed Pete as he moved towards the wooden barrel with the clothes stuff inside. He spent the next few minutes pulling out items and eventually finding an outfit that worked: jeans, two t-shirts, two pairs of mismatched socks, a pair of gym shorts, and an unexpected bonus, a small backpack.

  “We should take this, right?” Pete asked.

  Sam nodded. “Might be a good idea. I know we’ve got inventories, but it might still come in handy.”

  Pete nodded. He was thinking the same thing. Given the current limits on his inventory, having another means of holding trash loot would come in handy, and that was becoming increasingly important given how much money they’d just gotten for what was effectively garbage.

  He took a moment to loop the Shrunken Goblin Skull Pendant around the base of his bow, reasoning that having it nearby might somehow imbue the arrows with a little more pep. He didn’t ask Nero about that, however, knowing on some level that it was just pointless superstition. Still, the little goblin skull weighed practically nothing, and the sight of it dangling from his bow made the weapon look all the more fearsome.

  “Badass,” Sam said with a grin, nodding towards the pendant as Pete slid the bow over his shoulder.

  He turned and thanked the dwarf once more, receiving a wave in response, then turned and headed towards the portal with Sam and Coop to either side. Pete took one more look at the strange desert landscape and then stepped through the portal into the realm beyond.

  The first thing he encountered on stepping back onto the intersection was a group of ten or so spear-wielding goblins sitting on the backs of boars and staring in confusion and anger. One of the goblins, with a large cowboy-style hat sitting far too high on his head, pointed a finger at Pete and the others.

  “Gibbil gaaak!” he shouted as the goblins charged.