The next day, after a hearty meal of more "crab" legs and bread, Mug and I were off. I figured we would take the path to the grove of silk willows first, then double back and go to the lake. Maybe there was some clue or puzzle we could piece together once we had seen both. Maybe we would just have to fight a bunch of giant spiders. In either case, the grove was closer, so it was first.

  The path through the forest was more muddy dirt. I added flat discs to the bottom of my standard four legs so that I wouldn’t sink as we walked. Mug followed along, humming tunelessly and wielding another Mug-sized glaive I had made for him before leaving. Even though it was early morning, the thick tangle of tree branches and webs let very little light in. The atmosphere was creepy, I’ll admit, but with my recent wins I was feeling very confident.

  Mug was too, for that matter. He was around five feet now, but he looked solid. His muscles flexed as he moved his arms, and I couldn’t help but notice a hint of tusks in his lower jaw that hadn’t been there before. I thought about what Void had told me of Mug’s abilities and had an idea.

  'Hey Mug, stick your hand inside me. I need to… you know what, no reason, just do it!' Mug saluted and placed his hand inside without question. I activated Appraisal 3 and heard Void’s cold voice in my head.

  APPRAISAL 3: CREATURE IDENTIFIED AS "MUG." SPECIES: ORC. LEVEL 7. HIGHEST STAT IS STRENGTH AT 15. Well, that was a shock even if it was expected. Mug was growing at an insane rate, doubling his stats from when we first met. I wondered if he would slow down any time soon—or would his growth speed up as we amassed more wins? Well, we would see at the end of this.

  'You know Mug, I haven’t asked, but like, where are you from? What’s your story, man? Surely you did something before becoming Edvald’s live-in punching bag.' Mug laughed his polite laugh, only a little deeper than it had been a few days prior.

  "I was only a punching bag for a few hours, Master Lugenhelm! It was my bones—they hurt too much to strike, even with gloves! But yes, you are right. I didn’t always live with Master Edvald." His eyes grew misty and got a faraway look that I wasn’t used to from Mug.

  "I don’t remember much, but Master Edvald tells me that my parents were the bad kind of goblins. Vicious, cruel, and selfish. They were attacking villages and terrorizing peasants when Edvald and his retinue were tasked to stop them. And he did! With great dignity and honor, he did!" He said this all like a memorized speech. It was amazing; Mug was speaking, but I could hear Edvald’s voice.

  "When Master Edvald and his party were tasked with punishing my parents and their gang, Master Edvald found me wrapped in a dirty blanket and stuffed in a fireplace. He took pity on me, a poor wretch that I am, and chose to save me from the life of crime and sin that had destroyed my parents! That was years ago, but since then he has done his best to train me to be a proper member of society! He even taught me to read! Well, a maid did, but he hired the maid, so it was like he did!"

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  Oof. That was a sad story. So, Edvald killed his parents then abducted and brainwashed Mug. There were a lot of people in Aeternia I wasn’t really a fan of, but Edvald was quickly rising to the number one position.

  'Mug, I’m not gonna sit here and pretend I know what your parents were like. Maybe they were as bad as Edvald says, or even worse. But I have to say: you really are a great guy, and you should give none of that credit to Edvald. You are a good...well, we'll go with goblin... and I'm sure that's because of who you are, not because some royal psycho made you swim with sharks or whatever. Seriously. In fact, I’m going to give you my first Lugenhelm order: from now on, you are NOT allowed to refer to him as Master Edvald. We’ll call him… Little Ed. Any sentence about Little Ed must start with the phrase, 'Little Ed is a weenie. Got it?' Mug had a conflicted look on his face. Deep down he must know that Edvald is indeed a weenie, but years of conditioning was hard to break overnight.

  "But Master Lugenhelm! Master Edva—I mean, Little Ed, who is a weenie, saved my life! He taught me the things that have let me assist you in your holy mission! Little Ed, who is a weenie, even gave me my first sawdust mattress two years ago! I could never besmirch his honor!" I grunted internally.

  'Mug, this is a divine Lugenhelm order. Little Ed is a weenie. Understood?' Mug sagged but nodded. Well, it was a start.

  We walked on for a while more; the path on the map had shown the grove as a few miles from Manor Pauvert, and the mud made for slow going. We were almost there when we heard a bloodcurdling scream. It was male and frightened, the sound you make right before your death. I was pretty sure Mug and I screamed the same way when facing the fume wyrm.

  'Come on Mug, hop in! Those are probably the guards Pauvert hired!' Mug jumped in, I Polymorphed to my new spider form, and we charged toward the sound of the scream.

  If I had time to think, I would have marveled at myself for running towards danger instead of away from it. In my last life, I could barely handle telephone calls; now I heard someone screaming and tried to get to them before it was too late. If I ever had a chance to be a human again, things were going to be different.

  We entered the grove of trees at a mad dash, sliding to a stop in the center. There were around fifty trees in an immediate circle, and even more beyond that. The willows were silver-barked and had the same blue webbing that we had seen in the trees covering them, as well as light grey and blue silk coming from their tops. Underneath our feet, a small stream babbled, with many pipes acting as irrigation branching out across the grove.

  On the opposite side of the grove were seven armored soldiers. At least, I think that’s what they were; six of them were completely wrapped in blue webbing, only the facemasks on their helmets visible. The last one was waving his sword desperately at a spider torso even bigger than the two we had fought on the road.

  "Get back, beast! Back! In the name of the king! In the name of…. AAAUGFGH!" His scream was cut short as two massive forelimbs shot out and snared him with web, pulling him under the torso and wrapping him almost instantly. Mug and I watched, shocked, as he was dumped back onto the dirt.

  The spider that had done this to him was obscured in webs and shadow; we couldn’t see its bestial head, only its massive limbs. Maybe if we had been able to, we wouldn't have been shocked by the husky, feminine, and infinitely seductive voice that floated towards us.

  "Oh my? A tiny goblin and a steel bucket with legs of my kin? Whatever could this be?" The figure stepped forward, revealing a spider body with a woman’s torso coming from where the head should be, dressed in shimmering blue robes.

  "Tell me, little ones, are you here to fight with me as well?"

  Well, I guess that’s what I get for thinking it would be simple.