“You know, I think I’m sick of how people get a bad impression of me. Ok, maybe it’s not that surprising, considering the circumstances, but come on! *sigh* Why is it, that no matter what I do to change their perception of me, I am always a… a… a hiltless blade, a gun with only a hair trigger? I can do no good in their eyes. My family, the Doctrine, the CCH – they all saw me as a monster, a freak on a leash. But no - I am a man. A man of my own will. And now that I am free from the Emperor, the chains I never saw around me have finally been released, I am now in the position to save the galaxy. To make it how it was meant to be from the start. I, Mikhail Olegovich, have found my purpose. I am alive. I am, for the first time in my existence, a weapon with purpose. Alright, that’s my daily limit of five minutes of introspection reached. Back to my regular bullshit. I’m glad you listen to me, Cassaria. I love our chats. Now, let’s see if we can’t get you wet? Recording end.” – Mikhail Olegovich, First Blade of the Ten-Triumphs, 2257. Leaked recording from personal audio diary onboard the Cambiar vessel Hammer of Victory. Believed to have been recorded shortly after the New Horizons incident. Keep an eye on him, Cerenth, things are moving too far too quickly.

  It was late in the morning as Elias strode through the halls of the residential dorms of Nucleus Two. The style of the area was thankfully a stark contrast to the blank, white halls of the rest of the facility and its meeting rooms. Either the Tylas or GaltCorp must have realised at some point that people didn’t live like lab rats. Passing through an interstitial mix of a lounge room and a lobby, Elias went through through the automatic doors that lead to the private rooms for the human staff of the wing. Though he had often lived in relatively privileged environments when not working, even he was surprised by the quality of the design of the living sector.

  Carpeted floors with warmly painted walls filled the corridor, dark wooden doors on either side of him as he walked. Instead of the chemofluorescent or incandescent lighting of the rest of Nucleus, lamps shining warm light hung above. Though the style did somewhat remind him of a certain hotel from an old proto-wave horror film, the break from harsh minimalism was nevertheless appreciated. As Elias arrived at Room 57, the only occupied room on that floor, he made the effort of ruffling his hair up before knocking on Kurt Howland’s door.

  The bodyguard had been working in a surveillance room for most of the time Elias had been working so far, checking to see if any intruders or spies had snuck in, as Kantor had apparently told Kurt to keep an eye out for the rest of the GaltCorp staff. Checking the cameras was the most efficient way to protect the other staff of Nucleus Two, considering how spread-out Bernard’s and Madison’s labs were from Elias’. However, today was officially set as a rest day by Rannos, after Madison fell asleep mid-conversation with him, and no lab work was to be carried out. Officially, that was. Elias and Chel-Lin had already started securely messaging one another through a handy app they had backdoored onto her strange comm-device equivalent with the help of a certain CAI.

  As such, Kurt was meant to ‘take a casual approach to protecting the client’, according to the contract on holidays. Elias instead took the liberty of interpreting that as getting Kurt to do something fun for a change. With hope in his heart, Elias wanted to drag his gruff suited gorilla of a guard to a recreation room for a chance at trying the latest version of Dance Dance Doctrine Revolution, or D3R, there. Partially, he was motivated by the desire to see how good the man was at dancing whilst wearing his formal uniform. Now that would be a fun sight. Whilst he did also want to ask Kurt about whether he knew anything about EXCAL or the CAI development program, as he had promised the artificial intelligence, helping his guard unwind was the priority. After a few firm knocks, Elias heard no response. Cautiously, he twisted the unlocked knob and gently pushed the door open.

  Inside, he found the dark room an absolute mess. Bedsheets strewn across the mattress, a pile of magazines spread across the floor, and a scattering of broken dishes laid next to the dining table were only some of the signs of the disaster that had apparently taken the room. Elias scratched his head as he entered, noting the dulled sound of the shower running in the attached bathroom. What on earth had happened? Had someone been looking for something in particular, or had Elias constant badgering finally driven Kurt over the edge? No matter what, Kurt or another staff member of Nucleus must have been involved; only they had the credentials to enter the facility without causing a stir.

  One area that lacked the chaos of the rest of the room was Kurt’s desk, with his portable computer and comm device untouched. Though his initial intentions were to see if Kurt had made any notes recently, particularly on how he viewed his newest VIP, banal curiosity won over social pragmatism as Elias instead checked the media player of the phone. No matter what had happened in his room to cause such as state, at least Kurt’s taste in music would be known. However, just as Elias’ thumb tapped the application, the door to the bathroom slid open. The hum of passive soundproofing dissipated as the sound of the shower echoed out.

  Instead of the expected sight of a bulky man, a rather feminine looking Cambiar wearing nothing stepped out of the bathroom and tilted her head at the sight of Elias. Though Cambiar in general had varied looks, the few that Elias had met had all been mostly similar to their ‘default’ caste of the Uvolo – pale skin, slightly shorter than the average man, and lacking in most facial expressions. The alien before him was a far cry from any Cambiar he had ever seen before. With midnight black skin, a tall physique and soft feminine features, she looked just as shocked to see Elias as he did her.

  “Uh…” Elias said with all the eloquence of a virtuoso.

  “Oh my, I didn’t expect Mr Howland to have any guests over!” the Cambiar said, spreading a toothy grin.

  It took all of Elias’ mental strength to not avert his eyes down to her large bare breasts. It appeared that the xeno was rather unfussed about the whole situation as she wandered over to the bed and dressed herself in a pile of discarded clothes. As she slipped one of Kurt’s shirts on, the oversized top hanging low and ran a claw through the mess of black tendrils at the back of her head, she turned to the bathroom.

  If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

  “See you around, Kurt,” she said gleefully. “Hit me up when you are free, big boy.”

  And with that, Kurt’s companion left. Huh. Well, that explained the mess. Moments later a, thankfully, towelled Kurt stepped out of the bathroom to gather one last look at the seductive alien before jumping in shock when he finally noticed Elias.

  “Wha- How the fu- Son of a-“ Kurt folded his arms and sighed. “You know what, I should have honestly expected something like this sooner.”

  “What can I say?” Elias shrugged. “The door was unlocked. And to be fair, this place did look like you had a struggle with someone.” He scratched his chin. “Well, I guess a struggle did happen. Kurt, you dog! I didn’t think you would be the type to drag an alien into bed.”

  “Yeah, well, don’t shout if from the rooftops,” Kurt said, looking about as if someone was actually nearby. That seemed unlikely, considering the emptiness of the wing as a whole. “She’s part of the cargo crew, but she probably shouldn’t be in here.”

  “Worry not my alien-fucker friend, I won’t tell a soul. For now.”

  Kurt grumbled and squinted his eyes. He took some clothes into the bathroom to get dressed.

  “So, I take it you stopped by for something other than researching my private sex life?” Kurt yelled from the next room over as Elias began searching through the room at random. Elias began to help himself to a soda on the desk.

  “I wanted to see if you were busy or not. Well, guess you were, in a way.”

  “Oh, har har. Laugh all you want, Savage – I’m pretty sure myself that you’re not far off from doing the same to your little lab partner.”

  Elias choked on the drink. Him with Chel-lin? Don’t be ridiculous! Elias figured she was more likely to kill him than bang him if he somehow managed to get her into bed. There was probably some Baraldian belief about sex being a holy act, but only with other Tylas. At least, it seemed like they fellated themselves in every other aspect of their society, why not copulation? Nonetheless, they were fully working together now – the idea of the two of them, alone, holding each other tight and close, was a dumb idea. Yeah, really dumb. Not good at all. Nuh huh.

  Finally, Kurt left the bathroom, still drying off his dark hair with the same towel, emblazoned with baby duck iconography. With a crack of his neck, he turned to his client.

  “So, what’s up?” He asked.

  Before Elias could answer, and as he leaned back towards the desk to hide the half empty can of Super Lemon he had been drinking behind him, he accidently thumbed Kurt’s comm device. The bodyguard froze in place, eyes wide as music began echoing from the tinny speakers of the machine. Elias looked down to see he had just continued the last song played.

  “? California girls, we're unforgettable

  Daisy Dukes, bikinis on top

  Sun-kissed skin so hot, we'll melt your popsicle

  Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ?“

  What.

  The sounds of the sugary sweet proto-wave bubble-gum pop echoed around the room as Elias stared down, utterly bewildered, at the screen. The song continued on as Elias broke into laughter. The image of Kurt, all six and a half foot of puissance and muscle of him, sitting in bed alone listening to that kind of music was the funniest idea he could think of. All of the possible genres of music for the beefcake of a man to listen to, he never expected that. He looked up to see Kurt closing the door to the room and walking towards him.

  “Holy shit, Kurt,” Elias said between peals of laughter. “That’s amazing! A guy like you listening to that! Of all the songs…” He trailed off as Kurt towered over him, expression blank. “Kurt?”

  “You heard it,” Kurt muttered. “You just had to listen to it. You know. And I can’t let anyone know.”

  “Uh, Kurt?”

  “No one can know. I’m sorry.”

  Kurt’s hands reached towards Elias’. Oh god, it wasn’t that big a deal, was it? Christ, how to defuse the situation? Uh, maybe if he admitted to his own joy of the genre?

  “Listen, it’s not that big a deal. Look, even I enjoy a bit of that stuff from time to time!”

  Kurt seemed unphased. His strong hands gripped either of Elias’ shoulders as the apparently dire consequences of the still playing music weighed down on him. Shit, shit!

  “Look, Kurt, I can keep quiet! No one has to know!” Elias pleaded.

  “No one?” Kurt had a glint of hope in his eyes.

  Yes! Yes! Elias would not die to the sound of Snoop Dogg talking about how much he loved Los Angeles and zucchinis!

  “Yes! It can be our shared secret!” Elias cried out.

  “How can I trust you? You must want something as appropriate leverage. What do you want in return?”

  Ah, fuck, anything aside from dying at that moment would have been nice?! Elias racked his mind for reasonable blackmail for the ‘crime’ of liking white girl music.

  “Well, uh, Kurt, in return for keeping this a secret to our graves, you need to look into the CAI development between GaltCorp and Tripwire, specifically into EXCAL’s history.”

  Kurt considered the option. For a moment, his hands almost motioned as if to move towards Elias’ neck, but then they drooped as he limply reached towards the comm device. Kurt paused the song. A soft smirk from the guard told Elias that he had been playing up his embarrassment, but the feeling of the large man pretending to consider choking him had been a little intimidating.

  “Fine. But if you even think of breathing a word of this…” the bodyguard warned.

  “Cross my heart and hope to die.”

  “If you tell anyone, you’ll regret it. I learnt a lot back on Titanlock. You’d be surprised how small a space a man can fit with enough force.”

  Elias nodded frantically as the bulky man released him and moved to sit on the bed. Near death experience for the day done, Elias breathed a sigh of relief.

  “So, we cool?” Elias asked.

  “Cool as ice. As long as-“

  “Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Elias waved a hand in nonchalance. “No one will ever know. Besides, it could be worse.”

  Kurt tilted his head, confused.

  “At least you don’t like those videos of women whispering roleplay shit into your ears, right?”

  Kurt howled with laughter. “Ha! ASMR? Fuck no! Guess I can say that, at least. Got Bessie if I need a booty call if I want that sort of stuff, anyways.”

  “Bessie?” Elias asked.

  “You saw her on the way out. What? Did you think I had another one?”

  “Based on how quickly attached I’ve heard Cambiar can get, I didn’t completely dismiss the idea,” Elias said.

  “Still, I guess if there’s one upside to this job, I’ll have her to look forward to at the end of all this shit,” Kurt had a self-assured look of satisfaction at the apparent thought of more Cambiar sex. “Gods, what a woman.”

  “See? There’s always a bright side to working with me! Guess you could say that you…” Elias prepared to do his best impression of the proto-wave singer that had been playing a few minutes prior. “ …know a place, where the grass is really greener! Warm, wet and wi-”

  Kurt lunged for him. Cackling, Elias was left rolling on the carpeted floor as his supposed ‘bodyguard’ pretended to throttle the life from him. Honestly, coming to Nucleus was the best thing Elias had done with his life so far. He was working on projects that would potentially tie two foreign superpowers together, was finally able to get into whatever that laid inside the S-Drive, played strip poker, and was likely moments from needing to make a blood pact over keeping a friend’s secret love of girly pop music safe.

  Goddamn California Girls really were unforgettable.