Sixteen A: A Dance of Disappointment

  "Again."

  It was not a request, not a command, not a suggestion, nor even an order. That one word was totality, fact written upon existence that could not be denied, not in body and certainly not in thought.

  The Pearl known as Sixteen A flinched as her Caretaker spoke writ upon the universe with a single utterance and a disdainful stare. Nachre Three stood upon her small dais that overlooked the Batch of Pearls she was training, cold eyes disinterestedly watching them all dance.

  It was a recent change, that look, and one that terrified Batch Sixteen.

  They resumed their dance lessons, moving with exacting rhythm and the dexterous grace that Nachre Three expected of them… or at least they tried.

  Sixteen D, a mocha colored pearl with fluffy hair that oftened argued with Sixteen A, missed a beat. A small mistake that caused her to lose synchrony with the rest of them, and that single misstep caused Sixteen J's eyes to linger long enough to have her shoulder bump Sixteen E's outstretched hand.

  Sixteen A and the rest kept dancing despite three of them now out of order, but every single one of them knew what was about to happen.

  Nachre Three raised a hand elegantly and snapped her fingers, the sound echoing throughout the training chamber.

  At once all the Pearls stopped their dance and fell into their specific standby stance for awaiting orders from a superior Gem who had just commanded them to stop due to a fault or error having occurred (type six, pattern four). Twenty five Pearl's formed a single line of bodies as Nachre Three stepped down from her dais.

  Her gaze fell upon Sixteen A as the first in the line, and that pressure had tears threatening to spill out and the desire to grovel at the feet of her Caretaker while asking for forgiveness. However, a Pearl did not grovel, did not beg, and did not ask for forgiveness. That wasn't something Pearls did, because that implied they had made mistakes.

  Nachre Three's eyes left Sixteen A without a word as her Caretaker walked down the line of Pearls before she passed by Sixteen D. "Step forward."

  Sixteen D's expression was a smile and loyal, but the tremble in her hands and the arching of her shoulders quite literally screamed in the unspoken language of the Pearls 'I'm scared, what do I do, please not again!'.

  It was a plea that every other Pearl heard as Nachre Three's hand fell on top of Sixteen D's shoulder, sharp fingers digging into her body that had Sixteen D cry out in anguish. "Your steps were off angle by three degrees on section three and your spin lasted too long on section six. Do not repeat these mistakes."

  Nachre Three released her grip of Sixteen D's shoulder, and Sixteen A couldn't hold back her terrified flinch at seeing jagged holes Sixteen D's lightform! Yet, their cold hearted Caretaker marched further down the line before stopping in front of Sixteen J. "Step forward."

  Sixteen A averted her gaze as a similar scene repeated itself, but it was just another training routine for Batch Sixteen. Nothing out of the ordinary, not the mistakes, not the punishments, except for a single fact that had changed everything.

  Veridian, the Pearl also known as Sixteen B, had vanished.

  Their example of perfection, the Pearl who Sixteen A and so many others looked to in order to learn how to perform their duties perfectly, or at least well enough that Nachre Three didn't physically punish them to the point where their lightforms began the first stages of destabilizing.

  It had happened… seventeen training sessions ago or so, Veridian, the actually perfect example of a Pearl for Sixteen A had never witnessed her failing a single time, had performed everything from song to dance to grace and posture training perfectly upon her first try, was gone.

  And Nachre Three's mood had soured entirely whenever she trained Batch Sixteen. At least before, her Caretaker had taken time to correct their mistakes and was slower to punish them, or told them to follow Sixteen B's example of perfection.

  Nachre Three had, at least, smiled in their presence.

  "Return to your chamber, I have actual business to attend to," said Nachre Three with clear dismissal.

  The Pearls of Batch Sixteen responded in unison, "Yes, my Caretaker!"

  They formed their line with Sixteen A at the head and walked with trained grace and elegance back to their rest chamber, all piling in and then shutting the door to secure them from the outside world, or at the very least, from their Caretaker.

  Almost immediately Sixteen C, V, and J fell upon D in a form of solidarity. They were, however undeservedly, recognized by Sixteen B. Ever since their flawless Batchmate's disappearance however, their group was now the most often to cause mistakes or mishaps.

  Losing Sixteen B, Veridian, as a role model had crushed them the most, but it had impacted their entire Batch.

  'Are you okay?'

  "Cheer up!'

  'Today wasn't that bad.'

  'Not even sent to Corrections.'

  'I miss Veridian.'

  'She's dead.'

  While they spoke aloud often enough, times like this where they were sent back from training due Nachre Three's disappointed dismissal the room was silent and loud with their Pearl Language, a silent body language that was as easy as speaking aloud.

  Except every other Pearl froze and stared at Sixteen A.

  "She's not dead," said Sixteen D who was clutching her damaged shoulder. Lightform bodies repaired over time as their real bodies were their gems, so she would be back in top shape by their next training session.

  "She can't be," said Sixteen E who had narrowly escaped punishment and only got a slight warning on paying attention to those around her.

  "But she's gone!" said Sixteen A as the tears finally spilled out. "And Nachre Three hates us. We aren't good enough, not like Veridian was."

  "Maybe she got reassigned?" offered Sixteen J, but nobody took her seriously. She had been strange since she got Rejuvenated, and a clear example of what happens when Nachre Three no longer corrected your mistakes, punishment or not.

  Sixteen M, a dusky yellow Pearl with her gem set in her collarbone, grimaced. "If even Veridian could be… could be reprocessed, what hope do we all have? I still struggle on singing and posture stance timing, and Sixteen E forgot her entire story recital, so what could Veridian have done to have Nachre Three destroy her?"

  "I didn't forget, I just couldn't think of which story would impress our Caretaker the most," argued Sixteen E.

  "...I don't know," said Sixteen A, and that sentiment was clearly shared amongst their entire Batch. If the flawless, perfect Veridian, Nachre Three's favorite pearl, could be Harvested for failure, just what was that failure?

  Nobody could even guess, for even trying to escape only resulted in Rejuvenation.

  It didn't stop them from speculating, however, and the grimness of the subject had them wary of what mistakes or failures to not do.

  — — — — —

  Time passed, a lot of it. Training was as difficult as ever as they began more complex topics such as basic political arrangements. Oh, not the politics themselves, but how to conduct themselves or serve their owners within political meetings. What gems required what level of subservience and the common ways to appease or delight said gems for their owner.

  But said training had become… delayed? Sixteen A hadn't the word for it, but ever since Veridian had disappeared, their training sessions slowly grew more sparse until they actually spent more time in their group rest chambers than they did training halls by a large factor!

  So, being Pearls who were afraid that the lack of training would end up with their gems shattered and harvested as their owners became dissatisfied with their expertise, they tried to train amongst themselves. Share the knowledge, tips, and tricks they had learned, or revisit old lessons.

  Sixteen A was the best at vocal attuning, how to best make her voice pleasing and enjoyable to hear amongst a wide set of ranges. It did help with her singing, but only in the sense of the variety of styles she should sing. Sixteen D was actually the best of their Batch at singing, while Sixteen M was the best at dancing.

  Any Pearl that was the collectively agreed 'best' at something was the one to help coach each other. It was strange, that before they would bicker and fight constantly, try to one-up each other to seek Nachre Three's approval, but not just their Caretaker's, but also Sixteen B's approval.

  …The loss of Sixteen B, Veridian, had devastated their Batch. Their Caretaker's decreasing care to schedule their training, and half the time she didn't even show up, simply gave them orders via hologram or a recording.

  Yes, they still fought and bickered amongst each other, but they always tried to pick up one another so that they never had to experience another Pearl possibly disappearing in the way Veridian had.

  They all still agreed that however skilled a Pearl might be at a skill, they still never matched up to Veridian.

  But they tried, if only for themselves and that maybe, maybe, their Caretaker would look upon them once again with a smile, to say words of encouragement or praise which none of Batch Sixteen had heard in…. Well, since Veridian had vanished.

  Time passed, and passed, before the day of graduation arrived.

  The day in which they would finally meet their owners, finally leave the Reef, and be a true Pearl.

  They had all lined up, from A to Z, however there was a hole that they refused to fill, no matter what the Caretakers thought. A small, tiny act of… something amongst Batch Sixteen, and none of the overseeing Nachres commented on it.

  No matter what had happened, Sixteen B had been the best of them, the Pearl of perfection amongst Batch Sixteen, and she deserved to be here when they all became true Pearls for their owners, even if only in absence.

  Except… as Sixteen A stood there amongst her Batchmates in the huge spaceship hangar, the row of colorful Pearls awaiting their respective owner's arrival, they all noticed a particular green Pearl approaching alongside Nachre Three.

  How?

  Why?

  Veridian took her spot between Sixteen A and Sixteen C.

  'You're alive.' A simple twitch of Sixteen A's fingers, with just the right amount of speed to indicate a statement and not a question, because it was not a question of Batch Sixteen's greatest Pearl returning to them.

  Veridian dipped her head a miniscule amount. 'Yes.'

  If… if Veridian had been alive this whole time, if Nachre Three walking alongside her had told Sixteen A anything, it was that… They had been abandoned. Not wholly, but Nachre Three had given up on all of Batch Sixteen save one, relinquished time to train a Batch in order to polish Veridian to perfection

  It hurt, knowing that she would never reach such grace and flawless skill that Veridian would exemplify. Not because Sixteen A wasn't good enough, she knew that Veridian was simply better than her in literally every way, that was a fact of life, but because their Caretaker hadn't cared enough to try and let her become the flawless Pearl Sixteen A wanted to be.

  The ships arrived carrying their new owners, and Sixteen A had the privilege to be the first.

  Nachre Three had given some speech about how they had been taught and trained, but a small part of Sixteen A's mind was terrified because they hadn't. Not to any level of which they wanted to be!

  But they were trained enough to not let any worry show on their faces as the first ship descended. Their owners descended from their ships that parked in the hangar and formed their own line up mirroring Batch Sixteen.

  Nachre One, the lead Caretaker, announced, "Presenting Pearl Sixteen A, to be transferred to the immediate and indefinite ownership of the honorable Sodalite, facet 3U9R, cut 6XP."

  Her new owner was as large as Nachre Three, but bulkier with a lightform of a rich, dark blue and a single eye settled in a bored, condescending gaze that watched Sixteen A step forward and bow.

  "It is my pleasure and honor to serve you, my Sodalite."

  Her Sodalite accepted her greeting with a disdainful sniff, but still beckoned Sixteen A to her side! She was overjoyed that her new owner at least acknowledged her enough to let her stand beside her, two steps behind, just enough that it was showing subservience but also off to the side where a turn of the head could place Sixteen A within her owner's sight.

  The proceedings continued with Veridian's being the strangest as Nachre Three interrupted Nachre One's procession, but that was expected by the Pearls of Batch Sixteen. Crazy as it was for their Caretaker to break protocol, it was also expected because of how perfect Veridian was and how devoted to her upbringing Nachre Three was.

  No other Pearl got similar treatment once Viridian was taken by her Emerald and they left the proceedings early.

  Sixteen A and her Sodalite stayed for the entire thing, with her Sodalite watching banefully as the other gems received their Pearls. "It's pathetic as to what types of gems are allowed to own a Pearl nowadays."

  This was not a question or statement she should comment on, so Sixteen A stayed silent.

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  Her Sodalite's frown turned to a grimace for a second as they watched Sixteen M get taken. "An Onyx? They're barely worth an Agate's status. What is this Era coming to."

  Sixteen A still stayed silent.

  All the way until Sixteen Z was received, they watched and when it was over, Sodalite turned and returned to her ship. It took a moment for Sixteen A to realize they were leaving without her Sodalite giving a single word to any of the Nachre's, but she hurried along to keep up with her Sodalite.

  The difference in stride where Sixteen A had to step three times, all while maintaining the subdued, yet proud posture of an attendant (type eleven, pattern three), to each of Sodalite's single steps.

  Finally, finally, Sixteen A could be a true Pearl. She would miss her Batchmates, and the relief of knowing that Veridian wasn't shattered and harvested for some imagined failure kept her hopeful. Of what, she wasn't sure, but she would strive to be the best Pearl that her Sodalite had and would ever own.

  — — — — —

  "Dance with me," stated her Sodalite.

  It had been roughly eleven imperial cycles, or days measured according to Homeworld's calendar, since she had been officially owned by her Sodalite, and Sixteen A had plenty of opportunities to display her abilities as a Pearl.

  …Yet, her Sodalite was dissatisfied with each one of them. Sixteen A's songs brought no smile to her Sodalite's face, her stories and jokes she told, as per the Reef's training that were acceptable to tell a Sodalite or gem of her owner's status, brought no laughs, and her service in any menial task brought no comfort.

  But her dancing, arguably the skill she was least talented in, was what her Sodalite focused on.

  Not dances for amusement or joy or entertainment, not for spectacle or rhythm, but… Sixteen A didn't know, actually, why her Sodalite focused on it. And Sixteen A didn't understand why her Sodalite wished to join her in dancing.

  It was so irregular and frightening, being in close contact with a gem of her Sodalite's status, that the very thought of making a mistake during a dance filled Sixteen A with such fear that she thought her lightform was having a hysteric reaction. Those large, thick hands grasping her own so tightly, that singular baleful eye gazing down on Sixteen A as her Sodalite guided her through a dance Sixteen A did not know.

  Because for all that she and her Batchmates trained, they never had a class where a Pearl danced with a partner. It simply wasn't done. Her Sodalite knew that too, which was why they were dancing in her Sodalite's private chamber upon the orbiting station above Homeworld. No other gems to witness it, nobody except Sixteen A and her Sodalite.

  And it was the only thing they did, every day, after her Sodalite returned from her work, whatever it may be. Sixteen A thought that, as her Sodalite's personal Pearl, she would accompany her wherever she went, and at first this was true.

  Except, as those initial days passed, she found herself awaiting her Sodalite inside her private chambers more and more until the eighth cycle. Her Sodalite had gazed down upon her, snorted, and said, "No, you're staying here from now on."

  "B-But, my Sodalite, I am—"

  "My Pearl, yes, and I said, stay here."

  That was the end of that. Sixteen A stood in the passive standby stance that told onlookers she was following orders (type seven pattern five). Until her Sodalite returned and demanded they dance. Not 'her', but 'they'.

  Leading to the situation now, where her Sodalite was guiding her in an unknown dance. Despite coming to understand that her Sodalite was proud, noble, and a pristine example of her gem caste, and fully aware of her own status as a Pearl, Sixteen A didn't understand and didn't have the training to understand why.

  Big, strong hands were squeezing Sixteen A's hands as the pace picked up, and there was something in her Sodalite's baleful gaze, something searching and expectant, that when Sixteen A failed at whatever it was, those hands crushed her thin, fragile Pearl hands.

  Sixteen A bit back a scream, but it was so similar to another familiar hand, except so different. Not a sharp claw that dug in, but instead a thick palm of rigid strength. It was not what she imagined the kind of brutish power a Quartz could put out, but any regal gem had something more than Sixteen A, of a fragile Pearl.

  Sodalite dropped her to the ground, and it was with a burning shame that Sixteen A had to scramble to stand up, although with her mangled hands she couldn't hold them correctly according to her trained forms. Sodalite sniffed haughtily, "So weak, are you Pearls really even a Gem?"

  Sixteen A had no idea how to properly respond to that line of inquiry, so while the tears beaded traitorously in her eyes, she said, "I am your Pearl, my Sodalite."

  Sodalite smirked. "So you are."

  — — — — —

  Cycles passed, over and over and over, and Sixteen A's world was confined to the single private chamber of her Sodalite. She had long explored every nook and cranny of the singular room, documented every item within its walls, measured everything from dimensions to weight, and did her best to keep busy in any manner that would benefit her Sodalite.

  Not that her Sodalite cared for anything but dances.

  Dances that her Sodalite grew more and more furious at.

  The routine, and it was routine, made Sixteen A wonder what her training and purpose was. She wanted to be of more use to her Sodalite, but was this all she was worth? It wasn't even dancing…

  Her Sodalite opened her private chamber's doors and slammed them shut in an upset rage that Sixteen A had never seen before. "Pearl!"

  Sixteen A jumped as she hurried to attention, and as she was in the middle of performing her trained greeting and bow to her Sodalite, she was grabbed. Those large, thick hands forced themselves onto her own, and Sixteen A was thrown into a dance.

  But it wasn't a dance at all, not a trace of beauty or elegance in it, as Sodalite crushed Sixteen A's feet under her own, snapped Sixteen A's arms with brute twists, shattered her fingers, and finally spun her so hard that with all the blinding pain and her own lightform shuddering and threatening to destabilize, she couldn't stop herself and smashed into the decorated stone bedframe.

  Sixteen A poofed for the first time in her life.

  The experience… she could replay it vividly while she was solely her gem, and such was her terror at the disappointment of her Sodalite that Sixteen A focused the entirety of her mind to reforming her body as soon as possible.

  When she did, the first thing she saw was her Sodalite sitting on the edge of her bed, fingers linked together, and that large singular eye gazing at Sixteen A with disappointment. The same look that Nachre Three had given all of Batch Sixteen before their trainings began to wane.

  "Why are you so useless?" asked her Sodalite.

  Tears came forth unbidden as her worst nightmare manifested: that her owner found her not just wanting, but found nothing of worth in her. "M-My So-Sodalite, p-please—"

  "Useless," stated her Sodalite again. "Are Pearls not real gems? Dancing is how it works, right?"

  Sixteen A couldn't understand what her Sodalite was talking about, so she tried and failed to maintain a stance of awaiting orders (no type or pattern because Sixteen A's mind was scattered and the sharp memory of pain was still so very fresh).

  Sodalite set her face in a determined grimace. "Again."

  Sixteen A's crying hitched as her Sodalite uttered the unquestionable, unforgiving word.

  "We dance again, until we get it right. Maybe… maybe we need to be closer," said Sodalite with distaste. "Pearl, you're to accompany me from now on."

  A small flame of hope burst into Sixteen A's gem. "M-My Sodalite?"

  Her Sodalite got up and stepped forward, that large hand grasping one of her own. "By my side, at all times, understood? Now let's go again."

  — — — — —

  Sixteen A didn't understand just what she was doing wrong. Her Sodalite refused to explain, or maybe she never even thought she had to explain it to a Pearl, but no matter what Sixteen A did or didn't do, her Sodalite was not satisfied.

  She accompanied her Sodalite everywhere. To meetings, aboard spaceships, during travel, greeting Gems of such regality and noblesse that a Pearl was honored to merely be in their presence. Not as grand a time as meeting a Diamond, but that was far beyond Sixteen A's dreams.

  But… Sixteen A didn't do anything. As her Sodalite had said, she was by her side at all times, and when they retreated to her private chambers, they danced. Often brutally, and so very often of late the act of dancing left her lightform battered and bent or even broken to the extent that she poofed.

  So much that it was routine.

  And still she didn't know what her Sodalite desired.

  Sixteen A didn't ask, however. Something inside her felt like it would break if she knew.

  All the new experiences she had, the wondrous places she went, the gems she saw; all of it was colored in deep, rich blue. That every night she would be held by her Sodalite and forced to perform a mockery of a dance with such brutality.

  Until one day, as her Sodalite had business on Homeworld, Sixteen A saw perfection again.

  Veridian, Sixteen B of Batch Sixteen, the very image of flawless Pearl excellence, accompanying her own Emerald.

  Her Sodalite clearly remembered that Emerald and her eye lingered on Veridian, then when she cast a glance back at Sixteen A, the disappointment, displeasure, and dissatisfaction were so vividly clear that Sixteen A could feel the weight of that gaze in the form of her Sodalite's hands and feet, as if they were dancing out here in the open.

  Then her Sodalite turned and called, "You, the admiral!"

  The next minutes were so… so… Sixteen A would almost have rather been shattered than have the very Gem who commissioned her offer her as a trade. Of course, the fact that it was for the vision of flawless perfection that was Sixteen B was both expected and natural, but then to be gifted to the Emerald for… for what, nothing?

  Had Sixteen A really failed her Sodalite that much? Had her suffering and attempts to fulfill whatever her Sodalite was looking for so wrong? What… What could she even do besides whimper and cry so openly when her entire life, every effort she had made since her creation, was proven so worthless that she was given away.

  But, as it was the last order of her Sodalite, no matter Sixteen A's feelings on the matter, both positive or negative, she obeyed as was the duty of a Pearl. Or, at least, she thought it was. When Sixteen A recollected the entirety of her duties performed as a Pearl, then compared them to what she was trained at the Reef to do, really… was she even a Pearl?

  Her mind was so scattered that when she finally came to, she was following Veridian down a hall in the Emer—no, her Emerald's ship, that when Viridian led her into a storage closet, she didn't know what to expect.

  This was Veridian, the pride and joy of Batch Sixteen.

  When… when the very idol of excellence that a Pearl could be whirled around, Sixteen A did not expect to be hit with a gaze full of disappointment and annoyance.

  It immediately sent her into excuses, just like she had once gave when they were both trainee Pearls in the Reef. "I-I'm sorry! I just-she was never happy with me and I tried so hard but she would just hit me l-like Nacre Three and I'd-"

  A hand clamped over Sixteen A's mouth, yet… yet it was not the thick and brutish hand of Sodalite nor the sharp and dangerous claw of a Nachre. No, it was thin, fragile, and so very gentle that tears streamed from Sixteen A's eyes.

  "Shush," said Viridian with such care that it was surprising that Sixteen A even knew what care sounded like. It was a tone she had never heard before.

  "Alright. We're doing this and I don't really have a choice in the matter so, welcome to Viridian's tips and tricks for not getting Decommissioned. Ready?"

  All Sixteen A could do was nod, swiftly as possible to reassure Viridian that she was listening, that she understood, and that she would do whatever Viridian said. She was the expert on everything a Pearl should be.

  Viridian slowly released her grasp on Sixteen A's mouth, so gentle and kind was it that even calling it a grasp was rude, for Viridian left no marks on her cheeks, nor did that grip crush and distort her lightform. She softly clapped her hands together.

  "Good. Tip one, and something you need to learn immediately, judging from what I saw back in the plaza, is actually rather simple."

  Those eyes, so clear and focused and perfect began to distort. Large tears, as if held back behind a dam that burst, overflowed down Veridian's cheeks and fell to the floor in large globules.

  "Y-you're only allowed to c-cry when you're sure no one's looking, o-okay?"

  Sixteen A… felt something shatter, and at that moment she almost wished it was her own Gem.