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Ch 89. Warriors Guilt

  -Callia-

  Opening my eyes, I see the familiar boards of my room's ceiling. Looking around, I gradually adjust to the comfort of home. My limbs are still sore, but my injuries are gone, which means whoever healed me did a rushed job. I let out a soft groan as I forced myself up. By my bedside is a plate with breakfast and a small note. The grumbling from my gut takes priority as I scarf down Mom’s cooking. Eventually, with a satisfied sigh, I turned my attention back to the note.

  “Take it easy today, Lia. You’ve had a hard couple of days.” Mom’s note immediately snapped me out of my lethargic haze. Memories of the bandit camp and what happened filter back. Immediately I felt sick. The spraying of blood as I ripped apart people and the look in their eyes as their life faded. I staggered from my room to the restroom, breaking into a mix of sobbing and vomiting.

  I had suppressed this feeling by trying to stay active, but in the safety of home with the problems of the world isolated, guilt and disgust welled up. I always knew I would eventually have to fight people. If humanity had one specialty, it was infighting, and anyone of strength would eventually be drawn into the whirlpool. I had ignored his warnings while enjoying the feeling of being superhuman. I wanted to believe that I acted for the right reasons, but that was only a small comfort.

  A hand began to gently rub my back, providing me with an anchor to pull myself together. It was hard to coherently think, but Mom softly reassured me that I was ok and that everything was going to be ok. I leaned into Mom, feeling the familiar warmth of her embrace. Softly and gently she began sharing the details of what had happened after I had passed out. Callen was back and spending some time with Nightshade. He had been spending more time with her ever since the river battle. Grandpa was helping organize the rescued civilians who weren’t local. My sisters had taken a day off and were playing with Rylin outside.

  I felt the trembling begin to fade as the nausea finally passed. Mom called it Warrior's Guilt, something many who walk the path of a warrior face if they hold empathy. Mom shared the story of how she met Dad. He had been staring off into the distance after having wiped out a den of criminals. She didn’t know at the time, but she had spoken to him to make sure he was ok. It led into a series of meetings that had built the foundation of their marriage.

  Mom held my hand while taking me down to the living room. Soon I had a mug of warm juice in hand and was wrapped in a blanket. It felt a bit silly. It wasn't a cold day, but the warmth felt like Mom’s hug, so I relaxed and listened to the sounds of home as Mom tidied up. Eventually I got up and went outside. Mom’s love was warm, but I felt ready to go back out.

  Outside I saw Rylin holding Reesia’s hand waddling towards Nixie who was encouraging him. He made it to her, and she gave him a big hug, both giggling happily. Rylin noticed me and immediately reached out towards me, crying out.

  “Li aaa!” I kneel down and hold out my arms, encouraging my little brother as he eagerly abandons Nixie for me. I can’t help but giggle at Nixie’s pouting behind Rylin as Reesia helps him waddle to me. He makes it, and I pull him into my embrace. I gently boop his nose, making him giggle. Holding him in my arms, I look over to see the relieved expressions of Reesia and Nixie.

  Reesia gently bops the back of my head and quietly scolds me. (so she wouldn’t upset Rylin)

  “Sis, I knew you always wanted to go on adventures, but you promised me and Nixie we could come along! Next time, don’t run off without us. You have no idea how worried everyone gets when something like this happens!” I can see Nixie nodding in agreement, and I drop my head in a mix of embarrassment and shame. Rylin goes quiet, seeming to catch on, but I give him another nose boop and big smile. His energy perks right back up. Looking back at Reesia and Nixie, I nod sincerely.

  “Right, I got caught up in my head this time. Next time something happens, I’ll make sure I drag the two of you in from the beginning.” I give a bit of a sly grin as my sisters chuckle in amusement. The moment is interrupted by Rylin, who has apparently decided I’ve been holding him too long. Reaching towards his toy blocks, I set him down and help him get back to playing.

  The memories from the bandit camp linger, but the edge is already fading. I secretly memorize the feeling. Hurting others is hard, but living without that restraint is how someone becomes a monster. Rylin holds up his wooden cube to show it off to me, and I focus back onto the present. He’s just too cute!

  -Callen-

  After waking up, I shared with Mom and my sisters how Callia was feeling. The echoes of horror in her actions last night were something I had keenly felt. She would need the others there for her once she was up. While I could’ve been there to help, I felt it might be best if the others handled it this time. I also had an issue that needed addressing.

  After waking up I checked my status.

  The Eye had proactively interfered at a critical moment this time. I had almost expected something like a trait for corruption, but Greater Mana Affinity (Void) was as vague as it was concerning. No changes in the effect, just an update to the name. While no new effects had been listed, my perception of my void space was clearer than I had ever experienced before. Before I begin experimenting with some new anti-eye measures, I decided to consult Nightshade. She was my best hope of finding some solution to my issue.

  Poor Bob

  Bob stumbled through the darkness of the forest with his nerves utterly shot. The stillness and silence of the forest was like a promise of death. At one point he nearly shat himself when a small rodent tried its luck jumping out from a small hole hidden by a root. It was sent flying as Bob managed to whack it with a wild swing. Eventually he made it to the road. Seeing something move in the shadows, he turned and ran the other way.

  Panting like a dog, he reached the small fort built by the river. Seeking some kind of safety from the shadow that he could swear was following him, he ran inside one of the towers and blocked the entry. The sounds of something being scratched outside his tower kept him on edge late into the night. Then the sounds of people came.

  Bob was certain nobody should be passing by this late at night. It made no sense for any merchants to arrive in the night, which meant this place was now haunted by the souls of his deceased companions! It all made sense! The shadows on the road had been the ghosts of the peasants who had been used as bait for the traps. They had died waiting for help that they had intercepted! The sounds of people chatting and settling into the fort echoed all around him.

  At one point the door was violently jostled but gave up shortly later. It got quiet again eventually, but Bob didn’t sleep a wink throughout the night. The light of the sun began to illuminate the fort, and Bob took that as his chance to escape from one of the windows. He crawled out and grunted in pain as he hit the ground below. Then, without looking back at that haunted place, he ran down the road. Maybe once he made it to town, he might finally be safe. Even if he got locked in a cell, it was better than risking the vengeance of ghosts!

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