I sprawl out on my giant fox-shaped beanbag, feeling a wave of relief wash over me as if my entire skeletal structure has just been taken apart and put back together. The holographic screen in front of me displays a beautiful green message: [APPROVED]. No one in Sector 1031 got downsized, and no one got transferred. It is a magnificent victory. In this ruthless divine capitalist jungle, surviving a major reporting season is like surviving a Great Flood.
I stretch my body; all nine of my tails (even though eight are currently hidden in dimensional storage) seem to want to unfurl to release the stiffness. The Team 7 office is suspiciously quiet today. Zhen Shan’s "Silkpunk Workshop" area is pitch black, and Alethea’s "Greek Library" only has the sound of water trickling from the holographic waterfall.
I lazily turn my head to the side, where my only present subordinate sits.
"Hey Nanao," I call out, my voice groggy. "Where is Xiao Lang? Is he still on duty today? Why isn't he with you?"
Nanao, a Japanese Calico Cat God with sleek fur, sits perched on the edge of a desk, using his rough tongue to groom the fur on his arm. He is my protégé from the old days at Takama-ga-hara Ventures. After I jumped ship, I used a bit of my "persuasion skills" (and promises of sky-high bonuses) to poach him for the Diplomatic Relations Team.
Hearing my question, Nanao’s triangular ears twitch slightly, and he pauses his grooming.
"Zhen Shan dragged him into another private meeting with the Security Team," Nanao replies, his tone sympathetic.
"You know how it is, Boss. The operations side has been swamped lately. Anomalies are popping up like mushrooms after rain, and Zhen is so meticulous; he wants to micromanage everything."
I click my tongue and shake my head in disapproval.
"Poor kid. Following a workaholic boss like that, he probably doesn't even have time to wag his tail."
I look around the empty office, then look back at Nanao.
"But this is strange. I issued a 'Special Decree' today. I gave the entire Relations Team two choices: One, come to the office to slack off, chat, and play cards. Two, go down to the Mundane Realm to shop, visit a spa, or whatever, and still log it as 'paid fieldwork'. Since our slate is clean today."
I rest my chin on my hand, narrowing my eyes at my junior.
"So how the hell... are you the only one who dragged your carcass up here?"
Nanao shrugs, his tail curling neatly around his legs.
"Well, everyone chose option two. Who doesn't like to go out and get paid for it, Boss?"
A sense of betrayal rises in my chest (even though I know perfectly well that if I were them, I would do the same). I clutch my left chest, feigning extreme pain.
"Sniff... I thought we were brothers, but it turns out you are all fair-weather friends! When there are benefits, we share; when there is work, we run! Only you remember this old fox, Nanao. My love for you is not wasted."
Nanao looks at me with undisguised contempt, his feline pupils narrowing into vertical slits.
"Drop the act, Boss. It’s your own fault. Everyone prefers wandering the streets to playing cards with you. Every time we play, the whole team knows you pull some tricks, but the annoying part is that no one can prove it."
"Hey now!" I sit up straight, my white fur puffing up in protest. "Watch your mouth. You guys wrong me. Your Big Boss here is a paragon of integrity! I never cheat at cards!"
"Integrity?" Nanao pouts, his whiskers twitching. "Don't make me laugh. Your 'integrity' is as real as a vegetarian tiger."
I am speechless. Fine, this kid is getting bold lately.
I narrow my eyes, a "friendly" smile slowly spreading across my fox face.
"Fine, fine. Since you say that..." I lower my voice, whispering dangerously. "Next time we have to renegotiate a contract with Takama-ga-hara, I will appoint you as our representative. It’s been a while since you met our old colleagues, right? I bet they 'miss' you dearly."
Nanao’s ears immediately flatten against his head, and his tail fur puffs up like a bottlebrush.
"See!" Nanao cries out, pointing a claw at my face. "I make one small complaint and you immediately reveal your true nature! You dictatorial capitalist fox!"
While Nanao and I chat about everything under the sun—from the price of offerings to the latest romantic scandal involving Zeus—the silk door embroidered with gold threads in Zhen’s workspace vibrates slightly and slides open.
Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.
The Security Team steps out.
To say they "step out" is too generous; it is more accurate to say they drag themselves out. A long line of humanoid, bear, wolf, and panther deities shuffle with heavy steps. Their eyes have dark circles, and their fur looks ragged, as if they just returned from a war zone. Those starting their shift lethargically pull themselves toward the Cloud-Hopper gate, while those finishing their shift look like walking zombies, seeking only a straw nest to hibernate in immediately.
Zhen brings up the rear. His suit is still perfectly pressed (I suspect he uses a Law to iron his clothes every 15 minutes), but his round tiger ears droop miserably on his head, and his long tail hangs limp, dragging along the floor. He looks exactly like a single father who just finished babysitting twenty hyperactive children for three days straight.
Seeing this desolate scene, my "leadership" blood (and gambling addiction) boils intensely. Team spirit is at a red-alert low. Sector 1031 needs a boost! An event to bond the brotherhood! And more importantly, I need a legitimate excuse to strip Zhen of his bonus money legally.
A genius idea flashes in my mind, shining as bright as the neon lights of the Myriad District.
I wink at Nanao and sneak over to Alethea’s Library area. After about two minutes of whispering, analyzing the pros and cons (mostly the pros for our wallets), and playing the "democracy" card, the Big Sister nods instantly. In this office, the unwritten rule is: if two out of three leaders agree, the third loses their veto power. Sorry, Zhen.
I gleefully run to the center of the office—the round marble table, the only place unaffected by our chaotic aesthetic styles. I pull out an energy megaphone (the kind that amplifies sound directly into spiritual eardrums) and clear my throat.
"HELLO HELLO! 1, 2, 3, 4! ATTENTION ALL STAFF OF SECTOR 1031!"
The booming sound makes the yawning security staff jump, their fur standing on end. Zhen, who was intending to return to his corner for a nap, freezes and turns his head to look at me with eyes full of suspicion.
"To celebrate the glorious victory of the Quarter III Report, and to dispel this funeral-like atmosphere," I declare loudly, standing on a chair to look a bit taller. "On behalf of the Leadership Board (meaning myself and Alethea), I solemnly announce: Today we organize THE FIRST OPEN PANDORA POKER TOURNAMENT!"
Whispers begin to rise. The sluggish eyes suddenly light up. Gambling is the best stimulant for all kinds of fatigue, after all.
"Anyone who wants to participate, please register immediately in the 'Misc Chat' group on Solak! Nanao, create a separate group chat for the tournament right now!"
I snap my fingers, and a holographic rule board appears in mid-air, large and clear.
"The tournament structure is as follows:
First, regarding the prize: The three esteemed Team Leaders (mostly Mr. Zhen here) will deduct a portion of their Q3 bonus to sponsor the budget. The total prize pool amounts to hundreds of thousands of FP!
Second, regarding the format: The three Big Bosses automatically have 3 slots in the Final Round (sponsor's privilege, you know).
For the rest, each team (Security, Relations, Analytics) organizes an internal qualifier to select the most elite representative to come and 'tear apart' the bosses. No real FP betting in the qualifiers, just for fun!"
The crowd roars with excitement. A chance to defeat the boss and take home a massive FP package? Who can refuse that?
And to show my "professionalism," I immediately send an attached file to the general group chat with a benevolent title: "PANDORA POKER INTRODUCTORY GUIDE - For the Newbies".
The content is as follows:
PANDORA POKER RULES (Universal Education Version)
(Read carefully, don't cry when you lose)
OBJECTIVE: Be the last one surviving OR have the strongest hand when the deck runs out.
THE DECK:
- Standard Deck (2 to Ace).
- "Guardian Spirit" Card (Joker): Saves your life (Defuse).
- "Pandora" Card (Black Skull): BOOM = DEATH = ELIMINATED.
GAMEPLAY:
Each player starts with 5 cards in hand.
On your turn, you have 2 choices:
- Draw a Card (Mandatory if you don't play cards):
- Draw a normal card: Safe, turn ends.
- Draw a Pandora card: KABOOM! You are eliminated (unless you have a Joker to defuse it).
- Play Cards (Use Poker combinations to activate effects):
- Pair (2 identical cards): Skip. You don't need to draw a card.
- Two Pairs: Attack. You don't draw, and the next player must draw 2 turns in a row.
- Three of a Kind: Oracle. You can secretly peek at the top 5 cards of the deck.
- Straight (5 consecutive cards): Shuffle. Shuffle the entire draw pile (Extremely useful when you know Pandora is on top).
- Flush (5 cards of the same suit): Steal. Steal a random card from an opponent's hand.
- Full House (3 of a kind + 1 pair): Divine Shield. Block an attack.
- Four of a Kind: Revive. Bring an eliminated player back to the table.
Ping ting notification sounds ring continuously throughout the office. Staff members begin to gather, discussing excitedly; the gloomy atmosphere from earlier vanishes completely.
I glance over at Zhen. He still stands there, looking at the rule board, then at me and Alethea (who smiles subtly). His massive shoulders slump, and a heavy sigh escapes his chest.
"Sigh... Itsuki, you are up to something again."
Although his mouth says that, I see that he does not turn to leave. On the contrary, he begins to loosen his tie and unbutton his collar. Those amber eyes begin to shine with a sharp glint—the look of someone who does not intend to lose, even if he is dragged into the game.
"Fine," he mutters. "Just don't come crying to borrow money from me when you lose."