A ground beef patty, grilled to perfection!

  Ketchup, and a slice or two of pickle!

  And, from the emergency stores in Bessie’s Landing…

  A bun, cut in half!

  And last, as an option…

  A slice of cheese on top of the patty!

  This was the Lilyburger with cheese.

  A new dish that had taken two villages by storm, and was now spreading around three different countries!

  And that wasn’t all!

  There was, of course, apple juice, made from the apples of the Pomum Family Orchard…

  But the meal was tied together with…

  Friendly Fries!

  That’s right, Friendly Fries!

  They were all still in Wisconsin!

  Potatoes sliced into thin, narrow strips…

  Fried in oil…

  Salted just right…

  With a satisfying crunch on the outside, and pillowy soft on the inside…

  Friendly Fries!

  Mr. Cat was over the moon as the meals were placed before the five at the diplomat’s table.

  “Mew, mew, mew!”

  Everyone turned to the decision maker…

  Lily’s Mama!

  She had been hesitant before…

  What did a small mining village mother have to say about Revolutionary politics in a country hundreds of miles away?

  But…

  This was about her daughter’s pet cat’s diet!

  Mr. Cat had just slimmed down!

  Mr. Cat was, of course, the most concerned with her judgment…

  But Duchess Sophie was also watching on tenterhooks!

  She was really concerned!

  She wanted Mr. Cat to be happy…

  Lily’s Mama opened her mouth…

  And sighed!

  She sighed!

  “Hah… Okay, Mr. Cat, you can have a Lilyburger with cheese set… including the Friendly Fries…”

  “Mew! Meow! Yippee!”

  “But only because we’re going to France next, and it sounds like their food problem is even more serious than it has been everywhere else.”

  Well, that was a bit of a downer.

  Everyone became more serious.

  Back in Appalashia, there had been the alternatives of potatoes and deer hunted up in them thar hills.

  In Te—the Great and Everlasting Free State of Texas, the people were just used to eating steak for three meals a day.

  They had other food, too!

  And in Wisconsin, though they were running out of cheese…

  They still had enough food to go around!

  Fruits, and ice cream, even!

  But in France…

  Everyone turned to look at Duchess Sophie…

  Well, except for Mr. Cat, who was scarfing down his Friendly Fries!

  Munch munch munch purr purr munch purr…

  So cute!

  Sophie was enamored.

  Lily put a hand on her cheek.

  Just like she had seen her Mama do!

  That meant she was concerned!

  “Sophie… Does France have enough food? Everywhere else eats bread as their backup food, but France doesn’t even have bread…”

  At that, Sophie was pulled out of her kitty-cat obsession.

  She looked up, thought about what Lily said…

  And she shuddered!

  “Uh, yeah, we have other food, but…”

  “But? What other food does France have?”

  Sophie gulped.

  “It’s, uh, it’s our Glorious French heritage… Everyone says I’ll understand when I grow up, but…”

  “Oh dear,” Brenda murmured under her breath.

  She knew!

  “Well, what is it?” Lily asked.

  Maybe Sophie was a picky eater, and didn’t like vegetables, like her school friends?

  “It’s, uh, snails… and frog’s legs…”

  The table fell silent, save for Mr. Cat’s munching.

  Lily paled.

  “Sophie!” she cried, and reached over to take Sophie’s trembling hand in her own. “Sophie, it’s gonna be okay!”

  The Duchess was on the verge of tears!

  “If, if… sniff… If we don’t get the bakers to make more cake, I’m gonna have to eat frogs and snails…”

  “No!” Lily shouted.

  This was the biggest crisis yet!

  Even worse than the Dairy Cow Strike!

  “Sophie!”

  Duchess Sophie looked up at the little businesslady grasping her hand.

  “We gotta pray to the Gods and Goddesses!”

  “...Pray?”

  Oh, that was right.

  They hadn’t said their mealtime prayers yet.

  Sophie’s manners were slipping!

  “Yeah, pray! If we pray, the Gods and Goddesses will help us out!”

  Lily folded her hands and closed her eyes, and Sophie copied her.

  Sophie began her normal prayers.

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  “Thank you God of Cuis—”

  Only to be completely washed out by Lily’s desperate yelling!

  “Dear Mister Gods and Missus Goddesses! You gotta help us! Please don’t make it so my new friend has to eat snails and frogs and other icky things! Help us end the French Revolution and teach the French to eat real food, like Lilyburgers!”

  Sophie was stunned into silence, but there were faint murmurs of assent throughout the room, as everyone else joined in Lily’s prayer!

  “Mrow!”

  Mr. Cat chimed in as well.

  “Nothing wrong with some good frog’s legs, though!”

  He was on the side of French cuisine!

  Cats are notorious for eating almost anything they catch, and Mr. Cat was by no means a picky eater!

  He was a gourmet!

  He’d eaten lots of things!

  In her heart, Sophie repeated Lily’s prayer, and also said her normal prayers of thanks to the God of Cuisine…

  And Gordon, the God of Cuisine up in heaven, who hated to see little girls cry, nodded!

  Duchess Sophie’s Piety Points went up!

  Brenda and Sally shared a look.

  “Alright, let’s eat up now.”

  “Ah, that’s right!” Lily said, and her eyes flew open.

  “Sophie, you’ve never eaten a Lilyburger before, right?”

  Sophie didn’t trust herself to speak, and merely shook her head.

  “Okay, I’ll show you!”

  This was important, because there were a lot of manners about how to eat!

  A full course French meal uses over a dozen pieces of silverware!

  Which would be used for this dish?

  And…

  Lily picked it up in her hands!

  “See, it’s like a sandwich! You pick it up in your hands, and take a bite! But be careful, sometimes ketchup falls off the side!”

  Lily took a bite, careful to hold the Lilyburger over her fancy engraved silver plate.

  Munch munch…

  “Mm! Yummy!”

  Brenda smiled.

  “My chef will be glad to know she has your approval, Miss Lily.”

  “Yeah, good job!”

  Sophie picked up the Lilyburger in her hands, and carefully leaned forward over her plate, and took a bite…

  Flavors!

  So many flavors!

  The freshly baked bun, nice and soft…

  The juicy beef patty!

  The tang of the ketchup, and the bite of the pickle…

  And the smooth, faint sweetness of the cheese!

  The cheese had melted on the hot patty, and mixed up with all the other flavors!

  “Mm!” Sophie exclaimed. Quickly, she chewed, and swallowed.

  “That was quite delicious!”

  “Right?! That’s a Lilyburger with cheese!”

  While Sophie ate the rest of her Lilyburger with cheese, Lily regaled her with talk of her restaurants, and how she got started, and all the different ingredients and their cost, and how the price increases had affected her plans to pay for her parents’ retirement…

  Lily chattered on and on!

  Sophie finished her burger, and looked at the pile of yellow sticks remaining on the plate.

  “And these are… fries?”

  “Friendly Fries!” Lily said.

  Brenda beamed proudly.

  But Sophie looked at them more closely…

  “What makes them Friendly?” she asked.

  “Well, that’s the name. They’re made out of potatoes! You pick them up with your hands and eat them one or two at a time.”

  Lily demonstrated, and Sophie copied her.

  “Oh my! These are quite good as well!”

  And soon enough, Sophie was alternating Friendly Fries and apple juice…

  “And you invented these dishes?” Sophie asked Lily.

  “Yeah! Well, I had some help, but my ghosts said I could take the credit!”

  “Ghosts?”

  “Yeah! The God of Death is haunting me with ghosts! They’re helping me!”

  “Oh my.”

  What else could Sophie say?

  The girl next to her was a culinary genius!

  Everyone knows artists are always a little off.

  A little weird.

  That’s just how they are!

  Sophie was a mature eight-year-old Duchess.

  She wasn’t going to make a big deal of it!

  Brenda cleared her throat.

  “Ahem, so, Duchess Sophie, would you be willing to accept Miss Lily into France as a third-party mediator, with the backing of the Friendly Commonwealth of Wisconsin?”

  “Huh? Oh, yes, of course!”

  “Yay!” Lily said.

  But, Sophie sighed.

  “I wish I could invite you to my birthday party, but it takes a week to get back to France by carriage, and my birthday’s in three days… I’m gonna miss it this year…”

  “Oh no!” Lily cried. “That’s so sad!”

  Lily started tearing up, too!

  What could they do?

  And then, Brenda adjusted her narrow-framed eyeglasses, and they caught the light and flashed!

  That was the sign that she had an idea!

  Everyone looked at her with hope!

  “...Duchess Sophie, you came here in a carriage?”

  “Sniff… yeah…”

  Brenda held back a sigh.

  This was the problem with French nobility!

  Everything had to be fancy, with no consideration for efficiency…

  “Why don’t you drive back to Pahree with Miss Lily and her chauffeur? The drive would only take a day…”

  “Drive?”

  “Yeah! We’re using Mayor Henry’s car! It’s really fast!” Lily said, brightening. “And if we get there in a day, we’ll be back in time for your birthday party!”

  “But, there’s still the Revolution…”

  “Oh…”

  Lily looked down for a moment.

  “Lily, Revolutions tend to go on longer the longer they go on,” Brenda explained. “People build up grudges, and resentments, and cling to their bitterness…”

  It was kinda complicated!

  But…

  Lily looked up, with determination in her eyes!

  “But it’s Sophie’s birthday! We gotta do our best to make everyone get along, throw a big birthday party, and get wheat prices lowered!”

  She folded her hands, bowed her head, and prayed!

  “Please, Mister Gods and Missus Goddesses! Help me end the French Revolution before Sophie’s birthday!”

  Everyone at the table was stunned into silence.

  Was that really a strong enough reason to end an entire Revolution, just for a little girl’s birthday party?

  Brenda…

  Shrugged!

  “Well, Lily, you’ll certainly have the backing of the Friendly Commonwealth of Wisconsin.”

  She was gonna roll with it!

  Lily was a special little girl…

  She had even managed to understand the Dairy Cows!

  Surely she could manage to understand the French, too…

  Couldn’t she?

  Duchess Sophie sniffed. “Thanks, Lily.”

  And so they wrapped up the diplomacy meeting!

  Lily, her Mama, and Mr. Cat went back to the bed and breakfast inn, and let Granny Pomum know that they would be leaving bright and early tomorrow morning.

  “Well, don’t be strangers now. Come on back anytime. Stay Friendly!”

  “Stay Friendly!” Lily replied.

  They also told Dale, and he smiled!

  “Good, I’ve been itching to get back on the road again! France this time, right?”

  Sally put a hand on her cheek. “Are you sure it’s alright, Dale? We originally only planned to go to the Great and Everlasting Free State of Texas, and it’s been almost a week now…”

  Dale nodded. “Yep, it’s fine. Mayor George owes Mayor Henry a lot of favors, so there’s no rush!”

  They all slept well, and ate a very early breakfast, and then drove over to the capitol building, where Duchess Sophie and her lady’s maid were waiting next to a big fancy carriage with two big strong horsies!

  General Secretary Brenda was also there to see them off.

  And so was Flo!

  She was wearing her cat kigurumi, and selling apples, first thing in the morning!

  But she had come over to give them some apples for the road.

  “Nyaa~ take these apples for the road! They’re the best apples in all Wisconsin!” she declared.

  “Thanks Flo! Come visit me in Three Creeks village sometime, when you get the chance!”

  “I will!”

  Lily and Flo hugged.

  Sophie bit her handkerchief!

  “Good morning, Sophie!” Lily greeted her, and did a curtsy!

  It wasn’t as good as Sophie’s curtsy, but it was the thought that counted!

  It turned out, Lily was a commoner, after all…

  “Mrow, Sophie wants a hug, too!” Mr. Cat said, his tail whipping back and forth.

  “Huh?! Ahem, uh, ahem…” Sophie sputtered.

  “Okay!” Lily said, and gave her a hug!

  It was a little hard, because they were both wearing dresses with poofy skirts, but Lily managed!

  Sophie blushed bright red, but…

  She hugged Lily back!

  “G-good morning, Lily.”

  “Heheheh…” Lily giggled.

  Meanwhile, Dale and the lady’s maid loaded the Duchess’ luggage into the trunk.

  The car was just big enough to fit everyone!

  The Lady’s maid was going to sit up front, and Sally, Lily, and Duchess Sophie were going to sit in the back.

  Mr. Cat would lay down on their laps!

  He also had a box up in the front, just in case.

  And so, at the crack of dawn, they set out!

  Vroom vroom!

  For France!

  To end the French Revolution!