I scanned the room and found the door to the lobby’s bathrooms. It creaked open slightly, and a few familiar-looking eyes peeked out at me. I nodded at them, then I motioned toward the bathroom with an optimistic wiggle of my eyebrows.
Silas wiggled his brow back at me, and I nearly lost my composure. Yes, it was a funny exchange, but it was also disheartening for so many reasons.
Eider duck down duvet… Eider duck down duvet… and matching pillows, I reminded myself. I just need to get past this part, and then I can finally get out of here. Maybe.
“Alright, hold on!” I yelled. “I’m coming out. Don’t shoot.”
“This ain’t a flappin’ negotiation, fennel seed!” another yelled back.
I still had no idea what that insult meant, but it was starting to really bother me.
Silas held all eight of his tentacles aloft, I raised both arms, and we slowly emerged from behind the pillar. I held my breath at the sight of at least a dozen Godfeather Players with guns trained on me, not to mention several NPCs.
But it was the perfect distraction, because none of the Godfeathers paid any attention to the bathroom on their flank.
Why do they even have a bathroom in the Allverse? The thought occurred to me, but I pushed it away.
A Godfeather with the head of an Old World Vulture leered at me. I realized he was the one who’d first told me to come out. “What were youse thinkin’? That one dude in a pair of infantile boxers and a ballistic vest could take out the Godfeathers? Just a fennel seed and a squid?”
“Oh, that does it!” Silas flung himself off my shoulder and onto the face of the Player.
The Old World Vulture Player staggered and struggled to pry the Karjok off his face, alternating between gurgling sounds and Vulture caws. The others just exchanged quizzical stares.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of Chancellor Hachem, Will, Fredrick, and the other Karjok slinking out of the bathrooms and taking positions on the walls and behind pillars. The Godfeathers remained too preoccupied with me and their comrade fighting with Silas to notice.
I smirked.
The Old World Vulture finally managed to wrestle Silas off his face. He was standing right in front of me, and he thrust Silas back into my arms. “For Pete’s sake, take him!”
“Ha! Pete can’t save you,” Silas retorted with a final slap to the Player’s beak, then he slithered back onto my shoulder.
The Old World Vulture Player shook his head and pointed a revolver at my face. “This Feud ends now. You gonna come quietly, or do we gotta spatter your head into sparkles all over the wall?”
“Uh, Caleb?” Another Player noticed the fifty Karjok surrounding them, all armed with all sorts of automatic rifles and futuristic guns.
“What?” he yelled back.
“We got a problem…”
“You certainly do. Plan Zeta!” I yelled and dodge-rolled backward. Just to be sure, I added, “Open fire!”
All at once, the Karjok unloaded their weapons on the Godfeathers. Chunks of marble, bursts of sparkles, and feathers crashed into a tsunami born of fifty raging space octopuses—not squid.
Needless to say, our enemies didn’t last long, even though my allies couldn’t aim worth a clam.
The author's content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
“By the way,” Silas said, “It was Project Zeta.”
I rolled my eyes. “C’mon. We’re not done yet.”
* * *
[Initiating Player Review]
[Sync – Level 20]
[Game/Class: The Godfeather – *~ERROR~*]
[Beginning Report]
“Oh, this is cute. Rickshaw Riot started an official Feud with us? He’s got no chance. We got dozens of birds here at the roost.” Icarus sighed. “At least I’ll finally get Erik here, too. Then you can be my prisoners together. Won’t that be fun? Well, until I get what I need, anyway.”
Sync snarled at him. He’d shot her multiple times then used either a medkit or a Health Pack to heal her, repeating the torturous ritual again and again. He’d both attempted to pry her WHIM off and get her to surrender it, but she hadn’t given him an inch.
And she knew about his time limit, too. Less than fifteen minutes remained, and if she could hold out long enough until it expired, she’d win. Sync just hoped it wouldn’t get her killed first.
Icarus produced a knife from his inventory. “I hope you won’t make me cut it off your arm.”
“You’re sick,” she hissed, trying to control her ragged breathing. “You’re a psychopath.”
He shook his head like a parent disappointed in his child. “Don’t look at me like that. It isn’t real. Those were your words, not even ten minutes ago. Or thirty minutes. Or whatever, forty minutes, maybe. I’ve never had a good sense of timing. But back to you—yeah, I’m sure it hurts, but it isn’t real.”
Sync seethed at him. “You—”
“Icarus.” The Godfeather rose from his chair. “We’re under attack. You’ve led them right to us.”
Icarus’s demeanor changed, and he stammered, “I-I-I did it on purpose! It was a strategy. I—I lured them here so we could pen them in, all of ‘em, and now we’ll finish it.”
To Sync’s surprise, the Godfeather gave a slow nod. “Then this is your chance to prove why I chose you to be my heir, to earn redemption. Fail, and you’ll pay the ultimate price…”
| Objective: Win the Feud |
| Reward: $8,000 AllCash |
| 5,000 XP |
| Unlockable: Godfeather Successor status – Player can found,
manage, and profit from their own Godfeather family |
| Objective Failure: Exile from the Godfeathers
and permanent branding of Godfeather Enemy status |
As a fellow Godfeather, Sync could see this objective given to Icarus, just like she’d seen the details of the one about acquiring her WHIM from her, even though it didn’t apply to her.
She didn’t fully understand how that was possible, but it wasn’t the first significant glitch she’d experienced because she’d stolen the Godfeather game and class.
Either way, she knew things she probably wasn’t supposed to know. Whether Icarus knew that she could see his objectives, she couldn’t tell, but so far he’d given no indication that he’d even considered it.
If nothing else, Sync was grateful for the added distraction. Anything that delayed Icarus long enough to make him fail was a welcome diversion.
Icarus cackled. “Do you know how hard I’ve been grinding for this? Heir of the Don is one thing, but to actually succeed the Godfeather? To run my own family? I’ve been trying to unlock this option ever since I got my loot box on Launch Day, and now… no one is taking it away.”
He stared at her with a new depth of insanity in his eyes, but Sync said nothing in return.
“You, sit still and reconsider how hard you’re making this.” He spun his revolver’s cylinder and clicked it into place. “When I get back, either you’ll give me that WHIM willingly, or I’ll pry it from your cold, dead corpse.”
Sync’s jaw set. He’d never get her WHIM. It wasn’t possible; she knew it, but he didn’t.
That didn’t leave her with many options. And based on Icarus’s threats, she didn’t like her choices, either. Her best bet was to let him flutter off to try to stop Erik and waste the rest of his time focused on the wrong objective. Maybe then, she’d survive this.
“Actually…” Icarus narrowed his eyes, then he removed a flashbang grenade from his inventory. To no one in particular, with his voice still edging on mania, he said, “Maybe I’ll let Erik come to me instead. Yeah, that makes more sense. A lot more. Then I can get your WHIM before time runs out.”
Sync cursed internally. If he didn’t leave, she was more at risk.
Worse, she couldn’t even warn Erik of Icarus’s plans while restrained. It was part of the suite of debuffs that came with her Captured status, and she regretted how easily she’d let it happen to her.
Then again, if she’d fought back, she might already be dead.
“I’m not gonna fail now,” Icarus promised himself. He faced her and took aim with his revolver again. “Not here, not at the end. I can have it all, finally… and I will.”
Then he pulled the trigger.
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break--Royal Road. They call us the Critical Hitters.
In the desolate desert of the North American Sector, the government harvests the Soul Energy of siblings Eos and Maxima in secret.
When their powers attract the attention of a dangerous criminal organization, their routine lives are shattered. Eos and Maxima must search for freedom and the truth about their past as hostile forces close in.
The answers they seek lie behind one word—!
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A grizzled ex-mech pilot is drawn back into the Everwar, a decades-long conflict raging across Jupiter’s moonscape.
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Dungeon Crawler Carl Audio Immersion Tunnel for Soundbooth Theater, and he's the lead writer for the Dungeon Crawler Carl Role Playing Game.
