Breaking Announcement! You have been invited to an official company meeting by BioZone’s CEO, Dag Hamorsmyth. All fights have been paused for the duration of the meeting, and your attention is expected—nay, demanded. Anyone caught doing something other than listening to Dag with your full attention will randomly lose two stat points. Dag incoming:

  Hello, BioZone associates! Let me begin by saying that I’m proud—incredibly proud—to be part of your team. We’re building something incredibly synergistic together, and I want you to feel ownership of what we’ve achieved. In a minute, I’m going to take some time to drill down on the most recent data, but first, let’s have a mini yoga sesh.

  We’ll start with a tree pose to prove that old adage wrong that money doesn’t grow on trees. You’ve expanded BioZone’s capital resources extensively in the last week! Ok, now for the corpse pose. Haha, just kidding. Oh boy, I feel better after that! Am I the only one that feels more aware of their chakras now?

  Okay, circling back to the data. We saw a 425% increase in viewership in the past week. And a 237% increase in user engagement. That translated to a lot of bets! And remember, the house always wins. We’re moving onward and upward! Excelsior!

  In other news, your biometrics are still unacceptable, plain and simple. I thought I addressed this in our last company meeting. Even though our ratings are up, with biometrics like these, we’re not leveraging our maximum potential. The data doesn’t lie, so, we’ll be tweaking the strength of the game’s mobiles. The new normal is that associates will work for their kills, not just sleepwalk through the dungeons casting fireball after fireball. We’ll also be optimizing ability damage to make sure the headwinds are pushing us toward exponential growth, not just status-quo delivery.

  Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

  I know you’re excited about all the big things happening in BioZone City! As always, you are an incredibly expendable commodity. Until next time, team! And remember, Stay in the Zone!

  Trix sighed.

  TRIX: That guy is the worst.

  KIARA: And really rich. Last month he sailed to the Bikini Atoll on his billion dollar yacht with his fourth wife and his MicroNukes business partners.

  WILL: Fourth wife? He really goes through them.

  KIARA: Oh, no, he still has the other three. And he’s planning on a weeklong trip to outer space for his fifth marriage.

  TRIX: What a piece of work. I really just can’t.

  WILL: Oh man. I can’t believe this.

  KIARA: What?

  WILL: I just lost two stat points!

  TRIX: No way! Weren’t you giving Dag your full attention?

  WILL: Yeah—I mean, I was, but I was also rearranging my interface. I didn’t know I could put the health meters on the left column.

  Trix smashed a hand against her forehead.

  TRIX: Ok, first thing. Don’t clutter your peripheral vision. Second, what stats did you lose?

  WILL: I got lucky this time. It took charisma.

  TRIX: Isn’t your charisma score zero already?

  WILL: Yeah, it’s totally zero.

  KIARA: I wouldn’t call that luck. It’s more like beneficial misfortune.

  TRIX: Either way, there’s no reason to punish ourselves. Next time—

  Trix stopped in the middle of her thought and held out a hand. We listened and sure enough, heard the sound of feet running our way.