Aurelius materialised into thin air in his room.

  “AHH- WHAT the FUCK?!” Tiberius yelped frightfully, reminiscent of a small dog, jumping in terror at the sudden, unexpected appearance of his friend.

  “Ahuafdjnc” Aurelius replied, as he made his way towards his bed like a zombie.

  “Wh-No, No you damn idiot! You’re sweaty as FUCK. Get the hell out of the room and take a shower! We just changed the sheets yesterday!” Tiberius yelled, hopping off of his bed and pinching the hem of Aurelius’s sweaty shirt, grimacing as his fingers met the soaked fabric.

  Tiberius very kindly proceeded to kick Aurelius out of his room, sending a rueful Aurelius to the showers.

  Aurelius then proceeded to almost fall asleep in the showers several times, nearly drowning in a few instances with his head full of shampoo.

  Dragging himself back to his room, he promptly passed out, skipping his lunch and essentially the whole day.

  Tiberius, being the good friend and roommate that he was, checked in on him, making sure that he wasn’t dead and decomposing several times, as well as bringing the poor boy a small bite from the cafeteria.

  Only when Tiberius sat down on his table after Aurelius finished his small meal, did the battered boy realise a critical item of importance that had been forgotten in his endless array of suffering.

  Homework.

  ???

  Where in the name of all that is unholy, has that woman pulled out the hour of 6 AM? Aurelius thought to himself, letting all of his complaints spill out inside of his mind.

  After all, it would be better for his irritable thoughts to spill out now, rather than later, and get yelled at again by the scary woman.

  When he entered the gymnasium, he was welcomed very unfortunately by a puff of smoke straight into his nostrils.

  “Koff-What-koff-Why would you even-koff-do that?” Aurelius complained incredulously at the familiar face staring back at him cheerfully.

  “Oops, didn’t quite see you there kiddo.” Mr. Tona greeted.

  “You totally knew I would come through the door when you blew that bloody puff of cancer into my face!” Aurelius complained, very much annoyed by the former sage’s antics.

  “True, true. At the same time, it definitely woke you up!” He responded cheerfully, huffing another puff of smoke into the air

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  “Why are you here anyway?” Aurelius asked, completely done with this old geezer and his antics.

  The man in question dusted off the cigarette dust from his trench coat, wagging his fingers sternly.

  “Sages are a highly valuable resource for the Commission, and even more so for Houses. They’d literally kill to get time with Yeltz or me!” Mr. Tona teased.

  “And you have the two of us essentially on guard dog duty, watching over the two of you in case a bunch of forest dwelling weirdos pop up to kill you in your sleep!”

  “If my wife were not away for her damn book conference or whatever nonsense she’s gone for, I’d be spending the time right now in bed with her.”

  “Yet, her absence means that I need to babysit you in place of my dear apprentice… And I will add that the conditions of your school dorms are subpar… It’s dusty and lacks the natural sunlight I so crave in my wizened age…” The man finished, wiping fake tears from the corner of his wrinkled eyes.

  “Your wife seems to want to spend time away from you is what it looks like to me.” Aurelius responded, unamused by his antics.

  “Also, no one’s forcing you to sleep in the dorm room. You’ve been doing that voluntarily!”

  “Tsk, first of all, watch your tone before I haul you off to a Commission dungeon. Second of all, me and my wife are in a LOVING relationship, and we respect each other in our marriage. Her work is important to her, and I’m not supposed to get in the way of that.”

  “As for sleeping in the dorm room… How did you know that?” The former sage asked curiously.

  “Sir, you mentioned it just on Thursday when you joined us for dinner uninvited, again.” Aurelius replied, narrowing his eyes as he pondered upon the possibility of the man going senile alongside his incredible insufferability.

  “Ah, I see! Yes, I remember. Honestly, it’s quite convenient to have a place in the Academy because my little… friends over at the Commission bother me less.”

  “Plus, the Commission office is much too bright for my preference. Good thinking is done in the dark. That’s a quotable life lesson right there, boy.” The sage replied breezily, the smoke entering and exiting the chainsmoker’s mouth with every word.

  “Please remember to inform me when your wife finally comes home to pick you up.” Aurelius replied sarcastically.

  “Yeah, that’s like on Wednesday, so don’t you worry about it!” Mr. Tona responded with absolute sincerity, musing over Mrs. Tona’s return.

  “Anyways, I’ve come down at this ungodly hour because Sage Yeltz has informed me that she’ll be MIA for the day. Apparently, it’s got something to do with you, which I couldn’t even care to be curious about.”

  “But see, you wouldn’t like my usual style of training, not that you could last in them. And honestly, I assure you that those damn treefuckers are coming sooner than later. And when they do, you’d be dead within minutes!”

  Wally Tona smiled creepily at this declaration, leaving Aurelius jarred by the combination of the weird smile and… slang.

  “So, we’re going to get coffee first, and see to how we should approach your… potential growth.” Mr. Tona declared, as he pushed the door open with magic.

  Aurelius was definitely all for the former sage’s laid back attitude, and the mention of coffee did much to motivate him.

  “Err, will you be paying?” Aurelius asked, eyebrows raised, hoping he would say yes.

  “No wallet, huh. How about I put it on your tab?” The sage replied, his eyes twinkling in amusement.

  Aurelius immediately became turned off by his offer. Owing money for frivolous purchases was a crime in the eyes of an accountant!

  “No thank you. I’ll get my wallet from the dorm on the way.” Aurelius politely declined.

  “Also, what shop are we going to that sells coffee at 6 AM?” Aurelius asked, slightly curious as to their destination.

  This earned Aurelius a scrutinising gaze, as the former sage genuinely looked taken aback.

  “What? Have you never woken up at this hour before? You do realise that Tlacualtzin is an adventuring hub, right?”

  “The taverns serve drinks for the adventurers setting off in the morning from 4 AM, and there are plenty of shops who open exclusively in the morning just to serve these adventurers!”

  With that, he used magic to push Aurelius out of the door, along with another one of his insufferable quips.

  “Ladies first!”