Burnout did something strange to reality.

  John didn’t notice when the rain stopped.

  He didn’t notice when the alley faded.

  He didn’t notice when the Grunge Universe quietly unplugged itself.

  One moment he was leaning against a brick wall.

  The next—

  he was sitting in a chair.

  A very comfortable chair.

  Soft lighting glowed from every direction. The air smelled like lavender and fresh pastries. Gentle instrumental music floated through the room like it had been carefully approved by a committee.

  John opened one eye.

  “Where am I.”

  A smiling woman in pastel clothes appeared instantly.

  “Oh my goodness!” she said brightly. “You must be new!”

  John stared at her.

  “Uh.”

  She clasped her hands.

  “We’re so excited you’re here!”

  John blinked.

  “Are you.”

  “Absolutely!”

  Another person hurried over.

  “We value your presence tremendously!”

  A third person leaned in.

  “You are completely valid!”

  John looked around.

  Everyone was smiling.

  Huge smiles.

  Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  The kind that hurt your face after ten seconds.

  Nobody stopped smiling.

  Nobody blinked wrong.

  Nobody said anything negative.

  A cosmic notification appeared politely above his head.

  REALITY LAYER DETECTED

  PERFORMATIVE KINDNESS UNIVERSE

  John groaned quietly.

  “Oh no.”

  The message continued.

  CORE RULE

  Kindness = PowerInsincerity = VictoryAuthenticity = Failure

  John squinted.

  “That sounds dangerous.”

  A cheerful host appeared with a clipboard.

  “Welcome to the Kindness Games!”

  John rubbed his forehead.

  “You have games here too?”

  “Oh yes!” the host said happily. “We compete to be the most supportive, affirming, uplifting people imaginable!”

  The crowd applauded enthusiastically.

  John raised a finger.

  “So if someone’s actually nice—”

  The host shook his head.

  “Oh no, genuine kindness is extremely rude.”

  The cosmic message flashed.

  AUTHENTICITY PENALTY ACTIVE

  John sighed.

  “Of course it is.”

  The first round began immediately.

  Two contestants faced each other.

  Contestant A smiled brightly.

  “You are the most talented person I’ve ever met!”

  Contestant B bowed deeply.

  “Oh please, I could never compare to your incredible brilliance!”

  The scoreboard flashed.

  PERFORMATIVE KINDNESS LEVEL: 78%

  The crowd cheered.

  John watched.

  “Okay,” he said slowly. “I get it.”

  The trick wasn’t being nice.

  It was performing niceness.

  John stepped forward.

  “Next contestant!”

  The host beamed.

  “Oh wonderful! John, right?”

  John nodded.

  “Yep.”

  His opponent walked forward.

  A woman with the most aggressively polite smile John had ever seen.

  She spoke first.

  “John, your aura is absolutely radiant!”

  John smiled back.

  “Oh wow, thank you so much for noticing!”

  The crowd leaned in.

  The scoreboard flickered.

  PERFORMATIVE LEVEL: 42%

  The woman continued.

  “You must have such an inspiring life journey!”

  John nodded enthusiastically.

  “Oh totally! Your emotional intelligence is incredible!”

  The scoreboard jumped.

  PERFORMATIVE LEVEL: 61%

  The woman doubled down.

  “You are clearly a deeply thoughtful individual!”

  John clasped his hands dramatically.

  “Oh my gosh, I feel so seen right now!”

  The crowd gasped.

  PERFORMATIVE LEVEL: 82%

  The host whispered.

  “This is excellent sportsmanship.”

  The woman tried one more move.

  “John, you deserve every good thing that will ever happen to you!”

  John leaned forward slightly.

  “Thank you! And you deserve credit for inspiring me to grow as a person!”

  The scoreboard exploded with sparkles.

  PERFORMATIVE LEVEL: 100%

  The crowd erupted into applause.

  The woman’s smile cracked slightly.

  “How did you do that?”

  John shrugged.

  “Practice.”

  The cosmic notification appeared.

  RESULT: PLAYER VICTORY

  The crowd lifted John onto their shoulders.

  “You’re so humble!” someone shouted.

  “You’re such an inspiration!” another person cried.

  John smiled politely.

  “Thanks.”

  Then he muttered under his breath.

  “This is exhausting.”

  Above the cheering crowd, the cosmic message flickered again.

  Because the House had just discovered something troubling.

  John Six Aces didn’t just adapt to new rules.

  He adapted quickly.

  Too quickly.

  And the House was beginning to run out of universes where the games could still work.