It has only been a day since Marak left, and already I’m unprepared. I have a while to get ready, yet I am still not prepared. Here I am, the Regent of the South and the one to lead everyone. Unsure how to lead anyone when they need someone the most.

  By goodness, it’s surreal, like more weight is placed on my shoulders. What if I mess up? Will I need to step down when the time calls for it? I don’t know what to do if I make the wrong choice. Hell, what can I even do if I make the right one?

  Syndy notices me pacing around our room, she rolls her eyes before she walks up to me with a comforting smile. ‘You’re drifting again. What’s wrong?’

  ‘I… uh, I’m not sure,’ I stutter. I try to speak my mind, but Syndy hushes me while she gently reaches for my hand to grab it.

  ‘Slow down, take a deep breath, and tell me.’ She says to me with a concerned tone, yet also being a pleasant and calming presence.

  My thoughts clear as I take a heavy breath. ‘I feel nervous. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know if I am good enough for this. I wonder if I should even be here.’

  Syndy nods to me, and before she replies to me, she fixes my shirt and straightens it out for me. It seems my anxiety made me look like a mess.

  ‘I would be nervous too.’ She calmly says. ‘Anyone in your position would be.’

  ‘Yeah, but Marak makes it look so easy.’

  ‘But you are not Marak. Never compare yourself to others and expect yourself to be like them. You’re different, you always were. You can’t be too hard on yourself when you have never done this before.’

  I chuckle, ‘now you make it sound easy.’

  Syndy raises a brow, ‘and you make things look more difficult than they should be.’ She pulls me closer to give me a peck on the right cheek. ‘You’ll do great, you always do. If there is anyone who can make the world a better place, it will be you.’

  My lips form a false smile to hide my own doubt. I don’t know how I can even achieve it or if I can bring change to the world. This all feels sudden, a dream that feels wrong yet is totally real. But she is also right; if anyone can bring change, it will have to be me.

  ‘So, do you feel better?’ She asks me with a grin.

  With a warm smile, I kiss her on the forehead. ‘A lot better. Do you?’

  ‘I’m growing a parasite, I always feel awful.’ She jokes. I laugh a little, but only to make her feel better.

  Without anything else to say, I dust myself before heading off to the throne room. Syndy waves me off, though I know it won’t be long before she returns to the forge to work on something. I can tell her to stay home and relax, but I think it will be best if I focus on one problem at a time.

  Even when I arrive early, Thorgan and Max wait for me. Max glares at me like I am the one late to the meeting in the throne room. Though I can tell they don’t enjoy each other’s company, as Thorgan keeps his distance from Max while he makes sure his back is never turned to her.

  Max, meanwhile, does her usual thing and wears an extravagant dress with her army’s flag of a green snake proudly on the left silver shoulder pad. Not even caring that Thorgan is clearly uncomfortable near her.

  I sit on the throne, thinking that it is some sort of ritual before we get to work. They both look at me in confusion, like I am meant to say something to start the meeting.

  ‘Okay,’ I awkwardly announce. ‘This is the first time we're running things without Marak. So, before we do anything or I make a decision, let’s figure out what is on our agenda.’

  Max shakes her head as she chuckles to herself. ‘Well, Marak and his army took a lot of our food supplies.’ She replies in a mocking tone. ‘We still have the Cinari to deal with, so I think we have a lot on our agenda. The people will grow restless soon, and I don’t want to waste theirs or my time before you come up with something.’

  Subtle as always, while she isn’t wrong that we have a lot to deal with, she is never the person who cares about the issues that will affect the civilians. She is in charge of the military, yet she mentions nothing about whether she needs more aid or supplies or if we are undefended or ill-prepared in some areas. I can only assume she is only leaving it now so she can perhaps use my words or choices against me.

  ‘We are all aware of the food shortages,’ I calmly reply, not showing any emotion or a hint of frustration. ‘So far we need to ration our food…’

  ‘Ration!’ Max announces with a grin, ‘just don’t feed the Cinari. We have enough food to look after our own to last the winter. We don’t need to feed the vermin.’

  ‘That will not happen.’

  Max’s grin shifts to scorn. ‘Why not!’

  The answer should be obvious. The prolonged and unnecessary suffering towards the Cinari shouldn’t happen. How can we make amends if we are pushing them into the dirt and acting the same way they did towards us? We should strive to be better than them, not become them.

  However, that won’t work for Max. She is blinded by her own hate towards their kind, so I can’t reach for her empathy to show her that we should share our food with the Cinari.

  ‘Because they are necessary for our development.’ I vaguely argue. ‘We need to learn how to farm and manage crops; killing them off now will only cause issues further down the line. Not just that, but by giving them food, they are less likely to revolt against us.’

  ‘I grew up on a plantation, Alex.’ She growls. ‘I doubt we need to learn from them on what they’ve already taught us.’

  ‘They haven’t taught us the science behind it and the logistical means to feed an entire region. That is what we need to learn. Growing food is just one aspect of farming and feeding our people.

  Thorgan nods to my argument. ‘He has a point. For now, we need them, and we can’t deal with them if they do revolt against us. Marak’s success can be replicated by them under the right circumstances, only this time we are worse off than them. We don’t need to appease them, but we can’t make them suffer unnecessarily either.’

  Glad that I have someone in agreement.

  Max scoffs; she isn’t interested in their welfare. ‘Then we cull them before they become a problem. We’ll even get some food out of it.’

  ‘That’ll just worsen things between us and the Cinari.’ I respond to her barbaric suggestion. ‘If they figure out they are being culled, they’ll take up arms and we’ll have to face them.’

  ‘Nor should they be given the same amount of food as us. The moment they put us in chains is the moment they forfeit their right to live, and I will not change that stance any other way.’

  ‘So we look elsewhere.’ Thorgan says to Max while leaning on his walking staff. ‘There are people outside of this island, nations and such. Maybe we can get food from them?’

  That… that might work. Ever since we took control of the South, the Cinari Marak kept as Verns detailed a world outside of our island. About different kingdoms and nations. This might not just help us with our current food issue. Perhaps this can be an opportunity to get us additional resources.

  But I doubt it will garner much success, as no one from the outside world contacted us. Maybe they are waiting for us to call them? I can’t tell, it is a long shot, but one that is better than nothing.

  Max rolls her eyes and speaks to Thorgan in a mocking tone. ‘You want to trade? Trade what? We lost a good chunk of our boats trying to figure out the safest path north, so we can’t go to them, we don’t have anything of value, and for all we know. All this will do is open ourselves up to the enemy. There are far too many risks and not enough rewards to justify it.’

  ‘Then we figure it out!’ Thorgan spits back. ‘It is a proposed solution that doesn’t just help with the food problem, but it can also help us in the long term. If we are going to become a respected nation, we might have to trade with them in the future.’

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  ‘And how do you know this?’ Max rests her hand on her left hip. Near her concealed dagger.

  I can point that out and warn Thorgan or calm Max down, but I don’t believe it is as simple as that. If I notice her reaching for her weapon, it might be obvious enough that the old man will know. A threat or a warning to force Thorgan to explain himself.

  ‘It’s what the Cinari did, and it worked for them for a time.’ Thorgan waits for Max to pull her dagger out, but it seems she is happy with his response, even if she will continue to threaten him. ‘We can emulate some of their successes, trading for anything valuable for food.’

  Max crosses her arms as if she is satisfied with his response. Well, I hope she is at least. She is a theatrical sort of person, and might make Thorgan’s death both public and personal. She isn’t a person who is easy to read about what she will do next.

  I raise my hand to gain their attention. ‘We will hold off trading for now. I believe that to prevent a famine, we will need to put the idea on the table. However, I can’t risk trading some of our more valuable resources and weapons if we can prevent it. In the meantime, it would be best to figure out how the world sees us before we interact with them.’

  With a gentle smile, Max bows in a mock gesture of approval. ‘Glad we can come to an agreement on something.’

  Good, she seems settled down. ‘If there is nothing else that needs to be said on the topic, we should move on. Max, is there anything I need to know about the military?’

  Max looks over to Thorgan, eyeing him for a moment before she responds to me. ‘Nothing to report.’ An obvious lie, but one I have to pretend I am satisfied with. I’ll need to talk to her about it in private.

  ‘In that case, we might as well get on with our work. Thorgan, since you suggested the trade solution, I’ll want you to find anything that can potentially be worth trading and who might be open to trade. But before you do that, announce that we will need to ration our food as winter approaches.’

  Max huffs to herself before storming off, ‘I’ll get to my station.’

  A rude way to leave, but I suppose it could’ve gone worse. Thorgan staggers towards me; from his expression, even he is less than impressed with Max’s attitude.

  ‘And what will you do?’ He asks me.

  ‘Figure her out mostly, and see what other problems we might be facing.’

  Thorgan nods, ‘keep an eye on her. She is always up to something.’

  I chuckle before I make my leave to find Max, ‘my friend, she is always up to something.’

  I am lucky enough not to waste time finding Max. She’s in the war room, talking to one of her scouts. I don’t know the context of their conversation, but I can only assume they are talking about the North. Or perhaps something about how our army is doing, since now most of their comrades are up north fighting.

  ‘… near the fort, but I have no clue what they are doing.’ The scout reports.

  Max notices me, and she glares for a moment before she returns to her conversation with the scout. ‘Bring them here, I'd like to have a chat with their leader.’

  The scout nods as they head off, leaving me and Max alone in the room.

  ‘What do you want, Alex? I have a job to do and I don’t want you to waste my time.’

  ‘I’ll do that once you are honest with me.’ I quip after I close the door behind me. ‘I know you lied to me back in the throne room, and I want to know why.’

  Max smirks, as if she is amused that I notice her deception. ‘As if you are not planning something behind everyone’s back. I have no intention to be open to you about anything.’

  ‘That is not how it…’

  ‘It is how it will go.’ Max interrupts me as she slams the table with both of her hands. ‘Why should I trust someone who has a soft spot for the Cinari? Why should I be transparent to someone who will defend the reprehensible? I struggle to understand why Marak will choose you to be in charge of the South, but that won’t mean I will blindly follow you.’

  ‘Working against me will not get us anywhere,’ I carefully respond. Knowing that she will be a difficult person to work with. But she should know that working against each other will achieve nothing but potentially cause strife.

  Max, in response, laughs at me. ‘I am not working against you, I am keeping an eye on you! I know you will do everything in your power to help the knife-eared beasts, and I will do everything in my power to not let it happen.’

  She walks up to my face, while I tower over her, twice her size. She knows I can’t do anything to her. Her imposing presence makes me feel uneasy, making me want to take a step back as she is right up to me. But I know that if I do that, I let her know that she has power over me. So, against my own intuition, I stand in place as I stop myself from doing or saying something stupid.

  ‘We have the same goals,’ Max continues. ‘But my goals don’t include them in our vision.’

  I straighten my posture, ‘threatening me won’t get you anywhere.’

  ‘It’s not a threat, it’s a warning. We fought against them because of what they did to us, and yet you gave them mercy.’ She walks around to open the door and gestures for me to leave.

  ‘So, how will Marak think of this?’

  Max raises a brow, ‘think of what?’

  ‘Your insubordination. You are clearly refusing to work with me, even when Marak chose me to be the Regent of the South in his absence. Sounds like you are doubting his leadership more than anything, as if you think he is incompetent.’

  ‘I don’t doubt…’

  ‘Shut up!’ I silence her before she can finish. She eyes me with a vicious gaze as she lowers her legs to make herself ready to spring into action. ‘Regardless of what you think of me, a lot more people trust and even respect Marak’s decision to put me in charge. You're challenging that will be treason against our king, and I don’t believe anyone will help you or like it when someone goes against his wishes. It will be best if you do as you're told and obey my orders and work with me. If we are to survive the winter, you need to be a part of this. Not separate. Understand?’

  While it is true that her going against me will be treasonous, I doubt it will stop her from doing anything in her power to stop me. But regardless of all of that, it doesn’t matter if it is treasonous or not if she overthrows me. What is true is that change to bring peace will be difficult, and I can’t do it all at once. She is an advocate for Cinair death and enslavement, but there will be other people just like her. So I have to bring changes in steps, to do it slowly but significant enough that the Cinari won’t suffer as much.

  Max frowns, ‘are you finished?’

  I make my way out of the room, wanting to make my intentions clear that I cannot be bullied by her easily.

  ‘Helping the Cinari also goes against what Marak wants.’ Max continues, ‘and if you go against him. I will personally hang that forge master myself before I kill you.’ She slams the door on me. A final fuck you she can give before it devolves into a shouting match.

  Fine, I’ll accept that. I’ll walk down the hall and be as far away from that bitch as possible so I can catch a breath. The pounding of my chest settles, the itch on my mind finally becoming silent. I know that this job won’t be easy, I just wish it didn’t mean that I have to deal with her as a potential problem.