When we entered the doorway at the bottom of the stairs a light flashed and we were teleported away. We materialized in a medium sized, circular room with minimalist but upscale decor. In the center was a counter with a cooking station behind it. A large, roundish creature with grey, rocky skin worked on a flat-top grill roasting meat and vegetables. My mouth started watering immediately; the last ration bar was wearing off and I hadn’t had real food in almost five days now. I didn’t know what exactly was cooking but the smell was intoxicating.
“Welcome,” he said, his voice deep and gravely. “You are in a production vessel of Glory Entertainment. You have been pulled from the dungeon to participate in the production of Combat Deep Dives with Bartholomew Burk. We are currently in low-orbit over your home planet. Your segment of the show will begin in twenty minutes. The segment will last for approximately two hours, after which you will be returned to the dungeon. My name is Strogrum, I will see to your needs until that time. There are facilities you may use should you desire to freshen up.”
Cascadia was staring at me and I was staring at the food.
“Is that for us?”
“Of course. Food is complimentary, as are the parting gifts.”
I started to step forward but Cascadia put her hand on my shoulder.
“Our game guide told us a little bit about this. What will our participation look like?”
“We have some VIPs that have traveled close enough to participate in a live panel. You will participate in discussions about dungeon combat tactics and related topics. The show does not have the same reach as some other, less focused programs, but our fans are very committed. Participation will be to your benefit.”
I tried to slip free from Cascadia’s grip but her hand was like a hydraulic vice. The alien grinned at me.
“Is there anything that would be good to know about the show before we go on?” Cascadia asked.
“Viewers don’t have access to the general feed until the second floor and we were not allowed to show any recordings of your activities until now, so this will be the audience's first time seeing you. You may be asked for some small demonstrations. You retain access to all of your abilities but you will not be able to access your menus, including your inventory. Bartholomew and I are really here, but the other participants are attending virtually, so they cannot hurt you nor your them. Only the guests actually participating in the discussion are real, the rest are simulated. Also, the show will be done in zero-g. It’s a tradition for new guests.”
He plated the fragrant meat and veggies and pushed them towards us.
“Please, eat. I am an excellent cook and the food will provide a minor short term buff.”
Cascadia’s hand remained like a shackle on my shoulder.
“Why couldn’t you show recordings of us? They show footage of crawlers every day on the recap and the rest of the show, I assume.”
He motioned to the ceiling with his eyes.
“I am not at liberty to discuss that. All I can say is that we received a discount on the contract for your appearances because we agreed to delay releasing the episode until the show runners and the syndicate release the provisional hold on recordings of you, with the understanding that said release is not guaranteed.”
That should have felt ominous but I honestly just didn’t care, I only had eyes for the food.
“Let me go Cas!”
“Focus Gel. We need to find out more about this provisional hold.”
“Relax. It’s not like there is anything we can do about it now. Strogram here obviously can’t tell us any more than he just did and we can’t exactly call up the syndicate and ask about our status. So let’s just sit down and enjoy a meal before the show.”
She did not loosen her grip.
“The floor’s not over Gel.”
“Yes it is,” I said, struggling against her grip. “The item description said that we had to eat only ration bars while the first floor. We descended! We aren’t on the first floor anymore, it’s over!”
“No, it said we had to eat only ration bars an entire floor, which hasn’t happened yet. And stop arguing with me because if we had gotten the boost, I would be able to feel it. And we haven’t.”
I slumped my shoulders mock defeat, getting her to loosen her grip.
“Look,” she said. “After we get back we ca-“
I wrenched out of her grip and dashed towards the food. I was on my second step when my feet went flying out from under me. She pinned me to the floor, kneeling on my back.
“Look big bro, there are less than ten hours left, eight of which we’ll hopefully spend sleeping. You are getting that plus five boost.”
“Please, it doesn’t even matter,” I begged from my pinned position. “By the time we get to the fourth or fifth floors our stats will be so high the plus five won’t even matter. Pleeeeaase.”
“Oh yeah? Did Jasper tell you that? Did he mention how high our stats would get?”
“….Yeah, he did.”
“Funny, cause I don’t remember that. What I remember is him saying how powerful the item was and how it might unlock unique race and class options.”
I made no reply.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Sit tight brother. We’ll get through this.”
I collapsed into the floor, dejected.
Strogrum rumbled with laughter.
“I’ll hold this against you Cascadia. I expected you to resist but I bet fifty credits Gellen would eat.”
“You just need to learn how to think properly about bets when I am involved. You’ll figure it out.”
He laughed again.
“I better. Bartholomew doesn’t pay me enough to be losing bets.”
He ate the food while Cascadia kept an eye on me. When it was time, he led us up a staircase and through a trapdoor in the ceiling. We entered a small staging area. He wished us good luck and retreated back down. As soon as he shut the door the gravity shut off and the entrance to the filming area opened. Zero gravity obstacle racing was one of the nine enneathlon events and for the first time in my life I was jealous of Cascadia’s training. I flapped my arms idiotically as I lifted slowly off the ground. Cascadia kicked off gracefully to the entrance, stopping herself with her hands to look out. She pushed back down to me and grabbed me by the jacket.
“Just hold your body rigid,” she said before she gave me a firm push towards the hole. I failed to follow her instructions and clipped the side, entering the large spherical recording chamber in a spin. I was immediately hit with an aggressive wave of vertigo as I took in the spinning room.
The walls were covered with people, maybe a few hundred, strapped into place. In the center of the room was a table like structure that included what appeared to be firmly attached seating pods. The structure slowly rotated and there were five individuals seated around it. They all turned to face me, and the host, a large, four armed, humanoid turtle creature raised his arms and spoke.
“Welcome, for the first time this season, Crawer Gellen!” A spotlight shone on my clumsily spinning body. The virtual crowd responded with a mixture of polite claps and chuckles.
“And!…..”
There was a moment of stillness, and then Cascadia launched out of the entryway, staff in hand and twirling gracefully. She must have attached her adhesion disc somewhere because she somehow came to a stop in the center of the room. The crowd erupted into oohs, ahhs, and cheers. The main structure the panelists were seated at had some long dangling ropes attached and the host tossed them to Cascadia and I. Cascadia gave a single pull and glided over to a seat, gracefully settling herself in. I pulled too hard and smashed into my pod before clambering into it. If I had eaten before, I surely would have thrown up.
There were some ropes and belts in the seats, and I used one to strap myself in securely. I examined the host closer. Bartholomew had a bipedal form with four human-like arms and hands but largely terrapene features otherwise. His upper arms were massive but the lower ones were spindly. He wore black rimmed spectacles.
“I am thrilled to have you on the show today. And just to clarify for the viewers at home, I did not arrange that entrance sequence. Consider that a first taste of what you are going to get to see if you follow this crawler. Now, I know we haven’t shown you any scenes of these crawlers yet this season, but we are about to change that. We have prepared a highlight reel to introduce you to today’s guests. After the highlight reel we will proceed to the battle review segment, where we will discuss specific combat sequences chosen by today’s panel. I will take this opportunity to remind you that the lottery for panel participation for the second and third floors has closed, so if you want the chance to join the conversation, make sure you submit your bids for the lower floors as soon as possible. After battle review we will move on to the macro tactics segment, where we will discuss engagement doctrine and build strategy. As always, I, Bartholomew Burk, will be moderating the discussion.
“And that’s about enough foreplay, let’s get to it!”
A set of screens appeared and we watched a ten minute compilation of combat scenes from our time on the first floor. They were all shown in wide frame view with slow motion on the more intricate portions of the fights. The virtual crowd oohed and aahed but the actual panelists watched the scenes silently with an intense focus. There was an orc, a human, a grey, and a mudskipper.
This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
The orc looked nothing like any orcs I had ever seen on the show. I had not watched any season on an orc planet so I had only ever seen the monstrous orc npcs. This orc was small, shorter than me and with a build no bigger than Cascadia. He wore a top-knot, wide glasses, a stylish side-buttoning shirt, and flowy trousers. The human looked to be a middle aged woman with messy hair and nice but wrinkled office clothes. The grey wore a nondescript jump suit and had zero features that gave me any insight about them. The kua-tin was in a human-sized mech-style power suit. I looked at Cascadia; she was watching the screen with as much focus as them.
I had never seen this program before, there were tens of thousands of them, but the fact that we were here was a very good sign. As far as I could tell, early show participation correlated directly with popularity and viewership. As long as the show runners didn’t decide to keep us artificially suppressed, this would give us a huge boost on later floors.
The highlight reel ended with our first borough boss battle, the scene freezing on Cascadia hovering in the air holding the squid-lion head.
“All right,” Bartholomew said, “Now that you’ve got a feel for our guests and have seen at least a portion of all of their major battles, we can get into things. First choice goes to you, Mark,” he said, pointing to the grey with his upper arms.
The small alien steepled his fingers, reclining in his pod.
“I’d like to start with that last scene. Can we play back the last sequence, starting right after the drone successfully delivered the adhesion disc.”
The scene played again, this time with numbers and text showing stats, damage, skills, and so on. The screen paused right as Cascadia killed the boss by breaking its neck. Mark spoke.
“Firstly, I’d like to say that your usage of the gravity coupling skill is brilliant. It is a rare skill, but nonetheless, this was one of the best utilizations of it I have ever seen. Certainly it was the most impressive considering that it is still the first floor and the skill is level one. In one sequence you used it to increase your horizontal speed and gain access to vertical space, then repositioned it and used it again for a speed boost and as a damage enhancer on your grappling finisher. Remarkable, and a stunning display of prowess. You even seem to have used an understanding of boss monster post-mortem mechanics to pull off that stylish ending pose. While a bit over the top for my taste, it demonstrates insight and a flair for showmanship.
“However, I do wish to question your decision to attempt to finish the boss battle with an unarmed maneuver. While your unarmed damage is much better than average, your axe, or even your psi-blade, deals much higher damage. What was your motivation there? Are you aiming for a hybrid build and trying to keep your unarmed skill ranks rising? Or was it just for the spectacle?”
Cascadia looked at the host, who nodded for her to speak.
“Well Mark, you're not wrong on either account, but neither was my primary motivation. This was our first borough boss battle and immediate survival was the only key decision driver. The axe and wrist-blade are strong, yes, and I had been using them well, but at that time I was still relatively unfamiliar with them. I came into the dungeon with a strong background in both unarmed and staff fighting. My original plan was to use the staff to activate Seismic Smash and then follow up by slamming him into the ground, but the staff broke during my vault to reach the boss. After that, there was no time to think and my first instincts are still to use my most familiar weapons. In hindsight, I think it was actually the best tactical decision; keeping the boss off the turret was critical and if I had failed to kill him with a weapon in one hit, he might have evaded me, giving the lionesses time to turn the fight.”
“I don’t think so. The turret was a non-factor once you reached the boss. Your party members would not have been able to reach you in time to provide aid had you needed it, they certainly wouldn’t have been able to get there before the lionesses. The tactically sound decision would have been to draw your axe and engage the boss, even at the cost of time.”
“No, absolutely not. Drawing the axe takes time and the boss was literally flying through the air. If I tried to strike him with the axe and didn’t kill him he would have fallen to the ground and might have been able to escape me, allowing his minions access to me, and as you noted they would have gotten there faster than Gel and Jasper and I would have been overwhelmed. The way I did it the boss had no chance to escape. Even if I hadn’t killed him so quickly, he couldn't flee while I had a grip on him.”
The discussion went on like this. The panelists all joined in with their viewpoints and Bartholomew gave each panelist a chance to select a different battle. I had little to add, but I participated when asked for an opinion.
“Ok ok,” Bartholomew said, interrupting a heated discussion on how we should have handled the lizard fight in the factory. “It’s time to move on to the next segment. That first part took a little longer than anticipated so we are going to get right in to build strategy. Gellen, it’s pretty clear that you are attempting to build around that operator spike, but we’ve also seen your vulnerability to melee enemies get you into trouble. Are you planning to shore up your physical abilities at all? Or are you going all in on remote operation?”
“I um…I don’t think there is much point in trying to develop my physical skills. I’d rather focus on my strengths, which right now are my turret and drones. If I could get some sort of power suit, like the old guy on the recap show, that would be nice though.”
Mindy, the human spoke up.
“A mech build is a terrible idea. Mech builds require extreme investment in at least two of dexterity, engineering, and money, preferably all three. You have none of those. And there is very poor synergy with a point defense turret and your remote operator skills., mechs usually utilize autonomous support drones for a reason. You do need to enhance your survivability, but not with a power suit. You should focus on personal shielding, maybe even building towards a technolitch coffin solution.”
The “technolitch coffin” displayed on the screen; it was an ultra reinforced coffin that enhanced certain abilities used from within the coffin. I didn’t consider myself claustrophobic but the idea was not appealing. The panel argued about the ideal build for me. Not everyone was in agreement but the general consensus was that I should focus on drones for offense and utility and come up with some sort of defensive solution. There were several race options that could help that I would need to be on the lookout for. The conversation then moved to Cascadia, with the bulk of the discussion centering on whether she should focus on melee or not.
“The style question is irrelevant. It’s clear that she can maintain the style requirements with conventional ranged weapons,” the orc was saying. “That was made clear even from the limited material we have seen. This will be doubly true with some of the more advanced hybrid systems that will be available to her later. The question is, why do you prefer melee weapons?”
“Four points,” Cascadia was fully engaged with the discussion. “One, you're wrong about style. Yes, I can make guns stylish because I can make anything stylish, but it is simply not possible to reach the same levels of style with guns that you can with melee weapons.”
The orc rolled his eyes but did not interrupt.
“Two, familiarity. We’ve already discussed my training history and I have years of relevant experience. Even considering the enhanced skill acquisition in the dungeon I would be losing out on synergy with my existing skill base. Three, Gel and Parson already do the gun type things. Someone needs to be capable of getting their hands dirty. And four, feedback. Feel. When I strike something there is an unbroken kinetic chain from the direct physical manifestation of my will to the target of my ire. The power goes from the mind to the limbs, generating energy and transferring it through my actual body, directly into the opponent. You can strike with the . You can’t shoot with your soul.
“And a bonus fifth. Synergy with my two best dungeon skills, gravity coupling and friction manipulation. I can use them with ranged weapons but just as mobility aids. It’s not the same. I wouldn’t use them as much and they wouldn’t level like they could. And I like them.”
“Well that settles it,” the orc said. “Strategy is important but all action must be driven by passion. Her passion is clear. She should target a monk class. Perhaps a shield monk, or a burrowing monk. She could probably get powerful strike, talon strike, and nova suplex to level twelve by the fifth floor, unlocking compounding damage combo chains.”
“You make astute observations but your conclusion is flawed,” Mark chimed in. “Cascadia’s passion has already nearly gotten Gel killed. It’s a shame we’ve run out of time to discuss battle doctrine because it is very relevant here. A melee build could work. I don’t discount the potential upsides, but there is something no one has mentioned yet, particularly important for a small party. If you take a low intelligence, impulsive, crawler and give them no option but engaging opponents point blank, they will get their party or themselves killed. Or both.”
Cascadia’s face had gone dark but the grey continued.
“We’ve seen it multiple times already and it’s only the first floor. The squidopotamus, the turtle, the crocodilian that took Gel’s hand. Cascadia can’t responsibly handle a melee only build. The only shot they have at surviving is if she takes a ra-Ack!“
Cascadia’s axe buried itself in the grey’s seating pod, appearing to be sticking out of his chest. Cascadia floated over to the grey, looming over him to pull out her axe, then yanking on a tethering cord to return to her seat.
“Sorry,” she said. “Poor impulse control.”
“Well,” he said, regaining composure. “That just proves my point doesn’t it.”
“I don’t think it does,” said the power suit wearing Kua-tin. Her voice came through a voice modulator and sounded feminine, but ridiculously deep and luxurious. “I would like to make a point that has been overlooked in the discussion so far. Cascadia, your existing melee experience requires neither focused effort to optimally utilize nor avoidance to reduce risk and increase party tactical cohesiveness. It should be viewed as an opportunity to focus on building your ranged and technological weapons skills without having the kind of glaring weaknesses that Gellen has. You have, during your previous life and the length of the first floor, built a powerful foundation that allows you to pursue an extremely versatile, tactically flexible build. Your starting stats and skills would support some uncommon and traditionally very difficult classes and builds. I’m thinking something like the berserker sentinel commando, or a chaos trooper with a grappling subclass.”
Soon after this, Bartholomew brought the discussion to a close.
“And that’s all the time we have for discussion today. Thank you panelists, and thank you Cascadia and Gellen. Let’s end with a parting gift for our guest!”
A set of drones brought each of us a small package. The panelists received what seemed to be high-tech trading cards of me and Cascadia. We obliged the request to give each of them a biometric scan with their cards, which apparently increased the value greatly. Cascadia and I also received cards. These cards summoned a trainer who would increase our skill level in a relevant skill of our choice by one with fifteen minutes of training. Cascadia’s was combat themed and mine was drone themed. We had one day to use it before it expired.
“And that’s it! In our next segment we will be taking a closer look at the changes to environmental damage scaling this season and discussing what opportunities the changes may bring!”
An outro played and everyone disappeared except for Bartholomew. Without a word he launched from his seat towards the exit, motioning for us to follow. Cascadia grabbed my arm and sent us neatly after him. He was waiting in the tiny staging area, between the room we had entered and the zero gravity chamber. We squeezed in and the door shut. Bartholomew started talking quickly.
“We have forty five seconds of unmonitored time, listen carefully and speak quickly. Are you cheating?”
This was completely out of left field, but he had a very strong personality and I responded without thinking.
“No but I got access to crawl footage two years ago.”
“I knew it,” Cascadia muttered.
“Good. They are not teleporting you to the second floor after this. I assume this means you will be sent to a liaison for review. Do you know what to do?”
I had been afraid of this, but it wasn’t surprising.
“Yes”
“Ok. I want you to work for the show after the dungeon,” he said to Cascadia. “You are perfect for my audience, we’ve been watching you since the first borough boss fight. We can’t sign contracts during the dungeon but, in good faith, I will do everything I can to get you out. We will sponsor both of you and drive fan boxes your way. We will also maximize the value of show gifts. I hope you will consider the offer.”
Cascadia stared intently at the turtle man as he continued.
“As for actual class and race advice, the official lists have not been released yet so there isn’t much to say. Just try to get your skills as high as you can to unlock as many options as possible. Those ration bars may actually be the most powerful items you got, depending on how the options turn out. And just in case we don’t get to talk before race selection, Cascadia you need to stay conventionally attractive. That means no tentacles, no snake heads, no lumps and for the love of the Gods no hooves. Subtle horns or scales are fine. Paws…maybe. Gel you can do whatever you want. Ok times up. Go.”
He opened the door and pushed us out, following behind. Strogram was in the room, watching something on a handheld screen. He looked up and waved to us right before we were teleported away.
