“What happened?” Valerie’s concern grew when I struggled to respond.

  She froze for half a second as her gaze flicked over my damp hair, my rigid posture, my shaking hands. She quickly dropped her coat and rushed over, clasping her warm hands around mine.

  I hated that I had the urge to flinch away.

  “I-I was…” I tried, but the words lodged in my throat, refusing to come out. I swallowed hard and tried again.

  “I was… outside… He a-attacked me on m-my way back…” My breath shook as I forced the words out. “I couldn’t breathe… I-I had to… there was b-blood everywhere.”

  My eyes drifted to my hands. They were clean, but I could see the blood staining them.

  Valerie inhaled sharply and wrapped her arms around me in a warm embrace. At least, it should have been warm.

  I only felt cold, empty, like none of this was real. Like my own mind was slipping away from me.

  “Nyxia, look at me. Are you okay? You’re not hurt?” She asked sternly, pulling back and gently cupping my face in her hands, forcing me to meet her gaze.

  I drew in a shaky breath and shook my head, my eyes filling with tears again. I didn’t know what to feel. Any thought I had felt like wading through murky water.

  “I-I’m not hurt. I’m fine,” I managed, but I knew that was a lie. My throat still ached where his hands had clamped around my airway. My hands started shaking uncontrollably as the memory of him choking the life out of me flashed unbidden before my eyes.

  She winced as her gaze traveled across the bruises. But she didn’t say anything as she gently reached for one of the nearby blankets and wrapped it around us like a cocoon. I finally felt a tinge of warmth begin to spread through me as I surrendered to her embrace.

  “You don’t have to say anything right now,” she whispered in my ear as she held me tight, “You’re safe now. I’m here.”

  ———

  I must’ve fallen asleep. Valerie and I lay curled up under the warm blankets on the couch. Her slow, steady breathing was a quiet rhythm that calmed me more than I wanted to admit.

  I yawned and rubbed the sleep from my bleary eyes as I sat up, careful not to wake Valerie. The blanket slipped off my shoulders, and a faint chill crawled across my scales.

  I hadn’t realized how heavy the mental toll of taking another’s life was. The frantic struggle for survival, the cold numbing shock that followed…

  For a long moment I just sat there.

  My body felt heavy, my mind… distant. Like I was trapped in a fog.

  You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

  Even breathing felt wrong, like his hands were still clamped around my throat, choking the life out of me as I hung there helplessly.

  I rubbed my neck unconsciously, but felt no evidence that the events of yesterday even transpired. The nanites must have fixed me up while I slept.

  I stood and walked to the window to clear my head.

  I cracked it open, letting the cold, polluted air drift inside.

  The veritable sea of neon stung at my tired eyes as I gazed across the city.

  The usual sounds I’d grown to expect touched my ears, completely indifferent to the fact that I’d killed someone last night.

  If I closed my eyes, I could see a beautiful blue sky filled with swirling white clouds. Warm sunlight filtering through them, softly caressing my skin and scales.

  If only the uncaring rock weren’t separating me from that warmth I’d known all of my past life.

  As bad as my life had been back on Earth, it was nothing compared to all the horrors I experienced here, all less than a month in this broken place.

  “I thought it would be easier,” I whispered. “In games… or movies… they never showed any of this.”

  My throat felt tight as I swallowed. The encounter flashed through my mind again. The pain, the fear… the sudden stillness.

  I’d survived. I could have died, or worse. But I didn’t. I should be celebrating. But I just felt hollow.

  A soft ethereal chime blinked into my vision. One I had been avoiding.

  [Experience Threshold Reached]

  [Upgrading Nanite Swarm...]

  [Upgrade Successful]

  [Efficiency Levels at 1.0%]

  [1 Skill Point Gained]

  I grimaced at the notification.

  A level up… right after killing someone. As if this strange system were rewarding me for taking someone’s life. I didn’t know how to feel about that.

  And a skill point? That was new. Something to look forward to once my mind wasn’t such a mess, I guess.

  The soft rustle of blankets moving behind me pulled me from my thoughts.

  “Hey, Nyxia…” She said, looking at me with concern. “How are you feeling?”

  “Honestly, I don’t know.” I gave her a strained smile. “It’s strange. I know what I did was justified, but… I keep seeing the fear… the blood…”

  She nodded slowly, probably expecting that kind of answer.

  “I know how you feel, you know.” she sat up and slowly clasped her hands in front of her, her eyes growing distant.

  “You’ve… killed someone before?”

  “Not personally, no,” she hesitated as she recalled the memory. “I went through something similar last year while you were still in a coma. I was returning from the Institute of Magic after school, one of Dad’s political enemies had sent a corporate agent to kidnap me. I would have been taken if it wasn’t for a passing mercenary who stepped in.”

  She let out a heavy sigh and paused for a breath before continuing. “It took me months before I was mentally stable enough to return to school. It doesn’t get any easier. You just learn new ways to cope.”

  “I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say. I felt a bit better knowing that she could help me through this. I hadn’t even managed to pay her back for everything she’d done for me, and here was yet another thing I’d owe her for.

  Valerie sat there, watching me in silence as I worked through my trauma. Her presence was like an island of stability in an ocean of chaos.

  “You did what you had to do,” she suddenly spoke up, “surviving comes first down here. Coming home alive is all that matters. You aren’t a monster for that.”

  “I know that, but… it still feels… wrong.”

  “Congratulations! That means you aren’t a monster yet,” She responded with a wry smile.

  I blinked as her words settled in. For a moment, neither of us spoke.

  Valerie shifted first, breaking the silence. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  I sighed and considered it. But as much as I wanted to tell her, there was so much I would have to leave out leading up to the attack if I didn’t want her getting suspicious. I didn’t want to burden her with the knowledge that I’d joined the mercenary guild. Not yet at least.

  “I promise to tell you someday. But not today, okay?”

  My sister smiled in quiet understanding and patted the couch next to her, inviting me to join her under the blankets once more.

  I obliged and felt my worries fading as I let myself sink into the comforting warmth.