Waking up, Valar was faced with a distinct feeling of deja vu. He was laying on something soft, maybe a sofa, and his right arm felt like a wreck. However when he inspected it, the arm looked normal—previous burn marks and all. Wait? What happened? There was a man-...

  Valar practically fell down from the sofa and rushed to the nearest trashcan. Then he threw up.

  I killed him! I killed a man! His face… His silent screams! The boy retched once more, tears flowing from his eyes all the while. His breathing turned erratic and blood rushed to his ears, making it harder to even think.

  He attacked me, right? Right? I was just defending myself… What should I do? What can I do? What-.

  A hand was pressed gently against his back. “Calm… Slow breaths. It’s going to be all right,” Elaine spoke softly but kept a steady pace, rubbing Valar’s sweat-soaked while she continued speaking. “It’s going to be all right… We’ll talk. Nobody blames you for anything. I don’t hate you. We don’t hate you. Deep breaths. In and out.”

  Slowly, excruatingly slowly, Valar’s breathing calmed. The sound of rushing blood in his ears quieted down to a manageable level, and the pain he felt from his hammering heart lessened. While he calmed himself, Elaine never broke contact with him. She spoke calming words until the boy seemed completely calm. Only then did she dare back off.

  “Better?”

  Valar nodded as he let out a quiet sob. His shoulders rose quickly, but lowered back soon after.

  “We’ll have to talk about what happened to you,” Elaine’s tone was soft, but left no room for disagreement. “I need to know what happened, and so does Viktor. He’s coming here any minute now.”

  “Yeah,” Valar managed to choke out. “I’ll go lay down on the sofa.”

  “You do that while I boil some tea for us. That’ll calm both of us down.”

  Valar got up from the corner of the room that he had been sobbing in and dragged himself to the sofa. He practically slammed himself into the soft comfort, using the smooth velvet to wipe his flowing tears. He laid there, just crying. Only one thought dominated his mind, repeating itself over and over again—endless in its intensity.

  I killed him… I killed him… I killed him…

  Soon, a firm knock resounded through the room. Valar heard Elaine open the door, but he didn’t hear the soft discussion between the two adults. Viktor’s arrival meant one thing however… Valar had to get up and talk.

  The boy readied himself and rolled over, propping himself up in a sitting position. Viktor and Elaine were both sitting opposite him in comfortable chairs. Elaine poured tea for everyone, tasted it and let out a small sound of satisfaction.

  The professor of life magic started the discussion. “Valar, did somebody die yesterday?”

  A single nod was the only response she got.

  “By your hand?”

  Nod.

  “Lastly, would you say that they were innocent?”

  “No.” This time, Valar’s tone held a note of steel. “No, he wasn’t.”

  Viktor sighed. “Maybe you could tell us what led to the incident. Make us understand what happened.”

  Valar didn’t know where to begin, so he recounted the whole day. He told the adults about his trip out of the academy with Zeke, their exploration of the city and his visit to The Iron Owl. Then he got to the difficult part.

  “I… I wanted to get to the academy faster, so I decided to take a shortcut through the alleyways,” Valar explained. “After walking for a while, I noticed that a man was following me.”

  “Hold that thought,” Viktor said. “Can you describe the man to me? Anything recognizable helps.”

  “He had brown hair… Long and dirty. Hooked nose, eyes… I think they were black?”

  “That suggests that he was a drug addict. Maybe abyssal grass?” Viktor muttered. “Please continue the story.”

  “I tried losing him by turning erratically… When I realized that I couldn’t lose him I ran. After a while, I ran into a dead end.”

  Valar shivered, his body shaking with the violent reaction. “He had a knife… Told me that he would kill me slowly… That he would enjoy himself before he did.”

  The boy’s pulse rose once more, his breathing turning erratic. “He attacked. Slashed me… punched me… I got slammed against the pavement.”

  “Deep breaths, Valar,” Elaine’s voice broke through his panic. “Take a sip of tea, center yourself. Continue only when you feel calm, please.”

  As Valar drank the tea and calmed himself, he didn’t notice Elaine giving Viktor a mean look. The onyx rank mage cringed and nodded at Elaine’s expression.

  Soon enough, Valar felt that he was ready to speak. “The man… He tried stabbing my thigh,” He rummaged around in his pocket and pulled out a dirty copper coin.

  It had a dent.

  “His hand… It slipped on the knife and he cut himself. Then I…” Valar’s voice broke. “I felt angry. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to burn him.”

  The room fell silent. The quiet was only broken by Valar’s sobs, but he could not finish the story. He didn’t want to say it. Saying what he had done… It felt like the act would become more real—more tangible—if Valar spoke it into existence. He didn’t want to. It felt wrong.

  “You burned him alive,” Viktor’s words rang out, shocking Valar out of his thoughts. “You took his life, because he tried to take yours. It was self defence, Valar. He is not your victim, just the opposite.”

  “I killed him! I took his life!”

  “Listen to me!” Viktor’s eyes turned bright silver as he raised his voice. “His life was forfeit the instant he decided to attack you. There is no law, divine or mortal, that would condemn you for defending your own life and sanctity!”

  The silver haired man calmed himself as Elaine took over. “There are very few high rankers who have never taken a human life, Valar. Neither of us judges you for your actions, and we have experiences that are very similar to yours. I understand your feelings, trust me, but your value as a human did not lessen from your experience. If you seek a different perspective, ponder for a moment on what would have happened if you didn’t fight back.”

  Disgusting, abhorrent images of violence in all its forms flashed through Valar’s mind. Torture, both physical and mental in nature, and death. The boy damn near threw up then and there.

  “You encountered a despicable piece of scum, Valar. That being wasn’t a man anymore. He was a monster,” Elaine grit her teeth. “Do you know why we don’t call magical beasts monsters? Our society used to do that some centuries ago. What happened?”

  Valar could only shrug. He had no clue.

  “Beasts act on instinct. When they attack and kill us, they don’t do it because of pleasure. That doesn’t make their killing acceptable, and that’s why we cull them when necessary. Still, even a high ranked beast with strong wits does not kill for pleasure. The umbral terror may play with its food, but that’s what its prey is: Food.”

  Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

  Elaine’s eyes turned bright green as her aura became overpowering in the small office. “No… A beast is no monster. That title is reserved for us. Humans, elves, dwarves, demons, angeli… We are sapient. We don’t need to kill each other, but we still do. The man you met was a monster more vile than any beast could ever be! His soul is rotten to its core and was rightfully excised from this world!”

  As Elaine’s voice reached its zenith, Viktor placed his hand on her shoulder. At the same time, her aura receded and lost its intensity. Viktor gave the woman a gentle smile and turned to Valar.

  “I did some research on your attacker last night. His body wasn’t found by any guards, but I could still narrow the possible suspects down to a single man, and any information I had on him matched your description well. His name was Thomas Dremen, a merchant’s son who fell out with his family years ago. He was kicked out of their residence by his parents when they discovered his drug use and more ‘peculiar’ interests.”

  “What do you mean by that?” Valar asked.

  “He was a sadist,” Viktor sighed. “The young man received pleasure from hurting others. He was kicked out after one of the family’s maids had gone missing, but the family managed to sweep the incident under the rug pretty well. Needless to say, his family is being investigated right as we speak. We’ll see if the rest of the family has done anything illicit, but based on the information I have, they probably haven’t. Overall, the family seems quite normal for a merchant family, with the sole exception of their estranged son. What I’m trying to say is that if you didn’t kill him, you would most likely be a name on a very long list of his victims. Now that he is dead, that list will never grow again. You didn’t only save your own life, Valar. You saved tens of lives, even hundreds.”

  Viktor’s words helped. They really did. Valar had been rightfully stuck on one detail—that being the man’s death. In his own grief and panic, he had neglected to think of his own life. He had felt guilty for killing another human, but he had killed a monster instead.

  “The fact that you feel guilty for taking another's life means that you are no monster like them,” Elaine said. “It’s good to feel guilty, but it’s also good to recognize when that guilt becomes a weight dragging you down. You have felt guilty for long enough.”

  Tears flowed from Valar’s eyes. He cried, but the tears were no longer only tears of guilt and strife. Some tears of happiness had mixed in, and crying didn’t feel so bad anymore.

  Viktor and Elaine looked on with sad smiles on their faces. Both had similar experiences—if not identical ones—so they could relate to the boy in many ways. Both of the mages had had to defend themselves many times. The feelings of guilt, sorrow and relief were known to both, but they had experienced them when they were much older than what Valar was now. He had taken his first life at the age of thirteen.

  After a long while, Viktor’s voice rang out. “We still need to talk about the incident. There are some details that I would like to know about, and it’s better to talk about them when your memory is still fresh.”

  At Valar’s hesitant nod, the man continued. “Can you remember what happened when you used your fire? I know we should be experimenting today, but I don’t think-.”

  “We can do them today,” Valar’s tone was determined. “I need to know more about the fire before I end up in a situation where I need it again.”

  Viktor raised his eyebrows. “Are you sure? We can wait.”

  “I’ll need lunch, then we can experiment. As for when I… killed the man, I honestly don’t remember much. I just remember that I felt angry. More angry than I’ve ever been. I grabbed his face, drew on the fire, and did the same thing I did with the umbral terror.”

  “Can you remember if you used more or less of it than with the terror?”

  “A similar amount I think… I don’t think the fire can be quantified easily. It felt similar though.”

  “Thank you,” Viktor wrote in his notebook as he talked. “As for the coin, where did you get it?”

  “What?”

  “The coin. You said it stopped the man’s stab. Where did you get it?”

  Valar grabbed his chin as he thought. “Oh right! Arthur tossed it to the ground when we entered the city. I didn’t want to leave it behind, so I picked it up and put it in my pocket.”

  Viktor let out a small humorless chuckle. “You’ll have to thank him when you meet him then.”

  Elaine looked at the copper coin in Valar’s hand. “I think you could make a good necklace out of it. Kind of like a good luck charm.”

  “You know those don’t work, right?” Viktor asked. “Good luck charms are a total scam made up by street vendors.”

  “It doesn’t really matter. That coin probably saved Valar’s life. It’s done a pretty good job already.”

  Just as Viktor was about to start his retort, Valar spoke up. “I think I’d like that, Elaine. Where can I go to fashion a necklace out of it?”

  “The merchant’s district has a couple jewellers that could make beautiful necklaces out of that,” Elaine smiled. I’ll take you to one next weekend, all right?”

  Valar nodded to Elaine. After that, they discussed the incident for a good while. No one was in a rush, as it was the weekend. Still, Valar’s lunchtime came after around an hour of talking.

  Viktor stopped Valar right as he was leaving. He fished out a strange emblem with the wing of an eagle emblazoned on it out of his coat pocket and handed it to Valar. “Look, I’m not supposed to hand you this, but I’ll break some rules this one time.”

  “What is it?”

  “It’s a magical sigil that makes its twin glow when mana is channeled into it.” Viktor demonstrated the effect by fishing out a second emblem. The wind mage pushed a little mana into it, and both emblems started to glow. “As I said, you are not supposed to have this. Channel mana into it only when you are in actual danger, and I’ll be there. I can arrive in time just about everywhere in the city.”

  “Oh… Thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me,” Viktor frowned. “If I’d broken the rules earlier and given you that a week ago, we wouldn’t be in this situation. I feel kind of sorry for not breaking family rules when it led to this.”

  Valar didn’t really know what to say. Of course he would have liked to have the device yesterday, but Viktor’s tone was nervous. He got the feeling that he really wasn’t supposed to have the emblem, and that Viktor could be in actual trouble if someone found out. “Thank you, Viktor. I’ll keep it hidden.”

  “Thank you for understanding, Valar. Now go have lunch!”

  As Valar left the room and started descending the stairs, Elaine looked at Viktor with a questioning look. “Really? You aren’t supposed to give them. What’s the worst that could happen if someone important found out?”

  The wind mage sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Do you know what I just gave Valar?”

  “No. Some kind of communication artifact by the looks of it?”

  “That was an emergency city link… They cost an onyx coin per device to make.”

  “Oh… But why only the city? Wouldn’t a city link work nationwide?”

  “When I said I could be there to help him everywhere in the city, it wasn’t a limitation of the device. It was mine. The device works anywhere in the damn nation.”

  “Oh… Let’s hope he keeps it a secret.”

  “Let’s do that.”

  The walk towards the cafeteria of the academy felt like a total slog. Despite the long sleep, he felt both emotionally and physically exhausted. Even though his arm was fully healed, he felt a burning pain that was similar to when he had rushed to the academy. That left Valar in a bad mood.

  “Hey! Kid wonder, I’m talking to you!”

  Ignore whoever that is… I don’t have the energy for this.

  “Are you not listening to me? Scared now that the abstract fuck isn’t with you?”

  I knew I recognized that voice! It’s the Wendir with the pathetic fire magic. Not worth talking to…

  “That’s it! I’m teaching you a lesson!”

  Valar felt the young mage’s hand land on his shoulder. Without even really thinking about it, he turned with the pull and drove his fist against the taller man’s stomach.

  If there was one good thing about orphanage life, it was that you learned to scuffle with bullies and older kids. Valar had never been good at fighting, but he was damn sure more competent than a stuck up noble brat without a sliver of physical training in his entire life.

  Predictably, the noble brat fell on the ground, gasping for breath. Valar turned back to the direction of the cafeteria and continued his stroll. There has been enough violence for this weekend. Please just leave it there. Please.

  After only a few seconds of walking, Valar heard muttering from his back. The words weren’t coming closer, so he didn’t react. Maybe the guy is just hurling insults at me. I don’t care.

  “Flaming bolt!”

  A flaming projectile impacted Valar’s back. He stumbled forwards and let out a pained grunt. The young Wendir scion’s spell was only iron rank, and a pitiful one at that. It burned, but didn’t do much else.

  To most iron rank students of the academy, the pain would have been something new. Burning felt awful and was often a more intense pain than punches, kicks or cuts could ever be. To Valar however…

  Even the phantom pain in his right arm was worse.

  Valar took his shirt off quickly, as the fabric caught on fire with the spell’s impact. That was a good shirt!

  From Valar’s tired perspective, nothing major had happened. He mostly just wanted lunch. The academy’s alarms didn’t agree with his perspective.

  A loud bell rang only seconds after the fire mage cast his spell. Three auras, two gold and one silver rank, appeared in the hallway and dominated both Valar’s and the young man’s aura. The silver ranker stood in front of Valar, and he suspected that the gold rankers were circling the fire mage. Now that I think about it, I don’t even know the man’s name.

  The silver rank man in front of him looked the shirtless Valar over. “The academy’s alarms have sensed an offensive spell cast in the premises. Explain.”

  I’m not going to get my lunch soon, am I?