I sat on the school’s roof—well, the top of the structure housing the stairwell; that’s not true because it wasn’t the actual roof, because I’m still inside the void, touching a red fragment. I don’t know how long I’ve been here—days or weeks, but this sucks.

  Soft sobs emanated from beside me.

  The sun’s kiss should have scorched our skin, but its warmth never caressed our already sun-kissed skin.

  “I hate this pce, and everyone in it.”

  ”Yeah? Then why don’t you go kill yourself again?” I said to the red silhouette of myself. That’s right. I’ve been stuck here with another version of myself—one that's all red. After a while, it talks to itself in a most depressing manner.

  Eventually, it will jump over the guard rails—an impressive feat given the distance, and down to its death, only to be impaled by rge bck finials, where it will squirm for a bit, causing us both pain, only to reset and do it again.

  I sighed because it was devastating the first time or even the fiftieth time.

  I looked over my shoulder to see the silhouette standing and waited for its line.

  The silhouette looked down at the ground beside me.

  ”I can’t take it anymore,” it shouted.

  I scooted over to the spot it stared at, trying to catch its attention, trying to be noticed by something in this lifeless pce.

  The silhouette crouched down like an Olympic runner and took off; It soared through the air with impressive speed and distance—almost catching the guard rail—barely making it each time.

  I waited for the right moment, and I mimicked “Ahhhhh.” The mirror-sized fragment floated closer with every vicious mockery, causing me to grumble.

  “This,” I said to the mirror, “is the only time I get to be alone, so bugger off.” It ignored my request and floated closer.

  I closed my eyes and filled myself with thoughts of Christine, though I couldn’t feel happiness, I could dream.

  When I opened my eyes, the shard had drifted a fair distance away.

  “Fine, come back, damn it.” Despair filled me at the thought of being alone. The shard returned.

  “It’s not that I don’t care about Antwon’s death, I’m just over it.” The shard floated closer, glowing with every bitter word.

  “I don’t even know if I can say this world sucks because I’m probably making it harder on myself. Think about it. If I were as smooth as Ryo, I could get a cutie to do everything for me, you know what I’m saying?”

  The shard started to drift away. “Wait, I’m sorry,” my voice cracked, as I reached for the shard.

  “I just don’t know what to do.”

  I recoiled my hand and looked at the ground. The same ground the silhouette looked at.

  “I’ve tried everything: Tripping it mid-run, coaching it, scolding it, hitting it, throwing myself off the roof with it, and pleading with it. Nothing stops it from repeating.

  I crossed my arms and legs in contemption.

  “Do you want to know the worst part? Nobody notices.” I looked up, listening to the silhouette’s final moments—a loud, slow groan into nothingness. No one witnesses his death, no one comes out to witness the aftermath, and in a school building filled with windows, no one notices his fall.

  “Well, mirror, it’s that time.”

  “I hate this school. Mom, Dad, I wish you were here to help me. But you're not, and it’s all my fault.”

  I closed my eyes. What did you do? Did you kill them somehow?

  I stood up and walked away—the mirror followed me. “I’ve tried everything to save you.”

  “I’m sorry for being me.” The sobs were gentle, but I knew they would increase.

  Don’t forget about Sakura.

  “Sakura,” his sobs drastically increased, “I’m sorry, big sis, I can’t do this anymore.”

  When did it become too heavy? I stopped walking at the take-off point.

  “I hate this pce, and everyone in it!”

  I’ve tried everything, or so I assumed.

  The silhouette got up, as it had done before—it crouched down like an Olympic runner, ready to take off.

  I braced myself because I didn’t know if this would work, and I had everything to lose.

  He took off at full speed. The seconds stretched into minutes, minutes into hours as he closed the gap between us with powerful strides.

  He jumped.

  I turned, grabbing the red shard and swinging it as hard as I could at the silhouette. The shard shattered, sending him flying back, leaving red fragments floating in the air from the point of impact.

  I froze, still in shock, posed like a baseball pyer who had hit his first home run in front of thousands.

  ***

  Did that really…work?

  I looked at the red silhouette as it y there, still lifeless. The shards started to drift to him, into him, restoring color. Once all the shards were consumed, he looked like me—I looked like him?

  “What?” The silhouette said. This is the first time it’s broken script.

  “Um…what?” Great job, me. The first time this thing does more than die, and all I can do is repeat the same thing?

  I cleared my throat and stepped closer to the shadow of myself.

  “Who are—how are you? Where am I?”

  I bent down and poked it—it was solid now.

  “Why are you poking me?”

  I reached over and grabbed him by his colr, working him to his feet.

  “I’ve watched you kill yourself a billion times, and I'm done.”

  It shivered in response.

  “I’m not dead, I’m right here,” it said, unaware of where we were.

  “Kid, Oh, wow.” I set him on the ground, feeling the weight of his words. I looked around to find evidence of his fate, but there was nothing on the roof that could prove he wasn’t amongst the living.

  “Okay, let’s go back inside, and I’ll expin why we look alike, okay?” He nodded.

  After descending the structure that housed the stairwell, we stood before the door. “Open it,” I said, but the door wouldn’t budge.

  “It’s probably locked,” he said, still shivering.

  “Call someone to open it.” He screamed for help for about ten minutes before exhausting himself. Sorrow ate me alive.

  “ I-I don’t get it.”

  “Are you hot?” I asked.

  “No.” His confused face confirmed my suspicion.

  “We’ve been up here for hours, and you’re not hot. Is the sun shining?”

  “What kind of question is that? We can both see the sun—it’s right there”.

  “So why aren’t you burning up? We have no shade to hide, you're not sweating, and you're probably not thirsty or hungry.” I said, backing him into a reasonable corner.

  “Listen to me, and know that I’m sorry. But you’re dead.”

  “But—.”

  “You make that jump.” The shock on his face—the realization that I knew what he was thinking- went without saying.

  “But I don’t want to die. Who are you!”

  I took a deep breath, knowing he wouldn't understand. “I’m Knox,” I said with a smile. “I’m the guy driving your living corpse around Kokiri. It’s nice to meet you.” I extended my hand, welcoming his.

  He spped the back of my hand with the back of his own. I love it.

  “There is no such thing as a living corpse. Not even in books, and you’re not funny.”

  I thought about it, and he’s wrong because corpses were dead. If they walked—even to eat brains, they had to be alive. Shh now, brain, let’s stay focused.

  “Whatever, kid. You’re dead. This moment is happening inside our minds. You’re just a memory. A shitty one at that.”

  I paused, remembering that he was just a kid when he made a decision most adults couldn’t.

  So, we talked for a while, and I brought him up to speed. My death and rebirth through a wish,

  Sakura and Ryo.

  “Well, I still don’t believe that I’m dead…but I’m starting to think that you are.”

  I grabbed him by the nose, devastating him, enjoying tormenting my tormentor before letting him go.

  “Say what you want, kid. I’ve got to get out of here and get back to Christine.”

  “What? You know Christine?”

  “Oh, oh boy.” I smiled mischievously. “Why wouldn’t I know my…sis?”

  His face burned brighter than the endless sun above us.

  “Y-your sis! How did you get her to like you? What did you do?” He asked, pushing both fingers together. “How did you get her attention?” His eyes shied away from mine.

  I stretched, pcing my hands behind my head. “What can I say?” I looked at him, genuinely for the first time—I couldn’t take this from him. There was always something there. “She approached you. I didn’t do anything. Maybe it was just your time.”

  “Really?” He bore a smile that would have melted my heart if I could feel. Damn. I won’t tell him about how I maniputed her. No. What's a white lie to a departed soul anyway?

  “You should have seen how she handled you outside of Ms. Abutin’s room,” I said, watching the life flood back into him.

  “Handle me? How?” This may be the closest thing I’ve ever done to question my manhood, but I think he needed this.

  “Okay, go stand at the door,” I told him everything, and he blushed. His honest, boyish reactions were cute, as I guided him in taking his hands through Cristine’s hair, sharing breaths, and rubbing her lips. I looked at him, at Antwon—if the girls in my world were this soft, I would have found love.

  He giggled, “She’s my sis.” His enjoyment was contagious. He was stronger than I thought, enduring years of oppression, of hate, and subjugation, when I cracked after half a day.

  “Have we kissed yet or…”

  “Wow,” what’s with these kids and procreation? Still… maybe this is what closure looks like. “We’ve held hands in the hallway,” I said, thinking that would be enough to satisfy him.

  The look on his face was riddled with disappointment. “You have to go back.”

  “That's what I’ve been saying!”

  “No. You called her sis. Now give her our child,” he said with the same conviction as Christine. I’ll forgive you if what you’ve told me is true. Just do this for us.

  “Us? Sure.”

  He started to glow. “Take care of our sis, and come back and tell me when you guys finally kiss, okay?” The light was a beautiful, majestic glow, radiating across the rooftop and spilling out into the world beyond. Then he was light, then he was gone.

  “How am I supposed to find you?”

  KnoxCross116