Soft sounds.
Like feathers brushing against paper.
Muffled whispers. Young girls, boys.
Then a man’s voice. Mature, composed, almost gentle:
“Erasing a cause… doesn’t that create another one?”
Kael surfaced with difficulty.
More difficulty than in any of the previous loops.
He rubbed his eyes.
He saw.
He understood.
The classroom again.
The Ouroboros starting over.
The same students.
The same uniforms.
But this time… the teacher’s question had changed once more.
Kael rested his elbows on his desk and buried his face in his hands.
I’m so tired…
The teacher spoke again:
“Mr. Kael, could you answer this for me:
Erasing a cause… doesn’t that create another one?”
The man was staring at him.
Short gray hair, perfectly combed. A thin beard. Glasses.
Kael did not answer. He remained silent, his face still buried in his hands.
The teacher approached him calmly.
And repeated, word for word, the same question:
“Erasing a cause… doesn’t that create another one?”
Kael understood he would not get out of this without saying something.
So he muttered, exhausted:
“I don’t know… Not yet.”
Quiet snickers erupted around him.
A few students whispered mockingly:
“‘Not yet’… listen to this guy.”
Kael removed his hands from his face.
His eyes were ringed with dark circles. More than usual.
His cheeks slightly hollow.
I just want to sleep normally.
Wake up in a bed.
Have everything be normal…
He sighed and rubbed his forehead.
And as always, the class passed.
Without incident.
Without meaning.
The fourth loop began.
Kael jolted at the sound of the bell announcing the end of class.
He stood slowly, as if his legs were made of stone.
His phone vibrated.
He paid no attention.
He left the room, dragging his feet, as though carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.
In the courtyard, he sat at a table.
He crossed his arms, rested his head on them, and closed his eyes.
Why am I doing this to myself?
Why don’t I just choose the traditional path…
Remanence, or Dissonance?
What’s so wrong with that, really?
I just want to get out of here.
Sleep.
Sleep… is the sweetest thing in the world.
A hand landed on his shoulder.
He jolted again.
He already knew what would follow.
Hey, man.
Wow… you look like hell today.
What’s wrong with you? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.
And it did not fail.
“Hey, man!” Jeff called in his usual tone.
He sat beside him and studied his face.
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“Wow… you look like hell today.
What’s wrong with you? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Kael answered simply:
“Hey, Jeff.”
Without further explanation.
What’s the point… he thought.
The break unfolded… just as it always had.
The same voices, the same gestures, the same words.
Kael was there, sitting — but absent.
Why am I doing this to myself? he thought.
Then came climbing class.
Same routine.
Same progression.
His muscles strained, but his mind was elsewhere.
Why am I doing this to myself?
Then came lunch, outside, with Jeff.
Always the same table.
Always the same weather.
Always the same conversations he no longer listened to.
Why am I doing this to myself?
Again.
Again.
Again.
Jeff was talking.
About trivial matters. Words colliding without ever reaching Kael.
He wasn’t listening.
And more than anything, he did not want to hear anything.
He cut him off abruptly:
“I’m going to the library.”
And immediately he thought, as if reading the future:
Fine… but there’s no way I’m forcing myself to look at more books than necessary.
And, like an automaton, Jeff answered exactly that:
“Fine… but there’s no way I’m forcing myself to look at more books than necessary.”
Kael remained silent, drained.
Why am I doing this to myself? he thought again.
He stood, picked up his bag, and headed toward the library.
Along the way, he watched the students around him.
I wish so badly I were in their place…
Living my life simply.
He thought of the Broken Crown.
Even without money, even working hard… life there had been clearer.
I had food, more or less.
I didn’t have to worry about what a cause or a consequence was.
I didn’t spend my nights tormenting myself over questions beyond me.
And above all… he could sleep.
Sleep for real.
On the way, he noticed a couple of students wrapped in each other’s arms, laughing.
Farther off, a girl sitting on a boy’s lap.
Another couple arguing — the girl raising her voice because the boy was talking to other girls.
Kael sighed inwardly.
I envy them so much…
He entered the building, then the library.
The same plump woman sat behind her counter.
Kael approached quietly, without making the slightest sound.
She did not even seem to notice him.
He wandered among the shelves.
Dubium had asked him to bring back knowledge — and this place was full of it.
He eventually entered a section titled “Theology.”
He had no idea what that word meant.
And it was precisely that ignorance that drew him toward it.
Even here, I’m driven by curiosity…
even though I have no desire to know what theology is.
I could just grab the first book I see.
He walked for a while between the shelves.
Then his eyes fell on a thick volume.
Its cover bore no resemblance to the books he had read in previous loops.
No black leather. No sober lettering.
This one was off-white, adorned with golden patterns, elegant typography:
The Bible.
He studied it for a moment, intrigued.
That one looks interesting.
He picked it up and approached the counter.
I’ll just take this one.
That should be enough for Dubium for now.
And I don’t feel like spoiling him more than that.
The woman finally raised her eyes as he placed the book before her.
“Can I borrow it?” Kael asked.
She looked him up and down, then glanced at the book with surprise.
“You really intend to read this?”
Kael shrugged.
“Why not.”
She gave a faint, almost mocking smile.
“Existential questions you don’t have answers to?”
He sighed.
“That’s all I have these days.”
She took a sheet of paper and a pen.
“First and last name?”
“Kael.”
She wrote it down, then looked up again.
“Last name?”
“I don’t have one.”
She frowned.
“Everyone has a last name.”
Kael let out a dry laugh.
“Sure…”
She looked at him as if he were slightly insane.
“I need a last name for you to borrow the book. Even though I doubt there are fifty Kaels around here.”
Kael stood still for a moment.
Then slowly, he opened The Bible, turned a few pages, read a few lines, closed the book…
and said calmly:
“Just write Kael Lucifer. That’s fine.”
The woman gave him a sideways look, shook her head slightly, and wrote the name down.
“You’re not afraid of anything, are you?”
She handed him the book.
“That’s fine. You can take it.”
Kael thanked her simply, took the book, and left the library.
There was still quite some time before classes resumed.
So Kael left the building and returned to the courtyard.
He sat at an outdoor table and placed The Bible before him.
I’m so tired…
He rubbed his eyes.
So why do I even want to read this thing, honestly?
Driven by curiosity, he opened the book…
and read a few passages.
Kael flipped slowly through the pages.
His fingers stopped on a passage that seemed to call to him, underlined in pencil:
“Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.”
He reread it slowly, brows furrowed.
Then a bitter laugh escaped him.
Of course… he thought.
Even when I pick a book at random, it still speaks to me about causality.
Everything always comes back to it.
He closed his eyes for a second, shook his head, then resumed reading.
“He that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption;
but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.”
Kael remained silent.
The words seemed to float in the air, heavy, strangely clear.
Sow, reap.
You create — and you suffer what you create.
You cause — and the cause comes back to bite you.
He half-closed the book, staring at an invisible point.
The world is trapped in causality…
So what’s the point of trying to understand?
Everything I touch becomes a consequence.
He sighed.
Even when I no longer want to sow anything… the seed already exists.
He remained there, fingers resting on the white cover, his gaze empty.
