Chapter 40

  What a glorious day! A fucking paradise! The sun’s shining, birds are singing. Tall palms cast their dappled shadows on me. The blue sky over the endless ocean swallows you with its depth. Warm sand heats my feet, a gentle breeze hugs my body. In my right hand, I hold a mojito; my left strokes the thighs of a gorgeous girl who’s vibing with me to the fiery Spanish guitar riffs from a nearby bar. I watch beautiful women on the beach, laughing and playing volleyball, basking in their happy lives. From somewhere behind, the tempting smell of barbecue drifts over. A cheerful voice calls me, saying it’s ready. Of course, I’m coming! I replied. I set my cocktail on the table, grabbed a dagger instead, and drove it into the throat of another demon... THIS SHIT DOESN’T WORK! Why’s it so hard to trick myself?

  A month ago, in a fit of rage, I smashed the only possible way out of this hellhole and left a message for the developers in a few ancient letters, using the processed remains of some doggos. All because there were no sheet music, and I haven’t got a clue how that damn melody goes! Even if there were… I don’t know how to read notes! I’m no musician! Even musicians don’t all know sheet music. Who the hell’s this portal for? Rappers? If so, it makes sense, no questions.

  So I ran like hell, and now I’m wandering this wasteland, gathering material for a new message. Almost done. Just need a couple dozen more doggos for the last letter in “fuck.” Later, I figured the developers might not get such an ancient, clever language, so under the twenty-meter word, I added an illustration. I drew from life, so twenty meters didn’t cut it. Spent another week making sure my artwork’s visible from space. I can just imagine some nerd finding my masterpiece and launching a serious archaeological-UFO investigation. Writing articles, posting on forums, making YouTube videos, the works. Then a bunch of demons hold rallies in T-shirts with my mysterious image, starting a Scientology knockoff.

  Not far off, in the cliffs, I wove a hammock from monster sinews and hung it high in a cave so random doggos couldn’t get me in my sleep. At the entrance, I set traps with sharpened demon bones, but they’re unlikely to work. I don’t have high hopes. They’re more likely to screw me over than anyone else. Gotta dismantle them.

  So, after sorting out my little setup, I kept up my pointless existence. When I got to this area, a pack of monsters greeted me. Without thinking, I played tag-to-the-death with them. I won. My agility jumped twenty points. Now I could outrun Usain Bolt in a hundred-meter sprint without magic. Not bad. Need a few more packs to turn into art for my growth. Yeah… I’m not a demon… What a creature, what an art.

  Sure, I’m risking that Sherlock finding me, but I don’t give a fuck. Art comes first. Let him come. I’ve got at least one plan to kick his ass. I didn’t skimp on exploring the world and chasing spiritual zen through deep meditation either. I learned to sense faint electromagnetic fields two meters away. A small step toward becoming a cheater.

  When I finished my masterpiece, I climbed the cliff again to admire it. Looked convincing and life-affirming. Another gem of postmodernism by a man with a rich inner world. No more doggos around, so I shut off my inner perfectionist and called it good enough. Let the rest puzzle over what the artist meant by making the right ball slightly bigger. Republican? Cyclist? Right-handed? Who knows…

  I was satisfied and heading down when I spotted a cart in the distance. It was avoiding my creations, which kinda pissed me off as an artist. I felt the urge to force culture on these ignorant masses. These philistines have to touch the sublime. Before they die.

  The cart was covered with cloth, so I couldn’t see inside. A single kitty pulled it, lazily dragging its massive paws. Couldn’t make out the driver—too far. Whatever, a good old stick-up never hurt. Maybe I’ll score some pants? In this prison, even a hint of freedom’s nice.

  I scrambled down the cliff and cut it off. Minutes later, I was ready, fully armed. Reminder: I had no pants. The kitty spotted me from afar, got pissed (probably jealous), and charged. The cart bounced over ruts, the driver frantically trying to stop it, but no dice. A few dozen meters from impact, I drew my dagger and pulled my signature throw-attack, honed to perfection. Result: headless barsik, cart flipping past. I stood in a badass pose.

  The driver wasn’t fazed. He sprang up and rushed me with a knife, face still hidden under a hood. His arm raised for a strike but froze. He stood there, mesmerized. I finally got why. A delicate female figure and human face marked her as a succubus. I could feel her torn between two raging desires. Her eyes bounced from my junk to my face and back.

  Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

  While she debated which sin to indulge, I lunged at her legs with my other dagger. Sure, succubus skills aren’t practical, but Mary was in the five-hundreds, and that’s no joke. Gotta be careful. I dodged her strike and stabbed her leg. I moved fast to take control of her body. Caught her second swing, then calmly raced through her nervous system to her spinal cord. One vegetable, ready. Perfect… I need her alive.

  - Well, that’s done.

  - You… Human… I’ll kill you! – The succubus screeched.

  - Yeah… Doubt it.

  - You’re dead!

  - Yup, yup, I know.

  - What’d you do to me, you bastard?! – Venom poured from her mouth. Kinda unpleasant.

  - I call it veggie prep. Not humane, sure, but who cares? Back in my world, I had a friend who dove into a river and broke his neck. Ended up paralyzed, like you now. Sad story. Not sure he’d approve of my methods… Doesn’t matter, he’s not here.

  - I’ll kill you! Kill! Kill!

  - Goddamn, I get it. You’ll kill me. I’m not stupid. But first, answer some questions, then do whatever.

  - Not a chance.

  - Look… You answer, I heal you, and you can kill me. Hell, you can even fuck me first, I’m cool with it.

  - You’re lying…

  - Me? Lie? Never in my life.

  - I don’t believe you, human.

  - I just need to know what’s where around here. That’s it… Nothing big. I’m not local. I need a map.

  - I…! I…

  The succubus suddenly calmed down. The rage in her eyes vanished. A faint smile curled her lips.

  - Fine… Listen close… – She whispered sweetly. – I’ll tell you everything… Anything you want… Just for you, no one else. I’ll do anything for you… – Her whispers grew hard to catch, but something shifted.

  Her stunning eyes glowed like twin suns, their light spilling everywhere, transforming all they touched. Her perfect, velvet-white face looked carved by humanity’s greatest sculptors. A delicate nose, thin lips red as blood. Her long, silky hair shimmered like a mountain waterfall. Her still, fragile body beckoned with its vulgar curves. An unstoppable desire hit me. I’d never seen anything more beautiful… I want her. More than anything… My angel… My goddess… I want to defile her. Merge with her, never let go.

  - Do you love me? – She whispered in an otherworldly voice.

  - Yes…

  - How much?

  - More than anything… You’re all I think about…

  - What would you do for me?

  - Anything… Whatever you want… I… I’d give my life…

  - Then why wait? Give it. Rip out your heart for me. Then our souls will be one forever.

  - Yes… Yes… I want that!

  I raised my dagger to plunge it into my chest when I caught a terrified gaze. A kid?... Wait… What am I doing? Was I about to kill myself? Have I lost it? From the wrecked cart, blue eyes filled with tears stared at me.

  - YOU FUCKING BITCH!!! – I soccer-kicked the succubus’s head, nearly tearing it off.

  I ran to the cart. Among scattered junk lay two kids. A boy and a girl. Around the age I was when I got here. Their hands and feet were bound, mouths gagged. Their dirty faces begged for help. Then it hit me… I finally realized I’m not the only “lucky” one here.

  - YOU CUNT!!! WHERE WERE YOU TAKING THEM?!!

  - Damn… It always works…

  - ANSWER, YOU WHORE!!!

  - What’s it matter? What’ll you do? A human, alone in hell… Hilarious…

  I gripped her hair, barely stopping myself from ripping her head in half.

  - Fine… There’s a city nearby. Healer camp. They’re material.

  Hearing that, my rage hit its peak. My blood boiled. My scream echoed for miles. My hands glowed with bright flashes. Thousands of lightning bolts enveloped her filthy head, then tore it into millions of tiny pieces, blanketing the ground in red mist.

  I wiped the blood from my face and turned to the kids.

  - It’s okay. I’ll untie you. – They instinctively shrank back. Probably didn’t wipe the blood well enough. Plus, my yellow eyes didn’t inspire trust. Oh, and I remembered I was pantless. I grabbed a rag and fixed that quick.

  - Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you. I’m human, like you. I’ll help. – I cut their ropes. – What’re your names?

  Suddenly, the girl wailed and threw herself at me, hugging tight. She couldn’t stop sobbing. The boy came to his senses.

  - Max… I’m Max… This is Lisa.

  - It’s okay, Max. Lisa… I’m Elon. Don’t worry, I’ll get you home. – No clue what to say in these situations. How do you calm them? Convince them they’re safe when they’re not?

  - Really?

  - Yeah… Of course… You can count on it.

  The girl cried harder, but the boy calmed a bit.

  - Thank you! Thank you!

  - Alright, alright… Quiet now… Tell me how you got here.

  - We were just gathering firewood, then… Then that…

  - It’s okay… It’s over. You’re safe with me.

  - Then that monster grabbed us. She brought us here. Demons everywhere! Evil monsters. They’re so scary…

  - I’ll kill anyone who dares touch you. Like I did her.

  - Then… She took that hot thing and pressed it to us… And this specialty… Slave… I don’t want… I want to go home…

  The boy broke down too. I get it. I understand him better than anyone. Thank fuck they didn’t face the horrors I did. They’re just kids. No human should go through this. It can’t go on. Remember… All those human bones under my torture site. I have to do something. No… I have to do everything I can. No… I have to do the impossible.

  Tears streamed down my face. Following old custom, I tied two bones with sinew and planted two makeshift crosses in small mounds of fresh-dug earth. I won’t let their bodies become someone’s meal. I did all I could for them. They’re free now. And you’re all fucked, you demonic bastards…