“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! WE’RE GONNA BE LATE!!!” Jim cried out as he stood outside of the Bentley Residence on the paved cement driveway next to Kyle’s Porsche 911.
Wearing a white and gold hoodie over a white V-neck shirt, faded jogger jeans, and white and gold sneakers, the heavily hair-gel laden eleventh grader demanded, “Where the fuck is Sam at?! HUH?!?! She was supposed to be here, like, HALF AN HOUR AGO and I have still YET to see her!!!!”
“SHUT THE HELL UP, JIM,” Eric barked at the Dingus. “She said she’ll be here so just chill the fuck out.”
“OH REALLY, ERIC?! THEN WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE?!?!”
“WATCH IT, CHIEF.”
As Eric and Jim started to butt heads with each other (as per usual) breaking the two ‘friends’ up was Kyle.
Having just walked out of the Bentley household wearing a green polo shirt, denim jeans, black and white basketball sneakers, and his Grandpa’s green army jacket, Kyle came upon Eric and Jim’s squabble and just shook his head.
“GUYS, CUT IT OUT!!!” Kyle raged as he drove himself between Eric and Jim.
Trying to get at Jim, Eric shouted, “Then tell this WANNABE, JERSEY SHORE LOOKIN’ DOUCHE REJECT to calm his ass down before I bust his shit!”
“FUCK YOU, YOU WAVY HAIRED, BOY BAND LOOKIN’ MOTHERFUCKER!!!!” Jim shouted back as he side-stepped past Kyle’s left and SHOVED Eric backwards, knocking him into the driver’s door of Kyle’s Car. “One Direction called… AND THEY WANT THEIR LAME-ASS STYLE BACK, BIOTCH!!!”
Wearing an oversized, short-sleeved yellow flannel button up with a baggy white tee underneath it, black joggers, and yellow and black high-tops, Eric gritted, “One direc-- URGH… COME HERE YOU LITTLE BITCH! You wanna shove me?! COME ON, FUCKER! I’M GONNA SHOVE YOUR BOTTLE OF CHEAP-ASS HAIR GEL UP YOUR ASS!
As Eric lashed out back at Jim with his fists clenched, Kyle blared, “GUYS, I SAID FUCKING STOP!!!”
Walking out of his house lastly was Derek, who came upon the sight of Kyle standing between Eric and Jim as they tried to punch, shove, and kick at each other.
Wearing a maroon button up dress shirt, black jeans, and white high tops, the sickly boy ignored his conflicting friends for a few seconds to lock the front door to his parent's home.
Once he had finished that, Derek looked back at the others and asked, “Are you guh-guys ruh-ruh-ready to guh-guh-go?”
Hearing his nerdish best friend’s stuttering voice, Kyle looked back at Derek who was still standing up on the front porch.
“WELL DAMN, DER!!!! Lookin’ fresh, my dude,” Kyle remarked as Derek slightly smirked at him.
Pulling himself away from his ‘fight’ (I say that lightly) with Jim, Eric caught a look at Derek in his nightly outerwear and said, “Nice threads, D!”
Derek nodded in reply as Jim clenched his right fist, cocked it back, and THREW A HAYMAKER at Eric.
“AGH! HEY! WHAT THE FUCK?!” Eric angrily shouted after Jim had sucker-punched him in his left ear.
Rubbing his already reddening (and slightly bruised) ear with his left hand, the appalled stoner asked, “Urgh… What in the fuck was that shit, Jim?!”
“VENGEANCE, MOTHERFUCKER!” Jim shouted back intensely.
“YOU HIT ME IN THE FUCKING EAR, YOU PRICK!”
“WHILE your head was turned, E,” Kyle added from the side before giving the Dingus a disappointed look. “That was fuckin’ cheap, Jim.”
“Cheap? BULL FUCKIN’ SHIT, DAWG!” Jim snapped at Kyle. “That shot was clean as hell, son!”
“No, Jim. It actually wasn’t.” Kyle replied plainly.
Still rubbing his throbbing ear, Eric raged, “URGH… YOU SUCKER-PUNCHIN’ PUSSY! Come here, you son of a bitch!”
Stopping Eric from hurling himself at Jim was Kyle who said, “HEY, HEY, HEY! CALM DOWN, BRO!”
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As Kyle dealt with the pissed off stoner, Jim looked over at Derek and said with a big dumb grin on his face, “Hey, D-Bent! I like the hair, broseph! Which brand of hair gel do you use??? HA-HA!”
“Are you ruh-ruh-ready to guh-go, Kyle?” Derek asked his best friend after ignoring Jim’s comment.
Kyle, who had just managed to stop Eric from literally killing Jim, said in reply, “Ugh… Yeah, I think so. Are you good now, E?”
Glaring over at Jim still, Eric grunted, “Urgh… Yeah. I’m fucking good.”
“Well, you better be BITCH before I have to DECK YOUR ASS again! HA-HA-HA!!!” Jim scorned, which made Eric even more angry.
“ERIC,” Kyle said in a stern tone to his friend, who just growled at the heckling seventeen-year-old.
With the tension between Eric and Jim having ceased…. FOR NOW, Kyle looked back over at Derek and said, “AS I WAS SAYING, we’re all ready to go here. All we’re doin’ now is waitin’ for…”
“HOLA, GOOBER-GANG!!!” Sam cried out after rolling up onto Derek’s Driveway atop her old, beat-up skateboard wearing the same outfit that she had on earlier in the day.
“So… Is everyone ready to skedaddle or naaaaah?” Sam asked after coming to a skidding halt before the four teenage male social outcasts.
Eric rolled his eyes as Kyle greeted with a mesmerized look on his face, “HEY, SAM!”
“Hey, Kyler,” Sam smirked as she looked over at the fumbling junior. “Nice fit.”
“Heh, heh… Thanks, Sam,” Kyle chuckled, making Eric shake his head now.
“FUCKING FINALLY!!!” Jim erupted before turning a hot and vicious glare towards the tomboy. “Where in the hell have you been, Sam?! You were SUPPOSED to be here at TEN THIRTY and its almost ELEVEN-O’FUCKIN’- CLOCK!!!”
“Great, Jim! You can FINALLY tell time,” Sam barbed towards the douchey seventeen-year-old. Well done, Dingus.”
This made Kyle, Derek, and even Eric chuckle (briefly) as Sam continued to explain to Jim, “FOR YOUR INFORMATION, CHRISTIAAN HUYGENS, I was busy getting ready for the Party.”
“Busy getting ready??? YOU SMOKIN’ ON SOME OF ERIC’S WEAK-ASS SUPPLY?! You’re still wearing the SAME SHIT you had on earlier, Sam!”
Kyle then stepped in and said whilst glaring daggers at the Dingus, “JIM, SETTLE DOWN… NOW.”
Waving Kyle off, Jim said, “No, Ky-Ky! I’m not gonna ‘settle down’!”
“Oh really?”
“YES, MOTHERFUCKER! REALLY!!!”
Looking at Sam once more, Jim continued, “We had a plan when all this shit started! A SET FUCKIN’ PLAN!!!”
“Well, sorry to burst your bubble, Jim… BUT PLANS CHANGE,” Sam carelessly replied.
“NOT SET ONES!!! FUCK, SAM! Are you TRYING to ruin the night for all of us by making us late to Josh’s Kegger?! ARE YOU?!?!”
“Late? JIM, we don’t have to be out there at exactly eleven p.m. You do realize that it won’t start quote-unquote ‘poppin’ until at least midnight RI-- Oh wait. That’s right. Heh, heh… Silly me. You wouldn’t have known that since you’ve NEVER ACTUALLY BEEN to a party before.”
Jim now had a shocked expression on his face as Kyle, Eric, and Derek all proceeded to laugh at him.
“DAMN! MAXIMUM BURNAGE!!!” Kyle remarked.
“THIRD Degree,” Eric followed.
Derek just shook his head and chuckled as Jim erupted, “URGH… FUCK YOU, SAM!!!”
“Heh, heh… No, no, sweety,” Sam playfully giggled. “Fuck you.”
“FUCK YOU!!!”
“FUCK. YOU.”
“FUCK YO-- AAAGHHH! MY BALLS!!!”
SUDDENLY, Sam SLAMMED her left knee right into Jim’s crotch after he got ‘too close’ in her face whilst screaming.
With air knocked from his lungs and guts in a twist, Jim immediately dropped down to his knees with his hands covering his crotch and fell over FLAT on his face.
“Fuck you, Jim… INFINITY!!!” Sam shouted down at Jim whilst he now laid face down at her feet, groaning and squirm in pain.
“SHIIIIT!!!” Kyle shouted in shock at what had just happened while Sam proceeded to throw her skateboard in his car through the rolled down, backseat passenger’s side window.
“Sam, you just managed to gain a mere morsel of my respect,” Eric said in a slightly pleased tone to the tomboy. “Good shit.”
Derek snickered at Jim’s well-deserved pain as Sam to him, Kyle, and Eric, to ask, “Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here ALL MOTHERFUCKIN’ WEEK, peeps. Heh, heh… So, Goobers… Y’ALL READY TO PARTY???”
