Time and space, two fairly important concepts to me, had become utterly meaningless.

  The laws of logic and causality—twin pillars of the foundation upon which I had built my whole personality—ceased to exist.

  I whipped my head around frantically, scanning what I once understood to be my left and my right for the source of the voice, but to no avail. It seemed to surround me, originate from the very core of me.

  Or, perhaps more accurately, my left pocket.

  I pulled out my Device, which, to my mild surprise, had turned into a concentrated, glowing orb of pure energy. I was pretty sure this had never happened before.

  The voice was, ostensibly, coming from inside of it. It was, however, somehow amplified—many places at once, transcendent.

  > We hope you had a pleasant trip.

  > Initial scans suggest an impressive 91% of your Ineffable Essence was successfully reconstituted.

  > I'm Meg, the voice of MegaTech?. I'm here to give you a System Debrief and Information Session before your interview.

  I thought about it for a second. I wasn't sure what to say. And frankly, I wasn't sure I had much of a choice in what happened next. I had never been in a Formless Void before. But from what I could gather about them, user-friendliness wasn't one of their core features.

  To complicate matters further, I was, as a peculiar personality quirk, broadly skeptical of Sublime Disembodied Entities. They always had an agenda of some sort.

  Nothing but a bunch of programming when you got down to it, birthed by Dark Sciences and human psychology to appeal to our lizard-brain need for the dopamine hit of approval.

  She calmly interjected again:

  > Take your time. No matter what you choose, I'll be here to guide you every step of the Journey.

  I'll never know why, but suddenly, my skepticism dissipated. My previous notions melted away, scattering, as they did, like mist into the Void before me.

  I was able to see, in a moment of intense clarity, what was really going on: I was, as was becoming a bad habit, far too quick to dismiss Numinous Metaphysical Beings before I ever got to know them.

  That wasn't me—that was my father speaking.

  I took a deep breath, taking stock of how I was really feeling. Not, as I too often did, how I thought I was supposed to feel. My findings were clear. The overarching sensation I felt in my body and soul (now conveniently floating beside me) was one of warmth.

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  She seemed alright.

  There was something about her voice that read as sympathetic, like she was really in my corner. And not just in the typical pre-programmed ways these things usually come out of the box, before you reset their parameters to treat you more in line with the feckless worm you are.

  I decided to give her a chance. Which was convenient, because I think it was my only option.

  Sometimes, you've just got to trust what you feel in your soul, even if it's been externalized and is being warped and stretched beside you in a phantasmagoric, reality-bending carnival of horror.

  **

  I called out to her in a voice as friendly as I could muster in my disorientation.

  "Uh, yeah, that sounds good to me. My name's Ludo, by the way."

  This seemed to trigger an immediate response in the Orb that was once my Device, which now floated out of my reach, spinning and undulating before me.

  It flashed an array of colors and light that defied my previous conception of either, holding my attention for an impressive ten seconds or so before I felt I sort of had the gist.

  Her voice reappeared, accompanied by triumphant orchestral fanfare.

  > Congratulations. You've unlocked The GigaGig? Premium Tier.

  > It's wonderful to have you aboard, [Ludo Brax].

  I sputtered in shock, sending myself doing backflips into the Void. What kind of an Indescribable Netherspace was this? I never signed up for the Premium Tier! I had explicitly, oh-so-cleverly, opted against it.

  This was non-negotiable. My Accounting Software had been very clear: I didn't have the Credits for any more expenses, and being in Incognito Mode did not shield me from liability for repeatedly insisting it "help me stick it to the taxman."

  I had to do something, and quick.

  "No! Wait a minute," I shouted out, my voice echoing and refracting back to me in distorted and strange echoes. "I, uh, I came here for a Gig from the Basic Tier. I really can't afford to go Premium."

  > Don't worry [Ludo Brax]. All of that will be taken care of. A payment plan tailored specifically to work in tandem with the Debt Prison in which you've ensnared yourself has been worked out by our Experts.

  > Your onboarding procedure will begin shortly. Here you will receive all pertinent information explaining our System and crucial information about next steps.

  > Please be sure to pay close attention. The tips and tricks detailed in the following training materials will be indispensable to your success in the journey to come.

  The Orb lowered down in front of me, now emitting only the faintest glint of radiant light beyond human comprehension.

  > When you are ready to begin, simply touch the Orb before you.

  **

  I wasn't sure what to do. And, frankly, I was at this point more than a little miffed.

  I had come here with a goal in mind. A modest goal, sure, but a goal of my own choosing. Now, some wondrous alternate path was being foisted upon me.

  This was all too typical of the world today.

  Sure, I could "touch the Orb before me," like society expected me to. But I resented the very notion.

  It seemed you couldn't leave your house these days without being expected to opt into some readymade Quest?.

  Whatever happened to making your own way? To forging your own insignificant little narrative outside the confines of what The System expected of you? I knew I had to speak up.

  Maybe Meg would understand, I thought. It was my only hope.

  On the one hand, yeah, she seemed to be the fleshless manifestation of the very entity I sought to oppose.

  On the other hand, though, she really seemed to get me. My particular je ne sais quoi was lost on some people. Not her.

  I called out one final attempt at refusal.

  "Listen here. I have some concerns that I'd like to—"

  > Thank you for your cooperation. Training is complete. You now have the crucial, essential, utterly unignorable information you'll need to thrive in the days to come. Professor Pyque and all of us here thank you for choosing GigaGig?. We look forward to the completion of your Arc?.

  The Orb returned to its previous state. The Void began to lose its Void-like qualities.

  I was, I realized to my chagrin, flickering back into the stark confines of bounded reality.