“I liked that man,” I told Cabbagy as I leaned back in my chair so far it squeaked. “He was a wonderful conversationalist.”

  “Hmm,” Cabbagy said.

  I thought over my conversation with Special Inspector Deng. The 1704th Year of the Heavenly Phoenix Empire…

  “To think, it’s been sixty-seven years,” I said with a disbelieving shake of my head. “Two years in the facility as a test subject, and then sixty-five years unconscious… I wonder how many people and places are as I remember? Or even still there? I feel torn, Cabbagy. I’ve lost so much time, but I’m so elated with my freedom that it’s hard to feel melancholy.”

  I should be shocked to be alive, and a small part of me was, but too much of me was just happy to be here, sipping tea.

  “This idiot will be the death of me,” Cabbagy muttered to himself. “Talking about emotions while his death closes in? Idiot!”

  I’m sure he knew I could hear him.

  “I can hear you, Cabbagy.”

  “I know, kid,” he said. “That man was a Special Inspector.”

  “Yeah, so? He seemed a good sort, and he even bought me a meal!”

  “There’s no such thing as a good sort of Special Inspector. He’s gone off to collect reinforcements. Look at him now, out the window.”

  I glanced out the window and saw the black-robed Special Inspector standing on the road beside an older man and a young woman whom I recognized to be the waitress. The wind flapped his dark robe like the wings of a crow as he hurriedly spoke to the two of them. He pointed up at the window where I sat, and I waved at them.

  The Special Inspector looked away quickly. His face was deathly pale. So was the waitress’s and the old man’s, come to think of it.

  “Do you think he’s sick?” I asked. “Maybe something that’s spreading?”

  “Most likely it’s some poisonous qi technique he’s cultivating to take you out.”

  “Why do you think everyone’s trying to kill me?” I asked with a sigh.

  “Not everyone, just the people you’ve met so far.”

  “Still, but why?”

  “Because you woke up in a demonic sect’s laboratory with no memories, and you eat people. People tend to think that makes you worth killing.”

  I scrunched up my face.

  “That might be technically true, but I think you’re being pessimistic.”

  Cabbagy almost vibrated with rage.

  “Listen here, kid! My first memory was someone cutting off my head and throwing me in the back of a wagon. Then my wife went to work at the whorehouse cos I didn’t have no dick no more! So if you think I’m being pessimistic, then buckle up, sunshine, cos this is a harsh world and I’m just being realistic!”

  I patted Cabbagy.

  “You’ve had a tough go of it,” I said with sincerity. “I’m very sorry.”

  “Bah.”

  “I mean it, but for now I’m going to focus on the brighter side, like not being trapped underground without food.”

  Some of the other people in the restaurant were looking at me funny, so I waved at them. They stopped looking at me. I finished my tea, stood, and left. It was time for me to return to my plan: the waitress was outside, and I owed her an apology.

  ###

  The wind was getting pretty strong as I walked around the restaurant’s blue exterior. Small waves raced up the river, and the trees were bending. It was delightful to feel such movement in the air after the facility’s sterile environment.

  There was a small courtyard around the back used for storage and other tasks. I found the waitress and the old man, who I assumed was her father, unpacking food from a wagon.

  “Hello,” I said with a bow in their direction.

  They froze and stared at me, before hastily setting down the packages they carried and returning some polite bows. A little too polite, really, but I appreciated the gesture.

  “What can I do for you?” the old man said as he looked at the ground.

  “Nothing?” I said with confusion.

  “No, please, there must be something,” he said.

  “You misunderstand,” I said as I approached them. “I’ve come to speak with your daughter.”

  “Ai! My only daughter? Please, sir, have mercy! Tan Lu is only young and cannot help the way she looks.”

  Stolen novel; please report.

  The waitress, Tan Lu, looked at the ground with an expression full of shame. Was there something wrong with her neck? Is that why she kept looking down?

  I was very confused, but I wouldn’t let awkwardness get in the way of doing the right thing, so I ignored the old man.

  “Young miss?”

  She stiffened like a startled deer, but slowly lifted her gaze.

  “Yes?” she squeaked out.

  Her eyes were wide, and her face deathly pale. There must be an illness going about. For a moment, I wondered if I could still get sick, or if my regeneration would take care of that.

  Though such thoughts were a distraction, I ignored them and bowed until my forehead touched the dirt.

  “I’m very sorry for appearing naked this morning. I have been removed from society for some time, but that is no excuse for being so disrespectful. I humbly seek to make amends.”

  “It’s… alright…” she sounded as though she might faint. “There’s no need to trouble yourself.”

  I lifted my head from the dirt and brushed my forehead clean.

  “Please, if there is anything I can do to assist you two as a measure of recompense, let me know.”

  I looked around the back of the restaurant. Some crates needed sorting, and deliveries waited for someone to unpack them. A friendly broom leaned in the corner, and I could even help it sweep the courtyard. Whatever they wanted, really.

  After living as a street rat, nothing was too low a task for me, and I tried to indicate this in my beaming smile.

  “No!” shouted the old man. “I mean, no. It’s alright. There’s no need to make amends over a misunderstanding!”

  “Please, old man. I insist.”

  He stepped back from me with the same expression the Special Inspector had. Now I was sure there was an illness. The poor old man looked like he was on death’s door. I felt bad bothering them, but they clearly needed assistance, and I refused to let their pride get in the way.

  I stepped forward and took Tan Lu’s hands in mine.

  “Young miss, do not think I offer this lightly. Is there anything I can do to assist you?”

  She shook her head, and when I insisted, she shook her head all the harder.

  I shrugged.

  There’s no helping some people.

  “Very well,” I said with another bow. “Let me apologize again for disturbing your work, and I shall make my way.”

  It was a shame. I’d hoped to impress them with my favor so I could get a job and earn some coins to pay back the villager for my robes. Hopefully, another opportunity would present itself.

  I turned and strode away with Cabbagy tucked under my arm. I almost made it back around the corner before Tan Lu called out to me:

  “Wait!”

  I stopped.

  “Told you that they’d accept my help,” I whispered to Cabbagy.

  “I never said they wouldn’t.”

  “You said they’d try to kill me.”

  “I implied that.”

  “You’re being obtuse and you know it.”

  He said nothing in response, so I turned back to speak with Tan Lu.

  Her father was red in the face, but stood further back, as though afraid to get caught up in whatever conversation was about to happen. I was almost glad of that. The way he behaved earlier made me think he was quite a restrictive father. It was good that she could have some freedom in deciding how I repaid her.

  Tan Lu stood with one hand raised toward her neck, clearly nervous about something.

  “Yes?” I asked. “Did you think of something I can do?”

  “Um…”

  It seemed all her nerve vanished when she opened her mouth.

  “It’s alright,” I said. “I truly feel terrible and relish any opportunity to restore my honor.”

  “Is this how you flirt?” Cabbagy asked in a whisper so low only I could hear it. “Because if so, it’s disgustingly unmanly.”

  I wasn’t flirting, and I didn’t like the accusation. So, I dropped Cabbagy to the ground and let him tumble across the dirty courtyard.

  “Bastard son of a lettuce!” he screeched as he rolled into a puddle.

  We all ignored him.

  The young woman tilted her head as she looked at me, almost as though she were listening to the wind.

  “The Special Inspector told us that you dealt with Ren Feilong from the Shining Mountain Sect?”

  “I did.”

  “Well, if you could do that, then perhaps you could do another thing?”

  Now we were getting somewhere!

  “Anything,” I said with a smile.

  She took a deep breath.

  “A few days away lies the Great Northern Mountain. The Azure Tiger Blossom grows near the peak, and it’s said to be the greatest… seasoning in this region. If you could collect some for Tan’s Palace, our eel sauce would only grow in fame.”

  Her father stepped forward, his eyes wide.

  “Tan Lu, what are you…?”

  But then he stopped. Pale-faced and almost panicked with his illness. I’m sure he needed to use the toilet, since he stepped back and awaited my response.

  I shouldn’t drag things out.

  Still, I scratched the back of my head with confusion. I was ready to demean myself, but they were sending me out on a walk to pick flowers. Something didn’t add up.

  “That’s what you want me to do?” I asked. “You’re sure?”

  Her eyes widened.

  “Of course, that simple task is all I ask,” she said quickly. “Unless it is beneath someone like you?”

  Damn, she must have thought I was trying to welch out of my promise.

  “No,” I said with a blush. “I’ll do that, just… I expected you’d make me do the dishes or mop the floors or something…”

  “We would never do that,” she said with utter seriousness.

  “Alright,” I said. “How many flowers do you need?”

  She tilted her head again as though listening, or considering.

  “If you bring back a single living flower,” she said as she grabbed a nearby clay pot. “Here, place the flower in this and bring it back. That way, we can grow our own seasoning.”

  I took the pot and gave a bow.

  “I’ll be more than happy to do so,” I said. “Don’t worry, I'll be back soon.”

  With another deep bow, I took my leave, making sure to pick up Cabbagy on the way out as I headed back onto the road leading to the village.

  ###

  Qian Ling brushed a strand of silver hair away from her face. She couldn’t suppress her smile, and so she didn’t bother. Moments like this were why she worked so hard as a cultivator.

  From her perch atop the rooftop of Tan’s Palace, Qian Ling, inner disciple of the Shining Mountain Sect and senior sister to the brash but promising Ren Feilong, watched the thuggish wandering cultivator stride away along the northern road.

  She hadn’t expected the man who assaulted her junior to look so plain, nor to carry a cabbage. But that mattered not.

  Her revenge was in motion.

  She would reclaim the honor of the Shining Mountain Sect!