Azula stared at herself in the mirror of her room and shivered. For the umpteenth time, the jaws of despair yawned for her, wanted to devour her completely. All she had to do was give in. She gripped the sides of the sink until her hands were bone white. Her soul was one giant scar. The one on her face was but a pale imitation.

  She shook her head and looked up at herself. “Get a grip.” She breathed out the pain, held herself erect, and practiced a look of royal apathy. Once she was satisfied that it was sufficient, she left her room and made her way to the deck.

  Her uncle stood on the bow, overlooking the ocean. As she approached, he said, “There is a storm coming.”

  “Can lightning benders feel storms?” Azula asked.

  “What?” Iroh said, eyes wide, before chuckling. “No, it’s one of the ‘perks’ of aging. You may feel it yourself someday.”

  Azula never saw herself making it to old age. She stepped past him to look at the placid ocean. “We go forward.”

  Her captain, Lieutenant Jee, walked over to her. “That’s suicide!” he said.

  She turned on him, golden eyes blazing with cold anger. “Does the ocean command this ship?”

  The lieutenant realized he’d gone too far, but he stood his ground. “No, you do.”

  “Then you will obey my orders. The ocean may claim your life in this storm, but I will do it for certain if you countermand my orders again. Am I clear?”

  He bowed. “Yes, Princess.” His jaw twitched as he began giving orders to the crew.

  ***

  The storm picked up with a vengeance, forcing most of the crew below. Only the miserable few whose jobs required them to be outside were on the deck. The rest huddled in the bowels of the ship over a fire.

  Azula had long ago found a spot high on a bulkhead where she could observe the rest of the crew without them knowing. She felt a certain degree of peacefulness watching them move about the ship.

  “Who does she think she is?” Jee said, staring into his mug. “The spoiled brat doesn’t know the meaning of honor, respect, or care for her soldiers. She doesn’t care if we live or die.”

  She raised an eyebrow. She was half-tempted to go down there and challenge him to an Agni Kai, but what was the use? She didn’t care if they complained as long as they followed her orders. Fear kept them in line.

  But what of love? She nearly cursed Avatar Roku and his ridiculous pronouncement back in his temple. What had she experienced of love? What would she ever experience?

  Her uncle descended the steps to where the men were sitting. “She cares more than she lets on.”

  She leaned forward. How could he know that?

  Jee and the rest of the men stood in respect. “General Iroh!”

  He raised his hands. “Please, be seated. Do you mind if I join you?”

  “Of course, sir.”

  Iroh took his seat, and the rest of the men joined him. She was amazed at how he commanded their respect. They followed his orders, yet they were not terrified of him.

  “The princess is a complicated young lady. There are plenty of times when I don’t fully understand her.” He looked away. “Even her mother didn’t understand her. Would you like me to tell you a story?”

  The men nodded.

  ***

  For as long as she could remember, Azula wanted to be included in the war meetings her father held. He’d let her brother Zuko go in, but never her. He’d said she was too young. She didn’t get why he let her brother in. He was the weak one, the sensitive one. She was strong and smart and dangerous. She’d prove it to her father.

  She spotted her uncle standing outside the meeting. “Uncle!” She ran up to him. He always treated her like a little girl, but he was the only one she could persuade. “Uncle!”

  He smiled down at her. “How is my niece? Did you enjoy the doll I sent you?”

  She never told him that she’d set it on fire as soon as she’d received it. “It’s such a great toy! I can’t imagine living without it.”

  “I’m glad to hear it,” he said.

  She stood there, waiting.

  “Do you need something?”

  She nodded. “May I come into the meeting today? Zuko is already in there.”

  “You are not ready,” Iroh said, concern in his eyes. “Your mother wouldn’t have wanted you in there.”

  “My mother abandoned us a long time ago,” Azula said darkly. “I want to serve. Let me go in. Please?”

  Iroh stroked his beard, “If I let you, then you must stay silent, just like your brother. These old generals can be…temperamental.”

  ***

  The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

  She sat quietly with her brother on the outskirts of the meeting. In front of her sat the inner circle of her father’s advisors and generals. Fire burned in massive sinks around them.

  One old general sipped his tea and said, “The ninety-third division is overextended outside of Ba Sing Se. I recommend we let it stay close to the wall and attack from the opposite side. They will be honored to sacrifice themselves for the good of the Fire Nation.”

  Azula couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She glanced over at her dumdum brother. Zuko sat peacefully, a lot like Uncle Iroh.

  “It’s a waste!” she said, loudly enough to be heard. “Your diversion hasn’t worked the other times. Why would it work now?” She had no problem with sacrificing men, but only if it was a worthy sacrifice.

  Her eyes widened when she’d realized what she’d done. She glanced over at her brother. His eyes were full of fear for her. How she hated him for that!

  ***

  Iroh finished his story to the sailors. “She thought she would be fighting the old general in an Agni Kai, but it turned out to be her father. Naturally, it surprised her, but she fought with great honor and tenacity, even injuring the great Fire Lord. He rewarded her with pain and banishment. Only capturing the Avatar will end her torment.”

  “Why did she fight him?” Jee said.

  Azula hunched, clutching her knees to her chest. She’d asked herself the same question.

  “I’ve often wondered what would have happened if she’d refused and submitted to his mercy.” Iroh stroked his beard, just like he had in her memory.

  “And?”

  Iroh’s eyes grew sad. “I don’t think it would’ve made any difference. My brother is a hard man.”

  She rested her head on her knees and let a single tear trickle down her cheek.

  “So that’s why she is so dead set on chasing the Avatar.”

  “Yes.”

  “But why are you here?”

  Iroh furrowed his eyebrows. “Excuse me?”

  “Why did you come with her?”

  Azula raised her head. She’d wondered that very thing. It wasn’t like she and Iroh were close when she was growing up. He’d shown more interest in Zuko than in her.

  Iroh gave a far-off look. “I made a promise.”

  The door to the outside flew open, and a sailor ran in. “Sir, the man in the crow’s nest has been knocked out of it by the storm. He'll die for sure!"

  ***

  The sailor was hanging, one hand on a rail, underneath the crow’s nest. How he’d managed to maintain his hold in this pouring rain, Azula didn’t know. Without hesitation, she jumped on the ladder. The slick metal slipped from her fingers, keeping her from getting a firm hold.

  She frowned for a moment and then ripped off part of her sleeves. She wrapped them around her hands, tying them off. She put her hands back on the metal railing and found purchase. With that problem solved, she made quick work of climbing up to the man.

  She reached a point where she was parallel to him and reached out with one extended arm. Her other arm and leg were snaked around the ladder. “Come on. Give me your hand!”

  Too scared of the storm to be frightened of her, the sailor latched onto her hand. Thankfully, he wasn’t too large, or this wouldn’t have worked. She swung him down to the ladder below her. As she did, she looked down and saw Lt. Jee climbing up as well. He’d already gotten to the sailor and was helping him down.

  Azula took a short minute to breathe and calm her racing heart. Why had she helped him? She’d risked her life for someone she didn’t even know. Was she becoming soft like Zuko? Not wanting to think about it, she clambered down the ladder, trying to avoid the massive swells of water that crashed over the ship.

  Her feet touched the deck. “Lieutenant Jee,” she said.

  He’d been barking out orders concerning the sailor she’d rescued. When he looked at her, there was a new respect in his eyes. It made her feel uncomfortable.

  She cleared her throat. “Take us to safer waters.”

  He nodded. “The eye of the storm is close.” He began bellowing orders.

  Her uncle walked up to her. “That was a very brave thing you did.”

  She looked away from him. “It would have been a waste of men…to let him die, I mean.”

  She walked away, pondering what had come over her. What was the difference between her uncle and her father? Her father had always said to rule by fear, yet men followed her uncle out of respect and love. Was this what Avatar Roku had meant?

  The ship sailed into a circle of calm in the midst of the storm. She looked up and was greeted by beautiful, peaceful sunlight. She closed her eyes, taking it in with a smile.

  Something erupted from the ocean beneath the ship, startling her. She earnestly hoped it wasn’t some great sea creature. That would have been fitting for the troubles they'd had, but it would’ve created one more headache for her.

  It was the Avatar’s flying bison. Aang was riding the thing. For a short while, their eyes locked, and she felt a strange warmth. Fate was pulling them together. The moment passed, and he flew away through the open circle of clouds. They were connected, but she was his polar opposite.

  If that was true, then he was the hero. She was the villain, the monster. She’d been called that before. Her stomach churned at the thought, and sweat beaded on her brow. She wiped it off and stared at it on her fingers. Then, the deck began to swim, and the bright sky darkened.

  She fainted.

  ***

  The next several hours were filled with hallucinations. Dark memories and hopeful visions darted in and out of her mind. She vaguely knew that her uncle was sitting with her, putting cool, damp cloths on her forehead.

  One awful memory kept returning. It was the night her mother had disappeared. Azula had been sneaking around the palace. She loved to eavesdrop. She’d already overheard that her father would have to kill her brother. She figured she should tell him, but her mother had dragged her away from him when she tried and demanded Azula tell her everything.

  Later that evening, Azula saw her mother hurriedly walking with a female servant. They were coming toward her, so Azula hid behind some curtains. They probably hadn’t seen her.

  They stopped in front of the curtain. For a heart-pounding second, Azula thought that they might have spotted her, but they continued their conversation.

  Her mother, Ursa, took out a letter. “After I leave, give this to General Iroh. No one but him must see it.”

  Mom was leaving? She hadn’t told Azula. Her heart thundered in her ears.

  The servant slipped the letter into her sleeve. “It will be done.”

  “It’s up to him, now,” Ursa said. “He’ll need to take care of my boy. They can’t both become monsters.”

  Ursa and the servant walked off, but Azula stayed behind the curtain for a while. Suddenly, her legs lost their strength, and she slid down the wall. The words were daggers in her heart. She and her mom didn’t get along, but now she knew what her mother really thought of her.

  “I’m not a monster, I’m not a monster,” she moaned. “Please, Mom, don’t go. I’ll be better. I’ll be good. I promise.”

  She heard Avatar Roku’s words once more. “Choose love.”

  Everything else faded into fevered oblivion.

  ***

  Azula awoke to the sight of Iroh’s kind face. She tried to sit up, but the room spun.

  “Water,” she croaked. Her throat was as dry as parchment.

  He gave her some, which she drank greedily.

  “What happened?” she said, her voice cracking.

  “You had a spirit sickness,” Iroh said. “You are becoming something else, something better.”

  Judging from how bad she felt, Azula didn’t want it to happen again. “That was a one-time deal, right?”

  He shrugged. “You have a lot of growing to do.”

  She frowned. Memories of murmuring through the night trickled into her mind. “H-how much did I say when I was sick?”

  “Enough,” he said. He reached for some tea and handed it to her. “I’m told this has healing properties.”

  It was good. “Thank you,” she said, not realizing that was probably the first time she’d ever said that to her uncle.

  “You’re welcome,” he said.