“When you invite somewhere for special occasion, you dress up,” Nino winked at Alex and slicked back his hair in the kitchen of the original shop. “What? You no like-ah the suit?”
The whole gang, save for Giat, Brody, Francesca, Emilio, of course the Gnomes, and Vrshkeuc, who was tending to the Safety Spires and the Leather Spires, stared at him.
Flaring his arms down, Nino shot out the crispiest starch white cuffs Alex had ever seen. Wearing a double-breasted mustardy brown merino wool suit and shiny black loafers, the old lich didn’t pose, but he really didn’t have to. He looked fashioned from the 60s, and with a full head of hair and a chiselled jaw line, Nino was downright dapper. Alex didn’t even want to know how much the solid gold watch had cost once upon a time. Reaching into his breast pocket and tossing a lit cigarette that didn’t stink into his mouth, Nino sucked down half while the gang admired him, completely unaware of why they were staring as he looked towards the stairs to their apartment.
“That’s a handsome grandpa right there. Sheesh.” Mary chimed in, in her least greasy hoodie herself.
“Give-ah Nina a couple minuti, then we go.”
“Insaaaanely slick, Nino.” Jemin complimented while leaning casually against the kitchen sink. The lizard man looked quite good in his ironed rainbow poncho himself.
A pinch tweaked Alex’s bottom, almost making him jump. “Yeah…yeah,” the pincher, Snu, in a very smart pant-suit, said as she cupped his left cheek from behind. “I think…I think I’m going to have to take Alex shopping for one like that.”
Alex spun on her, holding a hand to his chest in mock affront. “I just bought this,” he said while showing off his too-tight thrifted blazer, which he wore over his standard black t-shirt. “You don’t like it?” He jammed a thumb in Mary’s direction. “She told me I need to be smart with money.”
“Goodness ghostly gracious,” A high pitched voice piped from the top of the fridge, mixing with the sounds of a metal slapping together. “My dear boy, when someone wants to butter you up, and she’s a growing Dungeon Boss no less, you shut up and pose those…little buns of yours. You flex them, by all means! Clench them and look the part for her. And that blazer is awful.”
“Well you don’t need to be mean about it,” Alex responded back to Mr. Mystical, grinning at his newly possessed form. “I think we both could use some work in the clothes department, though.”
The ghost spun, clattering and opening his flap in what approximated an aghast expression.
“It is a bit on the nose,” Aria swung her feet from the counter, in a copped doll’s summer dress. “But I like it! I think it’s cool. I’ll help find you little mini sunglasses. We can glue them on!”
From the top of the fridge he came, loosely screwed together, wobbling to clank and draw attention. Now a part of the Lich, and with his three-eyed mouse body destroyed by The Collector, Mr. Mystical had been experimenting with a few objects to possess. A pizza slicer had felt too severe and the plastic containers too droll. While he found his current possession less dazzling, it had been readily available and unused by Nina or Nino, one of many available in the shop. The crucifix he had possessed for a few days felt a bit much as a previously snarky gay Protestant before the whole death and undeath thing. Timing the flap to flap in accordance to syllables was tricky, but he was getting the hang of it.
So, it was a tiny metal espresso pot that clanked together he would encumber for now.
“Next week then,” Mr. Mystical said to Aria, leaning in and whispering loudly for them all to hear. “Little girls date.”
A couple of boops and beeps sounded between the brothers. Beepy nodded seriously at Zippy, and flashed his own new addition, a drone sized resplendent red cape, Zippy’s being blue, before speaking for the both of them.
“NINO,” Beepy toned. “WE REQUEST A FASHION CONSULTATION AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE, PLEASE.”
Zippy nodded seriously and imagined himself in a smart suit. Ever since their weeklong winter vacation getaway to the beachside drone community, where they left Aria at home to her own devices to not cramp their style, both brothers wanted a spruce up. Being the talk of the town as the newest drone bachelors, and with a few parties under their hoods, enhanced with flash-drive substances and impressively statured lady drones, they now had an image to maintain. The Paladrones would not be outdone in arbitration of System justice or style.
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Nino chuckled with both hands on his belly. “Fashion? Eh, what I know about fashion? I have this suit seventy year! But if you need my help, we go together,” He waggled a thick finger covered in a gold wedding band. “Good clothes you pay for. You no cheap with it. Nice cost. And with the percent Tax Guild increase, you be careful, si?”
Alex cringed. As a holder of a Tax Guild chit, he’d gotten the letter as well. He, Snu’s holding company, Jemin, and of course, Nino and Nina. “Can we not talk about the increase please?”
“Nah, man,” Jemin crossed his arms. “It’s bull. Twenty percent instead of the ten? C’mon. Everyone’s going to have to raise their prices. I’m going to that Guild meeting next week.”
That set off Nino, who hadn’t shut up about it for the entire winter. And with the coming of spring in three days, the new charges were fast approaching. The old man raised his hand and backhand scooped under his chin for the Italian hand sign of everyone’s favourite saying.
“Ma, they can fuck-ah right off. The Council. The fucking-ah Council,” He reached in his breast pocket of endless cigarettes again, and this time pulled out a coin with his face on it. “This? I one of first people have Tax Guild chit. Is bullshit! They take the money on Credit movement! Five percent then! I take the coin, I pay the five point. I no pay no fucking ten,” his face got extremely red, and the temperature started to rise in the kitchen. “And I no pay no twenty!”
Everyone had already taken a step back from the angry Nino. Fire replaced his eyes, and he seemed taller and more muscular than before. The temperature in the kitchen had risen ten degrees from the heat pouring off his body. Nino himself seemed to realize that he had let himself get fired up, and closed his open mouth while lowering his steaming fist.
“Scary!” Aria giggled. “Nino, you can get all intense? And fire!” She looked at Mary. “I want fire magic! I’m going to get fire magic!”
Mary was about to pipe up, but stopped herself. There was no point when it came to Aria. The little drone was going to do as she pleased, and all Mary could do was try and protect her. Not that Aria needed protection. She was up to something in the range of several hundred [Ancient Paring Knife] triplings, all stashed away in the Paladrone hideout micro shipping container. Did she ever think where they came from or how her Skill worked? No, the drones didn’t. For the trio, nothing came in the way of their secret received System messages.
“I hear you Nino,” Mary said instead. “But how are we not going to pay them? Systems, how have you not been paying them the ten percent already? The Council doesn’t mess around with that shit. They haven’t sent anyone?”
“The Council? Low level nobody! All Council do is maintain bull-ah-shit Ward to steal! They come-ah here and deal with me. Can shove them up their own—”
“Mannaggia Nino! Give a rest!” Damnit, Nino! Nina’s voice called her husband from the second floor, which made him sputter out and look around for a flinging slipper.
From the back of the Pizza shop, everyone heard the clacking of heels coming down the stairs. Francesca and Nina were finally ready.
Overdressed would be putting it lightly as Francesca entered the kitchen first. She wore a bright red gown more appropriate for the opera, her already tall height standing on wobbly black heels. With curled hair and a serious helping of makeup, she looked gorgeous, but it was hardly the attire for what might be a muddy experience in the thawing forest where they were headed.
“Ow! Ow!” Snu catcalled and rushed over, extending her short form to match Francesca’s. The girls pecked each other on the cheeks, with Mary joining in.
Alex nodded and smiled in all the right places, complimenting his co-worker. He was still coming to terms with Snu’s knack for wrapping practically everyone around her finger. For her part, the Dungeon Boss pinched him on the butt once the girlish greetings were complete.
“Ahhhhh, la mia splendida rosa terrificante.” Ah, my gorgeous, terrifying rose. Nino pecked the floating Nina right on the kisser.
“And you too?” Mary snorted and shook her head, admiring Nina’s get up. “You look…damn, you look hot!”
Floating in a simple black dress with flat shoes, Nina looked fantastic. Her red hair was done simply, with her gold chain hanging around her neck, and with the spot of makeup, she looked ready to hit the town in her formal attire. Except, her and her husband weren’t headed to a romantic dinner.
“Ready?” Nina regarded them all, snickering as she caught Nino trying to look down her cleavage. Once everyone confirmed they were ready to go, she turned to Mr. Mystical and raised her eyebrows.
“Yeah, yeah,” the ghost extended his human looking miasma face out from the espresso pot lid. “I’ll watch the place,” When both Lich’s stared at him seriously, he continued. “I prrroooomise I won’t have a party or anything. And Alex and Francesca’s tips? They’re fine! I’ll pop back and forth between here and the east end location. Though I might try out this new dating site for Ghosts. Probably a bunch of weirdos on there…hmmm…Boo’d Up is the name.”
“Is first time we both leave since we become Lich. But…,” Nino explained while looking around the shop. “Is right time. No screw up!”
A couple rips on the espresso machine later, a portal tore their current reality plane apart. It started as a crack before quickly expanding to hang suspended a foot off the tiled ground of the kitchen. Strange, muffled music filtered out of the rainbow lava lamp-like display.
Nina and Nino budded up towards the portal, looking back at the gang who would be attending the Spring Equinox Birthing Ritual. Alex knew that the Gnomes had figured out how to reproduce and couldn’t wait to see what special goodies the ritual would bring. That, and how much Emilio might be involved.
He’d also seen Nina in her true Lich form. Now it was his turn to witness Nino’s.
“Bye kids! Be safe! Don’t be home too late!” Mr. Mystical made fake kissy noises from within his possession as Nino and Nina leapt into the portal together for the first time in twenty years. The gang followed, all dressed up and ready for a party in the middle of the woods.

