Chapter 1.5

  With a single swipe of their arm, hundreds of figures flew across the chamber with enough force to smash into dust against the wall.

  "No no no no no! Who are they?! They shouldn't be here!"

  A large and huddled form stomped angrily around their chamber. Although the room was adequately lit, the entity's form could not properly be determined let alone described.

  Although this description would do no justice, it might be best to imagine a giant man-child, plump from years of succumbing to their own sloth and gluttony. Instead of a stench of severely neglected hygiene, tendrils of abyssal miasma surrounded the entity, possibly creating the only person less pleasant for your senses to experience than an anime convention attendee. The entity's features constantly changed across its face, but every change is more hideous and out of place than the last, like some kind of LitRPG author trying to illustrate their own work but constantly erasing and trying again. The only clothing this figure wore was something mixed between a cheap bath robe and an adventurer's cape except woven from those nightmares you have about realizing you have a final exam from a class you'd forgotten (and therefore never attended) up until this point... You know the one. Their voice is a compilation of everyone who has ever gotten on your nerves so badly that just the sound of their voice ruins your day.

  "It's not FAIR!"

  As the entity huffed around the room like the man-child they resemble, they bumped into the shelves upon shelves of nerd and pop cultural paraphernalia. If one were to take a full step back and view the room, they would realize this other-worldly chamber was just as impossible as the figure residing within its walls. It should be noted that "walls" is used liberally, since in reality the chamber itself extends for eternity, theoretically there should eventually be walls, but in reality if they existed they would never be found. Spread across this infinite chamber were infinite shelves, each containing the entire existence of pop and nerd culture in the universe.

  The particular section of the chamber where the entity continued to throw their temper tantrum was the section specifically set aside from Earth, the man-child's current obsession. Occupying a gap in the shelves was massive a table, like the comically large ones in fantasy movies that royalty eat at, except instead of food this one was covered with games, dice, TTRPG guides, and more Cheetos and Funyuns than one should ever eat (a snack bag of each). The only spot on the table not completely covered with the chaos of clashing fandoms was the spot the entity just flung across the room with their greasy flabby eldritch man-child arm. The empty spot slowly filled as the destroyed materials returned to existence.

  The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

  "You seem to be troubled, my Lord." A new figure stood just outside the man-child's blast radius, close enough to chat without being affected by the temper tantrum or miasmic tendrils.

  Unlike the man-child entity, this new one was far from indescribable. In fact, one might argue this figure's features are so defined and memorable that they would be someone that a person would never forget even if just being seen for a moment. They were slim and tall, a wiry sort of build that resembled the personification of a snake. His eyes were bright green and just a little too charismatic for anyone's comfort. Below their small pointed nose rested the most memorable feature of their face, the mouth. The corners of the mouth were stretched impossibly wide, creating a grin the Cheshire Cat would be jealous of. The wide grin stretched the figure's lips so thin they were barely visible, and also exposed a mouth full of more blindingly white teeth than any humanoid creature should have. Although their face was plenty attractive, a thick layer of makeup paled the face to white that is only rivaled by their teeth. Colorful makeup danced across the face, creating a constantly moving display of shapes and colors. A vermillion suit fit to the already slim body like a second layer of skin, so perfectly tailored that the suit could only ever fit its current wearer. The suit itself resembled that of a butler, including a chartreuse necktie over a fuchsia button up shirt hiding beneath the coat. In case you're typing the colors into a search engine to verify, it would save time to just say they are all incredibly gaudy and oddly tiptoe between clashing horribly and seeming like they might be fashionable.

  "Tep!" The name the man-child called its snake-like servant. "They ruined it! I just wanted to play and they ruined it! Can't I have anything fun?!"

  Tep's grin widened, a feat that would have seemed impossible moments before. "My Lord, who is this they you speak of?"

  The man-child flashed a cold glare, made even more unsettling due to the constantly shifting features of their form. "I don't know!"

  The usual nonplused demeanor of Tep was immediately shattered. Their eyes lit up with interest that could only be interpreted as infatuation. "You, don't know... My Lord, either I do not understand the joke, or I am hearing something very new and intriguing."

  "It's not fair! I know everything! That's what omniscient is supposed to mean!" With another swipe, the man-child launched the contents of another section of their table. Some of the contents took a direct path to Tep, but disintegrated millimeters from their body.

  Unflinching from the questionably accidental assault, Tep's eyes continue to blaze. "And they are in your little... game?"

  "It's going to ruin everything! Do you know how hard it is to run a campaign?! They are going to ruin it!" The man-child's stomping caused the the entire chamber to tremble.

  "Would you like me to handle things for you, my Lord. I am most interested in meeting this creature." Tep couldn't help but shake with anticipation at having found a potential toy to sate their hunger.

  Taking a moment to weigh the options, a surprisingly level-headed response from the man-child, the entity eventually looked up to meet Tep's gaze. "Not you, I need you here for the next part. Send some of your minions, enough to wipe out a high level player. Make it so it isn't even close to fair."

  Tep's initial disappointment over the man-child's refusal to let them handle the job personally was immediately replaced with a new glee. "My Lord... Shall I send the hounds?"