A simple hallway in the temple contains various herbs of hallucinogenic nature. A number of the combatants are sick from the smoke wafting in the room with minimal air ventilation. Even still, men need to stab other men before the day is over. In particular, Porter Clonk, Lutz Albrinter and Flogalot are heavily invested in killing each other. On this day a noble, a pot head and a demon were fighting with the intent of killing, or whatever is happening as hallucinogenic herbs burn all around them and fill their senses.

  Lutz Albrinter bashed his shield against a clown whose eyes were slithering around like snakes. He brought his shield up and slammed the top of his shield against the clown’s chin and knocked him upward. The clown begins to float upwards into a sky that looks like some sort of vegetable soup. Then from behind him, a cloud of swirling mist forms into a humanoid shape with a weapon of some kind. Lutz responds by pressing his shield against the mist before stomping on the figure’s foot. There is a strange yelp of pain, but it’s foot crunches under Lutz’s boot normally enough. He then slams the pommel of his sword against the figure and the misty figure turns into glass and shatters and sprays across the floor.

  “I’ve never taken drugs before, but I can safely say that fighting a battle while high is annoying.” Lutz says.

  He looks out at an ever expanding hallway of floating rocks with strange figures and colors wiggling and bashing into each other. Elsewhere, a demon was having his own issues. He was leveraging his height, arm’s reach and whip’s reach to whip at everything and anything he could see. It was a massacre. The demon Flogalot smashed and shattered stone soldiers with his whip. The ground beneath his feet was actually a giant turtle in the middle of an ocean made out of melted cheese. As stone soldiers fell, they turned into pebbles under the force of Flogalot’s whip and rolled off the back of the turtle.

  “Damn it! Where is he?”

  The demon looks around and at the strange sea of cheese as he rides on the back of a giant turtle. As he does, he sees something ahead of the turtle. Nothing. It’s hard to discern without rushing water, but Flogalot thinks that the turtle is heading right into a waterfall, but made of cheese.

  “Hey! Stupid turtle! Not that way! Hey!” Flogalot stammers.

  Unfortunately for him, it is too late. The turtle begins to tip over and it’s single rider falls along with the turtle.

  “No! No! Hey! Hey!!!” Flogalot screams.

  Lutz Albrinter stabs at a dog of some sort made out of glass with bells around their necks. Before he could finish off the last one, a giant turtle shell crashed down in front of him. The shell rolled around like a loose wheel in the wind for a moment, before the turtle came out of it’s shell and started walking off in some strange direction and somehow managed to navigate the environment of floating rocks. It did leave behind a familiar looking demon. In that moment, Flogalot and Lutz locked eyes. In the blink of an eye, Flogalot shot up and swung his whip at Lutz. The mortal noble backed away and kept his shield between the two.

  “Well, you two have been annoying.” Forter Plomk’s voice rang out.

  The demon and noble’s eyes darted and searched for the source of the voice. Both of their eyes went wide as a spiked censer came for their heads. They both duck and weave out of the way of the censer easily enough, but the censer moves in mid air with an unnatural arc. This strange movement hit Lutz in the hip and Flogalot in the arm. Far into the distance, they saw Forter standing far beyond either of their strike ranges. Notably, the censer-flail Forter had been using was much longer than they both remembered. The flail had a chain with a length that could wrap around the town’s wall.

  “What bullshit is this?” Lutz glares at him.

  “I’m not sure what you’re talking about.” Forter snickers. “My drugs may affect your perception, but it doesn’t actually change me or my weapon.”

  “You twig of a man! Now that I see you, I can snap you in half!” Flogalot screamed.

  Flogalot charges at Forter. He’s still far from Forter, but he just needs to get within reach of his whip so he can eviscerate the mortal.

  “Hey, man, chill out.” Forter says.

  Forter brings the head of his flail up to his mouth. He blows on it and the smoke from the incense burning inside whafts towards Flogalot as a wall of smoke. As Flogalot comes in contact with this wall, he slows down his charge.

  “Urgh! What is this?!?!” Flogalot groans.

  “I’m using some great incense.” Forter says. “It has a very calming effect. With enough of it, I can put someone to sleep. The calming effect even works on the strange biology of a demon that manifested physically.”

  “Urgh! Bastard!” Flogalot shouts.

  At those words, Forter blows another whaft at Flogalot. This time, the wall of smoke physically pushes the demon back, or at least he thinks he does. Everyone is very high right now, what is and isn’t actually happening is still in question.

  “Shield Long Charge!”

  Lutz rushes at Forter this time. He isn’t moving at lightning speeds, but he moves with a steady charge with a shield at the forefront. The same smoke that pushed Flogalot back bashed against Lutz’s shield and the walls of smoke falls apart into a screen of butterflies. Beyond the butterflies, the shield crashes into Forter and he is forced back. The mortal men both crash through a wall of rotten wood. They crash onto a wooden floor. Rather, they find themselves on a cupboard with glass doors with giant ceramic plates. Either the plates were giant, or Lutz and Forter were tiny. While they’re on the floor, Lutz tries to run Forter through with his sword. Forter avoids this by punching Lutz on the hip, where the spiked censer hit Lutz earlier. With Lutz wincing in pain and some choice kicks from Forter, he slips out from beneath Lutz.

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  From above the two, Flogalot leaps down from the strange place with floating rocks and vegetable soup for a sky into this massive cupboard. Flogalot was understandably confused, but did not relent in his assault. Flogalot brought his whip down on Forter, but Forter side steps the whip crack and the chain of his spiked flail somehow lengthens impossibly long and matches Flogalot’s reach with his whip. Flogalot ducks underneath the spiked mace’s head and begins to lash out a flurry of whip lashes at Forter. The two use the reach of their weapons to try and kill or horribly maim the other.

  Lutz saw the two whip their weapons around wildly. They didn’t just lash out at each other. They moved in wide arcs that could easily hit anyone who dared to approach regardless of the direction they faced. Lutz wasn’t sure if this would work, but he came up with an idea. He lifted a plate off it’s resting place. The plate easily dwarfed him in height, and would do nicely here. Lutz rolled the massive plate down the length of this cupboard shelf. He kept Flogalot and Forter on one side and himself safe from any whip or flail head on the other side. The demon and zealot couldn’t ignore a massive plate rolling past them, and struck out at it. However, their blows couldn’t break the plate. Lutz, however, had the strength to break it.

  “Shield Bash!”

  Lutz slammed his shield against the plate and cracks spiraled up the plate. It came apart like an avalanche of porcelain. The porcelain shards in question were the size of horses. Namely, sharp porcelain shards that began to fall on Flogalot and Forter. The demon and zealot had to halt their assault dodge around the collapsing debris. As they did, Lutz himself ran towards the center of the cupboard shelf. Once there, he took his sword in both hands, and prepared to stab it in the floor.

  “Crumbling Strike!”

  The center of this cupboard shelf cracked and caved in under Lutz’s sword. The cupboard shelf was split at the center, and the plates on this shelf began to slide down towards the center. The blow had caused both sides to lean downward at the center creating ramps. Ramps that the plates began sliding down towards the center. Flogalot and Forter’s knees buckle under the sudden shock. They both looked up and saw massive plates sliding down them. With their footing compromised, they couldn’t dodge out of the way and they were both hit by plates of porcelain the size of houses on their way down. Both the demon and zealot were dragged down and fell some distance and crashed onto the next shelf of this cupboard. Wood splinters and shattered plates decorated the floor. They couldn’t afford to take a moment to take stock of the situation, as plates above still rained down on the two. They started to move out of the way of the falling debris. As they scrambled to move out of the way, Lutz rushed them. Lutz stabbed at the demon, right in the lower abdomen, but the blade didn’t cut far enough to do any noticeable damage. Failing that, he struck the edge of his shield into Forter. The thin man fell back as the edge of the shield struck him in the nose. Flogalot kicked at Lutz to push him away and gain some distance between the two. Flogalot then followed up by lashing his whip out as he fell back from the force of the kick. Unfortunately, another plate came down and got in the way of Flogalot’s whip. It was then that Lutz shoulder tackled the plate and the whole thing lurched out and struck Flogalot with what was effectively a wall of porcelain.

  Forter wiped at his face and found that his hand came back bloody. He was bruised in a number of places and Lutz smashed his nose to the point that it began bleeding. He tried to stand up again, but Lutz was trying to use this opportunity to kill Forter here and now. Forter pulled the chain of his flail taught to try and stop Lutz’s blade. The sword eventually stopped, but still cut into Forter’s arm.

  Flogalot managed to stand up again. He searched for his next target, and found both Lutz and Forter locked in combat some distance away. He prepared to rush at them, but his foot stepped on something. He looked down and saw a spoon the size of a catapult. He looked around and found a slew of giant silverware. Spoons, forks and knives of polished silver lined this shelf along with the debris from the plates above. A wicked thought crossed the demon’s mind. He used his strength to lift a fork and propped it under the spoon. With his demonic strength, he lifted a knife and stood on the spoon. He slammed the knife onto the spoon and launched himself up at the broken shelf above. He caught the edge and searched for the nails that kept this shelf up. He found two nails that barely clung onto the shelf. Flogalot used his obscene strength to throw the giant knife at one of the nails. The blade slammed into the nail and it was visibly cut. The knife slid back down as the shelf acted as a ramp and Flogalot caught it again. He threw the knife at the last remaining nail and it gave way to his demonic strength. The half of the shelf came down as the knife bounced upward after striking the last nail. Flogalot leaped up and caught the knife and prepared for a grand downward plunge.

  Lutz and Forter have been locked in combat. They each tried to end the other with their various skills and tricks. That is until the ceiling, or rather the shelf, above them began to come down. The two of them began to sprint away from the collapsing shelf. They got away soundly, but Flogalot was waiting for them. As Flogalot fell, he brought the knife he acquired down onto the two mortal men. They both leapt out of the way, only for Flogalot to descend on them with an unusually large knife. Lutz takes the brunt of Flogalot’s plunge with his shield. The impact causes the floor beneath them to crumble. The group falls through another shelf. This time, they fall into a river of some kind. When they each breach the surface of the water, they look around to find that the river cuts through what appears to be a forest made of bread and pastries. In addition, there were pastry decorations in the shape of forest animals singing a religious song often sang at the temple.

  ?Grace of Sathernee the world knew all,

  magic like a dance in fall.

  Smile when we find Urmahal,

  heart and home when we hear his call.

  Play nice in a grand new hall,

  meet them with festive Zeshtal.?

  Despite the strange locale and the strange sights and sounds, the two men and demon resume trying to violently kill each other. Flogalot brought his whip across, but the water halted it. The demon resolved to coil it back and bring it down again with an overhead swing. It has become evident that Flogalot’s whip works just fine if it starts it’s arc like that. Still he was having trouble hitting the mortal men. Forter brought his mace out of the water. The spiked censer flail head was soaked. The incense that once burned inside to create a hallucinogenic smoke was no longer burning or smoking.

  “Wait, is this just a hallucination, or are we actually in a river?” Flogalot asked.

  “Give me a moment, I’ll test it out right now.” Lutz says.

  At those words, he stabs Flogalot in the back. The blade pierced through much deeper than he had before.

  “Ugh! You rat bastard!”

  Flogalot lashed his whip out at Lutz, but it is very awkward in the water. Lutz dives under the water. Both Flogalot and Forter try to swing their weapons out at Lutz, but the river water makes that near impossible. Their weapons splash in the water harmlessly. When Lutz next resurfaces, he grabs Forter by the shoulder and drives his sword into his chest.

  “Ah! Shit! Shit! Ah!!!” Forter screams.

  Forter tries to awkwardly bring his flail up to defend himself, but he can’t seem to overpower Lutz. Lutz handily runs his sword through Forter’s chest. Lutz kicks Forter off his sword and lets him sink while the river carries him downstream with an open stab wound. Flogalot tries to swim to better get into position to whip Lutz. However, he is not closing the distance. In fact he is doggy paddling. This muscular demon is trying to slowly doggy paddle against the river. Lutz looks back at Flogalot with a furrowed brow.

  “You, uhh… you okay there?” Lutz asked.

  “Fuck you! I don’t swim a lot, okay!” Flogalot shouts back.

  Lutz gives him a sidelong glance, but doesn’t deny himself an easy kill. Lutz dives under the water again. From beneath the water’s surface, he thrusts his sword up at Flogalot. The demon can only scramble and take the sword blows as he helplessly paddles. As blood sprays into the river, the muscle bound figure melts into what looks like a regular mercenary.

  Satisfied with his work, Lutz lets that body float down the river too. Looking around once again, Lutz notices that he is no longer in the pastry forest. Although he doesn’t remember when it happened. He is no longer hallucinating under Forter’s drugs. He looks around and somewhat recognizes this place. He is actually in a river. He is actually in the Cerulean river. The river that cuts through Blue Pine town. At some point, during the hallucinogenic battle, the three of them must have actually fallen into the river and drifted downstream. Unfortunately for Lutz, he now has to find his way back to town on foot.

  “Gods damn it.”

  Lutz swims to the water’s edge and crawls out of the river. He looks upstream in hopes of spotting the walls of Blue Pine town and finds it easily enough. It’s just a long walk. As his adrenaline dies down now that the battle has come to a close, various parts of his body begin to ache and scream in pain.

  “Gods preserve me.”

  Lutz pulls a bandage from his pack and begins pressing it up against his hip. As he tries to bandage his own wound, he begins the slow walk back to town.

  “This must be why everyone tells me to stay away from drugs.”