“Phenolp Krakner get back here this minute.”

  I run away laughing. A cookie snagged. Auntie might be annoyed but mother secretly approves. I know ‘cause she just told me. I laugh again.

  It wasn't so funny when she caught up to me.

  -----

  “She is not allowed to play right now, she is in time out.”

  “Ah okay miss Kracknor.”

  I hear Alicia run off. I huff. She keeps getting my last name wrong.

  “You only have yourself to blame.”

  I'm still seated facing the wall. It's boring. I spend my time trying to hear everyone else. My mother's voice whispers to me on my progress. I was sad to find out that the voice wasn't really mother today. My tears have small titters to accompany them.

  -----

  “I asked around and it looks like we need two silvers each. It's also best if we figure out our adventurer names.”

  “O o o I'll be Preys.”

  “Ya, one word names are really unlikely.”

  Alicia thinks hard on the possibilities.

  “If we're going at the same time, how ‘bout a theme?”

  “Like what."

  Xerc shrugs. A theme huh.

  “I could go by ‘She who Titters’.”

  “You sure, you could probably just get Titters.”

  I smile at Xerc, I already know Alicia about to latch on.

  “I love it, I'll be ‘She who Preys’.”

  “I'll be ‘She who Stomps’.”

  We both look at Xerc who just gets embarrassed about his slip up.

  -----

  I'm seated in the client interview room.

  “You wanted to speak with me, Guild Master Thane.”

  “Yes, I need you to keep an eye on a recent transfer, she goes by Scratches.”

  I raise my eyebrow at this. I saw the rank two earlier. The pause before her level means she is already tier two in her race.

  “Exactly what should I be noting for.”

  “Possible adoption by the [Countess]. You need to report to me any issues that might be red flags.”

  That's quite big. “So violent tendencies, suggestability, or undue influences.”

  Ever since I got the first perception major boon, I ended up on the guild master short list for empaths. He nods.

  “Anything I should know?”

  I ask because he is putting off a great amount of nervous energy.

  “It's not my first meeting with Scratches. She was the lone survivor of the slaver camp a few months back.”

  “She's the murder ghost.”

  I titter at the man as he scowls at me.

  -----

  “He wants us to get close to the murder ghost?”

  “Yep, it seems she has exceptional hearing.”

  “How can you tell?”

  I throw a rock at a rabbit. Then stab it when it arrives by itself.

  “After Alicia left her, she was staring at us while we were talking. I saw her emotions fluctuate as we were talking. It's a pretty good indication.”

  “I'm still annoyed you sent me to ask her about porter work without telling me who she was, Titters.”

  I laugh, “Xerc thought it was funny.”

  “I did.”

  We walk to another rabbit. Alicia sighs.

  “I can ask her about porter work again, Titters, but I don't think she cares.”

  I smile at Alicia, “Actually it felt like she wanted to do it.”

  I throw another rock.

  -----

  “I'm not sure I can go past that line again.”

  “Aw come on Xerc, we got this. We can't pass up this opportunity to get stronger.”

  I'm watching Alicia try to rally Xerc confidence. I don't think I can help. How could I? I'm just the person who sees everyone's pain and does nothing. Worthless.

  I pan my eyes down to the line I am on the wrong side of. Right, breathe. I let out a titter. I hate it. Everyone who hears it thinks I'm laughing at them when I am just nervous. I titter, they look annoyed, I titter some more. Worthless.

  My mother whispers to me. My feelings lessen ever so slightly. I walk back to Alicia and Xerc. Alicia goes back pass the line. Her determination holds till she passes the line. Then she too devolves. Becomes muted.

  “I don't know how either of you can go back in.”

  I calm my emotions. Then turn to Xerc.

  “Alicia just hates being told she can't do something.”

  He looks at me. Then back at the line.

  “So this is what Scratches is feeling just to gather some clover. I think I'd take on the goblins instead.”

  “It doesn't work like that Xerc.”

  He looks at me.

  “A pariah aura never turns off. She always has it on her. That she is out there picking clover while also keeping it here must mean that when it is in her…it must be a hundred times more powerful.”

  “She’s always feeling this but worse?”

  He mumbles the last part. Alicia hops up and walks back. I can feel Xerc resolving themselves. If I walk forward, I think it will hurt his pride. But perhaps that is needed. I take a step toward that awful line. Xerc gets up and moves in front of me.

  -----

  “She appears to be emotionally unstable. When it comes to slaying she is efficient, no cruelty. She does not appear to want to kill anything with real intelligence.”

  “Explain.”

  “She had said she wanted to scare goblins away from her instead of causing them to kill themselves. That she could make money from their bounties did not appear to be a consideration.”

  The countess looks to the other woman in the room.

  “Cecelia, I was under the impression that she hated debt, why is she afraid of slaughtering goblins.”

  I feel a great sadness from Cecelia. I had watched her sign the adoption contract already.

  A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  “[Countess], her skill causes her to relieve memories of those she kills. She was deeply disturbed by the slavers who died by her aura. I fear she mourns them even though she was fully justified in the taking of their lives.”

  The countess nods at this.

  -----

  The green matron looms over me. My hands are bound.

  “Where the bleeding cat. Tell me, Phenolp Krakner.”

  I negate her effort. I am not sure I have enough to do it again. Bitch got the drop on us. She cuts my face again.

  “Go fuck yourself.”

  Xerc gives me time to breathe.

  “I don’ lik’ gettin’ violen’ chil'ren. But I hate bein’ made a fool mor’”

  She cuts Xerc this time. His eyes glaring defiance.

  “Now then, Xerc where the cat.”

  “I don't know.” Xerc answers in monotone.

  I do know. She comes to me. She is about to ask when there is a creak in the roof. I feel Alicia seize up. Before the green matron turns to the sound, I spit in her face. She grabs me by the jaw and cuts my face again. Then spits in my face. It's the last thing she does. Alicia's sword is poking through her chest.

  -----

  “[Countess] I think I may have seriously destabilized Sara.”

  The woman across from me looks at me with cold eyes. The emotion I feel from her is rage. We are standing in her cover spell. Sara can hear the entire estate.

  “It was not only emotional, she has been irrevocably injured, her body can no longer produce blood.”

  I start to shake. I was only trying to help her. To get her to accept herself. To move forward. The excuses run through my mind. Only the truth will work here.

  “I went too far, my lady. I thought it was funny and I pushed her when she wasn't ready.”

  “Sara is a girl who can't swim, who you just pushed into the middle of the ocean, miss Krakner.”

  I hang my head in shame. The rage in the lady simmers.

  “I want you to devote yourself to her. To be her eyes to those she can't see. To be the rational voice to her harebrained schemes.”

  “I will make a vow to serve her till she releases me.”

  “Plan on being released this morning then. The girl blames herself, not you.”

  I wince at that. My eyes glued to the floor. Then I look at the [Countess].

  “Then I'll vow to serve her till I forgive myself.”

  The countess leans forward.

  “Would you like my help making it a geas.”

  -----

  Eggs, eggs, where are the eggs. I opened another cabinet. Julia always handled the cooking for my aunt and uncle. I would watch sometimes. Oh that's the tea set. I should bring that as well. Julia was always ready with that. Finally the eggs, they are the bigger them my fist. Now I need a bowl. There.

  I place the egg and bowl. I tap the egg on the bowl just as I had seen. It doesn't gloop out. I look at the crack I made. I pry at the crack over the bowl. Success, o shit there a bunch of shells in the yolk. I pick them out morosely. I take a fork and beat the egg, hoping that I managed to get each of the fragments. I add some milk, Julia always added milk. How much though…O please don't be too much. I titter. I continue to stir with the fork dreading the lack of skill.

  I take the bowl to the stove. It has multiple interfaces. I touch the one furthest to the right. I grab a pan that is hanging above the stove, place it where I feel the heat radiate and pour the eggs in. They quickly cook, I move them about with a wooden spatula. It seems mostly stuck to the pan though. I scrape the eggs against the pan, finding it harder and harder to keep it from not sticking. An acrid smell begins to touch my nose. I move the pan off the hot spot. Burnt. My first day and I make her burnt eggs. My mother whisper to me what I already know. I have a long way to go.

  -----

  I pour some of the horned rabbit blood into my mistress cup. I then cut my hand and added a few drops of my own, enough to add flavor and to be cursed. I seal the wound as my mother voice informs me of my progress in life magic. I smile briefly, the more I progress the better I can serve.

  I place the cup in front of her. Then pull back to be behind her and to the right. My mother voice speaks again. I ignore it as panic rises in me, Sara is falling over and screaming. I rush to her side. The countess has beaten me to her.

  “Sara what's wrong?”

  “Mistress?”

  Her wails are piercing but she soon settles.

  “I think [Vampire] tried to etch me, but it failed. It didn't level up.”

  Etch? She seems so resigned. If she cannot drink she will die. Has my foolishness condemned her to waste away. She couldn’t last a day without blood.

  “Sara, this is important, how close are you to tiering?”

  The countess is full of worry too. She understands more than I do though, does she have a plan?

  “It's at eight.”

  Now the countess is putting out grim feelings. She looks at me.

  “Take her corset off.” Then she looks at Sara, “You caused yourself soul burn, Sara. I think it is going to happen again when you drink. But you have to drink. I'll be here the entire time."

  I pull Sara robes off her and undo her corset. Her body is not as ridiculously reduced as before, only moderately ridiculous. Stop, I need to focus on now. The countess hands me the glass. She wants me to do it…

  Sara hugs her mother. I go behind the countess, not sure I can do this. Sara is staring at me. I feel a great amount of resolve from her. I move to her and tip the glass to her lips. As she swallows she starts to scream again. I pull back quickly. I hurt her even more. Are my crimes to just keep compounding?

  It's ten minutes before she settles, I haven't moved since she started screaming, the countess hadn't either. I did this to her.

  “Did you gain another level?”

  I can't hear her answer.

  “Say when you are ready, Sara. I'm sorry for all this pain.”

  My mistress takes a breath. She then looks at me again, the resolve stronger still. She can't but I must obey. I have placed a geas on myself to serve her until I have forgiven myself. I know now I never will. My very soul thrums at my new truth. I tip the glass to her lips once more.

  Her screams begin again. By the time she stops she is unconscious. The countess picks her up as if she weighs nothing. I start to follow.

  “Tend to your duties Phenolp, she will survive this.”

  But… no she is right, Sara must survive this. Or I will follow her to beg for forgiveness in the next life. I take care of the dishes and tidy the kitchen. My thoughts ever towards Sara room. When finished I head up to her room. The countess sits next to her bed, Sara's breathing is steady.

  “Will she be alright?”

  “We won't know until she manages to drink, I only hope the next tier will be enough.”

  Sadness radiates off the countess. There is hope but there is also dread.

  “Why is this even happening?”

  My voice came out scared.

  “Her skill has been using [Soul Etching] every time she tiered up, I fear whatever change [Vampire] has for her, it needs [Soul Etching] to be greater than it currently is to complete it.”

  My thoughts just freeze at that. Every tier of blood drinker has been etching her soul. I pushed it into this. My selfishness. I begin to cry. No don't, if you cry, you start to titter. I can't stop myself. The tears cause me to spasm and I begin my nervous laugh. The countess will kill me for this. It only increases my titters.

  “Come sit with me while we watch.”

  I just nod and bring a chair. My damn titters don't stop for a long while.

  -----

  “You should go rest, Phen.”

  I look up, she is awake.

  “Not until I know you are alright, Sara.”

  “I'm hungry, mother if you would.”

  The countess hands her a new cup, when did she have time to get that ready? Sara drinks it, I wait for the inevitable screams to pierce my soul again. It's relief that floods it instead. She drinks it all, thank the system. My mistress lets out a bone weary sigh as she stares at nothing again. Her status screen I assume. The countess asks her what she sees.

  “So what did it etch into you?”

  Instead of answering she just shows us. I didn't know she could do that. I focus on the last line ‘Apprentice - your blood freely given will etch you daughters’. A chance to tie myself to her even greater than now. The countess asks another question.

  “What does that even mean, Sara.”

  Sara huffs again, she puts off a feeling of annoyance and resignation.

  “I told you about the mythos of vampires, they don't reproduce through normal means. It's more an initiation sort of thing in most fictions. I don't know how it will translate here. Clearly the skill needed my [Soul Etching] to be capable of etching other souls. I fully know I wouldn't wish to bequeath anything negative onto others. Certainly, not [Blood Drinker] itself. At least the skill depends on if I give it freely, no accidents. No worries then, another skill that I can manage by not engaging.”

  No that won't do. She can't deny herself. She made this skill, her very soul wants this of her. She wants daughters. She knows not to fight her system. Yet she plans to do so anyway. To avoid possibly harming others. She needs to understand this to be a blessing not a curse.

  “Yes, Sara, everything is still f—”

  “I volunteer.”

  They are both looking at me, incredulously. I don't care, I glare back at them with the resolve I saw from Sara before. I go to convince the countess.

  “We need to know what it does, we can't be blind to her skills [Countess]. The more knowledge she has the better. I fully take responsibility and volunteer.”

  Sara is becoming increasingly annoyed. It doesn't matter, convincing the countess is first, then Sara.

  “I won't be able to reverse any of the changes Sara does to you. It will be part of your soul. No amount of life grafting will fix it when your soul is etched.”

  “I understand.”

  She is giving her consent. Good. Now to convince Sara. All I can do is say the truth.

  “Mistress Sara, I give myself to you. It is my penance. My guilt has only grown larger after last night. Please let me do this for you.”

  “This is too much, what if this makes you a monster. You said you didn't want to be a burden on my soul.”

  She is frightened. Of herself.

  “It won't make me a monster, mistress.”

  “How can you be so sure?”

  Her screams are less than last night's. I give her a patient look.

  “‘Cause you're not a monster, mistress.”

  She looks to the countess in hopes of an escape. When rescue doesn't come, she looks back at me. Her emotions are all over the place. I am pushing her again, not learning from my previous mistakes. But this is right. I will share her burden. Sara's feelings become resigned and then resolved.

  She cups my face as if she is to heal the scars like before. Then she leans in and kisses my lips. But why, then she pushes liquid into my mouth. Her blood. I can feel the intent in it. I swallow accepting it all. My souls burns, my body warms, I dare not scream. My eyes stretch, my ears grow, I can feel my fangs. My soft shoes are ripped and I feel my tail push out my lower back.

  I see my tail now, it's purple fur with flecks of gold. My mother's golden hair. My mother…yes I suppose she is now. I feel my new ears. A voice tells me what I have gained. I look at my mother amazed at what she has given me.

  “Thank you, mother.”

  I meant every word of it.

  -----

  “Um Phen, when did you become a cat?”

  Xerc is looking at me with a raised eyebrow. Before I can answer him, I feel a large amount of envy from behind me.

  “Oh Titters.”

  I can only think of doing one thing. I ran away.

  -----

  I never knew why she had such pain. But now it makes more sense. I hug Xena while our mother argues with Thane. Alicia joins in our hug.

  “Why won't you just update her adventurer card.”

  “I just want to understand what's going on first. You're too young to be infusing people.”

  Mother huffs at that.

  “You already know my age is not the same as this body. I have three daughters now. I accepted it, so you can just get over it.”

  I titter at that. Thane was always so intimidating but here is a ten year girl walking all over him. He just cups the right side of his face as he stares at the ceiling.

  “Fine, what changes do you want on his card?”

  The guildmaster is exasperated.

  “Her card.”

  Sara is getting very angry at this point. Xena walks forward, her card in hand.

  “It is as mother says, I am Xena, ‘She who Stomps’.”

  -----

  I laugh at my mother's suggestion. Poor Alicia, my sister will have to try and meet her impossible standards tonight.

  I hadn't told Sara that her voice replaced my birth mother's voice. Talking with my sisters, it's true for them as well. I hope we can help heal her pain. Maybe then I can forgive myself.