17-10-1706

  Mother has grown tired of my sloppy writing and demanded I keep a diary, if only to force me to write more. I always wake up before everyone else. It's lonely in the castle. Mother used to stay awake with me. But after I was seven she said enough was enough, I was old enough to be by myself for a few hours. As if the various attendants weren't watching. They never speak to me.

  She wasn't all too happy when I asked her if it really was enough.

  -----

  “This is Hectonal and Randinrin. Greet them, Sarcea.”

  I look at the two new Elves. A boy and a girl. My age. Hectonal was a head taller with blond hair and vibrant green eyes. Randinrin was at my eye level, pink haired and bright ruby eyed. They were the same pale peach skin color as me. I had only recently learned that all Elves were descended from mother. I was only her latest.

  Mother had informed me that I will need to start trying to have children at fifteen. If I do not choose a mate by then, she will. Now she is testing suitors on what probably are my niece and nephew. Gross. I can only hope there are a great deal of greats between us.

  “Sarcea!”

  “Sorry…greetings, I am Sarcea.”

  The two loom over me. Examining me. The girl stared at my face while the boy looked over my body.

  “What interesting eyes, I have never seen another with such a muted blue.”

  Neither have I. All those around me had such shining eyes. Only mine had no brightness.

  “Nor have I seen one with such a figure, she looks more like a human trollop than an Elf beauty.”

  I gave a withering glance at the boy. So what if I wasn't the classically lithe beauty of my mother.

  “New princesses can retain a bit of their prior Lark’s characteristics. I suspect she will conform on her next one.”

  To be closer to mother. It is hard to find warmth in her but I spy it every once in a while. She has told me that she will personally see to my next few Larks.

  “Is this her first Lark as an Elf then. I hadn't thought it possible for a hybrid to live long enough to get a Tapestry.” The girl asks.

  “It happens from time to time. Usually an errant Elf lord goes and leaves his seed in some lesser race and doesn't make sure the sow isn't pregnant before they leave. Do keep her safe. She is not to do any slaying unless it is inside Winkcrall's Grove.”

  The boy looks like he wants to ask a question but a look from mother silenced it before he could. She left me alone with the two in my room.

  “So Sar, what do you do for fun?” The girl asks.

  “Sarcea, I mostly just read.”

  The boy fiddles with my medicine bottle. I snatched it away from him. Mother told me to not let anyone touch it. A drop a day, but only for me.

  “What? It looked strange, Sar.”

  “Sarcea…sorry, it's my medicine.”

  “Are you ill, Sar?”

  I give an annoyed look at the two who keep using the wrong name on me. The boy elbows the girl.

  “They say new princesses can be rather adamant about their names.” He tells the girl.

  “Aw but I don't want to say the [Empress] name, Sar is just a nickname, okay? I know your name is Sar…cea but work with me here.” She shivers at the ‘cea’ part. “They say she knows to focus on whoever says her name even if it's part of someone else's. Look, you can call me Rin. Fair?”

  Annoying but if it makes her more comfortable, I'll allow it. Seems everyone is on their toes when it comes to mother.

  “Fair…”

  She smiles a pretty smile at me. The boy intrudes on the moment, “Tona for me. Your illness?”

  I want to hide now but if I do end up with one of them, they should at least know the truth.

  “I haven't been able to cast any spells…my physical stats are, like, super low as well. Mother tells me I have a curse.”

  They are shocked by this, “One even she can't break?” Rin murmurs.

  I nod. “The medicine is meant to help.”

  “Well what are your physical stats at?” Tona asks

  I ask my soul, mother's voice answers. As cold as usual. “Ten strength, eleven agility, twelve perception, ten constitution.”

  I relayed the values. They both winced. Rin speaks, “What about your mental ones?”

  I don't know. My soul never answers that. No matter how many times I ask.

  “Does it matter, I can't cast spells?”

  “I mean knowing you could resist mental magic could help with certain parts of the Grove.” Rin points out.

  “What’s the Grove like?”

  They shrug, Tona spoke up, “Jungly, plenty of herbs to pick and monsters to kill. Pretty easy to start though. It's like a new dungeon, still letting people live. Want to try it?” He had a smile that said he wanted to be there on my first go.

  I suspect something awful.

  -----

  Monkeys. Five armed monkeys. One on their back especially made to fling feces.

  The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

  The Grove was full of these monkeys at its entrance. Mother's voice told me they were level three.

  “Are you sure your agility is only eleven?” Tona asked.

  A hard fought eleven at that. For the longest time my physical stats were stuck at ten. Attempts at using strengthening trinkets and constitution crush bands did nothing. Then one day, mother's voice informed me of an increase. I had exhausted myself running. Arccor that day told me to move onto the obstacle course instead of resting. I couldn't breathe but I did it as fast as I could. I got a stat increase. I cried that day.

  “Sar?” Tona breaking me out of my thoughts.

  I dodged behind the monkey and stabbed it in the neck. “5 exp for Grove Monkey.”

  “Sorry, lost in thought, it's still eleven.”

  “But you move with such grace. I would have assumed at least four times as much.” Rin opines.

  “You seem rather lethal for supposedly being distracted.”

  I don't want to talk about my other attention. Or my skills. I just have a desire to stay silent about them. I give them a shrug.

  We skin the monkey fur. Apparently good for coat linings. With the coming winter, there are more requests for them. When we had all we could carry we headed back to the local adventure guild. It was near the courtyard of the castle. The adventurers renting a space from mother. It was run by a big ole Minotaur. The Pimar lady at reception looked bored.

  “‘Flowing Locs and Blade’, ‘Burning Eyes, Burning Hands’ we will need to charge a guest fee for your third member.” Said the green and black furred woman in [Common].

  “I don't need to split the request.” I responded.

  The Pimar was a bit shocked. Not sure why. My two companions were rather annoyed at that.

  “Don't be putting us into your debt, Sar.” Admonished Rin.

  “You seem fluent in their guttural." Tona said with a bit of disdain. “Surprised you're not registered.”

  I shrugged, just didn't want to do it. Not like I needed money.

  “If we are going to do this again we should totally get you registered.” Rin grabs my arm and pulls me toward the counter.

  “No.” It came out louder than I wanted but I managed to pull my arm away.

  “Uhhh okay, don't get all huffy about it.” Rin was a bit petulant about it.

  I left them there in the hall to return to my room.

  -----

  The door opened while I read more about the various reforms of the first hundred years of mother's reign.

  “So, how did it go?”

  I roll my eyes, “It went. They tried to register me at the adventurer guild. Rin was rather aggressive about it. I kinda … left them there after I refused. I'm sorry.”

  Mother looks at me with her rather evaluating stare, “Think nothing of it, I am certain they will be eager to see you tomorrow.”

  Or forced to be. No one talked in the palace. The only looks I received were angry ones. Like I was a monster. Maybe I am. Princesses were Elves that were being punished. We all bore our mothers name so that she can watch us. I want to ask her. A part of me struggles with it, but I do.

  “What was my crime, mother?”

  My only answer is a flash of annoyance.

  -----

  18-10-1706

  Another blank spot in my memory. Dairies Diaries are supposed to help you remember but what if you don't even remember what happened before you put a quill to paper.

  -----

  “I'm sorry, I tried to force you to do something the [Empress] had forbidden you to do.”

  I look up to see Rin. I don't recall being forbidden but I just shrug. Perhaps it was in one of those blank times. My memories were so few. The curse has injured me so much.

  “Sorry to have left so abruptly. Perhaps instead of the dungeon we just do spars.” I suggested.

  She smiles at that, “Actually I'm shocked you haven't leveled. Like how are you thirteen but level one.”

  I give her a sad smile, a murmur of “Curse.”, then look back to the book.

  “Wait, your curse prevents you from leveling. That's just insane.”

  Seeing that I don't respond, she looks over my shoulder.

  “Whatcha readin’?”

  “Practical skills for every Elf.”

  “Boring, I can rattle that off without even looking at a book. [Aura Sense], [Telepathy], [Life Mana Sight], [Speak:Common] and [Resist Sound].”

  She was correct, unfortunately I could not gain either [Telepathy] or [Life Mana Sight]. Magic abilities were beyond me. [Telepathy] in particular was annoying. I can receive them but I could not respond. The whole castle was silent, all conversations were done through it lest they be overheard. Mother let me into a secret though. Getting the fifth Major boon in perception lets you eavesdrop on others [Telepathy] conversations. I smile at the memory.

  “Oh wow, you do have an emotion other than adrift or annoyed.”

  I give Rin an annoyed look.

  “Nevermind. That didn't last long.”

  My smile returned. I wanted to laugh but didn't. Rin tilted her head at me.

  “Sarcea, it is time for your training.” A familiar voice intones.

  “Coming, Arccor.”

  Rin quirks her eyebrow. She didn't notice him following us into the dungeon. I'm pretty sure the man was my shadow at this point. I grab her hand.

  “If you come along, maybe I can spar with you instead of Mr. Impossible to hit.”

  -----

  The impossible to hit Elf had me do laps. I suspected an extra one was tacked on even after I ran out of breath. Rin lapped me twice.

  “Since you have tired of me Sarcea, square off against your guest.”

  Well that would have been a relief…if he hadn't worn me out. Rin was still full of pep. I started my assault. She blocked and dodged. Then repaid my sloppy form with a twack. I shook my hand and resumed my position. I was breathing hard.

  “Sar, you were faster yesterday, what gives?”

  Before I can answer, Arccor admonishes me, “Sarcea knows she is not supposed to use that skill.”

  “Unless it was life or death, well dungeon fighting is life or death.” I give an annoyed retort.

  “The dungeon has yet to claim lives.”

  Was his reply. Which to be honest was just shit. I roll my eyes.

  “So you want me to get into the habit of not defending myself with all my tools.”

  I just get a stern look that tells me I will be paying for this later. I was disobeying etiquette by mouthing off. Nevermind I need to at least hit Rin once. For my self esteem.

  I focused harder. Holding my position waiting to strike. She started to become unnerved. When she was about to say something I darted forward. It was for naught. She danced around me and smacked me on my side. I hobbled a bit from the bruising.

  “Jeez Sar, I thought you weren't breathing there for a moment. You even look paler.” Rin notes.

  Arccor studies me, “Tonight is a purification then?”

  I nod.

  “Purification?”

  Arccor responds, “The princess requires weekly purification to stave off her more unwanted traits.”

  The girl just looks confused at my martial teacher.

  “My curse.”

  She has a face of understanding now.

  “So what's involved?” Rin probes.

  “I never remember.”

  Back to being confused. I wanted to laugh again. I settle for a small smile.

  “I feel like you're making fun of me.” Rin pouts.

  “I have a remedy for that.” Arccor hands her an ice wand.

  I just sigh. The impossible elf wishes to make sure I don't mouth off again. I go to the circle he made when I was ten. They both aim. I do my best to not get hit. The number of misses was far lower than the number of hits. He knows any bruises I bear will be gone by the time I finish the purification. I feel a bit of deja vu about dodging ice pellets from two attackers. My confusion results in Rin scoring a hit to my forehead.

  “Damn it, Barbain, no heads shots.”

  Rin only tilted her head, “Who is Barbain?”

  I don't know.

  -----

  The Elf girl Sarcea kneels in her private purification room. She grasps her horn. The cackles fall out of her even as she snaps the left one. Her meager strength should not be able to snap such dense things but they are but twigs in her hands. As if they were eager for her to continue her path of damnation. It is of no matter. She places the first horn in a box. She then cuts her hand, still laughing. A bit of her mother's blood seeps out. She clasps her hands to her chest. Willing it away. It is gone. To wherever it needed to go. Also of no matter. More laughter. She dribbles some of her own Elven blood onto the floor. She then attached a bracelet to her wrist. There was tubing attached to the floor and a blood red gem embedded in the device. She feels a pinch and a viscous white liquid is pulled out of her. She continues to giggle. When done she dabs a potion to her wrist and forehead. Finally she snips a tuft of hair at her temple. Then she breaks the other horn. The laughter ceases. She places it into the box. More potion to grow skin over her other shattered horn. She then closes her eyes and removes a piece of her soul, the memory of the ritual, the memory of what she thought was funny.

  She never remembers what happens when she enters. Only surprised to find herself rather faint. She returns to her room, takes a drop of blood masquerading as medicine and goes to sleep.