Misbah's eyes fluttered open.

  Darkness still pressed against the paper screens. He gnced down and saw Hiroki's arms still wrapped around his belly. Large, strong, veined hands, their weight familiar and warm, holding him safely against her even in sleep.

  He turned his head back. She was still sleeping soundly, her face rexed in a way completely different from when she was awake. Her shes were longer than he had ever noticed, twitching every now and then.

  A quiet chuckle escaped him. He wondered, what could she be dreaming about?

  Slowly, carefully, he pried her fingers loose and slipped from her embrace. His legs wobbled slightly as he stood, his bones still weak from earlier. He gathered his discarded robes and dressed in silence.

  The low table waited where he had left it. Two cups of wine. A small spill from earlier had dried into a pale stain on the cquer.

  He sat and stared into one cup. The wine was clear as tears, his own reflection wavering on its surface.

  The Queen's voice echoed in his skull, smooth as poisoned honey:

  “You wish to go home, do you not?”

  Home? Misbah’s bottom lip trembled. Where is home now?

  His gaze drifted to the sleeping woman. She looked so peaceful in the dim light, as though she had not just survived a year of hell, as though the world had not fallen apart around her. But that was like her, wasn't it? Carrying impossible burdens on that formidable back, never letting the weight show on her face.

  A part of him wished she had never come. Wished he had sat here alone all night, waiting for a ghost that would never appear. Wished the rumors of her death had been true.

  But the moment she stepped into the room, his chest was flooded by a joy so fierce he could no longer deny… and a frigid, bone-deep dread. She was the first and st person he wished to see.

  Once she entered the threshold, there was no going back. If he could not do it himself, the Queen would find another way.

  And now, all he had to do to go home was…

  His breath came in trembling gasps. He forced himself to breathe deeply, to steady his shaking hands, then he dabbed at his wet eyes with his sleeve and reached into his pocket.

  He pulled out the small bag.

  Just a nail's edge would be enough. With trembling fingers, he scooped the smallest amount onto his pinky nail, reached shakily toward the left cup, and poured.

  The wine swallowed the powder without a trace. It was still perfectly clear.

  “Misbah.”

  His heart stopped.

  Smoothly, he tucked away the bag back into his sleeve and turned.

  Now awake, Hiroki was leaning on her side, propped on one elbow, the silk bnket pooling around her waist. Candlelight gilded her bare shoulders, her supple breasts, and the new scar on her cheek.

  “Why are you awake?” Misbah asked, keeping his voice carefully casual.

  She tilted her head. “I should be asking you that.”

  "Just trouble sleeping. Nothing more."

  “Hm.” She rose from the bed, picking up her robes and dressing herself. She tucked her outer yer, smoothed her sleeves, and crossed to the low table, settling beside him.

  “You do not lie well,” she murmured.

  His throat tightened. He forced his lips into a fragile smile, willing the heat in his eyes to subside. "How have you been? This past year."

  Hiroki chuckled softly. “You know. Traveling the seas. Enjoying the scenery. Taking a respite from courtly duties.”

  An exasperated sigh left Misbah, though there was no heat to it. Hiroki only chuckled more at that.

  A small silence settled between them.

  In a quieter voice, Misbah murmured, “...Everyone said you died. I… we…” He stared at his hands, and the tears he tried to suppress swam back. “Everyone… Aki, Furong… The Shimizu estate…”

  “I know,” she said softly. “I know.”

  Misbah’s gaze snapped up. “You… you know?”

  She nodded. “I have been back for three months now.”

  Misbah’s heart stopped. Suddenly, breathing became difficult. Her words rang in his ears, not making sense. Three months. She had been alive for three months. She had been back for three months.

  “You…” His voice came out thin. “You’ve been back for… three months?”

  When she did not deny it, confusion detonated into fury. His fists clenched so hard his knuckles cracked.

  "That damn—" His whole body shook with seismic rage. "She hid it from me. She hid it. All this time, she let me think—"

  She watched him wordlessly. A small, weak smile curved her lips. "It was a trial, settling back into the residence with everyone gone. My own home did not feel like my own for a long time." She paused. "...Especially with you gone."

  Misbah’s heart clenched. He swallowed difficultly. “So then… what made you come here? To the Capitol?”

  She chuckled, this time without humor. "Her Majesty herself invited me. For a drink together, in her words, with the 'hero of this war.' I would have declined that old fox, had she not used your name."

  He blinked. "My name?"

  Hiroki's smile faded, a cold glint flickering in her eyes. "She said you had become hers. After I was gone."

  His eyes widened.

  She gnced around the room. "And when I saw you sitting here instead of her, in the inner pace... I admit, I was quite—"

  "She's lying!" The words tore from his throat as he surged to his feet. "She's lying. I never—I have never—"

  "I know." Hiroki caught his trembling hand between both of hers, gentle but firm. "I have never been more certain of anything." She coaxed him back down, smoothing the back of his hand until the rage racking his body began to quiet.

  When his breathing steadied, she studied him for a long moment. “Misbah. Do you wish to leave this pce?”

  Misbah exhaled shakily. "There has not been a single day I have not wished to flee."

  “And where would you go?”

  His lips pressed together. “...Home.” His voice wavered.

  Hiroki stayed quiet for a stretched moment before nodding. “Then, let us take you home.”

  He looked at her, expression tight and pained. “...I do not know where I belong anymore.”

  “My dear. You belong where your heart desires.”

  “...I am scared,” he confessed in a small voice. “Of what’s to come. What awaits me.”

  "Misbah." She leaned closer, her gaze holding his. "Whatever happens, it will be alright. I will take care of it."

  He stilled, staring at her through gssy eyes. A trembling smile touched his lips. "...You're right. You always do."

  Then, he picked up the porcein cup on the right and pced it before her. “The night is still young. What shall we toast to?”

  Hiroki smiled. That handsome, lovely, breezy smile. She lifted her cup. “To the most beautiful flower to ever bloom under the stars.”

  A giggle broke from him through unshed tears. Just before he reached for his cup—

  “Misbah.”

  He gnced up, and suddenly, her mouth was on his, ciming him into a deep kiss. A muffled gasp escaped him, but before he could question, her hand pressed against the back of his head, holding him in pce.

  He stopped thinking, shutting his eyes and grasping the front of her robe to kiss her back with everything he had. She was relentless, tilting his head, angling for deeper access, stealing his breath, locking him in pce with her one hand each time he tried to pull away.

  Just as he was getting dizzy, she finally let go, and his chest heaved to catch his air. When his vision finally cleared, he saw her lift her cup back up, her smile more radiant than he had ever seen it.

  “To us.”

  With that, she brought the cup to her lips, threw her head back, and downed every st drop of wine.

  Misbah blinked, then forced himself to mirror her smile. He lifted his own cup, drinking his wine in a hesitant gulp. It burned more than usual.

  When he set his cup back down slowly, he stared at the woman before him, and the tears he had been holding back finally spilled over, streaming silently down his face.

  And still, she was smiling at him.

  She stood and walked to him, looping her arms around him from the side, pulling him close. "Let me hold you more," she murmured against his hair. "I do not want this to end yet."

  He closed his eyes and let himself be held. He didn’t know how much time he had left. He didn’t know if the wine would work slowly or quickly. He wasn’t even sure if she could leave this pce safely.

  He just hoped she could forgive him for his selfishness.

  pangmida