Well, yaknow, ya think I’ld learn, wouldn’t ya? Hahahaha. Yeah but no. I let my mouth run away with my good sense again and here I was, facing off against four of the biggest bruisers I’ve ever seen in my life.

  Yeah, Kari. Don’t challenge just one of ‘em. Challenge all of ‘em at once! Ima dumbass.

  Sorry for the strong language but I’m a bit miffed at myself at the moment. Which moment, by the way features a guy with hands the size of shovels folding me up like a taco and trying to shove my own toes up my nose.

  I will never surrender!

  That’s what I’d like to say but I don’t think it matters, even if I do try to surrender. I really really really really pissed these guys off. I don’t even know who they are. Some folks visitin’ from somewhere. The land of no-sense-of-humor I’m guessing.

  Master is not any help at all. He laughed at me for a while but now I think he’s on a tea break.

  Why oh why oh why can I not learn to keep my mouth shut?!?

  Nix and I had been placing bets. I said there is no way that more than two toes could fit into one nostril. Nix bet on three. He won. Kari is currently in deep trouble.

  Oh, not the dying kind of trouble. More like the never gonna forget about this for the rest of your life because your friends will keep reminding you about it kind of trouble. She’s gonna have nightmares about toes in her nose for all of eternity.

  But I guess it’s time to put a stop to it. Nix wants to pull out some of his new paper snakes but I call honors.

  “Rrhem! Gentlemen and, er, lady, this has gone on long enough. I’m sure that the lovely Ms. Kari would be more than happy to apologize for her hasty words.”

  They ignore me. I didn’t really think that would work but I had to try. Time to get my hands dirty. Walking up to the beating-on-Kari pile, I stretch out my hands ominously and start an incantation. Within moments, I feel the power start to flow. Primal energy.

  With a gesture, I pick up the first guy and pull him out of the pile, then flatten him to the ground on his back. I repeat the process three more times. Kari starts to pull herself together and get up but I won’t allow it. With another gesture, I stick her to the ceiling looking down.

  “Okay,” I try again. “Are you all listening now? Good. Kari, I think you owe these guys an apology.”

  She remains silent. I let her have a moment before I drop her toward the ground, then slam her back onto the ceiling.

  “Okay! Okay! I would like to apologize for my previous unkind words to these four gentlemen.” I’m surprised. She almost sounds sincere. A nose full of toes must be pretty painful.

  “Gentlemen,” I call out. “Are you willing to accept this apology?”

  Surprisingly, I get four grumbles of assent right away.

  “All right then. I shan’t ask you to shake hands. Please avoid contact with each other for the rest of the day. Thank you for your time.”

  With a final gesture, I release them. As I turn away, I hear a short scream and a thump as Kari hits the ground. Short scream. Get it? ‘Cause Kari’s short?

  I pick a book off of my little cart and shelve it. Properly, of course, although my heart isn't in it today. I've been feeling restless lately, and particularly so today. I give a little sigh.

  My name is Penelope Cox-Warden. As the youngest daughter of Graf Warden, my title is Contessa, although I rarely use it. I’ve been working here at the Palace for the last two and a half years. Well, I say working, but they don't pay me. So what does that make it? An avocation?

  I love books and when I got shuffled off to this Palace as a lady-in-waiting I found the library and made it my home. No one seemed to mind. As the youngest of seven daughters (and six sons) and handicapped as well, I don't have a lot of value. Not even as a political marriage partner.

  I became the Palace Librarian, even though technically that position doesn’t exist. I wrote the job description myself and made it my own and therefore own it. These days, no one remembers that there isn't any such role. I fantasize about making up a base salary and then going into the palace personnel office to ask for a raise. I bet they'd give it to me.

  I sigh again. It took a lot of soul-searching, but I'm finally able to put a finger on what is making me restless. It's the Heroes. Or actually, the not-Heroes as they sometimes style themselves. Those five wonderful young people who have become my best patrons. Five people, each with an unbreakable Curse.

  Saki has become my dearest friend. She can't speak and I'm deaf so we had a natural affinity from the start. She taught me sign language and I'm positively reveling in my newfound ability to have conversations. And she's smart too. I'm teaching her so many things in return and she's so appreciative.

  Then there's Kari. Such a tiny person yet so incredibly strong. And nice, and boastful, and just plain over-the-top. Larger-than-life, as she would say. And a wicked sense of humor to go with her razor-sharp wit. Oh, and cute. She told me I have to include that whenever I describe her .

  Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

  Rio takes the most getting used to. Especially for a shy innocent maiden like me . He's a ladies' man through and through. Handsome and devilish. Unfailingly polite and gallant, even when he's in pain. Which he is, a lot, though he never talks about it. He has many girlfriends. Or closet friends as Kari says. He tried to make me one of them when he first met me, but I shut him down hard. I was worried that it was too hard at first, but he seemed to take it in stride. Don't let him know, but I like him. He's been a good friend to me, even though I keep him at a distance.

  I'm a little afraid of Addie. She's the leader of their group. They haven't told me, but it didn't take me long to figure out that she's a vampire. Not just as a meta-class but as a living breathing entity. Such a rare and interesting being. Even my vast library has little to say about them. From what I've read, she has the potential to become the most powerful of beings, with frightening abilities and unstoppable strength. I say I'm a little afraid of her, but I don't have a reason to be. She's the sweetest person I've ever met. Very diligent in her studies and deeply intelligent. As one would expect of a leader. Although I do catch her staring at my neck every now and then...

  Finally, there's the boy currently asleep in an armchair in a hidden alcove of my library. The blind boy, Nix. He is the sweetest, kindest person I've ever met. Since he's blind, I can't really communicate with him. Although he can write notes to me. He really seems to care for those around him. Even me. And that means a lot. I'm a beautiful woman. I know I shouldn't say this about myself, but it's true. Men fall all over themselves trying to get near me because of the way I look. That's part of the reason I hide in my library. But Nix can't see me. He only sees my Spirit. When he calls me beautiful, I know it's me he's seeing, not my outer shell. He tells me I smell nice. Like snow and magic. Addie says that means he has a crush on me. To be honest, I have a pretty big crush on him too. I’ve even been invading his dreams lately.

  And they're going to leave me. They haven't said, but I can feel it. Their position in the Palace is precarious and, sooner or later, they are going to leave in order to protect themselves.

  Leave me.

  Alone.

  Funny how I hadn't known that I was missing something, but now that I've found it I can't bear the thought of losing it.

  I pick up the paper flower that Nix folded for me. When it touches my skin, it comes to life, swelling with Spirit power to become a long-stemmed white rose. It even smells like a rose. I gaze at it for a long time but it has no answers for me.

  “Those are your orders lieutenant, and you will carry them out.”

  “But…”

  “There is no but. Are you unaware that this is a military organization? With a chain of command? Which has placed you under my orders? I have given you your orders. Carry them out!” I finish with a shout as I turn away.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I see Altan and Bethany looking at us from the edge of the training ground. No doubt they’re judging me.

  But what right do they have? I really don’t care what they think. They’re soft! Too soft. We’re going to war. Not today. Not tomorrow. But someday we will be on the battlefield. There is no room for a committee on the battlefield.

  There must be clear orders given through a clearly defined chain of command. Indecision and dissension will only get you killed. That’s what I believe.

  I know others disagree with my beliefs and methods. There’s nothing I can do about that and I won’t try to change their minds. I’m giving my absolute best. That’s what I owe my troops. What else would they have me do?

  Excerpt from Saki's journal

  Kari came to me just before lunch yesterday. She wanted to demonstrate her new toy. She has her own personal storage now. She's calling it her Inventory. I've never seen her so happy!

  I'm happy too. Although I don’t know why she keeps coming by to show it to me when I was there helping them create it.

  Kari, Nix and I worked together over several days to develop the enchantments. A lot of research into both Spirit and Primal magics, neither of which I can use, to get it right. Even then we weren't positively sure it would work properly.

  In fact, it works better than we had hoped. A slam dunk on our first try.

  It's hard not to brag, really.

  However, today I have to focus on my own projects. Balance has been hard to achieve. There are so many things I want to do. So many things I have to learn before I can do them.

  Balance. Focus on one thing at a time. Don’t get so caught up in one thing that I fall behind in other things. I wish I could live in the world of the Trials. I spent days and months there with each trial while no time passed in this world.

  I need more time. Or more patience. Or both.

  I’ve become restless. Physically restless, which is something I was never able to do before. So I walk the night. Sleep comes hard to me now unless I wear myself out.

  I’ve become a horse girl. I spend an hour or two in the stables every night. The horses seem to like me. Even though I drink their blood, they don’t seem to mind. I pay them back by brushing them down, combing their manes and tails and making sure they’re comfortable. I give them much more care and attention than they would otherwise receive. I’ve become quite the expert groom over the past couple of weeks.

  What do the Gods want? Azazel has blessed me. The God of Chaos has me under his thumb. But why?

  Am I meant to sow chaos? Add to it? Control it?

  I could be totally off base. Chaos’ General is now a Role in my Blessing. But a General’s role is to make order out of chaos. Or at least minimize the impact of chaos. So where do I fit in? I wish I knew.

  Do the Gods in this world take direct action? Or do they only act through their Blessings? Through their Heroes and Saints? Do the Gods work together? Or are they working against each other? Are our lives just part of a game that they play to relieve their boredom? Or are they invested in what happens here?

  I have no answers. Maybe it doesn’t matter. Will my understanding change the course that has been set for me? Do we have free will?

  Okay. Might as well stop there. I clearly need sleep if I’m getting metaphysical.

  I step through the shadows, taking care not to be seen. I’m not the only one who walks the night. Sometimes we even interact.

  I admit that I feel bad about what I did to Tia the other day. Nix gave me a big piece of his mind about it. Pretty sure he’s got a crush on her. I’ll apologize to her when I get a chance.

  I don’t feel bad about what I did to Ettiene at all.