The bell over our shop door jingled like it was afraid of something.

  That was my first clue.

  My second clue was the woman who stumbled inside, clutching a folded pizza box to her chest like it was a life raft. She was twenty-something, and she was pale, sweating, and wearing a uniform shirt with a tomato mascot giving a thumbs-up. She looked like she’d sprinted here from another county.

  “Um—hi,” she gasped. “I—I need help.”

  Elly glanced up from the reception desk (technically a repurposed sink counter for the moment), where she was programming our appointment app to send clients random riddles instead of confirmation codes. “Hi! Welcome to Error Solutions, where the problems are strange and the people are stranger. How may we traumatize you today?”

  The woman blinked, shook her head at Elly, then focused on me like she’d decided I was the most normal person in the room.

  This was both flattering and deeply misleading.

  “You’re Daniel Mercer, right?” she said. “Someone told me you—you help people with… with problems that aren’t… normal.”

  “That’s one way to put it.” I stepped forward. “What’s wrong? And does it involve giant spiders, stolen organs, or spontaneous song-and-dance enchantments? Because those are the big three this month.”

  She stared at me like I’d confirmed her worst fears. Darn my glib tongue… “No. I mean—none of that. My boyfriend. He—he works deliveries for Papa Panini’s.”

  “Love their deep dish! They’re on my speed dial.” I smiled.

  She nodded like that was inconsequential, although my credit card bill would disagree. “And yesterday he dropped off a pizza at this fancy house outside town and… he didn’t come back.”

  “Kidnapped?” Lily asked, sliding off the armrest of the couch with a worrying amount of predatory interest. “Held hostage? Or… eaten?”

  The girl made a tiny squeaking noise. “No! Not—not eaten! I—I followed his GPS and found him on the front porch. He was… he’s… um…”

  “Yes?” Lily prompted gently.

  She swallowed hard. “He’s a statue now.”

  We all stopped.

  Even Elly stopped typing.

  “A statue?” Eury said, stepping closer, her hair lifting slightly in alarm. “Describe it.”

  “He’s—he’s made of stone. Solid. Like some kind of garden sculpture. And he—he still had the pizza bag over his shoulder, and his face was all—” She made a frozen, terrified grimace. “Like that.”

  I exhaled slowly. “So, you’re telling me your boyfriend delivered a pizza… to a house… that turned him into a lawn ornament.”

  “Yes!”

  “And you brought his last delivery box with you?”

  She held it up with trembling hands. “I—I didn’t know what else to do. Please. I heard you helped with supernatural stuff and—he’s a good guy, okay? He doesn’t deserve to spend the rest of his life as… yard decor!” Her voice cracked on the last word.

  Lily stepped beside her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “We’ll look into it. We can help you.”

  “How do you know?” the girl whispered.

  Lily smiled with warm certainty. “Because you came to the right place, sweetheart. And we don’t leave people behind.”

  The girl burst into tears of relief.

  Elly shoved a tissue box between them. “Okay, emotions later, paperwork now. Name?”

  “Hailey Franklin.”

  “Boyfriend’s name?”

  “Carlos Perez.”

  “Favorite pizza toppings?” Elly asked.

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  “…pepperoni with pineapple.”

  Elly nodded like that was crucial intelligence.

  Then Eury said quietly, “The address?”

  Hailey fished a crumpled receipt from the pizza box. “Here.”

  I looked at it. And felt my stomach drop. It was Theona’s address.

  Oh. Oh, no.

  “Oh,” Lily said, reading over my shoulder. “We’re going to have to visit your aunt.”

  “She’s not my aunt,” I said automatically.

  “She’s mine,” Eury snapped.

  Hailey looked like she might bolt out the door, but Lily put a comforting hand on her forearm and exuded some subtle pheromonal pressure.

  “Family is weird,” Elly said. “Fae courts used to do this all the time. My great-uncle was technically my own godson, so—”

  “Okay,” I cut in. “The point is: we know her. And she’s… complicated.”

  Hailey whimpered.

  “Don’t worry,” I said, giving her what I hoped was a reassuring smile and not the smile of a man terrified of meeting his girlfriend’s terrifying supernatural aunt-in-law. “We’ll fix this.”

  Even if it killed me.

  Which was honestly highly likely.

  Theona’s townhouse wasn’t a house so much as a statement.

  Low stone walls framed a courtyard full of carefully arranged succulents and oddly shaped topiary—mostly half-clad women in dramatic poses, a few serpents, and one lion that absolutely used to be a person. The air smelled like lavender, desert heat, and danger.

  “Wow,” Lily said, stepping onto the walkway. “Every time we visit, she upgrades the landscaping.”

  Eury muttered, “Some of these weren’t here last month when I visited.”

  “Not ominous at all,” I whispered, looking around. “Holy shit, is that Mr. Tumnus?” I pointed at one statue.

  Eury smacked me on the arm, hard. I tried not to wince too obviously, but she saw through my bravado.

  We approached the front door—huge, carved, and glamoured to look like polished mahogany instead of the shimmering bone-white stone underneath. I knocked.

  The glamours in the courtyard flickered. The door opened. And there she was: Theona Vale.

  Tall. Elegant. Dressed in a silk gown like she was a Greek Goddess of old (and maybe she actually was?). Her hair was pulled back in an intricate braided crown—only if you knew what to look for could you see the faint shimmer of the glamoured serpents hiding among the coils. Her eyes were coppery gold, slit-pupiled, and warm in the way a basking lizard is warm—calm, neutral, assessing whether you are a threat or just a snack.

  “Daniel Mercer” she said, voice velvet and venom. “And my beloved, troublemaker niece.” She held out an arm expectantly.

  Eury grimaced but stepped into it, receiving one of Theona’s signature rib-bruising half-hugs.

  Then Theona’s attention fell on Lily.

  Lily’s pheromones flared instinctively—just a gentle charm haze, barely perceptible to humans.

  To Theona? Nothing.

  Theona sniffed. “You smell like a candle shop exploded.”

  Lily sputtered. “I—excuse—you—okay, yeah, fair.”

  Elly stepped up, beaming. “Hi, Auntie Thee!”

  “I am not your aunt.”

  “You’re everyone’s aunt,” Elly declared, getting in on the hugs. Clearly, she thought disarming cheer was the way to approach the Gorgon.

  Theona sighed but didn’t dispute it, accepting the embrace. Finally, her gaze slid to Hailey, who squeaked in terror and dropped the pizza box.

  Theona arched a brow. “You brought a mortal.”

  “She knows something about all of this business. She brought herself,” I said. “Her boyfriend’s in your possession.”

  Theona blinked once. Twice. Then sighed dramatically. “Ah. Yes. The pizza boy.”

  “Can we talk about why he’s currently solid granite?” I asked.

  “He was past the 30-minute delivery guarantee,” she said simply, as if that explained everything. “And he accidentally startled me.”

  Hailey squeaked again.

  Eury pinched the bridge of her nose. “Auntie—”

  “He came around the corner too quickly,” Theona said, shrugging elegantly. “I reacted. A reflex. Honestly, they should teach delivery men to approach quietly. This one was terribly loud.”

  “He probably said, ‘Hey Papa Panini’s,’” Hailey whispered to me.

  Theona squinted like this was offensive. “Yes. That. Noise.”

  “Can you fix him?” I asked.

  “Of course I can.” Theona waved a hand with regal dismissiveness. “Eventually.”

  “Now,” Eury corrected.

  Theona pursed her lips. Then turned and motioned us inside. “All in good time.”

  Her home was beautiful—cool stone floors, soft lamps, open windows with gauzy curtains that swayed like slow-moving waves. Shelves of artifacts lined the walls—ancient vases, carved stones, weapons older than most countries. Glamours shimmered faintly over everything, softening the monstrous edges of statues and hiding the occasional serpentine mural.

  Hailey clung to Lily for dear life. Lily patted her back like a distressed kitten.

  We entered the central lounge—a sunken room with a circular couch and a giant TV mounted above a stone hearth.

  And, of course, right in the middle of the room, was Carlos. Stone Carlos. Holding a pizza bag. Face frozen in the worst “please tip me” smile imaginable.

  Hailey burst into tears again.

  Theona looked mildly apologetic, which for her was basically sobbing. “He startled me,” she repeated.

  “We got that,” I said gently.

  Elly walked around him, tapping lightly on the statue. “Solid craftsmanship.”

  “Not helping,” Lily muttered.

  Hailey sniffled. “Can he—can he hear us? Is he… alive?”

  “Yes,” Theona said. “His soul is intact. He’s simply paused.”

  “Paused,” I echoed. “Like a streaming show when I’m on potty break?”

  “Exactly.”

  “Then unpause him,” I suggested. You don’t demand things of a long-lived Gorgon. “Please?”

  Theona hesitated.

  Eury narrowed her eyes. “Auntie.”

  “…I will,” Theona said. “But it requires a ritual. And I am… emotionally compromised.”

  “About what?” I asked.

  All three girls gave me the same look simultaneously. The one that said: Daniel, sweetie, you absolute idiot.

  Oh. Right.

  Theona was lonely. Dangerously lonely. And Gorgons… handled loneliness differently.

  “I need a moment,” she said, voice brittle.

  And before anyone could speak, she swept a hand toward the hallway. “Daniel may stay.”

  Eury hissed. “What?”

  Lily laughed out loud. “Oh, this is going to be good. I mean, I’m the jealous type, but this is funny as hell.”

  “Elly,” I begged.

  Elly grinned. “Good luck, Danny. We’ll go get coffee or something and come back for you.”

  Traitors. All of them.