Chapter 9: Garden Hoses and Bullet TrainsSkrrr. Skkkkkkkr. Skrr—Xu’s eyes slid open. His desk slowly swam into focus.

  What is that sound?

  Skrr.Xu sat up slowly. The sound continued.

  He looked down.

  The Foundation Settling Pill was three feet away from where he’d left it, nudging itself across the warped floorboards toward the thin bck seam of the closet door. Its glow pulsed faintly with each tiny sound. His stomach dropped so fast it felt like he’d missed a step on stairs.

  NO, NOT AGAIN.He lunged out of bed, palms spping the cold wood, and scrabbled his hands over the floor, barely catching it before it slipped into the darkness.

  NO.YOU.DON’T.He sat up, clutching the warm sphere in his fist.

  He stared at it.

  Great. Fantastic. Now I need a pce to store a priceless pill that apparently has a brother.He stared at his closed hand.

  …

  What if I just… Let it go?The thought had arrived uninvited. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to push it away. He let it sit there, because part of him already knew why it had shown up.

  He moved to the edge of his bed. The mattress sighed under his weight. Weak morning light filtered through the grime on his window, turning the room a dim, washed-out gray.

  If I eat this, it’s over.He stared at the peeling wallpaper.

  His eyes flicked to the dark crack of his small bathroom door. The alternative crept over him like a wet bnket.If I don’t…The sentence didn’t finish. A future… My future… The kind where every day is just a wait for something worse to happen.

  I keep breathing. I just don’t keep… anything else.And they’d come with me. That was the part that made him feel like he was suffocating.Memories vividly fshed through his mind.

  The taste of his own blood in a CyberSEC alley. A scavenger had pinned him by the throat over a spool of stripped copper wire he found. His vision tunneled. Then, the sickening crunch of a brick shattering against the scavenger's helmet.

  Taylor… She was only nine years old.

  She was shaking and crying, but she grabbed Xu by his colr and dragged him to his feet anyway. Their sprint through the rain, the way his lungs had burned, how their feet shattered neon puddles. She didn’t even let go of his hand until they were a full three blocks away, until her shaking slowed enough to remember she even could.

  He smiled ruefully.

  The smell of burning grease. Taylor had hidden behind a dumpster with him, clutching a stolen, severed, hydraulic Spec arm to her chest. They thought they were going to die. But when the gang actually accepted it as payment for the kid they had chained up in the back… He remembered the way that strange kid had thrown his arms around him and buried his face into his shoulder, covered in tears as he thanked them for saving him.

  Lee… If only they could have seen who you would become.The biting cold. A winter so bitter his bones practically still ached. The three of them had huddled together under their single stolen tarp on a concrete roof as he had carefully broken rock-hard bread crust into three perfectly equal pieces. It hadn’t been enough, but watching Taylor and Lee eat theirs had made his hunger feel quieter. The delirious, exhausted ughter that filled their tarp when Lee, still freezing and starving, just couldn’t help but critique the baking technique of gutter-bread.

  Those were the worst days of my life… But… they’re also the only reason I’m still here.I’m never going back—and neither are they.He threw the pill into his mouth.

  It had already been 15 minutes.

  Nothing happened.

  Xu opened his eyes. He patted his chest.

  Huh. That was more stressful than dangerous.

  He stood up and began to tidy up his apartment after the chaos of the night before.

  Wait. There are more stowaways here. Figures. The pit hasn’t had a good meal of newcomers for too long.He dropped to his knees, peering under his bed.“Here… uh…. Cappy cappy.”It started subtly. A strange, tight heat waved through his stomach.

  Xu froze.

  Then, the warmth turned into a cramp. Then, the cramp turned into the distinct sensation that someone had started a flesh fire inside of him.

  Xu fell off the bed, clutching his stomach, his breath hitching. He dragged himself to his discarded pants, pulled out his phone with shaking fingers, and frantically typed into the search bar: “Ate foundaton pill at fourth stge wat happn?”

  The screen loaded.

  Did you mean: Funeral arrangements near me?

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  [colpse]

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  Yeet-It — My Cousin Ate A High-tier Pill And… y/EpicAscensionFailsWithin five minutes, his pores started leaking a smell like burnt rubber and expired ham. Tenminutes in, he started screaming that he could “hear the color purple.” Spoil more

  SpoilerURGENT: COUSIN ATE ACCUMULATION-TIER PILL BY ACCIDENTSectTrash99Guys, my cousin just found a pale gold pill in my uncle’s desk. He’s a Stage 3 Zero. He ate it thinking it was a lemon drop. Within five minutes his pores started leaking a smell like burnt rubber and expired ham. Ten minutes in, he started screaming that he could “hear the color purple.” Now he’s just... melted into the carpet? Does anyone know if this is reversible? Help would seriously be appreciated!”[Comments]PathologyPete [Verified Medic-Disciple]Is it reversible? Technically, yes, if you have a Grade-A vacuum and a high-fidelity centrifuge. Practically? No. At Stage 3, his body didn't just overflow, it likely shattered on an atomic level. The “color purple” he was hearing was likely his own neurons firing at 400% capacity before they liquified.

  My advice: scrap the carpet. The smell of expired ham never really leaves the subflooring. (Personal Experience.)

  BdeGrip88Lmao another one. Why do people keep their high-tier pills next to the candy? This is like the fourth “lemon drop” incident this month. OP, if he’s still bubbling, try to scoop him into a jar. Sometimes the leftover sludge has enough residual Qi to sell to a local Fertilizer-Sect for a few credits. Might as well make the funeral costs back.

  GutterSage_XWait, if he’s already melted, is his uncle’s desk for sale? (I mean if y'all need funeral money.) Asking for a friend who needs a new setup. Also, tell your cousin that “hearing the color purple” can actually be a Live Resonance breakthrough phenomenon—so, hey, tell him congrats on his success! Or, well, at least tell the carpet. Rip to OP family tree.

  Posted in y/EpicAscensionFails (6 years ago) | User: SectTrash99[colpse]?

  Qi Overdose: Signs, Symptoms, and Pathological Progression — Cult-Med WebSpontaneous Combustion (Flesh-Fire). Rapid oxidation of intestinal linings as the Essence rejects the host's low-density qi storage biology. 10–15 mins: Hyper-Viscous Impurity Discharge. Commonly referred to as 'The Ooze' ... Spoil more

  SpoilerMedical Fact-Checked by: Mortician-Disciple Vane, MD (Martial Death)Peer Reviewed by: AIO - Inquisitor Sasha & Post-Mortem Ascension Group

  Clinical Overview: The subject has induced a catastrophic Systemic Meridian-Vessel Overpressure Event.

  Pathological Progression:

  0–5 mins: Acute Psychological Denial. Stage 1 Trauma Response; often characterized by a sudden urge to "clean the apartment."5–10 mins: Internal Spontaneous Combustion (Flesh-Fire). Rapid oxidation of intestinal linings as the Foundation Essence rejects the host's low-density qi storage biology.10–15 mins: Hyper-Viscous Impurity Discharge. Commonly referred to as "The Ooze." (See: Catastrophic Impurity Explosions; Volume III).20 mins+: Total Systemic Meridian Colpse (ACD). Reality takes hold. Host typically transitions from "Cultivator" to "Sludge."Standard Protocol / Recommendations: Avoid contact with professional Healers. Current travel surcharges and "Hopeless Case" fees typically result in the total bankruptcy of surviving kin.

  Palliative Care: It is advised to relocate patient to a waterproof, non-absorbent tarp. This facilitates a more efficient disposal process and reduces the hourly bor rate for local Janitorial company cleanup crews.

  [colpse]…

  He clicked on his messages, then Lee.

  ????: ??????

  ?? ?????? ??????. ?????? ????. ???? ????????

  Then came the ooze.

  The first sign was like fire. Thick, viscous bck sludge began to pour out of his pores. He knew that expelling impurities was normal for a stage advancement, but this wasn't a comedic little puddle. This was an extreme, horrifying volume of mass. It looked like an oil rig had catastrophically failed inside his veins. The bck ooze saturated his clothes and rapidly began staining his new sheets, pooling into the floorboards.

  Xu coughed aggressively, sputtering bck liquid from his lungs.

  He clutched his throat.

  He was drowning from the inside out.

  Through the blinding haze of pain, a memory sparked.

  My rib.Crystal.Where.WHERE.

  Xu dragged his heavy, sludge-covered mass across the floorboards, leaving a thick bck snail-trail behind him. He reached the underside of the desk.

  Box.A hand went up and over the desk, feeling around.

  COUGH!

  More sludge, thicker this time.

  Xu kicked the bottom of his desk, sending it across the room and through his window.

  The bck box had flown across the room and nded next to the closet.

  Click.

  The closet door slightly swung open. The spear came out, beginning to wrap around the crystal like a hook, but then its tip pointed at Xu.

  It “looked” at Xu.

  Xu looked at it.

  Click.

  It left the crystal.

  His vision had already vignetted much too far. He could barely make out its glow.

  He threw his arm forward as a desperate st attempt, blood bursting out of his popping veins.

  The moment his fingers closed around it, the white-hot pain was violently overwritten by something worse.

  An itch.

  It was completely overwhelming. Every single micrometer of his skin, every muscle fiber, every cell of bone marrow felt like it was being aggressively scrubbed by steel wool. Xu thrashed on the floor, biting his own arm to keep from screaming, scratching wildly at his chest, his arms, his legs. It was maddening, all-consuming agony.

  And then, slowly, it began to subside.

  Xu y panting through his nose, entirely coated in globs of bck grime, clutching the purple crystal to his chest. His arm had healed into his teeth.

  He waited.

  He didn't explode.

  “HOLY SHIT,” Lee had entered through where his desk had left.

  Twenty minutes and a very aggressive shower ter, Xu sat on his knees in front of Lee.

  “What the fuck, Xu?”

  Lee held the bridge of his nose as he exhaled slowly.

  “I don’t know whether to be angry that you were incredibly stupid and lived, or angry that you made me come into your room again. I JUST promised myself I wouldn’t.”

  Xu’s eyes fell to the back heels of Lee’s shoes.

  Bck sludge had stained them.

  He does not need that information right now.Lee gnced towards the bathroom.

  “It clogged the bathtub? Yeahno, we’re leaving.”

  Lee led Xu across the housing sector to Taylor’s door after stopping for coffee.

  Lee rapped on the door seven times at varying intervals.

  “Come in!” Taylor yelled from inside.

  Lee walked in and then gestured with one arm for Xu to do the same.

  Xu did not walk. He strutted.

  “Behold,” Xu announced, stopping in front of Taylor with his hands on his hips. He raised his arms and flexed, intentionally showcasing his new, slightly rger muscles. He was not subtle about it.

  “The teacup has become a bucket.”

  Lee choked on his coffee. He stared at Xu, his face cycling rapidly through genuine surprise, profound confusion, and anger.

  “Did you work out or something? I don’t get it.”

  “I might not have, but breakfast did.” Xu bragged, wriggling his eyebrows with a massive grin.

  Taylor raised an eyebrow. She looked at him for a moment.

  “What are you—”

  “HE ATE THE FUCKING PILL.” Lee rudely interjected>

  “HE WHAT!?” Taylor dropped her noodles.

  Taylor and Lee locked eyes.

  PING!

  Noodles painted the floor.

  …

  Without a word, she reached into her jacket, pulled out her phone, and made a call. She didn't expin who she was calling. She just gave a room number and hung up.

  “Who was that?” Xu asked, his grin faltering.

  Taylor didn't answer.

  “Lee, what's happening?” Xu asked.

  Lee sipped his coffee, but didn’t break eye contact.

  Xu turned to leave. “You know what, I’m just gonna go get breakfast—”

  Taylor’s hand shot out, grabbing his shoulder. The grip was like an industrial vise grip. She forced him down onto a nearby stone bench.

  “Sit, you’ve already had breakfast, silly,” Taylor commanded. She fshed him a smile.

  “You're kinda being a party pooper…” Xu muttered.

  Taylor stared at him.

  Ten minutes ter, a Spec arrived.

  Knock. Knock.

  He wore a crisp, utilitarian uniform and carried a heavy, reinforced medical case. He was entirely professional. He had the distinct vibe of an overly thorough man, specifically to extort the concept of an hourly rate.

  He didn't introduce himself. He just walked in, set his case on the table, pulled out a handheld scanning device, and pointed it at Xu.

  “What uh… whatcha got there?” Xu questioned.

  A hum filled the air. The Spec looked at the readings on his screen.

  He frowned.

  He reset the device and scanned Xu again.

  “Well,” the Spec said, his voice a dry monotone. “Stage reads as Ninth.”

  Xu looked at Taylor and wriggled his eyebrows once more.

  “However, body development is far past what would be typical at the peak of any of the Zero stages. Your physical constitution is roughly equal to that of an Extreme Stage Resonance cultivator. You are, medically speaking, an abnormally exceptional super freak. Unfortunately, physical strength doesn't count for much at higher realms.”

  Smugness had practically embossed itself into Xu’s face. His eyebrows began to somehow wriggle even harder.

  Xu grinned at Lee. “Hear that? Super exceptional.”

  “He also said freak.” Lee countered.

  Taylor seemed unamused.

  “I’m not finished,” the Spec said. He tapped his screen. “When something is this weird. It’s rarely only a single thing.”

  The device hummed at a different pitch. The Spec looked at the results for a long, quiet moment. He adjusted his gsses. He looked at Xu, then back at the screen.

  “Yep, your—”

  “Even more exceptional than you thought?” Xu couldn’t help himself.

  “Not exactly. Your meridians are shredded,” the Spec said ftly.

  The silence in the room was absolute.

  “Strained?” Lee asked quietly.

  “No, no, Lee. Sprained.” Xu corrected.

  “Shredded,” the Spec re-corrected.

  “Not strained. Not sprained. Not underdeveloped. Shredded. To use a metaphor you might understand: it looks like someone tried to force a bullet train through a garden hose.”

  Xu’s eyebrows let out their final, sad movements.

  Taylor crossed her arms. Her knuckles were white. “When?”

  “Recently,” the Spec replied, packing up his scanner. “The tissue damage is incredibly fresh. Sometime in the st twelve hours.”

  “What does shredded meridians mean, like practically?” Lee asked carefully.

  The Spec sighed, shifting into his rehearsed lecture voice. “Zero stage cultivation is purely physical development. It is the process of building the body and the meridian network to the point where external Qi can safely exist inside it. The meridians are the infrastructure Qi flows through once the Priming is crossed and you reach the Resonance Realm.”

  He looked at Xu, his eyes devoid of pity.

  “Without functional meridians, the Resonance Realm is impossible. Your body can develop to the edge of the threshold indefinitely. But it will never cross it. Not until the meridians heal.”

  The Spec looked back at his tablet. “This is highly inconsistent. Normal cultivation methods that produce this level of physical development at your age… actually, those don’t exist to my knowledge, but the closest among them do not produce this kind of catastrophic meridian damage. This pattern doesn't match any known cultivation deviation or overdraft condition I’ve ever seen. Even in the most extreme cases.”

  Xu felt the cold dread pooling in his stomach. “So I’m stuck?”

  “Thankfully, no,” the Spec said dryly. “If this were 10 years ago, then yes, unquestionably. Luckily, you just have to take medicine for a little while. It’s a highly reguted Spec-grade medical serum. You just need to apply online and show up for an in-person, and I'm sure they'll approve it given your condition. Your meridians will eventually knit themselves back together, you’ll be as good as new.”

  “How long?” Taylor asked.

  “Only two years,” the Spec said.

  The Spec packed the rest of his equipment into his case. He told Taylor he would send the full invoice and report to her secure channel.

  He turned, walked away, and took the noise with him.

  Even Xu’s mind was silent.

  “Okay,” Lee said casually, breaking the silence. “Could be worse. Let’s see the damage.” Clicking sounds rang out from Lee’s phone.

  His eyes shot up.

  “How much?” Taylor said instantly.

  “Too much,” Lee replied.

  “Nothing is too much if it’s for—”

  “Taylor. It’s too much.”

  Silence swallowed the room.

  …

  “But… my trust fund unlocks in six months,” Lee mused, rubbing his chin. “I… could leverage it early through a shadow broker. The interest rates are predatory, and my father would likely have me assassinated from the great beyond, but could cover it. Well… half of it.”

  Xu’s stomach wrapped around his heart.

  No. This is the whole reason I…He was drowning in guilt. They would ruin themselves for him, and they wouldn't even hesitate.

  He never even got to spend a dolr… before he would waste it on me.“Did you know?” Xu asked, his voice sounding hollow to his own ears.

  Taylor stopped talking to Lee. She looked at him. “I suspected something was wrong. I didn't know for sure.”

  Xu looked at Lee. “What does this mean for the Inner Sect?”

  He hesitated. “The entry requirement for the Inner Sect is ninth-stage body development.”

  Lee slightly shrugged. “You do have ninth-stage body development, so.... The initial filter doesn't scan meridians...”

  “That gets him through the door, yes,” Taylor said, her voice hard. “It doesn't solve the problem on the other side of it. Inner Sect training is Resonance Realm training. Xu has no path to Resonance. They will find out immediately. And by the time he heals… Ninth Stage Zero at age 17. Not too special?”

  Xu asked the only question left. “So then what do I do?”

  Nobody answered immediately.

  Xu looked down at his hands. He thought about the fight with Cai. The way his body had known exactly where to be before his mind had finished deciding to move it.

  He thought about the eye embedded in his leg. When he had showered to wash the ooze off, he had noticed it had grown eyeshes.

  He thought about the Spear in his closet. The Pit in the corner. The purple crystal in the box. His mutation that had been accelerating, quietly and violently, underneath everything since long before he understood what it was.

  …

  “There has to be a way,” Xu said softly.

  Neither Taylor nor Lee argued with him.

  “We’ll figure it out,” Taylor said.

  She didn't even look like she believed herself.

  “I’ll ask around,” Lee added, adjusting his colr.

  “I’ll even search deeper web archives.”

  Nobody asked what the actual pn was. They all knew the truth.

  The pn was that there was no pn.

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