The band played smoky half-time ballads. The fire grew quiet as it crumbled to coals and the bartender extinguished the lamps one by one. Outside, the rain grew stronger as the night deepened. Wind rattled the shutters. Erio started to rush his flagon. Lao looked up from her maps to glare at him suspiciously. He rolled his eyes, as if to say, "I know. This one is my last. I'm going to bed." She tossed her head and started staring at the other patrons instead. There weren't many of them.

  One guy, a handsome bard in a red coat, took this as a provocation. He slapped his table and left his friends, a team of six, crossing the room and loom over Lao, gradually squatting onto her bench with a wicked grin, saying, "How you two doing? How about you let me recruit you for a quick job tomorrow? If you're not going to be too hungover, that is."

  Erio grumbled, "I fucking hate bards," but the bard politely ignored this. He didn't even seem annoyed. Just let the comment slip through his mind without catching on anything, the skilled tactic of an accomplished diplomat.

  Lao carefully concealed her intentions. She said, "We're not looking for any jobs."

  The bard tried to glance over at her book of maps, which she quickly closed. He said, "This one's different. A lot of money."

  Lao: "Let me guess. Breaking crystals out of rockbeasts?"

  Bard: "Better than that. But it is out near the Cleft... so we might get some crystals..."

  Erio shoved aside his flagon so he could lean forward over the table and fix the bard with a piercing glare. He said, "Tell me about your job. I'm interested."

  This bard, without missing a beat, returned the glare with a playful glance. Just the right amount of eye contact, and a charming smile. He said, "You see, there's this temple..."

  Lao interrupted him: "You didn't introduce yourself." The band started playing an upbeat song, as if hoping to coax their dozen dozing listeners into a drunken dance. Maybe it was time to wrap up, and they wanted to earn a few tips.

  The bard grinned rakishly. Show rudeness to hide your politeness. Show politeness to hide your greed. He replied, "I am Adilior, Errant of Carthos. A C-rank Bard, at your service."

  Erio: "And a lute-player, from the looks of it. Carthos? I'm from Lane Valley."

  Adilior: "Lane Valley... I spent many a day in Clear Rock..."

  Erio: "Of course. It's a fine town. Lots of work for Bards out there."

  Adilior: "But I assume you're from up in the valley?"

  Erio: "An elder once said... 'Never tell anyone your home town, unless you want them to visit your family.'"

  Adilior: "Wise advice, for the paranoid. But we're all friends here."

  Erio: "I don't know you."

  Adilior: "But wouldn't you like to?"

  Erio: "Nah. I'd like to go to bed."

  Adilior: "Then let's finish our business quickly."

  Erio: "Yes, let's."

  Adilior: "This temple's ancient, like many of them. And it's fallen to ruin, like many of them. Filled with monsters, of course."

  Lao: "It's the Canyon Temple, isn't it?"

  Adilior: "Yes, that's the one!"

  Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

  Lao: "You'd need an army."

  Adilior: "Well, we're not going to clear it out ourselves. Our job is just to catalogue the monsters within."

  Erio: "Trigger the boss fight and run away, right?"

  Adilior: "Something like that. Maybe grab some treasure..."

  Erio: "You loot temples?"

  Adilior: "Well, if we recover any holy relics, the church will reward us lavishly. Although possibly not with money. But as for the rest... You see, many adventurers often perish in these ruins, and they leave behind useful gear..."

  Erio: "Aye, and we might easily be among the dead."

  Lao: "I suppose it's okay to loot temples if you're doing it for the Church."

  Adilior: "Well, isn't it?"

  Lao: "Those artifacts don't belong to the Church. They belong to the Ancients, whoever they were..."

  Adilior: "An atheist, are you? Or a heretic? Don't worry, I won't tell..."

  Erio: "We're not heretics."

  Adilior: "Don't be so defensive! We've all questioned Church doctrine here and there. But you can't question Church Titles. And the Bracelets of Protection are... quite useful, regardless of your beliefs."

  Erio: "So your plan is to find an ancient Keystone or something and trade it for a few bracelets?"

  Adilior: "I doubt the Canyon Temple contains a Keystone..."

  Erio: "It's a figure of speech."

  Lao: "Erio..."

  Erio: "I know."

  Adilior: "What was that?"

  Erio: "I think she was trying to subtly tell me, 'This guy's too stupid. He's going to get us killed.'"

  Lao: "I was not!"

  Erio: "Apologies. I misunderstood. Are we done here?"

  Adilior: "If you're refusing..."

  Lao: "We accept."

  Erio: "Excuse me?"

  Adilior: "Lovely!"

  Erio: "I don't understand."

  Lao: "It's an easy quest, and we can pull out if it looks dangerous. The Cleft has good herbs. I'm low on yarrow."

  Adilior: "You're an Herbalist?"

  Lao: "I'm a Healer. Herbalism is a hobby."

  Adilior: "Healing upon healing, eh?"

  Lao: "I don't like to waste magic when medicine will suffice."

  Adilior: "We could use you. I mean, we already have a Healer, but... more is always better."

  Erio: "Fine."

  Adilior: "Oh, but you haven't introduced yourselves."

  Lao: "I'm Laotlhelh of Clear Rock. An F-rank Healer."

  Adilior: "F? It's no trouble. This is a C-rank Quest, but... we should be able to handle it ourselves. And healing is always welcome. As long as you stay out of danger."

  Erio: "And I'm Eriothet. A D-rank Fighter."

  Adilior: "Well, you can protect the lady. If the inner chambers of the temple are too dangerous, perhaps you can guard the base-camp..."

  Erio: "No objections. Sounds easy."

  Adilior: "I assure you, we won't be taking any risks. Now, do you mind if I cast Analyze upon you?"

  Lao sighed and began to stand, grumbling, "As you wish." Erio stood also.

  Adilior pressed his hands together and bowed his head, then opened the window between his fingers with a bright star of blue-cyan, eyes flashing with light. He read their stats for a second and exclaimed, "By God, you're both pathetic!" Eriothet, who had been waiting for this opportunity, lunged across the table, throwing his ale ahead of him, and punched Adilior in the jaw, knocking him straight to the ground.

  The band froze and the room fell silent, except for the sounds of Adilior's party standing, pushing their benches away from the table, setting their drinks and utensils down. Then the band started playing again, a quaint and relaxing tune, the song of a peaceful shepherd. Certainly, the terms of their contract forbade the incitement of violence. Lao and Erio stood over Adilior, who glared up at them. With a sigh, Lao reached out her hand and extended to him a golden gem of healing, at least enough to assuage the pain in his jaw. Erio offered him a hand. Adilior helped himself halfway to his feet then took the hand as he rose, a conciliatory gesture without any admission of weakness.

  Adilior: "No wonder you two are alone."

  Lao: "He can be a little too protective."

  Adilior: "A quality which will serve you well. If you still mean to accompany us."

  Erio: "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

  Adilior: "You have an aura about you, you know."

  Erio: "A lot of people say that."

  Adilior: "So, are you one of those reincarnated heroes?"

  Erio: "It's possible. I was born without memories."

  Adilior: "Don't fuck with me."

  Erio: "I'd never fuck with you. It's true."

  Adilior: "You're joking."

  Erio: "Of course I'm joking."

  Adilior: "I can't tell... you're so dry."

  Erio: "I'm tired. I should sleep."

  Adilior: "One more thing. If you fuck up my job, I can fuck up your reputation in this town."

  Erio: "No you can't."

  Adilior: "What does that mean?"

  Lao: "It means we're already fucked up. We've got nothing to lose. You still want our help?"

  Adilior: "My instincts say no... but my sense of whimsy... Ah, I can't refuse. Not after you punched me... and healed me... so charmingly."

  Erio: "Then I'll see you in the morning."

  Erio stomped off upstairs. Adilior, with a conspiratorial smirk, leaned toward Lao and said, "My lady, would you join us for a drink?"

  Lao collected her book of maps and said, "Absolutely not. I'd rather drink with the pigs in the stable." Then she went for a walk in the rain.

  Adilior just raised his eyebrows and sighed, returning to his friends. The band started to put away their instruments, and the bartender began cleaning the tables.