[CHAPTER 1] — NO ONE WAS THERE

  Ash

  October 17th, 2025

  “Again!” I shouted, just before Hayden’s fists hit my focus mitts. I shot the right mitt at his face, then followed with my left from the side. He slipped his head past the first punch, bobbed under the hook, and then punched the mitts again as I brought them back up beside my face.

  “Double leg!”

  The thirteen-year-old kid dove forward, slamming his shoulder into my hip. I let him take me down to the abusively cold mats without much struggle, and he climbed on top of me, taking mount. My arms extended to push him off, but he grabbed my right elbow, wrapping himself around the arm as he threw himself back, securing the armbar.

  “Good!” I said, tapping out.

  He smiled at me as we sat up on the mat. My right mitt extended out for him to punch for a high five. Glancing over at Hayden's father, Dorian, who was sitting on the bench at the base of the boxing ring, I caught an approving nod.

  Hayden and I walked over, and Dorian reached out to shake my hand.

  “Ash, thanks again, man. I really appreciate this.”

  I shook my head. “Look, I’m glad you called in and asked for me yesterday so I could set this up. Helping the kids here is never something I’m gonna say no to.”

  Hayden has been a student of mine for almost two years now. He was always respectful and extremely outgoing with the other kids in class, but over the summer, his family moved, and he had to start his freshman year of high school in a new district. As the semester wore on, Hayden became more and more withdrawn. Turns out a senior at that school has been bullying Hayden nearly every day. While it had been just verbal for a while, the older kid was starting to get physical.

  It's always tough for me when my students are stuck in situations like this. I couldn't intervene directly, but there were still things that I could do to help. So, I told Dorian to let him stay home from school and bring him by the dojo for a free private lesson and a chat. First thing this morning, they came in, and I tried to be empathetic as Hayden reluctantly told me about what's been happening to him.

  When he finished catching me up on everything, I told him how Jacob and I got bullied and beaten up a bunch when we were kids. "We weren’t always total badasses. I mean, I was, but Jacob caught up eventually," I’d said with a grin.

  We bullshit for a few more minutes, and he finally started to loosen up. That's when we got to work, focusing mostly on Jiu-Jitsu, so that he could control a stronger and larger opponent. We also mixed in some boxing for good measure. Hayden had always done well at competitions, but real fights were a hell of a lot different.

  “Hayden, I want to say again how proud I am that you’ve been trying so hard to avoid a fight. But you gotta remember that there’s a difference between senseless violence and defending yourself. The latter is okay.”

  The boy looked up at me thoughtfully and nodded.

  “Alright, guys, I have an appointment soon, so I gotta take off. But just to recap, what’s your game plan?”

  Hayden put his hands straight down along his sides and stood at attention. “The best way to win a fight is to avoid the fight!”

  “Right. And if they keep pressing you?”

  “Give them three warnings!”

  “And if they ignore those warnings?”

  “Make them wish they hadn’t!”

  “Alright, now what is it we believe here?”

  “I will not run away. I will protect-” Hayden went on to recite the dojo creed we had every student say when they finished their classes. My mom came up with it before she died, and Dad had it painted in big letters on the wall behind the boxing ring. One of the many things he did to make sure her legacy lived on.

  After Hayden finished the creed, we bowed to each other and bumped fists. “Try not to get caught after you kick this kid’s ass. Getting suspended from school sucks.”

  He laughed and looked back, feeling his father's hand on his shoulder.

  “Plus, I think your mother will kill you. I’ll take you out for a milkshake, but she’ll kill you,” Dorian said, still smiling at his son.

  I slung my backpack over my shoulder and walked them both outside. They waved to me as they walked to the parking lot behind our building, and I locked up the dojo.

  #

  “I know I probably should have asked earlier in our session, but how have you been since you went off your medication? It’s been about ten weeks now, and it’s common to suddenly have a spike in depression after about eight to ten weeks.”

  The question was innocent enough, and given who asked it, I knew she was expressing genuine concern. Susan has been my therapist for almost three years now–long enough to know that she legitimately cared about her clients.

  The petite woman sitting at the desk across the room from me was probably in her late sixties, but she looked young for her age. The lines at the corners of her eyes and the wrinkles on her forehead had just started to form, which was surprising, considering people dumped all their stresses and anxieties on her for most of the week.

  A few years ago, one of my students had recommended Susan to me. She'd managed to help someone in his family whom other psychologists had made no progress with. Back then, I was in a pretty bad place, so I took them up on the recommendation.

  “I’ve been alright. Just training constantly, playing guitar, hanging with Jacob and some of the folks at the dojo...depression's been manageable, overall.” I tried to make it sound at least somewhat convincing, which wasn’t hard since it was mostly true. I was doing much better than I had been, but I still had my low points. Hell, who didn’t? Last time I checked, that’s part of being human.

  I leaned back into the couch to get more comfortable, even though comfort wasn’t an option on this stiff-cushioned monstrosity. I’d been begging her for over a year to send it back to Costco, but she wouldn't budge on the issue. It's not like she had to sit on it and suffer for an hour.

  “Well, that sounds like progress to me,” she said with a smile. “Have you given any more thought to what we talked about last time?”

  “You’re gonna have to be a bit more specific on that one...”

  “Have you started looking for employment outside of your family’s dojo? Part of why you started seeing me was to help ‘get your life back to normal’ as you put it.”

  This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

  I didn’t answer her right away. Instead, I crossed my arms; hearing her harp on this again was starting to get old. My head rolled back onto the cushion, eyes locking onto the ceiling fan, as I decided how best to answer. Originally, I'd wanted to try and put my life back together, go back to my old routines and lifestyle. But as time dragged on, I began to settle into this new normal.

  Screw it, I didn’t feel like dancing around the issue today.

  Susan was leaning forward expectantly, her chin resting on her hands. A tiny Sigmund Freud action figure stood next to her on the desk. It even wore a little superhero cape she'd sewn for it. Stitched onto the cape were the letters ML, for Mother Lover.

  “Honestly, after giving it a lot of thought, I don’t think that path is really for me anymore. I’m fine with how things are right now. I teach classes at the dojo five days a week, spend time with the people in my life that matter, and we both know that finances aren’t an issue for me.”

  She sat up straight and cocked her head.

  “I can see your argument for wanting to go this route, but don’t you feel you might have regrets about not returning to your previous career? You’ve been very open with me in the past about how rewarding it used to feel helping people. And if I remember correctly, you said that the reason you didn't accept the offer from that UFC scout was that you'd have to stop being a paramedic. You would have had to dedicate more of your time to training for a bigger organization than the one you were already a champion in.”

  Being a paramedic had been tough with some of the terrible things I'd seen out in the field, but I was making a difference. Go out, assess the scene, perform emergency care, and then get the patient to the hospital as fast as possible. There was no denying the truth in how amazing it felt to save lives, but I didn’t think I had it in me anymore to see that kind of stuff. Not after what had happened.

  Besides, talking to my old coworker, it sounds like almost all the calls he showed up for these days were overdoses and people who'd been shot or stabbed. This whole area has been going downhill for over a decade now.

  “Giving up isn’t how I would phrase it.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “Okay, then how would you phrase it?”

  My mouth opened to answer, but it closed again after a second. How could I make her understand? I turned and looked out her window, down onto the park beside her building. There were a lot of kids in the playground for this hour on a weekday.

  Some parents were sitting on the bench, only paying attention to their phones, but a few were out there playing with their kids. I wondered which of those I might have been. The inattentive parent or the one constantly inserting themselves into everything that their kid was doing? Maybe something in between? I was happy for those people, but my heart ached as I watched.

  “My priorities changed. Look, as a therapist, you’re probably one of the last people I need to remind that life is fluid. Everything changes and nothing stays the same… unless you’re dead.” I didn’t need to look away from the window to know that her eyes had probably dropped to the black leather cuffs on my wrists.

  She cleared her throat, trying to reset herself. “I can respect your decision with all that. And since you keep your license active, you could always go back to it if you ever change your mind. What classes are you teaching tonight? Kids?"

  "Nah, that's Monday through Thursday. Tonight's advanced Muay Thai at seven, and then sparring with the pro-fighters. Honestly, the only thing I don't like about teaching on Fridays is the lack of kids' classes," I chuckled.

  Those were by far the most meaningful for me. The kids at our dojo were the happiest people I knew; they still hadn’t realized how rough life could be. And when they won competitions with the moves that I’d taught them, it was unreal how proud of them I felt. Admittedly, I might be living a bit vicariously through my students, both the adults and the kids, since I had chosen to stop competing and fighting professionally.

  "Will Jacob be there tonight?"

  "Yeah, we're co-teaching tonight. So, it should be a lot of fun, as usual."

  My brother always brought a solid boost to the gym’s energy level. He wasn’t the untamable party monster he'd been in college, but everyone still loved having him around.

  Susan smiled and nodded. “Oh!" she said, perking up. "Have you considered asking out the girl who works the front desk at your family’s dojo? I remember you saying she’s been trying to get you to attend some events with her for a while now.”

  I shifted around on the couch. It wasn’t just the furniture that was making me uncomfortable anymore.

  “Cassie? Yeah, she’s been putting out more of a, uh, ‘let’s bang’ vibe than a relationship vibe. Don't get me wrong, she's sweet, but I’m thirty-one and she’s only twenty-one, so that probably wouldn't work out in the long run. Besides," I shrugged, "I’m still not quite sure I'm ready.”

  Susan nodded along while sipping coffee from her poop-emoji coffee mug.

  “Well, it has been a few years since the incident.”

  An interesting thing to call it.

  “Eventually, it might be good to open yourself to the possibility of a connection with someone. Even if it doesn’t end in a relationship, a hot weekend where you two just bang it out might be worth it in the long run,” she said with a grin.

  Yeah, I think it’s time to cut out for the day.

  “So your professional opinion is that I need to get laid?” I forced a smile. “How about we compromise with me saying ‘I'll think about it’?”

  “I can live with that.”

  “Hey, I think I’m gonna call this session a little early today if it’s all the same to you. I have a bunch of errands to run this morning.” Total bullshit. The only things on my agenda were going home, watching anime, and vegging until it was time to teach the evening classes. I’d had enough of my head being shrunk today.

  She smiled, probably suspecting as much, and we agreed to meet at the same time in two weeks.

  I stood up from the horrible couch and said a quick goodbye.

  As I approached the door, she said, “Ash? Before you go, might I offer one last insight?”

  My head turned slightly to peer back over my shoulder.

  “Take that girl out and have a good time. I think Tessa would have wanted you to be happy.”

  #

  Glancing over at the clock, I saw it was almost six in the evening now. It wasn’t like I was in a huge rush to leave for the dojo, but I liked getting there early so I could get my head into training mode and chat with my dad for a while. Luckily, my condo in Woodland Hills was only a few minutes’ walk from the dojo.

  Groaning, I sat up out of bed and set my remote on the nightstand, between a framed picture of Tessa and a stuffed white bunny rabbit. Its tiny hopeful eyes looked up at me while I patted its head. Inside this place, I had peace. It was lonely, but it was peaceful nonetheless.

  Outside the condo, however, I heard another police siren going by. The average interval between them now was about once every half hour.

  This world is falling apart. It’s no wonder aliens don’t contact us; they’re smart enough to know we suck.

  I stopped in front of the mirror that hung over my dresser and stared at the man on the other side. He was lean, and his muscles were well defined from a lifetime of training. Short, brown stubble adorned his face. A hand traced the long surgery scar that bisected his abs, stopping at the top. The hollowness in his eyes deepened as they lingered on the ring that hung by a chain just over his heart. He sighed, putting on the leather cuffs that hid the scars on his wrists. We both forced a smile onto our faces.

  "I should probably shave if we're going out tonight."

  After I finished the last of a PowerBar, I threw on my backpack and double-checked that the alarm was on. Once my locking ritual was finished, I'd be on my way. The neighbors on both sides of my condo always looked at me kind of weirdly since I'd installed three deadbolts when I moved in two years ago. But I didn’t care. Home invasions happened. And I wasn’t taking that chance again. Never again.

  Ambling down the cracked and empty sidewalk of Canoga Avenue, I ignored the gridlocked street traffic beside me. Looking at all those frustrated people would only put a hard stop to the good mood finally taking root inside me. My head tilted back, and a smile emerged on my face as I took in the beautiful California sunset. All the clouds had started to turn a vivid cotton candy pink, wisps of fiery orange feathering their edges. Evenings like this calmed whatever storm might be raging inside me.

  I checked my phone to see if Jacob had messaged me about tonight’s classes yet. Nothing. Odds were good that right now, my twin was stuck in traffic, listening to Five Finger Death Punch and stressing about all the road rage drivers. He’d probably be better off if he took his motorcycle for his commute, but he was firm that "The Ducati is only for racing in the canyons."

  As I slid the phone back into my pocket, it hit. A freezing sensation washed over, engulfing me in an instant. There was no wind, no change in the world around me–yet it suddenly felt like a heavy blanket of ice was smothering me. It coursed through my veins, spreading into every cell in my body, and burned like a cold acid. All of my muscles contracted and tightened at once. I couldn't breathe.

  My body shivered violently, but I somehow managed to wrap my arms around myself as I doubled over, staring down at the graffiti-covered street corner. Something was desperately trying to claw its way out of my chest. My mouth opened to scream, but the sensation vanished. As quickly as it had all begun, it stopped just as fast. I straightened back up and tried to slow my breathing.

  "What the hell wa–"

  “You’re gonna have to be strong, baby. They need you.”

  I spun so fast that I lost my balance and fell on my ass. Still shaking and wide-eyed, I searched desperately. But she wasn’t there.

  No one was there.