Chapter Forty-Five – The Long Night

  Gray spent the day nauseous because of the amount of ironbites he was easting. Yes, he still trained, but training while fighting nausea wasn’t fun. They went for a run—two laps around the training fields, they threw a weighted leather ball to each other, and then Gray sparred with Tomi. It was a full day, ending with a disgusting meal at the canteen.

  By the time he and Rynn made it back to Ruin Manor, Gray was exhausted. He thought he’d sleep like the dead but that wasn’t the case. He wasn’t the only one awake. He heard Settie above him, walking around, pacing, moving her chair around. That didn’t help him.

  He tossed and turned in his bed, eventually going down stairs and into the living room to sip mint tea and gaze out the window. He saw a pack of hellish dogs with tentacles trailing out of their backs go running through. A few sniffed at the house but knew enough to keep on going. There was no way through the warding.

  Seeing the hellhounds didn’t help his stomach any and the fresh dose of adrenaline made him dizzy. Once demon dogs passed though, he found comfort in the kitchen near the dying embers of the little fire he’d started. It was getting colder as the summer turned to autumn. He wondered when the rains would come. He remembered both rain and snow during his year of healing. Had there really been snow? That seemed impossible. Being from the equator, he was very curious about the weather.

  But thinking about that seemed silly because of the stakes involved. He wasn’t worried about himself, no, but he had five other people to consider.

  He thought of what Blind John would say. Worry was not preparation. He needed to sleep, so he could be at his best both physically and mentally. Wandering about Ruin Manor wouldn’t help him, and if he wasn’t careful, Yellow would come down to investigate. It might wake up the entire house.

  The next day, it was equally intense, and by the next night, Gray had an even harder time sleeping. The nausea was just as bad. Settie said that he wouldn’t have to eat any ironbite at all the next morning because the next day was Culling Day.

  Gray touched the back of his neck. He felt the upraised skin of his mana mark there. He’d suffered through the itching and the burning. It wouldn’t be long before it would fill with ink and he’d be a neophyte.

  He’d worked hard all summer, and every minute of training and hardship led to this moment—Culling Day’s eve.

  Again he left his bed to sit in the chair in front of the living room window. The street outside was empty, the cobblestones glittering in the starlight.

  Yellow came down to sit with him, and Gray appreciated the company, though he knew he and the dog wouldn’t be alone for long. They weren’t. Rynn came down, in her nightgown, and pulled a chair over.

  She smiled at him. “Mr. No, you say ‘no’ to everything, but you should say ‘yes’ to sleeping. We have to be in the coliseum at dawn, which means we’ll be up extra early to make the walk into town. Being down here isn’t help you. Why aren’t you in your room, young man?”

  He smiled back. “Miss Yes, I agree with you. What would Aunt Florence say?”

  “Aunt Florence would say we have overworked ourselves. A busy body leads to a busy mind, and vice versa. Worry is not preparation.”

  Gray cocked his head. “Did she really say that?”

  “Yes, why.”

  “Because she must’ve been quoting Blind John. He also said that the mind is a wonderful slave but a terrible master.”

  “So is self-mastery taking control of our thoughts and emotions?” Rynn asked.

  Gray sighed. “I want to say yes. That would make sense, wouldn’t it? We control our minds, but no, the mind’s job is to think. We can’t stop thoughts. We can just let them go.”

  “And emotions?” Rynn asked.

  “Feelings are not facts. We feel them, yes, but we shouldn’t follow them blindly. However, our feeling can guide us. I think that’s why I haven’t been sleeping well.”

  Rynn giggled. “You miss Third Barracks and our pet scorpions. Oh, how comforting the heat! How joyful the shouting and running and the slamming of the doors. It was a very calming symphony. Maybe Ruin Manor is too comfortable, and it’s made you soft.”

  Gray didn’t mention the pack of hellish dogs he’d seen the night before. There was no need.

  Rynn sobered. “Sorry. You were going to tell me about your feelings.”

  He nodded. “The captain isn’t doing this out of the goodness of her heart. She has an agenda. In the end, we’ll be out on the fields, putting our lives on the line. She won’t be.”

  “We have a healer, Mr. No. And you’re here, with a good heart and a powerful core…all because of her. I agree, she does have some secret plan, but I guess I don’t care that much. I’m here for my own benefit and the benefit of our family. Let’s do our best tomorrow. We’ve worked hard, and there’s no reason why we shouldn’t place in the top three.”

  Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  “There are only five of us,” he reminded her. “And three of us haven’t held a ball in their lives.”

  She rolled her eyes, smiling impishly. Her golden hair had grown some and was now several inches long. He loved it, like he loved the life in her eyes. It was the power of her core that twinkled there. “I’ve held a ball before, Gray but it wasn’t an important part of my training. Yes, I knew that some exams might be related to balls, but generally it’s all been fighting. This year, though, is different. Maybe the same forces that are trying to sabotage the captain and ruin our squad made sure that balls would be a part of Culling Day. You know there was a time when the Testing was all about a game called Chaotica, which involved moving a ball down the field against your team. From what I gather, they unleashed demons on the field as well, but they stopped the practice because it was too, well, chaotic.”

  Gray tried to imagine how that might look, a squad of recruits playing street ball, kicking the ball across the field while hellhounds tried to eviscerate them.

  He sighed. “So tomorrow we have the Crush Rush, Sixblood, and Final Hold. It doesn’t sound so bad.”

  “Let’s hope so,” Rynn said. “And if we get culled? I don’t want to go home, but I doubt the captain would let us stay. She has dropped every recruit who failed. You might be different, given how much mana you have, but me? I’m just an elf girl from the Crown.”

  She glanced down.

  “No, Rynnanatha, you are an elf girl who fights really well. And I’ve spent my summer chasing after you on everyone of our runs. I got tired of looking at your butt.”

  She gave him a little smile. “What a shocking thing to say, Mr. No. I am fairly certain my backside is very pleasing. More importantly, I do fight really well. Okay.” She stood up and reached out to him. “Let’s go to bed.”

  “The same bed?” Gray asked, pulse quickening.

  Rynn’s mouth fell open for a second. She closed. “Yes. Why not? It’s not like we’ll sleep much no matter what we do, and besides, you said you found my rear disagreeable.”

  He grinned. “Not that disagreeable.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Come. I know I’ll sleep well next to you.”

  “Why is that?”

  The elf girl raised her chin. “I feel safe with you. Come on.”

  She grabbed him and gently pulled him from the chair. Yellow was already heading toward the stairs, almost as if the dog had no idea why the humans were being so weird, staying up all night, talking, when they all could’ve been sleeping on a very nice bed.

  Gray allowed himself to be led up the steps, wondering if she was serious. She was. She got him settled in his bed and then climbed in next to him. She laid on her side, looking at him.

  Yellow, of course, was thrilled they were all together and he jumped up and curled up at the end.

  Gray turned his head. “I can’t sleep with you staring at me.”

  “Can I…uh…no…” Rynn flopped onto her other side, facing away from him. Being in the bed with her felt so perfect, and yet, so awkward as well.

  “Can you what?” he asked.

  “Nothing,” she said, still not facing him.

  “No, what? I promise to say ‘yes’ to whatever you want.”

  That caught her attention. She was back facing him in seconds. “Can I rest my head on your chest? And you can hold me, and I know I’ll go right to sleep. I’ve…I’ve dreamed of us together in that way. I believe it’s called cuddling. Aunt Florence warned against such things, though. She said cuddling led to kissing, and kissing led to bonding, and bonding with the wrong person led to a sorrowful life.”

  “Aunt Florence was right about a lot of things, but she was wrong about that. We can cuddle without kissing.”

  “Do you promise?” Rynn asked.

  “Do you promise? There are two of us here. I don’t have a lust resonance to worry about.”

  She let out a fierce sigh. “You can’t talk about resonances! But okay. Let’s try. And if I can’t control myself, I’ll leave before I kiss you. I think I’ll be able to because I’m all about mastering myself.”

  “That’s my line.”

  She scooted over to him and rested her head on his chest. He found himself holding her, caressing her short hair, and he noticed her leg was on his. He felt her heat, and it was comfortable, especially when a chill wind blew through the broken windows.

  “Tell me we’ll win,” she said quietly.

  “We’ll win, Rynnanatha. We’ll come in first place, and all the Watchfire families won’t be able to stop talking about the squad of five who won the gold on Culling Day.”

  The more he talked, the more he began to believe it was possible.

  Soon, her breathing had changed, and she was sleeping. Holding her while she slumbered felt like the greatest honor of his life. She was powerful, sweet, trustworthy, and ambitious. He was tempted by her, not right then, but he thought that maybe after the Testing something might happen. It had been so long since he’d been with a woman. He felt the desire quicken his pulse. Smelling her, feeling her, made it worse. Having her in bed with him had been such a mistake.

  At the same time, what was another sleepless night when he got to be in heaven?

  It took a while, but soon, he wasn’t thinking about kissing her, only about how soothing it was to have both Rynn and Yellow sleeping soundly. He felt silly for not joining them, and then, before he knew it, he was dreaming.

  He stood in the place of water and stars, standing in the sea to the south of the house. He walked forward with the water swishing around his ankles. The rippling water danced in the starlight. The shack was there, the lights on, and he smelled something sweet, a perfume in the air. It was Rynn’s scent, he realized.

  Oma’s voice was there. “Tomorrow, little dreamer, you’ll have to be brave. You’ve come far, but there are powerful forces trying to stop you from succeeding. Poor Settie has dreams of her own but make no mistake, you’re not here for her. You are here for your destiny, my sweet, sweet dreamer.”

  “Can you tell me anything about tomorrow?” Gray asked.

  “You’ve already done one Culling Day, my sweet child. You can do another. Look down.”

  Gray found himself staring into the water, and he saw the dead again, this time the face of a dwarven man with a full beard. At first, he thought it was Softie, and his heart fell, but no, it was someone far younger. Gray realized it was probably the recruit that had been killed.

  There was another face there, though, and Gray recognized it immediately. It was Carter. Poor Carter.

  When the dead boy’s milky eyes opened, Gray was shocked awake, his heart pounding.

  Rynn whimpered in her sleep, and Yellow yawned, looking at them both for a second, before flopping back down.

  Gray didn’t know what the vision meant, but he wasn’t going to repeat another Battle Royale. He wasn’t going to make anyone sacrifice themselves for a win. And if such a sacrifice was necessary, he would be the one to make it.