Ongoing analysis of assignee: Senior Seer Phelann

  Subject has been spending less time within the Seer Dorms and in her Research Lab, limiting opportunities for active surveillance. Subject's mood less isolated than initial investigations reported.

  Monitoring attempts initially yielded some information aligned with publicly assigned research as well as investigation into basic education for Combat Path Awakened.

  Subject's activities now only reflect fragments of assigned research. All work that might be associated with Holding Syl or Combat Path training seems to be being performed elsewhere.

  Records indicate all work is still being done yet surveillance cannot account for it. Off-site EDN access suspected.

  Recommend discontinuing surveillance.

  Recommend escalating to active engagement with subject to attempt to identify alternate information sources. Subject's lack of overt Familial Affiliations may provide venue for introducing new support structure in current climate.

  ~ * ~

  Seb set down the three coffee mugs before slipping into the booth. It had been long enough since he'd last been here that he didn't want to just grab mugs and walk off leaving money behind, so instead of the usual 30 second pause at the counter he'd ended up spending almost 10 minutes clarifying that no, he wasn't dead, and no, he hadn't moved out of town.

  He'd been surprised they remembered as much as they did about him when he hadn't been around for over 9 months, but apparently his abrupt disappearance had surprised them. After reassuring them he was still alive, and living with his girlfriend, yes, he had a girlfriend now, they finally let him get take his coffees and join Anya and Fay.

  "Sorry it took so long."

  "Did you know them?" Fay asked. "They seemed very interested in you, and in us."

  "He used to come here all the time," Anya answered with a smirk. "They thought we were on a date when we came here."

  "Weren't you?" Fay asked, a hint of confusion in her voice. "I mean, you said this was where you were before he gave you the hoodie, right?"

  "We'd just met and were talking about Awakened life," Anya explained and glanced over at him.

  The table doesn't cover me this time.

  Anya! he sent as he nearly choked on his coffee. He could feel himself blushing as he thought back to their previous visit.

  Yes? she sent back, the mental tone one of total innocence despite the glee hidden beneath it.

  "Seb?" Fay chimed in. "Are you-"

  "I'm fine!" he interrupted. "Coffee was a bit hotter than I expected."

  He could feel Anya suppressing her urge to tease him further as he took a deep breath.

  "Shes right. We came here to talk about how I Awakened, what our lives were like."

  He could see that Fay was disappointed in the answer, but he didn't consider their first visit here a date. The dinner Anya paid for after he bought her Court clothes was definitely a date, but their conversation over coffee? They weren't even really friends then, they might never have been friends if not for what had happened next.

  It didn't take long to go over their usual updates, Fay simply nodding along to their repeated explanations of what they had managed to learn or apply in the last couple weeks.

  "You need to take more breaks," Fay said as they finished. "You're going to burn out pushing this fast."

  "We take breaks," he answered. "We spend time with you don't we?"

  "Two or three days a month is hardly a break."

  "We take days off to train," Anya argued. "We test out new ideas, we spar against each other. Last week we finally managed to make sparring with our wrists bound to each other work as…"

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  Seb looked down at his mug as Anya trailed off. He could feel her realizing what she'd almost said and the implications it would have led to.

  "Works as?" Fay asked, clearly curious.

  "We, um-" Anya struggled to answer.

  "It showed us how we could-" he added and then stopped.

  "We take breaks and relax," he finally said before grabbing their mugs and heading off to refill them.

  He got back just in time to see Fay tucking herself back further into the booth.

  "- you took a break?"

  "I-" Fay muttered. "With you."

  "And before we starting having meals with you?"

  Fay looked away, only barely glancing at her mug as he set it down.

  Anya?

  She never takes breaks, she never took breaks, she answered.

  Is she wrong that we should? he asked.

  She's not wrong about the risk of burnout when you don't find ways to keep things in perspective.

  "Fay?" he asked.

  "I didn't take breaks," she whispered. "I didn't want to take breaks."

  "You didn't burn out though," he answered.

  "I worked. I worked and I worked. I hid in the lab, I hid in my room. I had to work. Had to."

  "Why?" Anya asked.

  "Had to do better, had to do more. Had to show I made the right choice."

  Seb frowned and waited, saying nothing despite the concern he felt.

  "Had to show them they were wrong."

  "Show who?" he asked after a moment when it was clear she wasn't going to continue.

  Fay turned to look at him, her eyes full of un-shed tears as she seemed to realize where she was.

  "No one, not anymore."

  She looked down at her coffee and took a sip then frowned and pushed it aside.

  "Can we go? I don't want coffee anymore."

  "Of course," Anya agreed immediately.

  ~ * ~

  Seb spent the drive home in silence. Anya was in the back with Fay, leaning in to talk in whispers he could only barely hear. He could tell Fay was calming down, that Anya's presence was helping.

  As they stepped into the house Fay cleared her throat, getting both their attention as she straightened.

  "I apologize for earlier," she began. "Memories were-"

  "I told you it was fine." Anya interrupted gently.

  "No," Fay disagreed with a frown. "I was rude."

  "Fay," Seb said. "You don't have to explain."

  "I do." she said. "For me."

  Seb nodded and headed into the kitchen to grab water for them before joining them on the couch.

  "Anya was right." Fay said. "I hadn't taken a break in years. I never took breaks, never stopped."

  "I fully Awakened at 19." she continued. "I went to the Seer Headquarters less than a month later to request training. Breakfast with you, the day you gave me my room, that was my first break in over 25 years."

  Seb frowned as he looked at her. Once again he was struck by how Awakened ages did not match his expectations. He knew she was older than them, she had to be based on her Path progression and experience, but he hadn't thought she was twice his age.

  "Your family-" he began.

  "No!" Fay nearly yelled then pushed herself back into the couch.

  Anya slid next to her, wrapping her arm around their friend. Seb saw Fay flinch and nearly pull away, nearly bolt at the unexpected touch. After a moment she visibly relaxed.

  "I'm sorry, I-"

  "No," she cut him off once more. "I don't talk about them. Don't want to."

  "You don't have to Fay," Anya said. "You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to."

  "Another time. Not today," Fay said. "I- thank you."

  "Whenever you want," Anya agreed.

  Seb took a sip of his water before trying to change the subject.

  "Still moving things out of the dorm?"

  "No," Fay mumbled then seemed to regain focus. "Everything I need is here now. I left some things there for when I need to be there."

  "You know you can-" he started.

  "I have to keep the room," she said quickly. "Seers don't live at Holdings unless they are Holding Seers. If I have a room there I still live there."

  "Even if you stay here most of the time?" Anya asked.

  "As long as I say I live there, and am there sometimes, I live there," Fay clarified and finally smiled. "That's what the rules say, I made sure."

  "Research?" he asked

  "Research," she agreed.

  At Seb's urging she spent the next few minutes explaining what the rules specified, how they were enforced, why this loophole let her stay in her comfortable bed but still officially live in the dorms. By the time she'd finished she seemed back to her usual self.

  Thank you, Anya sent.

  Thank you too, he replied.

  "I'm sorry I-"

  "Fay," he interrupted as he glanced over her head at Anya. "If you keep apologizing for being a person, for having feelings, I'm going to ask Anya to tickle you."

  He grinned as they both looked up at him in shock and disbelief. Without another word being said Fay stood up and moved to the chair, crossing her arms as she glared at him.

  "No."

  "No," Anya echoed a moment later. "I'm not going to tickle her."

  "Fine. No tickling," he relented. "But no more apologizing."

  "I ruined the mood," Fay argued.

  "I pushed you," Anya insisted.

  "And I brought up your family," Seb finished. "We all could have reasons to apologize, so no more apologizing."

  "But-"

  "He's right," Anya interrupted softly.

  Sorry about saying you'd tickle her.

  I tickle you, you tickle me, our thing, she answered, a hint of heat underlying her words.

  Is that how it is? he asked.

  Yes, because then we-

  "The coffee was good," Fay cut in, unaware of their banter.

  "I told you," Anya answered without missing a beat.

  "You mean I told you both," he teased.

  "I'd had the coffee before," Anya argued.

  "And I told you it was good then."

  "I liked it." Fay chimed in.

  They spent the next while discussing coffee, good, bad and acceptable. Fay tried once again to explain what made kaf different, why it was superior to coffee. The argument was familiar, comfortable, safe. The last hints of sadness in Fay's eyes never quite vanished, it would start to come back when she talked about kaf, but it never turned into anything more. The tension from the coffee shop was gone, no one mentioned taking breaks, no one needed to.

  They were taking a break right now, they weren't going to let each other burn out.

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