Usui’s Dilemma – A Bright Calamity Side Story

  Usui's House, Night

  Usui stares at his ceiling.

  11:47 PM. He knows because he checked his phone a minute ago. He's been checking it every few minutes for the past hour.

  The house is quiet.

  He should be asleep. School tomorrow. Test in second period. He hasn't studied.

  He closes his eyes.

  His mom's door opens down the hall.

  His eyes open.

  Footsteps. Heavy. Not hers. Moving toward her room, not away from it.

  The door closes.

  Usui doesn't move. Doesn't breathe.

  A sound. Low. Through the wall.

  His chest tightens.

  Another sound. His mom's voice, but he can't tell what she's saying, can't tell if it's—

  He pulls the blanket up. Turns toward the wall. Presses the pillow over his ear.

  It doesn't help.

  His brain fills in what he can't hear. What he doesn't want to hear. Images he didn't ask for. Sounds turning into pictures. His mom. Neptune.

  He can't stop.

  12:23 AM. He checks his phone again. The screen is too bright. His eyes sting.

  The house is quiet again.

  He doesn't know when it stopped. He was too busy trying not to think.

  He stares at the ceiling.

  He doesn't sleep.

  School, Cafeteria, Lunch

  "—and then this guy tries to tell me the underground tunnels follow a grid system. Like, have you ever actually been down there? Half the stations don't even connect." Ryota gestures with his fork.

  "You've been mapping the subway again," Niche says.

  "It's interesting! The way they built it makes no sense but somehow it works."

  "Sounds inefficient."

  "That's what I'm saying." Ryota takes a bite. "Anyway, I found this spot where three lines meet but there's no transfer station. Like who designed this?"

  Niche picks at his food, half-listening. He glances to Ryota’s left.

  Usui sits next to him, quiet. Staring at his tray. But his eyes keep flicking toward Niche. Quick glances, then back down.

  What's his deal? Niche thinks.

  "So if you wanted to get from the east side to downtown," Ryota continues, "you'd have to take two extra stops just to loop back. It's ridiculous."

  Niche glances at Usui again.

  This time Usui's already looking at him. They make eye contact for a second too long before Usui looks away.

  "Niche?" Ryota asks, suspicious.

  "What?"

  "I just asked if you wanted to check it out with me this weekend."

  "Oh. Yeah, sure."

  Ryota laughs. "You have no idea what I just said."

  "Subway stuff."

  "Close enough." Ryota goes back to his food.

  School, 3:07 PM

  Niche walks out of the main school entrance when he feels it: someone watching him.

  He keeps walking.

  "Niche."

  He turns. Usui stands under a tree to the left, looking like he hasn't slept in a week. Niche had already seen him from the corner of his eye, but he acts like he's just noticing.

  Niche walks over. "You've been staring at me all day."

  "I need to ask you something."

  Niche leans against the tree. "Then ask."

  Usui's mouth is dry. He rehearsed this. On the way to school. During class. At lunch. He had the words ready.

  They're gone now.

  "If someone wanted to get rid of a problem."

  "A problem."

  "L-Like hunting. If someone wanted to go hunting."

  Niche doesn't blink. "You don't hunt."

  "Hypothetically."

  "Hypothetically." Niche tilts his head, studies Usui like he's reading something written on his face. "What kind of animal?"

  "A big one."

  "How big?"

  "Big enough that it's dangerous. To people around it."

  Silence.

  Niche pushes off the tree, taking a step closer. His voice drops.

  "You're not talking about hunting."

  Usui's heart pounds. "I—"

  "You want to kill someone."

  The words hang in the air. Usui can't deny it. Can't confirm it. Can't do anything except stand there.

  "Who?" Niche asks. Not shocked. Not judging. Just curious.

  "I can't—"

  "It's fine. I'm not gonna tell anyone." Niche pulls out his phone, checking it casually. "Who is it?"

  Usui hesitates. "Just... someone."

  "Someone you want dead." Niche pockets his phone. "Must be pretty bad if you're asking me."

  Usui doesn't say anything.

  "So?" Niche asks, like they're discussing homework. "What's the problem?"

  "The problem is I don't know how."

  "Yes you do. Knife. Gun. Poison. Blunt object. There's a hundred ways to kill someone."

  "I mean how to plan it. How to get away with it. How to—"

  "That's your first mistake."

  Usui stops. "What?"

  Niche looks at him. "You're planning it. You're sitting there thinking about the perfect way to do it. The right moment. The right method. How to cover your tracks." He shakes his head. "That's why you haven't done it."

  "I don't—"

  "The more you plan, the more you think. The more you think, the more reasons you find not to do it. It's too risky. It won't work. What if I get caught. What if it doesn't change anything." Niche crosses his arms. "You'll talk yourself out of it before you ever pick up the knife."

  Usui's hands are shaking. "Then what am I supposed to do?"

  "Don't plan it."

  "What?"

  "If you really want him dead, don't think about it. Wait until you're angry. Really angry. The kind of angry where your hands move before your brain catches up." Niche's voice is calm, like he's explaining homework. "In that moment, you won't hesitate. You won't second-guess. Your body will know what to do."

  "That's…"

  “That’s the only way it’ll work. I’m just being honest.” Niche starts walking away. "You came to me because you wanted permission. I'm not going to give you that. But I'm also not going to tell you not to do it."

  "Why not?"

  Niche stops, looking back over his shoulder.

  "Because I don't care if he dies. And neither should you, if you're serious about this."

  He starts walking away again. Usui stands there alone. His hands won't stop shaking.

  But Niche stops after a few steps, turning back with a slight grin. "Who is it, by the way?"

  Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

  Usui hesitates.

  "Just so I know who I'm indirectly killing," Niche says, lighthearted.

  Usui looks at him for a second. "…his name is Neptune."

  “Neptune…” Niche repeats back.

  The grin drops. Niche just stands there, staring at nothing.

  "You know him?" Usui asks.

  Niche doesn't answer. He reaches into his pocket, pulling out his pocketknife. He tosses it to Usui.

  Usui catches it. "What's this for?"

  "You might need it." Niche says, already turning away. "Sharpen it a little more though."

  Niche walks off.

  Usui stands there with the knife, watching him disappear.

  Wait until you're angry.

  He thinks about last night. The sounds through the wall. Neptune's smile at breakfast.

  He's already angry.

  He's been angry for months.

  City Streets, Night

  Rain.

  Usui blinks. Water runs down his face.

  His jacket is soaked through, heavy. His shoes are wet. The street is empty except for him.

  How long have I been walking?

  It's dark now.

  The weight of the knife in his pocket reminds him.

  His hands ball into fists.

  A footstep. Water splashes against the pavement.

  Usui looks into the distance.

  Someone stands in the street ahead, maybe twenty feet away. The rain makes it hard to see their face clearly, but he doesn't need to.

  He already knows.

  "You've been avoiding me." Neptune's voice cuts through the rain. Calm. "I don't like that."

  Usui doesn't say anything.

  "Your mother asked where you were. I told her I'd find you." Neptune tilts his head. "Here you are."

  Rain runs down Usui's face. His hand reaches in his pocket.

  "Come home."

  "No."

  Neptune's expression doesn't change, but something shifts behind his eyes.

  "No?" He lets out a breath, almost amused. "Running away. That's your solution? Because you don't like what happens at home?"

  Usui keeps his head lowered.

  "This is how the world works. Men and women. Relationships. Sex. You're old enough to understand that, but you're acting like a child who walked in on his parents." Neptune's voice stays level, condescending. "Your mother's happy. I make her happy. But you can't handle that, so you sulk. You avoid me. Like that changes anything."

  Silence. Just rain.

  "I'm not a kid," Usui says quietly.

  “Then stop acting like one. Grow up. Stop running from reality just because it makes you uncomfortable. Come home, . I won’t tell you again.”

  They stand there. Rain falling between them. Streetlights flicker above.

  Neptune takes a step forward. "So what now? You think you're tough? Think you can say no to me?"

  Usui doesn't move.

  Neptune takes another step. "I own that house. I own that bitch and her body. And I own you."

  Usui's grip tightens on the metal in his pocket.

  Neptune stops three feet away now, looking down at him.

  Silence.

  The rain falls.

  Usui moves. The knife comes out of his pocket. Niche's knife.

  Neptune sees it. He doesn't flinch. Just looks amused.

  The blade drives into Neptune's stomach. Warm blood spills over Usui's fingers.

  Neptune grunts, looking down at the wound, then back up.

  He grabs Usui by the collar and headbutts him.

  Usui's nose breaks. Blood pours down his face, mixing with rain. His vision blurs but he doesn't let go of the knife.

  Neptune shoves him back, sending Usui sprawling to the floor with the knife. "You know what she said last night? Your mom?"

  Usui picks up the weapon and lunges forward, stabbing Neptune again, in the shoulder this time.

  Neptune ignores it and punches him in the ribs. Hard. Something cracks. Usui gasps, releases his weapon, and stumbles backwards.

  "She said my name." Neptune pulls the knife out of his shoulder. Blood runs down his arm. He tosses it back at Usui's feet. "Pick it up. We're not done."

  Usui picks it up, panting. He charges at Neptune, stabbing the knife in his side.

  Neptune grabs Usui’s wrist and twists. Usui hears something pop. His hand goes numb. The knife clatters to the ground.

  "She makes this sound when I touch her neck." Neptune's voice is casual, like he's discussing the weather. "Kind of a whimper. You've probably heard it through the wall."

  Usui uses his other hand, punches Neptune in the face. His knuckles split open on Neptune's teeth.

  Neptune laughs, punching him back. Once in the stomach. Usui doubles over. Then an uppercut. Usui's head snaps back.

  "The best part?" Neptune grabs him by the hair, forcing him to look up. "She pretends to like it. Closes her eyes real tight and pretends. You think that makes it better or worse?"

  Usui spits blood in his face.

  Neptune yanks him up by his hair. Usui's feet leave the ground.

  "I should bash your skull in right here." Neptune pulls him down towards the pavement. He pauses, considering. "But she won't let me fuck her if I bring you back looking like roadkill."

  He releases Usui's hair and shoves him.

  Usui's legs are too weak to catch himself. He stumbles, going down. His heel kicks the knife on the wet pavement. It flips up, tumbling through the rain, and buries itself in Neptune's chest.

  Neptune staggers back, looking down at it. Blood soaks his shirt now.

  "When I'm done with your mother, I'll move on." He pulls the knife out slowly. "Another family. Use her and throw her away like the trash she is."

  Usui tries to push himself up. His arms shake under his weight.

  Neptune's fist slams into his face. Usui crashes back down, head slamming on the pavement.

  Everything hurts. He can taste blood.

  Something hot builds behind his eyes. He feels it coming – tears welling up – and he would stop it if he had any strength left. But he doesn't. The rain should hide it anyway.

  It doesn't.

  Neptune notices. Of course he does.

  He stands over Usui, looking down. "Look at you. Crying. You really thought you could protect her? Can't even protect yourself."

  "Why?" Usui's voice cracks. "Why does it have to be my mom?"

  Neptune doesn't answer.

  "There's other people. Other families. Why us? What did we do?"

  "Nothing. It's not about you."

  "Then why can't you just leave? Go somewhere else?"

  "Because I'm here now."

  "But you don't have to be." Usui wipes his face with his sleeve. Blood and rain and tears. "You could find someone else. She'd forget about you eventually."

  "Exactly. So what's the problem?"

  "The problem is won't forget." Usui's still on the ground, rain pouring down. "Even after you're gone. Even after she doesn't remember. I'll still – it'll still be there. What you did. What I heard. All of it."

  "Not my problem."

  "It is though. Because you're doing it. You're the one—" His voice breaks. "She won't even know. She'll just think everything was fine and I'll be fucked up and she won't understand why."

  Neptune crouches down to his level. "You want to know why it has to be your mom?" He smiles. "That first night—the way she kept hesitating, saying ‘wait.’ But I didn't." He laughs quietly. "Made it better, honestly. And after? She stopped asking. Learned real quick."

  Usui goes still.

  "Now she acts like she wants it. Convinced herself. That's what people do—rewrite it so they can live with it." Neptune looks at him. "And you heard all of it through that wall. Every time. Never did anything."

  Usui doesn't move. Can't move.

  "So don't act like you're doing this for her. You're doing this because you feel guilty. Because you knew and you just laid there and let it happen." Neptune stands. "After I'm gone, she'll forget I ever touched her. But you? You'll remember that you knew and did nothing. That's what'll destroy you. Not me. You."

  Something breaks.

  Usui's leg sweeps out, catching Neptune's ankle.

  Neptune stumbles back. The knife slips from his hand, clattering on the pavement.

  Usui pushes himself up.

  He looks at Neptune and moves.

  His fist crashes into Neptune's face. The impact echoes. Neptune's head snaps back.

  Neptune staggers. Usui hits him again. And again. Neptune falls.

  Usui's on top of him. Punching. His knuckles split open. He doesn't feel it.

  The knife is on the ground. He grabs it.

  Stabs. Neptune's chest.

  Pulls out. Stabs again. Shoulder. Neck.

  Neptune tries to grab his wrist. Usui stabs his hand.

  Keeps going.

  Chest. Face. Throat.

  Neptune's punches get weaker. His laughter turns to coughing. Blood bubbles from his mouth.

  "She won't even remember you." Neptune’s voice is fading. "Few more months, she'll forget your dad too."

  Usui stabs his throat. The words stop.

  Neptune's eyes go blank, staring at nothing. Blood pools under him, washing away in the rain.

  Usui sits back, breathing hard. His whole body is shaking.

  He waits for something. Guilt. Relief. Anything.

  He just feels tired.

  He wipes the knife on his jacket, standing up. His legs barely hold him.

  He walks home.

  The rain washes the blood away. Off his hands, his jacket, his face. Like it never happened. He looks at the knife. Should drop it. Leave it in a gutter somewhere. He doesn't. He pockets it instead. For Niche. Has to return it to his friend.

  Usui's House, Morning

  Usui's eyes open. The ceiling is white. His alarm isn't going off, but it should be. He turns his head to check the time. 9:47 AM.

  He stares at the numbers. They don't mean anything. School started two hours ago. He's never late.

  He should get up. Should move. He doesn't.

  His body is sore. Ribs ache when he breathes, his jaw throbs, his wrist is swollen and barely moves without shooting pain up his arm. Headache pulses behind his eyes from where his head hit the pavement. But that's not why he's not moving.

  "Usui!" His mom's voice from downstairs, bright and normal. "You want french toast?"

  He opens his mouth. His throat is dry. "Yeah."

  He sits up slowly and puts his feet on the floor. He's still in yesterday's clothes. Blood on his sleeve. He stares at it.

  I should change. Hide this.

  He doesn't move. Then he does. Stands, walks to the bathroom. His legs work. That's something.

  He turns on the shower and reaches to pull his shirt off. He stops.

  There's a spider in the tub. Big - maybe two inches across if you count the legs - just sitting there in the center of the white porcelain.

  Usui looks at it. The spider doesn't move.

  He picks up the showerhead and turns the pressure high. The water hits. The spider scrambles, legs flailing as it tries to find purchase on the slick surface. The stream pushes it toward the drain, but it fights back, tries to climb. It succeeds. For a few seconds, the spider disregards the barrage and continues walking.

  Usui keeps the water on it. The spider tumbles, recovers, tries again. Usui doesn't move the stream. Just holds it there, steady.

  Eventually, the spider stops fighting. It washes down the drain in pieces.

  Usui hangs the showerhead back. His hand is steady.

  He strips and steps into the tub. The water hits his skin. He closes his eyes, feeling it run down his face, his chest, his arms.

  He opens his eyes. There's a roach in the corner where the tub meets the tile. A small one, trying to climb up the wall, but it keeps slipping back down.

  Usui watches it for three seconds. Then he steps out, water dripping. He goes to the cabinet under the sink. His hands are wet. The roach killer canister is cold. He walks back, points, and sprays.

  The roach falls immediately. Twitches twice, then stops all movement.

  The chemical smell hits, sharp enough to make his eyes water. His stomach turns. He needs air.

  He steps out of the shower, water dripping, and goes to where he left his clothes on the floor. He picks up his underwear.

  There's a silverfish underneath it. Just sitting there. Silver body catching the light.

  Usui slips on his shoe and stomps down hard. When he lifts up, the silverfish doesn't exist anymore. Just a smear.

  He puts the underwear on and opens the door, letting the toxic air circulate. Cold air rushes in. He's shivering, water still dripping from his hair.

  Three bugs. Why are there three bugs?

  The thought occupies his entire brain. Not why today. Not what it means. Just the fact of it. Three bugs in ten minutes. That doesn't happen.

  When he can breathe again, he closes the door and gets back in the shower. He’s able to wash this time. Shampoo. His hands go through the motions. Soap. Rinse.

  What the fuck is going on today.

  That's all he's thinking about. The bugs. The weirdness. The timing of it. Not last night. Not the knife. Not the rain or the blood or the body in the street. Just bugs.

  He turns the water off, dries off, and gets dressed. His reflection in the mirror shows bruises on his jaw and cheekbone, already yellowing at the edges.

  He opens the bathroom door and heads downstairs.

  The kitchen smells like french toast. His mom is at the stove, humming. Her hair is messy, pulled into a loose ponytail. There are dark circles under her eyes. She's wearing a robe that's tied too loosely.

  Usui sits down at the table. She sets a plate in front of him without looking at him directly. "You okay, honey? You look tired."

  "I'm fine."

  “Yeah. Me too.” She laughs, but it sounds hollow. She touches her neck, winces slightly. “Last night really wore me out. I was pushed to my limit.” She winces. “It was a rough night.”

  Usui's grip tightens on his fork.

  His mom pours herself coffee, taking a sip. Her hands shake slightly. "I'm heading out for groceries in a bit. You need anything?"

  Usui shakes his head.

  She finishes her coffee and grabs her purse. "Okay. I'll be back in an hour." She kisses the top of his head. He flinches. She doesn't notice. The door closes behind her. He wipes his forehead with his sleeve.

  Silence. Usui sits there with his fork in hand, staring at his french toast.

  Then, a voice calls from upstairs. "Usui."

  Usui’s heart stops.

  Neptune calls again from his room. "Come here."

  It's not a request.

  Usui stands. His legs feel like they're not his as he walks up the stairs and down the hallway. Neptune's door is open.

  Neptune is laying down on the bed, hands behind his head, and looks at Usui. "You got your fun out yesterday. Your little outburst." His voice is calm, conversational. "Pathetic, really. Thought you'd have more fight in you when it comes to defending your mom."

  Usui doesn't say anything.

  "But now?" Neptune leans back slightly. "Now you know. You can't hurt me. You can't stop me. You can't do anything."

  Usui looks to the floor.

  "So here's how this is going to work." Neptune sits up. "There's someone you are going to watch. Your friend Niche."

  Usui's eyes flick up.

  "You're going to get closer to him. As much as you can. Report back to me everything he does. Everything he says. Where he goes. Who he talks to."

  "Why—"

  "I'm not asking." Neptune's voice doesn't change, still calm. "You do this, or your sister dies. Then your mother. She'll probably smile while I do it, thinking I actually give a shit about her. You'll watch both of them go, and there won't be anything you can do about it."

  Usui's breath catches.

  "And then I'll move on. Another family. Another life. You'll be left here with nothing." Neptune stands and walks to the door. He stops and looks back. "But if you do what I say? They're safe. You're safe. Everyone stays happy."

  He pauses at the hallway. "Oh, and tell your mom to stretch more. She's getting stiff."

  Neptune leaves. Usui stands in the empty room. Outside, the rain has stopped. Morning light comes through the window.

  Usui looks down at his hands. They're not shaking anymore.