Today was the day, the day they had all prepared for. The air was palpable, and Noobkitty would be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous. But she was well rested and energized, last night she had slept better than she had in… well, even before she was downloaded. She held .ex’s hand for reassurance. Warm. Nervous herself. But filled with so much trust in Sweet Victory. On one of her fingers was a slight new but comforting feeling.
“I wish you could come but…” Noobkitty started.
“Someone has to make sure you have a home to come back to. Trust me, you explained already and it makes sense. Maybe after today we’ll know if I respawn. The world won’t have to worry about its data allowance after today.”
Noobkitty blinked. “Data allowance?”
“Something a customer told me about. He offered for me to leave the world if the team fails.”
Noobkitty paused her ears twitched. “You took the offer, right?” Noobkitty asked.
.ex shook her head. “No. If my Kitty is going to die with the world, then I’d like to be with her.”
Noobkitty nudged .ex’s head with her own and smiled. “As foolish as me. Good thing we have each other. Still I would of been happy to know you got out if I fail."
"Not your choice, its mine." She squeezed Noobkitty’s hand and smiled. “We ready?”
The team had a plan. It was solid. But there was something new as Noobkitty stepped out of the shop and saw…
Players.
Hundreds, maybe thousands of them.
Noobkitty had offered viewers a chance to join Sweet Victory for a feast before the final fight, but she hadn’t expected... this.
“Um, Agave? Can you please use your inventory permissions? It’d take me too long to put all the food on the table.”
“Sure. How much am I putting out?”
Noobkitty scanned the crowd and sighed at the realization. “All of it.”
.ex sighed her ears drooped a little. “Darn it, that’ll cut our time off short.”
“They’ll just have to forgive us for shutting down the store for a few days.”
.ex pulled up her UI and with a few swipes and presses, for blocks leading from the central fountain to Noob Noms materialized, tables, expanded in every direction, glowing briefly as they filled with food, weeks of skill grinding, weeks of nightly cooking, feast for thousands of unfillable bellies.
SisterQuery and Grimmblade pressed their way through the crowd to Noobkitty and .ex.
“Wow. I’m starting to feel like I missed out by not watching the streams,” Grimmblade said.
“This is huge. Do you think it’s enough?” SisterQuery asked.
Noobkitty sighed. “Numbers are important, but we still have to face the Ender. I already asked.”
The crowd parted, revealing a ridiculous sight.
Eight players carried a platform, a palanquin draped in multicolored fabric. Standing atop it in fully dyed, sparkling enchanted starter gear was Fizzypop.
“Friends, gamers, gourmands, and stalkers! Welcome to the feast made by our very own Noobkitty. Save Coro?en or see its end, either way you will have the delicacies of a genius on your tongue!”
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They stepped forward as the carriers lowered the palanquin. “Tonight we feast! And a world-destroying dragon will die!”
“They definitely made an entrance,” Skidmark muttered at Noobkitty’s side.
Noobkitty glanced at him. “I expected you to do an entrance.”
“I… I can’t be there for the fight. It’s family game night,” Skidmark admitted, downcast.
“Wait, what?” .ex asked, panicked. “No, you have to be there… Noobkitty, can you do it without him? No… no, I can’t lose everything again, I....”
Noobkitty held her and looked her in the eye. “I got this. Don’t worry.” Then she turned to Skidmark. “Enjoy yourself, Skidmark. I’ll take care of it.”
She pulled up her messaging index and typed:
---
Message Sent
Dear Skidmark’s Prime Moms,
We need him to help save the world and, well… me and my fiancée’s life. Can you please reschedule your family game night so we can borrow him?
– From Noobkitty
Reply Received
Dear Skidmark’s in-game mom,
Of course you can borrow him! We’ll let him off the hook for losing to us and skipping chores tonight. Tomorrow though, he’s going to be in Dance Revolution hell. Mwahaha!
– From Prime Moms ??
---
“All set. We get to keep our rogue,” Noobkitty said.
.ex and Skidmark looked stunned.
“What?” she asked. “You both know Skidmark told me to talk to his Moms. They’re cool. After we save Coro?en, they plan to visit us in person.”
Skidmark’s ears perked. “Wait, they’re coming to my training world?”
Noobkitty nodded, a playful smile on her face.
“Well now I really need to save the world. My Moms are coming! Will they be invited to your wedding? Maybe I could get a +2? Can I test the cakes with you?”
.ex’s ears shot upright as the news spilled out in front of the party and thousands of players.
SisterQuery crossed her arms, trying to hide a smile. “Good. I’m tired of being in a house with sinners. The least you two can do is get married.”
Grimmblade gently tapped her shoulder. “Congratulations, you two. The world we save today will be better with you in it.”
Fizzypop tapped their foot, arms crossed. “Excuse me, I was in the middle of a speech.”
.ex laughed. “Sorry, we were going to tell people afterwards.”
“Whatever. Just know I’m going to review the hell out of your wedding banquet. Speaking of food, there are a thousand players here waiting for permission to eat your weird snacks.”
“We have one more guest on his way, then we can start. Everyone remember what you’re supposed to eat first?”
The party nodded. Skidmark pulled out a note card:
1. Apocalypse Burger Lv100
2. Cooling Cream Puff Lv54
3. Xtra Spicy Pepper Cookie Lv100
4. Mana Bar Lv85
5. Health Bar Lv85
“All right. I had a proper breakfast. What sort of rabbit food are you feeding these people?” Grizzlebeard called from atop a yak-pulled cart.
GYOAT happily hauled the cart full of ale barrels, while players tapped them and petted the yak, praising him as “the greatest.”
GYOAT: ???????
Noobkitty petted him. “Of course we have pies for you too. But do you remember what I want you to eat with the pies?”
GYOAT: ??????????????
.ex laughed. “That’s why you’re the greatest.” She unhitched him and let the players handle the drinks. The reason for GYOAT's menu was so if thing went wrong and the party needed more time GYOAT wouldn't be killed by a fire blast and could recover 50% health and mana per minute.
Turning to Grizzlebeard, she asked, “How was your stew?”
“Glazed beef with poached eggs and saffron wild rice,” Grizzlebeard said proudly.
Everyone stared in shock.
“Lv. 24 cooking,” he added with a smirk.
“Um… hey .ex, how about a date? If Grizzlebeard’s willing to cook us rabbit food…” Noobkitty teased.
“I can manage frying potatoes, mushrooms, and cauliflower, I guess,” Grizzlebeard said, pretending to sulk.
“Sweetness, let’s not die today, then we can plan our date,” .ex said back playfully. They were both hiding their nerves with flirting and jokes.
“Seriously, good thing there’s drink now, but these people are about to riot,” Fizzypop reminded, bringing them back to the moment.
“Oh yeah…” Noobkitty switched out of flirting-with-future-wife mode into save-the-world-with-food mode. She stood tall, cleared her throat, and shouted:
“I don’t have a speech! The world has enough eyes on it to keep it alive. But the admins set the self-destruct months ago. Through game logic, we can save this world and rebuild it, better than it was! The world is on our side! Our only enemy now is the End…er!”
The crowd erupted. Cries of “No Ender for Coro?en!” and “Make Coro?en weird!” rang out. None had viral potential, but that was fine.
Noobkitty sat down and took the first ceremonial bite of her Apocalypse Burger.
The feast began. Players ate and drank, and occasionally Noobkitty checked the in-game clock. Two and a half hours left. The distant sounds of forest tearing and breaking began to echo.
But then, closer, crashing. Animal screams. Howls.
Grimmblade’s eyes widened.
“Oh… shops…” he swore.
Everyone turned to him.
“What the fluff is going on, big boy?” Fizzypop asked.
“I forgot,” Grimmblade said, dawning horror on his face.
“Forgot what, my knight?” SisterQuery asked.
There was a pause. It felt dramatic, but really he was just searching for the word.
“…Mob Rush."
