"Why?" groaned Noobkitty.
"I am still determining what kind of world this should be, so I am experimenting with new features," said Coro?en.
"But why this one, and why me?" she complained, thumping her forehead against the wooden countertop.
"Hangovers are part of the human experience, and my Administrator volunteered you to be my test subject."
"Shouldn't I have to consent to something like that?" Noobkitty’s ears twitched irritably just as ExpertBunny walked into the lobby of the shop.
"Shouldn't your Manager and future wife need to consent to most of our savings being spent on a farm that we don't even own?" ExpertBunny asked, nibbling on a piece of avocado toast sprinkled with dried dandelion petals.
"I was excited, and drunk, and making a friend, and... AND! It was for the animals!" Noobkitty clarified defensively.
"Who weren’t even self-aware yet. But yes, we knew you’d eventually do something like this. That’s why we had those semi-awakened farm animals ready. You’re welcome."
Noobkitty managed a small, pained smile for her fiancée. "Thank you. You’re too sweet to me. Now... about this hangover?"
The front door chime rang, a sound that felt like a needle to Noobkitty's brain as a cow tried to squeeze her way into the shop. A frantic clomping of trotters echoed on the wooden floor. Perched on the cow’s back were two clucking hens, seemingly trying to navigate the beast and the cart she was pulling through the narrow frame.
A familiar voice drifted in from the street: "I told you ladies, we should leave the cart outside!"
Noobkitty tried to bury her face into the wood of the counter to muffle the noise, but the world wouldn't stop vibrating. Eventually, after some structural damage that Noobkitty would later have to fix with her Mend skill, the cart made it inside.
Noobkitty scowled at HnyThsl. "Why isn't she hung over?"
"She didn't drink as much as you did. Also, she logged out and logged back in," Coro?en clarified helpfully.
"Then this 'Hangover' feature only affects Downloads and Awakened AI! It’s not a player feature to test, then, it’s just a punishment for me!" Noobkitty hissed.
"I am still assessing the applications of this feature," Coro?en stated.
HnyThsl covered her muzzle to stifle a laugh. "Rough morning?"
"She’s recovering from yesterday," ExpertBunny answered for her. "How may we help you?"
"The animals want... stuff. But I don’t have much money yet," the Kelf woman said sheepishly. "We were hoping we could sell you some products."
"I’m not cooking with eggs and milk," grumbled Noobkitty.
"I was afraid of that. But the animals don't want to sell to Grizzlebeard because he’d want to buy meat, and well... who wants to respawn for someone’s dinner?"
The hen clucked in agreement, and the cow, Ellen, nodded firmly.
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"I think I have a sign that says 'Vegan Food' around here somewhere," Noobkitty muttered, looking around but giving up, moving her head just wasn't worth the agony. "You could open your own shop."
"I don't have enough time for that; I have a life in the Prime World, too," said HnyThsl.
Noobkitty looked up at her. "How is the Prime World?"
"Um... it makes me thankful I can escape to Coro?en," the woman admitted.
"What kind of stuff do the animals want?" ExpertBunny asked, leaning on the counter.
"Beds, magical lanterns they can turn on and off, enchanted music players... I need to find a crafter who can work with wool to make blankets and pillows. I could keep going," said HnyThsl. The chicken nodded, but the cow mooed loudly. "Oh, and vegan snacks."
"We can just give them snacks," Noobkitty offered.
At that moment, a deer and two raccoons emerged from the kitchen carrying warm trays to restock the display case. The deer nudged Noobkitty out of the way to reach the shelves.
"See? You already employ animals," HnyThsl pointed out. "What’s wrong with selling what the animals produce?"
"Cow milk is for baby cows, and chickens should eat their own eggs to restore nutrients," Noobkitty said, desperately toeing her moral line.
"But my Pastoral Arts skill causes Ellen here to make far more than her calf needs. And the chicken said muffins taste better than eggs."
ExpertBunny thumped her fiancée on the head. It was a light tap, but to the hung-over cat, it felt like a hammer blow. "You’re being stubborn and silly. It’s cute that you worry about exploitation, but this isn't your old world."
ExpertBunny gestured to HnyThsl. "She is literally able to talk with them. They have representation and a voice in negotiation. Are you going to deny them their right to work? To earn the luxuries they want? Are you going to refuse to trade just because they’re animals?"
Noobkitty winced. It did feel a bit speciesist to deny a chicken the right to trade an egg for a muffin. Her morals had been stuck in a gray area ever since GYOAT started giving yak rides.
To drive the point home, Nibs the rat climbed up her back and sat atop her head. He squeaked, and the cow, clearly excited, pulled a basket from the cart containing a bottle of milk, a few eggs, and a wad of wool. She placed it on the counter. Nibs reached down and curiously examined one of the eggs.
"I'm still not using eggs in my cooking," Noobkitty muttered to Nibs. She looked at EB. "Fine. What’s your idea, Manager?"
"Consignment shelves," ExpertBunny said smoothly. "We keep their inventory on hand for customers to buy and we take a twenty percent commission."
"No commission!" griped Noobkitty, her head still pounding.
"Twenty percent until the loan HnyThsl took is paid off, then ten percent after that," EB negotiated.
"Um, let me talk with the girls. I’m pretty sure they’ll agree to that," HnyThsl interrupted.
Noobkitty watched, still mildly jealous that HnyThsl could actually understand the moos and clucks. The conversation shifted, and then ExpertBunny turned to the Kelf. "I don't know... I know Noobkitty would agree instantly, but it’s a bad way to do business."
HnyThsl put her hands together. "Please, just add it to my loan if you need."
"And what’s to stop you from never logging in again? Then we’re out our savings."
"What if the pig and some of the sheep helped around the shop like the forest animals do?" HnyThsl offered.
Nibs squeaked in agreement. ExpertBunny considered, then nodded. "We’re going to be gone for about a week in a few days. It would be a great help if the store could be fully staffed while we’re away. There’s a base pay and sales commission; Nibs will be the Manager while we're gone."
The chicken clucked and the cow hopped excitedly, the heavy thuds of her hooves vibrating through Noobkitty’s skull.
"Well, you heard them. Get to carving, sweetie," said ExpertBunny.
Noobkitty’s ears twitched, completely lost. "Carving?"
"Yes. We need a display shelf. And how many bed frames?"
"Two extra-large, six medium, and a dozen small, please," HnyThsl listed. "We’ll fill them with wool and hay until I find a crafter who can work with felt."
Noobkitty sighed. That was a lot of wood and her Woodworking skill was only Level 10. "Fine," she groaned, wondering for the first time if she was actually the animal being exploited here.
"And give them some pocket money," ExpertBunny concluded. "There’s a calf and some lambs that need balls to play with. Nibs!"
Nibs was already directing the raccoons to fill a basket with fresh snacks. The basket was loaded onto the cart, and the cart was emptied of its goods, milk, eggs, wool, and even feathers. The cow excitedly tried to back the cart out through the door.
Noobkitty was thankful for her Mending ability as the doorframe groaned again. One of the chickens stayed behind, ready to get baking lessons from Nibs.
"Carving," Noobkitty repeated to herself.
"By tomorrow evening, you'll probably have leveled up your carpenter skill again," EB encouraged.
"Can you at least get Coro?en to turn off the hangover first?"

