The prep room door hissed shut behind her.

  Silence.

  The kind that had weight. That pressed against eardrums and made breathing loud.

  Beatrix leaned against the doorframe. Her legs didn't want to hold her. She locked her knees, forced them straight. Everything hurt wrong. Bones ached where they'd compressed back into human shape. Her skin felt too tight across her shoulders, like it had been stitched onto a frame that had outgrown it.

  Sand gritted between her teeth. Kuzima's blood dried on her neck.

  Rain stood in the middle of the room, looking at the table next to him. His shoulders were rigid. Holographic displays floated on his datapad, biometric data from the fight, spiking lines and numbers that probably meant something terrible.

  Kivi sat on a workbench, hands on her face. Her hair cycled through colors too fast to track. Bodhi stood in the corner, arms crossed. Face like stone.

  Nobody looked at her.

  The silence stretched. Thirty seconds. A minute.

  Then Rain's hands slammed down on the table.

  "What the FUCK was that?"

  Beatrix pushed off the doorframe. Walked to the equipment bench. Her right leg nearly buckled. She ignored it.

  "I won."

  Rain spun around. His face was pale. Eyes too wide.

  "You won." His laugh was sharp. Broken. "You ."

  He grabbed something that seemed like a control pad and threw it across the room. It hit the wall. Shattered.

  Kivi flinched. "Rain…"

  "She TAPPED!" Rain's voice cracked. "She was on the ground. She was screaming submission into every mic in the arena. And you…"

  "She was still moving." Beatrix pulled at her chest plate strap. Her fingers were shaking. Clumsy. "Threat wasn't neutralized."

  "She was CRAWLING." Rain moved toward her. Fast. Kivi slid off the bench, putting herself between them. "Her armor was cracked. Her arm was broken. She couldn't even stand. And you picked her up by the throat."

  "Rain, stop." Kivi's hands came up.

  "You threw her into a wall!" Rain's voice went higher. "After the tap! After the fight was over! You were going to kill her!"

  "I stopped."

  "WHEN?" Rain tried to push past Kivi. She held her ground. "When, Beatrix? When did you choose to stop? Because I was in your systems and I saw the command log. I saw you choose 'More.' I saw you override the threat assessment. I saw…"

  Beatrix's hands clenched. Pain shot through her right palm. Muscle cramp. She forced her fingers open. "YOU left her the Dislocator. You made the call to cripple it instead of taking it out completely. You wanted the fight to last. This is on you too."

  It was a low blow. A lie. She knew it. Said it anyway.

  Rain's face went white. "Wha… I was trying to give you an edge. She was going to shatter your spine with that thing. My job is to keep your systems running, not…"

  "Not what?" Beatrix moved closer. Kivi's hand came up against her chest. She ignored it. "Not let me fight my way? Not trust me to make my own calls?"

  "Trust you?" Rain's voice dropped. Beatrix hated that. "Your heart stopped, B. For three seconds. Right here." He pulled up a holographic display with shaking hands. A flat line. "Three seconds of nothing. What's my job when you're the one trying to kill you?"

  "I'm fine."

  "You are NOT FINE!" Rain grabbed another tablet. Thrust it at her face. Biometric scans. Red everywhere. "Look at this! LOOK AT IT!"

  Beatrix slapped it away.

  The tablet hit the floor. Screen cracked. The hologram kept projecting from the broken glass. Cellular degradation blooming across her body map like black mold.

  "I won," Beatrix said. Her voice was steady. Her hands weren't. "That's the outcome. That's the only thing that matters. I'm in the final. Do you understand what that means?"

  "It means you're one step closer to dying in that ring!"

  "Rain, please…" Kivi tried again.

  "I watched the feed from inside the Protocol!" Rain was shaking. "It offered you a choice. It showed you the price. 4.7 years. And you said yes. You bargained with it like… like…"

  "Like I knew what I was doing." Beatrix's right hand cramped again. Harder. Her fingers locked up. She hid it behind her back. "Like I understood the cost and chose anyway."

  "Chose to what?" Rain's hands went to his hair. Gripped. "To prove a point? She called you small so you turned into a monster?"

  The word hung there.

  Monster.

  Beatrix felt something cold spread through her chest.

  "You don't get it." Her voice came out quiet. Venomous. "You’ll never understand it. You don't know what it costs to stop being nothing."

  "So this is worth it?" Rain gestured at her. At the way she was standing. The tremor in her legs. The blood on her neck. "This is your price? Becoming exactly what she called you?"

  "I'm not…"

  "You ARE!" Rain slammed his hand on the console. A display flickered. "You became a monster! I watched you! Everyone watched you! And you chose it!"

  "I chose to WIN!"

  "By DYING!" Rain's voice broke completely. "Your cellular structure is breaking down! Your bones have microfractures! Your heart STOPPED! You can barely stand right now and you're pretending you're fine!"

  Beatrix's left leg gave out.

  She caught herself on the bench. Forced herself upright.

  Rain saw it. His expression crumpled.

  "Beatrix, sit down," Kivi said quietly. "Please just…"

  "I'm fine."

  "You're not fine!" Kivi's hair flashed red. "Look at you! You can't even stand without shaking!"

  "I said I'm FINE!" Beatrix's voice went raw. "I won the fight. I'm in the final. Everything is going according to plan."

  "What plan?" Rain's hands were shaking. "The plan where you kill yourself to prove you're not small? That plan?"

  "The plan where Dante lives." Beatrix met his eyes. "Remember him? My brother? The reason I'm doing this?"

  Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

  "Don't." Rain's voice was low. Dangerous. "Don't hide behind Dante. This stopped being about him the second you chose to keep beating Kuzima after the tap. That was about you. About what she said. About…"

  "She called me trash!" The words tore out of Beatrix. "In front of thirty thousand people. On every feed. She looked at me like I was nothing and said I was dirt and dumb and small. And you want me to just accept that?"

  "I want you to survive!" Rain was shouting again. "I want you to make it to tomorrow without your body falling apart! I want…"

  "You want me to be less!" Beatrix pushed off the bench. Moved toward him. "You want me to stay in my lane. Fight safe. Be grateful for whatever scraps—"

  "I want you to STOP DESTROYING YOURSELF!" Rain's voice cracked. "Is that so fucking unreasonable?"

  "Yes!" Beatrix's right hand was still cramped. She pulled it from behind her back. Showed him the twisted fingers. "This is what it takes! This is the cost! And I'll pay it!"

  Rain stared at her hand. At the cramped fingers. At the evidence of cellular damage she couldn't hide anymore.

  His face went very still.

  "I can't do this." His voice was flat now. Dead. "I can't watch this."

  He turned to the console. Started disconnecting equipment.

  "What are you doing?" Beatrix's voice came out wrong. Too high.

  "My job. One last time." Rain pulled cables from ports. Each one a decisive snap. "I'm installing the safety limiters. For the final. Hard cap at 85% stress response. No more Hulk Mode."

  "You can't…"

  "I can." Rain didn't look at her. "And I will. Because letting you become that thing again isn't protection. It's malpractice."

  Panic spiked through Beatrix. Cold and sharp.

  "Rain, wait…" Kivi started.

  "No." Rain kept working. "I should have done this after the Kuzima fight. Should have done it before. But I kept thinking she'd see reason. That she'd…" His hands stilled. "But she won't. So I have to."

  "You can't make that choice for me." Beatrix moved closer. Her legs protested. She ignored them. "It's my body. My fight."

  "And you've shown you can't be trusted with it." Rain pulled another cable. "So I'm making the choice. For both of us."

  He was leaving. Really leaving. The one person who'd seen her broken and tried to help instead of running.

  "Charon." Beatrix kept her voice steady. "You saw what he did to Kane. Three minutes. Total domination. Standard protocols won't work against him. I need the edge."

  "The edge is suicide." Rain collapsed another holographic display. Started packing equipment into cases. "And I won't help you with it."

  "So you'll help me lose? Help me fail?"

  "I'll help you survive." Rain finally looked at her. "That's all I can do now."

  "That's not enough!"

  "It's all I have left to give!"

  Kivi stepped between them again. "Stop. Both of you. Just… stop."

  "Stay out of this, Kiv…" Rain started.

  "No." Kivi's hair went bright angry red. "You're both being idiots. Rain, you can't just install limiters without her consent. That's not…"

  "Watch me."

  "I won’t. You do that and I’ll slap you. And Beatrix…" Kivi turned. "You can barely stand. Your hand is locked up. You're pretending you're fine when everyone can see you're falling apart."

  "I'm managing it."

  "You're not!" Kivi's voice rose. "You're ignoring it! There's a difference!"

  "Then what do you want me to do?" Beatrix's voice cracked. "I can’t give up! Let Dante die because I can't handle a little pain?"

  "A little…" Kivi stopped. Took a breath. Her hair cycled yellow. Trying to calm down. "Beatrix. Listen to yourself. Your heart stopped. That's not 'a little pain.' That's dying."

  "But I didn't die."

  "YET!" Rain slammed a case shut. "You didn't die yet! But the next transformation will kill you! The medical data is clear!"

  "Then I'll make it count!"

  Rain froze. Turned slowly.

  "What did you say?"

  Beatrix's throat was tight. "I said I'll make it count. One more transformation. One more fight. That's all I need."

  Rain's expression did something complicated. Collapsed inward.

  "You've already decided." His voice was hollow. "You're going to do it. Use this Mode in the final. Even knowing it will probably kill you."

  "If that's what it takes…"

  "It's suicide." Rain's hands went to his face. "You're planning your own suicide and asking me to help."

  "I'm planning to WIN…"

  "They're the same thing now!" Rain's hands dropped. His eyes were wet. "Can't you see that? Can't you see what you're doing?"

  Beatrix opened her mouth.

  Her left leg buckled completely.

  She went down hard. Caught herself on the bench with both hands. The cramped right hand screamed. She gasped.

  Kivi was there instantly. Hands on her shoulders. "Beatrix…"

  "I'm fine." Beatrix tried to stand. Couldn't. "I'm fine, I just…"

  "You're not fine!" Kivi's voice broke. "Please. Please just admit you're not fine."

  Beatrix looked up. Saw Rain staring at her. At the way her legs wouldn't hold her. At the cramped hand. At the tremors she couldn't control.

  Saw him seeing her.

  All of her. The damage. The denial. The desperation.

  "I can't do this alone," she whispered.

  It wasn't manipulation this time. Wasn't a weapon. Just truth. Raw and terrified.

  Rain's expression cracked. For a moment, she thought she'd reached him.

  Then his face hardened.

  "Then don't do it at all." His voice was flat. "Don’t use the Mode. We'll find another way."

  "There is no other way."

  "There has to be."

  "There isn't!" Beatrix tried to stand again. Kivi helped her. Supported her weight. "You think I haven't looked? You think I haven't spent every moment trying to find a solution that doesn't end with me in pieces?"

  "Then maybe…" Rain's voice caught. "Maybe that's your answer. Maybe there is no solution."

  "And Dante dies."

  "Dante dies anyway if you're dead!"

  The words hit like a punch.

  Beatrix stared at him. "What?"

  "You heard me." Rain's voice was shaking. "You set it up so he gets the money if you die. Sure. Fine. But what about after? When the money runs out? When he needs someone and you're not there? When he's alone because his sister killed herself to prove a point?"

  "That's not…"

  "That's exactly what this is!" Rain grabbed his equipment case. "You're so focused on the win, on not being small, that you can't see you're about to make yourself the smallest thing of all. Nothing. Gone. Dead."

  Beatrix's throat closed up.

  Rain moved toward the door.

  "Rain, don't…" Kivi started.

  "I'm done." Rain didn't stop. "I can't watch this. I won't enable it."

  Beatrix pulled away from Kivi. Stumbled after him. "Wait…"

  Rain stopped. Didn't turn around.

  Beatrix closed the distance. Her legs nearly gave out twice. She caught herself. Got close enough to touch his arm.

  He went very still.

  "Please." Her voice was barely audible. "I need you."

  Rain's shoulders tensed. "Don't."

  "Rain…" She moved closer. Close enough to feel the heat from him. "Please. We're a team. You and me. We work."

  "Stop." Rain's voice was tight.

  "We do. You know we do." She let her hand slide down his arm slightly. "Just one more fight. Help me with one more fight."

  Rain turned slowly.

  His eyes searched her face. Saw something there that made his expression shutter.

  "You're doing it again." His voice was dead. "The performance. Like before the Kuzima fight. Getting close. Making it intimate. Using whatever works."

  "I'm not…"

  "You are." Rain removed her hand. Gently. Firmly. "And I'm not falling for it twice."

  He stepped back. The distance between them felt infinite.

  "I've been here before, B." His voice cracked. "With someone who thought the win was worth any price. I stayed. I helped. I watched her pay it." He picked up his case. "I can't sign on for that again. Not even for you."

  He walked to the door.

  Beatrix reached for him. "Rain…"

  The door opened.

  "I'm sorry," he said without turning.

  Then he was gone.

  Beatrix stood there. Hand still extended. Legs shaking. Body failing.

  The silence that followed was crushing.

  Kivi made a small sound. Beatrix turned. Her hair had gone pale blue. Sad. Her hands were clenched at her sides.

  "That was low," Kivi said quietly. "Doing that thing."

  "I didn't…"

  "You did." Kivi's voice wasn't angry. Just... disappointed. "I watched you. The touch. The voice. You went right for what you knew would hurt him most."

  "I was trying to make him stay…"

  "You are not like that. So don’t do it again. Ever." Kivi shook her head. "I introduced you two. I thought you'd be good for each other. Thought maybe..." She trailed off. "But not like this."

  "Kivi, please…"

  "I can't watch this anymore." Kivi gathered her equipment. "I can't watch you hurt yourself. And I can't watch you hurt him trying to make him help you do it."

  "So you're leaving too." Not a question. Just recognition.

  "For now." Kivi slung her pack over her shoulder. "I need time to think."

  She walked to the door. Stopped. Turned back.

  "For what it's worth?" Her voice was soft. "I think you could beat Charon. I think you and Virgil are good enough. But you don't believe that. And that's why you're going to kill yourself trying to prove it."

  The door closed behind her.

  Then it was just Beatrix and Bodhi.

  The old fighter hadn't moved from his corner. Just watched. Taking it all in.

  Beatrix's legs finally gave out completely. She sank onto the bench. Her whole body shook.

  "You should go too," she said. Her voice was hollow. "Everyone else is."

  Bodhi pushed off the wall. Walked over. Sat down next to her.

  "Nah, kid."

  "Why?" Beatrix looked at him. At his scarred face and prosthetic hand and steady eyes. "You saw what I did. What I am. Why stay?"

  Bodhi was quiet for a long moment.

  "Every fighter I ever saw walk this path," he said finally. "The win-at-all-costs path. They all ended up alone. Pushed everyone away who tried to tell them to slow down. To stop." He looked at her. "Figured you could use someone who won't leave even when you push."

  Something broke in Beatrix's chest.

  Not dramatically. Just... quietly. Like ice cracking.

  "I don't know how to stop," she whispered.

  "I know, kid."

  Bodhi didn't offer solutions. Didn't tell her what to do. Just sat there.

  Beatrix curled forward. Put her face in her hands. Her cramped right hand screamed. She didn't care.

  The tremors got worse. Her whole body shaking. Not from transformation anymore. Just from everything.

  Bodhi put a hand on her shoulder. His prosthetic one. Cool metal against her too-hot skin.

  "It's okay, kid."

  It wasn't. Nothing was okay.

  Everyone was gone. Rain. Kivi. The team she'd built.

  Her body was breaking down. Her brother was dying. And tomorrow she'd face Charon.

  And she'd probably die doing it.

  The broken tablet still glowed on the floor where she'd knocked it. The holographic projection showing cellular damage. Showing the cost.

  Showing the monster.

  She didn't look away.

  "Get some rest," Bodhi said finally. "You're going to need it."

  Beatrix didn't respond. Just sat there. Shaking. Breaking. Alone except for one scarred old fighter who'd seen this ending before.