"That'll be $27:96."

  I pay the cashier and grab my bag of goodies. I'm down to my last few dollars again. Being an up and coming “Rudetuber” isn't easy. I'll make it some day, surely. It always works out for folks like me.

  "Have a nice day. And thank you for shopping at Baldi's." The cashier seems nice. I can still tell, through her fake smile, that she isn't having a good day, even though she is good at hiding it. I can always tell. I have a mask of my own of course. A fake smile I wear when in public so no one can see my pain and ask me questions about it. I think we all have one, and we can all tell that we have one, regardless of our skill or experience in hiding it.

  "Have a good one.” I respond to her and leave.

  It's a mile walk back to my house from here, so I crack open one of the sodas I bought and start drinking it.

  Off brand lemon-lime soda, and unspecified energy drinks of the perfect kidney destroying quality, along with jerky and snacks. That's what I got. I shouldn't have gotten them. That's not even food. Not really.

  On my way out I spot a cute puppy in a cart being pushed by some rando. I can't help but pet the little cutie. It's a Maltese I think, with a pink bowtie to keep the fur out of her eyes.

  So sweet

  Huh? I thought I heard a voice.. must be my imagination.

  “Who's a good doggie? You are.” Her coat is shiny and perfectly soft. She must be well taken care of. Her owner is good to her, then. I'm not petting him though.

  Once out of the parking lot, on my way home, my mind wanders.

  Did I really hear a voice?

  No, I was just imagining it. My thoughts tend to rattle on sometimes, and I think I hear something. It's like hearing a phone ringing in the distance when you're expecting a call. I'm pretty sure that's normal. Right?

  HHHOOONNNKKK!

  I hear that noise and snap back to reality. A large truck is speeding down the road straight towards me. I'm not sure if I can react in time, but I force my body to move anyway.

  After I jump back onto the sidewalk, startled, a blast of wind slaps me across the face.

  Holy shit.

  I almost got myself Isekaid. Damn Truck-kun, always acting a fool, trying to kill people. What's his problem anyway?

  AlmOoost

  Hm? There's that voice again. Actually it's slightly different from before. It sounds like it's coming from above me this time, and it's almost ethereal. The voice echoes as well, slightly, as if it's coming from down a hallway.

  Maybe I am about to get isekaid? Oh well there's nothing I can do about it, I'll just ignore it.

  Just then, random-guy-with-knife-sama jumps out the bushes and starts swinging his large knife through the air!

  What a terrifying image!

  It almost looks like he's swatting at bees or something… wait. He is. That's just a random landscaper who stumbled into a bees nest and started freaking out. He needs to be careful with that thing.

  Alright then, that's weird.

  The Gods of isekai, or whatever, must be teasing me. Tease if you must Gods, I care not for you petty squabbling. Next thing you know there'll be Crazed-gunman-kun, for the American folk, tainted-turnip-chan, for the Russians, or Mile-Long-Meteor-sensei crashing into earth to isekai all of us at once. Just so they can be done with it all, ya’know. Wouldn't that be something? I'd watch that anime.

  Now, I'm back at home safe and sound, but a little bit shaken. Immediately, I'm greeted by the soft pitter patter of puppy feet as my dog Cody, a golden retriever, is barreling towards me. Her tail violently slaps each and everything in her path until she reaches me and does her adorable doggy dance.

  "Well hello there beautiful. Are you happy to see me?"

  She hops a little with just her front paws and sniffs the bag I'm holding, expecting something from it.

  "Oh, I see. You just want what's in here, huh? You want some TREATS!?"

  Her happy doggy dance speeds up as she lets out a cute little “bork!”, as if to say yes. I pull out some low sodium jerky and hand her a few pieces. When she takes off down the hall with her treats, I follow behind her.

  So cute

  Dammit, again. I ignore it still, and move on. I hope that doesn't become a regular occurrence. Whether that's a god talking or my own imagination, it's still annoying regardless.

  Ah yes, my favorite game to break, The Slopening 3. The Slopening 2 was a bit of a disappointment after the first, but this one is a return to form. The form of slop of course.

  I'm about to finish filling my coffers with an infinite money glitch. This game's programming is easily exploited. It's one of those games where lines of commands have separate time signatures on separate lines in the code. With frame perfect timing I can double sell items to the shopkeeper who, of course, has unlimited gold.

  Basically, I sell it a second time before the game has time to register the first sale. Then I buy it back and double sell it again. Fun times.

  This is after I already used an item duplication glitch to get way more items than I should have access too. That one is also a pretty standard glitch. It became redundant after I found the double sell glitch, but it makes things faster so I still use it.

  This novel's true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.

  Stand next to the exit in a town, drop all your shit on the ground, have your companion pick it up, leave, and fast travel back. Your stuff is still there. Then drop and pick up again, leave and fast travel back, now there's three of everything. Repeat; 4 then 5, then 6, etc. You get the drill. I don't know how that happens, usually it's more complicated than that but not in this game. The programmers must've really messed up.

  Once I got enough gold and bought all the overpowered items I wanted, effectively turning my character into a god, I leaned back into my chair, content.

  “Time to eat.”

  After mumbling that to no one, I start shoving handfuls of Flaming Hot Cheapo's into my mouth while lazily petting my pretty doggo laying in her bed next to my chair. I wash it all down with the ultimate gamer fuel Red Balls.

  Be careful

  It's the best gamer fuel, fight me. Who even are you, the drink police, the God of Gamer Fuel? Whoever you are, stop talking, I'm trying to focus.

  "You're a sweet baby, huh. A sweet little doggy dog."

  “bork!”

  I call her little but she's full grown, about 75 lbs.

  Alright then, back to my game of exploiting and beating up random civilians and guards. I dropped a quick save so I won't ruin my save file, I'm just testing my newfound, godlike strength. This is to make videos and post them online. Sometimes it's not as fun as it used to be, like it's more of a job than anything else.

  You're so close

  What? Through this dizziness coming on I can barely hear that voice. Is that the Isekai God again?

  Ugh! There's a searing pain I'm my neck and left shoulder! It feels like something is stabbing me, or cutting me open from neck to groin. My chest is throbbing and throbbing, it keeps going, taking my breath away. What's worse, somehow, is the pulsing in my head. With each beat of my heart the world itself shakes, twists, and bends, as if my blood pressure is so high that the muscles around my eyes are being over-filled. With every beat of my searing heart, my eyes themselves are being crushed and squeezed, turning the world before me into a tapestry of distorted agony.

  Why? What is happening? What's the reason for this?

  The pain seems to be fading slightly, thankfully. Not completely, but enough to not be so debilitating. What a horrifying feeling that was, plus the world was so twisted. I'm pretty sure that's a sign of a heart attack. Heart problems don't run in my family though. That can't be it. Maybe I got too excited? I don't know.

  Oh well, probably just gaming too hard. I don't know how long I've been playing because it always feels like forever when I exploit games like this.

  I keep playing through the pain, smacking down random fools like it's my job, still testing the limits of my power. I'll stop once I've done so.

  "This isn't even my final form, you fools!"

  I obliterated the poor blacksmith that was giving me the stink eye. He wasn't really though.

  SLAM!

  My head hits the keyboard and I'm out like a light.

  What? Green letters? I… I don't know what this is. I'm inside of a void it seems, one that must be infinite. A black abyss that is entirely empty except for one thing I can't explain. Green.

  Green letters, numbers and symbols, flowing, or perhaps scrolling, upward. Game code? That can't be it. Actual code isn't green like that unless you make it that way on purpose. It's definitely code of some kind, though. Only a few of the lines can be read as they fly by so quickly.

  enterthevoid Start.

  {

  if (input death(createlife.W))

  dir = vector2.rise;

  if (halt exploit(becomeGod.A))

  dir = vector2.Ascend;

  GameEploiter.enter(Another World)

  }

  I don't understand. It's all moving so fast. Did that say become God? What does that mean? Where am I? Am I falling into a game, or hallucinating game code?

  Speaking of games, I imagine my character is running around in circles from my hand pressed firmly to the movement keys.

  I'm not sure though.

  I simply lost consciousness and jolted awake in a weird place with way too many bright lights. Lights that are… fading, and quickly, being replaced by a blast of much brighter white lights.

  "What the fuck?"

  I rub my eyes in an attempt to make them adjust faster, and open them again.

  "I see you're awake now, how do you feel Mr. Smith? Do you feel any pain?”

  "Oh my god! Who are you?.... What are you?"

  Now that my eyes have adjusted a bit, I can see the person... no... thing that's in the room, in front of me. She must have been the one talking to me before. Although, she sounds different now. Her voice is more cutesy and soft, like the famous voice actor Brianna Bipandbopper, or Skipandhopper, or Sliporflopper, or whatever her name is. If I had to describe her appearance I'd say; God

  Her eyes are the first thing I notice. They glow like silver-white lights. They're bright even among the spinning lights in this uh… room. A room with its own lights that are ring shaped and hanging on invisible walls, slowly moving and twisting around us, suspended in mid air with what looks to be nothing behind them.

  The irises of this… uh… God’s eyes though, are much brighter and they seem to be spinning too. Also, now that I look closer, they seem to be multiple colors, but also not, at the same time. They're like a visual contradiction with their luminous and varied colors both blended and unblended, both mixed and separate, both existing and not existing. It almost hurts to look at them, my eyes and mind can't comprehend them, and yet, they are also soothing and soft. An additional contradiction then, but this one is far more welcome.

  “Are you okay Mr. Smith?” I can barely hear those words, but can't respond yet. I'm too entranced by her.

  Her hair is a deep silver-gray, causally flowing in various directions as if there's a slight breeze drifting towards her from all sides simultaneously. It's like some sort of non-newtonian fluid consisting of a great many strands that seem far too numerous for her head. I can't tell where some hair strands end and others begin. It looks almost like “AI slop”, come to life, but somehow beautiful rather than skin crawlingly unnatural. I've always thought that the weird skin-walker vibe of AI generated art would make for a decent horror movie monster, but I suppose the transcendental version of that can give form and flesh to incomprehension in a way that it creates its own beauty outside of the mind.

  “That's fine, I'll wait.” Sorry miss. What even are you?

  Your skin... wow. How did I miss that before? Beneath her pale skin are different colors, like a rainbow in water and oil flowing in the sunlight. They keep churning and drifting just under her skin but never mixing together. Vibrant bands of beautiful colors only deepened by the pale, almost translucent skin that covers them. Her body is mostly hidden behind a flowing, almost living, white robe. A robe that, just like her hair, seems to be moving of its own volition twisting itself into its own contradiction. Whilst the luminous colors of her skin beneath can barely be seen, giving her entire form an unnerving glow that lifts and grips the heart.

  "Are you aware of what just happened to you Mr. Smith?”

  I snap back to reality, and close my mouth that I didn't realize was open this whole time. I can't help but be entranced by her voice, her looks and her presence. Her voice is commanding yet subtle, soft, sultry and elegant. I don't just hear her voice, but feel it, all throughout my body and soul. A calming symphony of sweet and serene tones for the heart and mind. Yet, it's also commanding. A commanded calm that causes her very being to be even more contradictory.

  "I... don't know what happened. I was just at my house playing games. Uh... online games… with all my friends."

  That's a lie. I don't have any friends except Cody.

  "There's no need to lie to a Goddess."

  Oops.

  "I'm sorry I have to tell you this Mr. Smith, but you just died."

  Uh. Wait a sec. I died? Did I just overdose on spicy cheese poofs and caffeine? That's embarrassing. I guess I went out like a true gamer though. Now an actual God in all her glorious contradictions sits before me. Yes, me, and no one else. Take that nerds.