"Is this yours?" the sentence can be regarded as an inquiry on surface level but only I could understand the malice hidden in between

  I paused infront of the occupied stall slightly panicking

  My mind went through all the events that occurred this morning till this moment

  I woke up early as usual after studying for half of the night

  I didn't want to cross paths with my roommates but it seemed they were more pissed than usual

  It seems the friend responsible for buying make up for them also known as the pushover in the group was sick

  Apparently she was in the clinic and this occurred after I was forced to wash her clothes

  Though she was known as the pushover in the group but to me she was the person who loved to bully me the most

  My other roommates were more casual like rude remarks or insults about everything I do

  But the sick one would drag my hair and beat me up whenever the others sent her on an errand

  To put it simply; I was the perfect punching bag to take her frustration out on

  I guess my pleading and begging satisfied her

  Or maybe it's the fact that I didn't even dare look her in the eyes

  Pathetic of me but what can I do

  This is just the kind of person I am

  Has I really want to leave this world

  He he

  I can help you with that

  Anyway they were rough for once and I was slapped around for a bit

  I remember hitting my bed after quite a heavy hand

  I might have revealed my hiding place then

  I looked through the rest of the day after that but the only thing that stuck out was the time I went to the clinic

  There were a lot of people there and I'm nervous around large crowds so I abandoned the idea of taking ice from the nurse

  The students in the clinic seemed to have black spots on their body while there were some others who didn't

  Those people who didn't were convulsing with foam in their mouths

  Actually they looked much scarier than those with black spots because at least the latter was peaceful in their sleep

  After the clinic I came to the girl's bathroom to hide and wait for the swelling to reduce

  Then I noticed that the person in the stall hadn't moved for a long time

  " Not answering" the female voice belonging to the other person brought my attention back

  "Ah..yes it's mine" I said hesitant

  "You must have taken that much time to say something is yours"

  "You're getting bold Onee-san" she said dangling the hairpin infront of me

  I flinched as she used the term older sister at the end

  That means she was getting angry

  The events if this morning must have put me on edge

  Especially since they were a lot more that went to the direction of the clinic after I left

  " No...no I just need that hairpin" I said back

  "You need the hairpin" she emphasized the word 'need' to the point that I thought she would burst out laughing

  I flinched because I was sure of it now that she won't give me the hairpin

  But I still wanted to try even though I know the result would be futile

  A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  But that hairpin is very important to me

  " It's just that the hairpin is old and rusty"

  "It doesn't suit someone as beautiful as you "

  "That's why it's more appropriate for someone like me" I said trying to convince her

  " But it doesn't matter if it doesn't suit me because I want it" she said smiling at me

  " Unless you want to keep it all for yourself and be selfish"

  "You don't want to be selfish now do you sister"

  Selfish...is it really selfish of me to want something that's mine

  Isn't that just ridiculous

  I said all this in my heart but my mouth said something else

  "I'm sorry" I apologized sincerely

  Yes even though I know otherwise

  But does that really matter

  What I 'know' or 'feel'

  The answer is Not at all

  it doesn't actually matter

  So it's better to bow my head more earnestly

  Because I don't have the capability to convince myself to do anything

  Pathetic

  I can send all these feelings away so that you would not longer be pathetic

  After all feelings pass away in death

  " So stubborn" she said

  " I can work more jobs and pay for more expensive alcohol" I said but honestly I don't think it's humanly possible to work more than I do

  And I can't work in clubs due to the harassment that usually occurs

  " No need I can easily get that at my regular clubs" she said that

  but I remember her forcing me to work at a club so that she could get in

  Was that all a lie to make me suffer

  Now that I know that, can I be angry

  "I'm sorry" my mouth apologized once again as if telling me the answer to that question

  Honestly those were one of the days I was desperate for an escape

  He he

  I can help you escape

  "You should be apologizing to Mom and Dad instead"

  "Don't you know that they would be disappointed in you"

  I thought for what reason should they be disappointed

  I've already removed myself from their lives on the premise that they don't abandon me

  I've already disappointed them with my disease so what else could I possibly disappoint them with

  Honestly what else do you want me to do

  "I'm sorry" I apologized with my head down

  There was reasonable progress in our interaction because they managed to look me in the eyes for a minute

  One full minute and not as an expression

  "Maybe it's your work that's getting to you" she said all sad and remorseful for me

  She was being sarcastic and we both understood that

  "Not at all" I said but my body still aches from the labor

  I still get nosebleeds when I study and I'm addicted to energy drinks

  All these little things tell me that yes; my work has passed the stage of just 'getting to me'

  But I can't say that

  I would just be told that I was whining

  I mean my parents also work hard too but they don't whine

  My parents that are adults while I'm a child

  Sometimes I wish I was the one who was under the rubble instead of my grandma when we still lived in Japan

  When Japan still existed

  Now it's just the nobles and the elites

  The rest of the land is decimated rubble that the government can't be bothered to clear

  And the new living area is half controlled by the government and the other half by the nobles

  One of the pillars of said nobles are the Mori family which are my parents and my sister

  They discovered an ore that provides high amount of energy for various purposes

  All of us moved to a suitable place and we managed our small community

  I wish I could go back and sit under the peony garden while my parents had a picnic

  But life changes and so do people

  " You're right, just treat it as a joke" I said with an awkward smile

  "My Onee-san has quite the bad taste in jokes" she said

  It seems like she wasn't satisfied so I looked around the bathroom on how to appease her

  My eyes settled on the bucket of mop water behind me

  I wasted no time and brought it over to my former position

  I passed by the occupied stall and heard muffled sounds from the toilet that were mixed in with the water sloshing in the bucket as I brought it close

  I ignored it and poured the dirty water all over my uniform

  "Don't you think this joke is funnier" I said

  "You're right" my sister said while taking photos of me

  It seemed like she was no longer angry and began to operate her phone while laughing at the picture she just took

  I timidly walked to the sink and heard someone slip outside

  I realized there was a lot of water and the bathroom was flooded

  At least my sister won't stay here for long; I thought

  But now I have to worry about how to make my blazer uniform dry

  I have an important class that I go for on behalf of my sister

  Infact I go for most of her classes and write her exams instead

  As a pillar of the nobles; the Mori family only welcomed excellence

  That's why a monster like me is not accepted

  I looked at my transparent skin that displayed all my blood vessels at the surface of my skin

  Vessels that throbbed due to normal bodily function

  My hair that resembled straw and had to be partially died black so that it could be one color

  This also included my bangs that covered most of my face

  Honestly the figure in the mirror was creepy and depressing

  So I really can't blame my parents

  Even I think I'm disgraceful

  I stared some more and realized that the door to the occupied stall was being opened from the inside

  I turned around to see the student lunged at my sister

  My sister was somewhat athletic due to training from the family

  A daughter of the Mori family also had to keep in shape

  She dodged the student and rolled to my side

  While I stared in disbelief and shock

  "I don't know who you are but you better stop this now" my sister said

  Well she had always been more arrogant than others but arrogance and bravery can go hand in hand

  Just like now

  The student growled at her in response

  "Distract her" my sister told me

  I looked at her in fear

  I couldn't even move at this point and I stood there trembling

  My sister saw that I wouldn't budge so she 'kindly' helped me forward by pushing me to the student

  The student bit into my shoulder while my sister ran out the door

  I screamed and cried for her to save me but she didn't even look back once

  The last thing I saw was the hairpin that had fallen to the ground

  Soon my voice was replaced with the sound of me choking out blood

  I was crying due to the pain

  Then when my senses were gone

  I smiled as I felt myself slip away

  At the end of the day, I was still so....

  He he

  Ha ha

  Ha ha ha

  It's all coming to a close