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24. The Loneliest Woman

  Victor pulled his car up to the pick-up point where Kyra waited alone. When she slid into the passenger seat, he turned and asked, "Where's Lori?"

  "I finally kicked her over to Tristis," she replied casually, as if the matter was no more interesting than the light drizzle earlier that afternoon.

  But he knew better. There was a reason his master had kept Lori in her home for so long. She enjoyed the girl's company.

  "Is it really all right?" he asked, pulling away from the curb. "Now the DSI will know about her too."

  "Tristis won't grow fast enough on his own," she replied. "At least this way he has a chance of reaching A-rank before the big day comes."

  "C-rank is already pretty strong. With all the friends he's making, I can't imagine anyone else getting the top job at the hunters association."

  "It's about what comes after. The job will be all administration and no combat. His skills will stagnate. Others will surpass him. And that will put him in danger."

  "If you're worried about assassins, I can protect him," he said.

  "You'll have your hands full with your own job," she said. "Once you get up to A-rank, I'm sending you back to the Litten Dominion to build up your own team."

  "Will there be enough time? Before the big breakout."

  "There's never enough time."

  He couldn't understand all the moving parts in Kyra's plan, and he was glad he wasn't the one who had to put them all together. It didn't make sense to him why things had to be done this way—the hard way. But he trusted her enough not to question it. The easy way must not have worked in the other timelines.

  He merged onto the highway and set the car to cruise control.

  "Tell me what's bothering you," Kyra said.

  Sometimes he felt like she really could read his mind.

  "Maybe I should return sooner," he said.

  "You want to leave me too?"

  In his time in the military, Victor had served under many different officers. Some had been better than others, and since soldiers didn't get to choose their own boss, he'd had no choice but to learn to make the best of it. This made him—and everyone who served alongside him—very good at assessing the quality of a commanding officer.

  But even with all that experience, he couldn't figure Kyra out. Sometimes she had the confidence of an officer twice her age. Which made sense, since being a regressor meant she must have lived through all those years already.

  Yet other times it felt like he was talking to his little sister. That wasn't to say that either of them was weak. Out of the two scariest people he knew, he didn't know which of them to rank first and second. And that included all the hardened soldiers he'd ever worked with.

  "What I want is only what's best for you," he said.

  "Aren't you a faithful disciple?"

  He felt the blood rising to his face.

  "Go on," she said. "Tell me why your plan is better than mine."

  While it sounded like a jab, it was also an order. Maybe she intended it as both.

  "The other two," he began, "you told me they're both prodigies, and so am I. My team back home, they're loyal and hardworking men and women. Great soldiers. But they aren't going to grow as fast. For them to be of any use to you, it's going to take more time. If I start now, they may just get there by the big breakout."

  She took a moment to weigh his words. Because he was driving, he couldn't get a good read on her thoughts. Not that it would have mattered. He was prepared to push her as long as it took to see reason.

  "If I had my way," she said, "I would have three A-rank disciples on that day. Chances are, the other two aren't going to get there. So I'll need to have you there at the very least."

  "I will without a doubt," he declared.

  She shook her head. "You can't project your growth by what's come before. The gulf between ranks grows wider at each stage. It will take more effort to get to B-rank than everything you've done till now. And A-rank will be harder still."

  He understood the difficulties she was trying to convey. It was perhaps a bit arrogant to believe that he could achieve it without her assistance in only a few short months. But he was determined to help her salvage what she could from this timeline.

  "I will train day and night to clear that gulf," he said impassionedly.

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  Kyra turned her head and stared out the side window at the world passing by. The road ran close to one of the tributaries that fed into the Lacrima, the river that cut through Lacris-Cheree. The water shined so beautifully in the moonlight that Victor wished he could stop the car and share the sight with his master for just a moment.

  "Isn't it too greedy of a thing to wish for?" she murmured.

  It was a rare moment that her composure slipped and he got a glimpse of the immense burden she must be carrying. He couldn't imagine how many failures she must have lived through. For someone as capable as her not to be able to save the world, the task ahead of them must be enormous indeed. It was his duty as her disciple to help her shoulder it.

  "Then let's both be greedy together," he said.

  A long moment passed in silence before she said, "Take that next exit and pull up beside the river."

  He did as she instructed, though this was a detour on their way to the dungeon. Then he followed her out of the car and stood beside her on the riverbank. A cool breeze swept her hair back while she watched a family of ducks digging for bugs in the muddy bank. He wished he was allowed to take a photo.

  "When you say that you will work tirelessly," she said, "I believe you. If anyone can get to A-rank in time for the big day while also raising a team, it'll be you."

  Her words of confidence filled him with joy.

  "You told me before," she continued, "that it's your destiny to fight monsters. Do you still feel that way?"

  "I've never had a moment of doubt," he replied.

  "Don't be so quick," she said. "In every other timeline, you die. Everyone dies, but you in particular, before the very end."

  "How do I die?" he asked.

  "I don't think I can tell you," she replied.

  He just nodded.

  "You can accept it just like that?"

  "If you don't want me to know, I'm sure there's a good reason for it," he replied.

  "What if there isn't? What if I'm mistaken? What if I'm just a weak sort of person?"

  "I trust you."

  She turned to him with narrowed eyes. "I'm a foreign woman who suddenly dropped into your life. Don't they warn you soldiers about people like me? For all you know, half of everything I've told you has been lies. What if I'm just using you? What if this isn't really about saving the world?"

  "I have thought about that," Victor said.

  The ducks waddled away when a line of swans drifted closely by.

  ". . . And?" she prompted.

  "It just feels right," he replied.

  While at times Kyra was hard to read, right now he could feel her disdain over his answer. He felt compelled to elaborate.

  "It's the life of a soldier," he said, "to be given orders that don't make any sense. We have to carry them out anyway. To put our lives on the line. All on the faith that somewhere up the chain, someone knows what they're doing."

  The swans had passed, and now they had neither ducks nor swans in their proximity.

  "I don't feel any doubt," he continued. "Someone like you can reach out and take anything she wants in this world. Power, wealth, fame. There's only one reason to go this harder path."

  "I'm not so lofty as you believe," she said. "I'm only doing it for me."

  "Aren't we all?" he said softly.

  "I wasn't a soldier like you. I wanted an easy life. A bloodless life. A life where I could just reach out and take what I wanted. Then I found myself in this life. And apparently I have a talent for it."

  She turned her face up to the moon and he only got to see her bright profile for a brief moment before the clouds overhead blocked out the light. This did nothing to diminish her sight in his eyes, as she shined just as brilliantly in infravision.

  "Sometimes I imagine meeting my ten-year-old self and having to tell her that her greatest talent in life won't be climbing trees or training puppies. It won't be how she can outrun all the other children over hours and hours. It won't be her tricky words that lured two boys into a scuffle."

  The rain started coming down. It was more than a drizzle and quickly drenched his short hair and streamed down past his ears. Kyra didn't seem to mind it at all, and she spread out her arms as if to help it soak faster through her blouse.

  "What do you tell that little girl?" he asked.

  She turned to him with her rain-soaked face, her eyes solemn and sad. "Nothing. She'll know it's all a lie anyway."

  "Tell her she's a survivor," he suggested. "That she'll become a regressor and save the world one day. That it will all work out."

  She turned her face back to the sky and they both stood there in silence. More than ten minutes passed, and he waited patiently for his master even as the rained soaked through to his skin.

  When at last she spoke, it was in a commanding voice, passing down his marching orders. "Take your car and go home. Make immediate preparations to return to the Litten Dominion. Our training together is over."

  Kyra continued to stand at the riverbank long after Victor left. She didn't mind the rain. It reminded her of that fateful night, and she could do with some reminding about what was at stake.

  An offroader came to a stop behind her, and she reluctantly pulled herself away from the river. She shook the mud off her boots and steamed the moisture from her clothes before lifting herself into the passenger seat.

  "Done with your farewells?" Benny said cheerfully as he shifted the vehicle into gear.

  She felt a little bad about not telling Victor the whole truth, but he needed to think that his return to the Litten Dominion was entirely his own idea.

  He had far too much faith in her, and while that made him loyal, it also bred complacency. It wouldn't be conscious. He would continue to train in earnest. But his belief in her being a regressor and that she would all somehow make it all work out—with that attitude, there was a chance he wouldn't make A-rank in time.

  It had to be this way. With Tristis and Lori's current circumstances, Victor was going to be the only A-ranker among her disciples on the big day. And that may not be enough. Even with Victor's team trained up, she may have to step in.

  But that was a problem to worry about when the time came. She'd done all she can for now.

  "I don't do farewells," she said. "And it's unnecessary here. I'll see them all again soon enough."

  "Is it really all right this way?" he asked. "If it makes things easier, I can always give you a redo."

  "I can make this work," she replied hastily.

  Benny turned onto an on-ramp and merged into the highway. They were heading south away from Lacris-Cheree. The plan was to travel the continent and clear out high-rank dungeons. She would continue to feed her disciples with dungeon coordinates, but she herself also needed to get stronger. In the meantime she'd left her fox Fenne with enough food and water until she got back, and some other precautions in case something went wrong.

  "You know what I think?" he said. "You like it better this way. Being alone. Having disciples made you uncomfortable."

  "How am I alone when I've got you?" she said.

  "I don't count."

  "How many years did we work together in the other timeline? I never opened up to you, did I?"

  "Says the woman who so isolated herself that no one noticed her disappearance. There was no funeral, no obituary in the papers, not even an overdue bill. In every other timeline, up until the moment the world ended, there was not a single whisper of your name."

  She smiled. "Sounds wonderful."

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