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  The first path...

  I see myself looking out more often now. I wake up, I brush my teeth but that periodically part of it is broken, I just focus on the black spots around my teeth sometimes it hurts and my gums bleed... I stopped doing that. I feel so much emotion that on my walk around the area I just bought a drum set, sidequests am I right? Hey I suck and have no rythm but all I end up doing is playing whac-a-mole imagining my worst enemies and hitting as haard as I ca-

  I broke it, it started raining today so I end up getting soaked and as I wait for the line to finish I wash my face with my wet glove that I end up shoving up my coat and putting my hands in my pocket as I wait. Turns out my fedora has a leakage and it needs patching.

  I bought a new set and as I sit there comparing the damage of my first set and my second I notice I MAY BE A BIT PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW. I mean it sucks, everybody I knew fucking left me and not even just them it seems Malfonz got the happy end of the stick. "Be happy for them, BUT WHAT ABOUT ME HUH", I said this looking at my mirror. It took me a few seconds... I let time pass... I noticed my hair was undone and curly which I heard doesn't fit my face at all and as soon as I noticed that I just abruptly said out loud "damn I look like a crack head", which sucked admitting.

  I left the house or I would end up destroying another set I paid for with my hard earned money. It got dark fast today must be a sign winter is coming. And as I walked past my house, my thoughts really just hit me like a brick. I would rather wanna stay dead than go through this, I hold no value anymore not even in people, if I were to be found dead tomorrow not even Malfonz would notice, and I hate that guy, I mean the before me had a goal right now I'm just lost.

  The goal was always to find the meaning behind life, cuz that is something not even my futurevision can predict in a way, confirm that I lived my life right. "You might oh but who are you asking", maybe as I am about to wither and die if I end up meeting the reaper once more, maybe I can ask her as I wither away. I'm being hunted right now as I speak and yet I don't run away, a part of me feels like my power is all I have to offer as a person, I can't become KING ANYMORE because I read the news today and let's say Malfonz won, he stopped me from pursuing my dream any further.

  You know what sucks, back then the reason I had everything is because I gave people a shared goal, a situationship if you will, people are goal driven characters in a story called life. I gave them a goal to pursue with me back then and they died, it was all stockholm syndrome, now when I go out in the rain or in the day or even the night I catch someone from my past doing something sometimes. I watch from the distance because they managed to become friends without me, Lefty works at a library, Righty ended up becoming friends with him through a shared passion for comic books, the girl was still having some bad luck, but she managed to save herself and become independant because that's Lauraline for you, in a timeline Malfonz gave up the vaccine.

  Now all I do is look at people from afar, and I don't want a hi-bye neighbor to neighbor friendship, I don't want something that ends as soon as people leave, ... wh what if I die knowing nobody was ever there to see me, make me feel like home. Will everything be solved if I become a king, will I be happier? Only time will tell.

  As the lights flickered on the side of a very illuminated building the same building the billboard was pointing at being a strip club, people were lined in like sardines man. Damn was my first word, those thighs, those breasts, under all that lingere ooh baby. I mean after all those pent up emotions this felt like the sweetest treat I could ever give myself, but my shaky hands started acting up and as I started thinking more and more, I needed a beer to drink away these thoughts. As I walked to the bar I saw peoples arms wrapped with women on each side, I felt a split second of jealousy even if that relationship with they had with those women was transactional most of the time.

  I sat at a seat just near the corner and as I asked for some vodka, I mean never tried anything that heavy "like mama told me ... try something new", I paid the tab and as I moved my head I saw the most beautiful woman to exist. A white crop top, short cut hair like a punk inspired mullet, cut jeans, a cowgirl fedora as if her fedora was asking my out and a ribbon to tie it all together. Man I was in love with doing her, I even asked for a straw with my vodka to show how manly I was, moving my eyebrows up and down as she eyes me up.

  "Hey sugar give me a third of your wallets worth and I'll let you look at me for free", she said sitting next to me leaning forward as my tooth bit onto the straw.

  Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  "That a carrot or you just happy to see me", she said looking down.

  "It's my ink pen... you never know when people are gonna ask me for my autograph, I have to keep the ink warm dolly", I said nervous and I knew she noticed.

  "You WaNt OnE MiSSss", I couldn't even look at her because my eyes weren't even looking respectfully.

  "You can spill that ink wherever you want when you're with me, I like when it scrapes against my paper", she said and by then I knew I had been seduced and I didn't even understand what she was alluding too, but damn did she say it hot.

  I went inside that room and we didn't even do anything, turns out I didn't pay enough for some fireworks to happen between us but damn me and her in one room as I let her dance all over me, I felt something beyond the killings, I was in love with a stripper who didn't love me. Her hands were soft, I could close my eyes and I would not be afraid of the dark, she let me do whatever the second time around. She was popular with the guys because she was so personalizable, you could name her, she would tease you, I never felt so alive. Blacking out sucked though. But losing my first time it changed me... I felt disgusted afterwards, I read enough to know this was a bad decision but I didn't wanna think anymore, I was more depressed than ever.

  I was going in so many times you could call me a regular customer. Had a good day I paid my dues in her bed, had a bad day I personalized my stay. "What you wanna call me tonight", she'd ask me I'd never give her a name of someone I knew in my life but close enough never hurt, a common name was Laura, I was close five times to naming her Lauraline.

  It felt good in the moment, it always did, sometimes it made me question my identity... she was a miracle worker... I saw the candle lady in her and sometimes I saw the me I never respected. Sometimes I would get the darkest of thoughts about me just killing her, I didn't even trust myself with me yet, she was only doing her job, I felt like crying ten times over. My days were hopeless, I felt nothing in my days, like as if I was a chained prisoner and my day to day life was stuck in this messed up cycle, praying my dark thoughts don't end up with me repeating something I left.

  I hated myself from the fiber of my being, god killed me once why didn't do it again, in my eyes even though I had lived my life doing the impossible I could never be a better man... and that sucks. I sat on a bench for once it felt like I had a glimpse of my old life, felt like I was in controll of it, my first thought as if I was an escaped criminal I ran away from that glittering place as far as I can see, but as if someone was controlling my feet asking me to feel that same feeling once more I denied it, I sat on that bench observing the world the most I could because I knew I was seeing it's beauty less and less these days. A granny sat right next too me, she started talking about her late husband, and all I could say was I am lost and I don't know how to get back to the man I was to the man I was hoping too be, I'm stuck in the middle of these woods and nobody is searching for me, she just said sincerity finds its way eventually.

  I went back to that place, she saw I was sadder but if there was money painting her pockets it didn't matter, I paid her enough for me to get a lap dance. And as I sat there, watching her strip, I felt nothing again just like back then and I cried. I cried because I was such an awful person in my lifetime, I cried because I could never run away from any of my problems. She stopped and for once I saw a little glimmer of niceness from her, she consoled me, and I noticed lust fucking sucks. Everything went blurry as my tears flooded in, I started wailing as if someone was torturing me but in truth I was once in a long time not running away from me, we sat there I paid her double and she consoled me. We laughed, we talked, I wanted a friend, I missed talking. I slept the calmest that day, I felt seen for once man. After all those days, and one night stands, I think I just had my first crush.

  We became on and off friends after that, when I felt alone I just rented her out. Maybe I can have victories sometimes.

  --

  The second path...

  Confrontation sucks, but what sucks is an eye to the soul, because then you can observe it and refine your character. Safe to say Neova is nervous while Hyena is sitting there still angry and Neova doesn't even know what to say. Neova gesturing that the foods on him, Hyena didn't budge he knew he could get more out of Neova if he made him wait. He couldn't even stand to look at Neova he said.

  It was raining and so Neova decided if you ain't gonna talk and gonna play hard to get why not a little rough housing. Neova picked up a gift on his way here, those plastic things that have bubble water inside them that makes bubbles bubble, instead he shoved down his pocket (to bystanders looked like he shoved it up his arse) and he made a small clump of ball using paper and shot it out of his straw, that's what Akari always did when she never got her way then after that she got beat up (rough housing am I right).

  Hyena went to the ground and grabbed a chunk of wet dirt turned it into a dirtball and threw it at Neova's face, he stopped pouting when Neova called war. It was on big time, "What you think little man is a big man now wuittle boy", said Neova mockingly swaing his hips as he brings out the gift only for Hyena to already be winding up a shot as if he were a popeyes strip. Boom went the toy as both notice what happened, first they shared aww's then they shared their laughter.

  Neova apologized, he was man enough to admit that even if he still didn't believe what he did was wrong, he got into his craft because he enjoyed it first off, Hyena accepted hoping a change in heart in Neova as they walked shoulder on shoulder drenching themselves in rain. They made a mess, but they fixed a budding friendship. Fin.