"Okay, get ready for some fighting. Today, we're going to see how you do with a staff. That might be more your thing, as it fits your frame better." (R)

  No matter what kind of weapon I swing, I can't quite see the outcome being any different against this monster.

  Particularly, I worry what this sadist can do with an even longer and thicker club than yesterday.

  Nonetheless, she throws me a wooden staff.

  I have a bit of an issue adjusting to the size.

  It's heavy, and I need to pay attention not to get stuck against the ground.

  "The staff is a staple point for mages. You don't need to be especially gifted to hit something with a long stick. Also, it provides sturdier protection against attacks, as you can at least stabilize both sides with your arms. In addition, spears and halberds are the main weapons of our soldiers, so you should learn this already just for the availability." (R)

  I seriously don't see myself swinging a halberd effectively.

  A spear, maybe, but a halberd?

  Argh, where did my confidence go from when I still wanted to join the army?!

  I'm nothing but an anxious wreck since I died!

  Let's do this!

  I raise the staff with all the confidence I could muster.

  Not a second too soon, as I by now learned through a lot of beatings that Captain Relia is not going to wait till I'm ready.

  To my own surprise, I manage to block the strike with the middle part of the stick, even if it was mostly panic that made me duck below it.

  Yet there's a crunch that makes me question if it's gonna survive another hit like this.

  Also, I can barely believe my arms managed to take that hit.

  That feeling of pins and needles, which is now running along my arms, doesn't come as a surprise, after I withstood this strike.

  "Not bad. But pay attention to the biggest issue about wielding a staff." (R)

  Was that a compliment!?

  She's capable of this?!

  But what did she mean by "issue"?

  Once again, she strikes at me.

  Because the weapon is so long, I can see and anticipate the way she's coming.

  A long haul from the left.

  Here it comes!

  "Crunch"

  A-agckh!

  My hand!

  She, she intentionally struck where I was holding the staff and broke every single finger she hit!

  "Your fingers are the most vulnerable part of your defense, so pay attention where you left them!" (R)

  "Wham"

  The next goes straight through and sends me flying.

  Not like I could've done anything with this hand.

  I have a pretty good sense of my body, the way that I am now, and can feel how the magic is trying to set my fingers back and fix them.

  "And don't just keep standing there, waiting for an enemy to finish you off! Now get up, again! No time to waste!" (R)

  "Could we at least wait till my fingers are straight again?" (Y)

  "You won't get that courtesy on the battlefield, so the answer is no. Be glad this was not a bladed weapon, or they'd be off. Just take it as you can." (R)

  I can't believe her!

  Is she intent on completely wrecking me?!

  My sense of pain might be dulled, but I feel by no means comfortable while receiving a beating such as this!

  I try nonetheless, my fingers prying more as a residual alignment, rather than my ability to keep them that way.

  The clash ends as expected, with me on the ground and some more broken ribs.

  Did I mention that knitting myself back together requires quite a lot of energy?

  This all adds up to a decent sense of frustration.

  "Pay more attention to your footwork! You're far too unstable on your feet. But don't make the mistake of becoming so rigid that you can't dodge anymore. Also, stop looking away from me, and whatever you do, don’t squeeze your eyes shut! How can you react to strikes from different angles if you can’t see what I’m doing!?" (R)

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  How am I supposed to do all this, if I need to fear that your next strike sends me flying altogether?!

  "Now rise and shine! Get ready for the next round!" (R)

  "What are we even doing this for?! I can't stop you anyway!" (Y)

  As if it would even change anything about her beating me up.

  "Yep, and this kind of thinking is exactly your issue. You think an orc is going to strike any less hard? Of course you’re at a disadvantage! I have years of experience on you, and while I didn't use any strengthening techniques, the difference in our physical capabilities won't be overcome just like this. The same goes for the orcs." (R)

  She forgot the biggest issue that certainly isn't just my technique.

  "But then this is completely pointless! You're just so much stronger than I am!" (Y)

  "Yeah, but that's not a feat. I mean, just look at you. Even before death, you must've been a walking skeleton. Yet listen, there's a lot you can do to offset the disadvantage with proper technique. Usually, I'd say you're going to improve or die trying, but let me tell you, death is not an option for you." (R)

  "Hey, I tried to train! I can't do much about not growing up big and strong!" (Y)

  "Yeah, that's a common mage problem." (R)

  Excuse me!?

  "Ehm, what?" (Y)

  "Mages. You bunch lack the quantities of natural magic that make your bodies grow as fit as others. Instead, you get to have control over an element. Not sure if I'd take that deal. The health issues don't make it sound quite worth it." (R)

  "Wait, so I only am small and weak because of that damn magic that I never got to use in the first place?!" (Y)

  "Well, I'd say that you also got a poor draw in terms of physical traits, but it's definitely a factor. Not like I'd know how being dead changes that dynamic." (R)

  "So I'm disadvantaged by nature! Then what's the point?! Why are we even fighting if I'm gonna lose anyway?!" (Y)

  "Because this training is supposed to raise your survivability. And be it only the tiniest amount, I intend to do that! I don't know how you survived your encounter with those three dead lurkers you dragged here, but if an orc were truly set on killing you, then you wouldn't even make it for a second. We are about to change that. Make you at least deflect one strike, then another, as many as are necessary so you can at least stall long enough to somehow get out of the threat of imminent death. Or better, you drain them to death. However, that won't be very feasible if you're resting in pieces. Believe me, you really need to push through this training. Not despite your poor attributes, but exactly to make up for them." (R)

  Damnit!

  If I'd just known about my magic, or never had it in the first place.

  Why would I even want to be a cold mage?!

  It certainly doesn't help me fight this woman.

  Or maybe...

  I focus my magic and concentrate it around where my hands grasp the stick.

  They quickly glaze over, but aside from a dull sensation of cold, I don‘t feel anything.

  This way, I got a far tighter grip around the wood.

  Let her now try to rip it out of my hands!

  While I believe I was pretty smart, Commander Relia only raises an eyebrow at me.

  I don't let her intimidate me this time and strike hard.

  "Whack"

  Uh, I kinda just discovered that swinging this staff with my completely stiff hands, locked on both sides, is kinda lackluster in practice, which means I can't hit her with any real impact.

  And as is to be expected, Commander Relia is barely affected, but I could hold tight this time, even with barely healed fingers.

  My grip might be a little rigid, but I can make up for it by applying more ice to the stick, making it hard and my grip tighter.

  At least I should hold my own far better on the defense now.

  And there comes her strike.

  "Whack"

  Ackh!

  That was hard!

  The ice holds for me, but I'm thrown back, and only a small miracle is keeping me on my feet.

  Oh no, because of this, Relia had the leeway to haul back for a heavy swing.

  "CRACK"

  She hit the staff.

  And it's gone.

  At the same time, I'm thrown back and land hard on the ground.

  "Urgh. Shit! Damn, let's call it off here. You got enough. Please, tell me you can heal this." (R)

  Heal?

  She didn't hit my body as directly as usual, so what...

  "Whomp"

  I fell.

  I tried to push myself up and dropped down.

  Something's wrong with my hands, they...

  They're gone...

  MY HANDS ARE GONE!!!

  "Wha-wha-wha-wha-" (Y)

  Oh my god!!

  They broke off together with the ice.

  "In any case, it should be clear now why this is certainly not a reliable method for you. It's banned now. But damn, you can heal this, right? Or do we need to puzzle them back together? I heard, and also saw, you can heal quite crazy stuff, and it's certainly not about living matter for you to succeed." (R)

  Heal?

  Can I?

  Oh, right, I can.

  I did so when my arm got chopped off, so my hands shouldn't be any different.

  Okay, focus, Yomi.

  Concentrate on the wound.

  Or rather, the complete absence.

  Oh god!

  No, concentrate.

  Healing.

  You can heal.

  Make them come back.

  Okay, the energy is at work.

  It's doing something.

  Working from the cracked off bone.

  Doing its magic.

  Yes, I think I feel it growing.

  The bone grows!

  Yes, push more!

  I certainly perceive something happening.

  But it's really slow.

  I'll need like an hour to finish this up.

  Is it because my flesh is still frozen around the wound?

  Or maybe because of my lacking magical reserves?

  "Hah... Nice. I certainly know some healers who'd be very interested in that trick." (R)

  I certainly don't get how she can be so casual about my still-missing hands!

  I am definitely not!

  Just then, a messenger comes running straight to her.

  "Commander Relia! The marshall wishes to speak to you. Would you accompany me?" (messenger)

  "Damn, how many more stupid chores is that guy going to dump on me? Anyway, to conclude our session, that was terrible. Sigh. Well, let's see tomorrow how you do with daggers. Those at least don't require as much strength to hold." (R)

  How are two smaller sticks going to help me out, not to get hit as badly?!

  "So get up, wipe the dust off, and get some rest for the remainder of the day. We'll meet tomorrow at the usual time. And Yomi, don't forget to relay it if you're in need of filling up again. I'd rather know you are filled than otherwise." (R)

  That's an offer I'm certainly not going to take her up on.

  Though it's kinda off how she, at times, sounds almost caring.

  If I wouldn't know her to be the abusive commander she is, one could almost believe her to be caring.

  Which is just ridiculous.

  For now, I should just get away from here as fast as possible.